by Sienna Blake
But I just wanted to see her first. To make sure she was okay. Before I crashed back into her life.
My heart hammered as the clock struck on the hour and the students began to pour out of the lecture hall that Saoirse was scheduled to be in. Any second now and I’d see her again.
It’d been almost seven long months since she left me. Seven months that had felt like seven years.
It felt a little like déjà vu as the crowd of students exiting the lecture hall parted and Saoirse stepped out into the open.
Fuck me. She was more stunning than all of my memories of her. Her blonde hair had gotten even longer and the sun had kissed it with even more golden highlights. She was showing of her long legs, now a golden brown, in a pair of denim shorts, a black Nirvana t-shirt tucked into her shorts.
I remembered her wearing my Nirvana shirt all those months ago…and nothing else.
She must have bought her own.
She missed me just as much as I missed her.
I couldn’t wait until this evening.
I strode forward from my hiding place in the shadows of a neighbouring building, ready to break into a run towards her.
A boy slung his arm around her shoulder and spun her. I hadn’t even noticed him next to her until he touched her.
My blood simmered. If that asshole didn’t take his hands off her—
She smiled up at him.
I halted.
She smiled up at him.
He leaned down and kissed her.
The sight of it sucker-punched me in the throat. But it didn’t prepare me for what came next.
She slid her hand on his cheek and kissed him back.
Danny cussed from my side, confirming that I wasn’t dreaming this sight.
Seven months and she’d moved on. With someone her age.
She was happy without me.
She might have not chosen to leave. But she’d found a better life anyway. One I had no business ruining.
My spirit crumpled right then and there. I staggered back, wanting to run away, to scrub my eyes of the sight of Saoirse with someone else, another part of me unable to look away.
They broke apart and walked side by side, his arm still around her shoulders. They looked good together.
Wholesome. Clean. The kind of couple people smiled at when they walked past instead of sneered at.
I’d only ever wanted what was best for her. I only wanted what would make her happy.
I watched them until I couldn’t see them anymore, disappeared into another building.
“Let’s go,” I said, finally getting the strength to turn away.
“You’re not going after her?” Declan yelled.
I lowered my chin and shook my head.
Declan grabbed the material of my shirt in his fists. “You,” he growled in my face, “are not flying halfway round the fucking world just to give up now.”
“But she’s with a—”
“Fuck the other guy.” Declan’s eyes blazed. “She belongs with you. Go remind her of that.”
84
____________
Saoirse
“Come on, Saoirse,” Tim said, “my parents are only up for the weekend and they want to meet you.”
“We’re not even official,” I cried, panic gripping me. “I can’t meet your parents.”
Tim rolled his eyes. “Saoirse, we’ve been dating for weeks.”
And for weeks we’d been doing this dance. He’d push, I’d pull back.
I tried to move on. I did. But…
“I’m still not ready for anything.”
Truthfully, I might never be. Diarmuid still haunted my dreams, still ghosted my heart.
Tim let out an exasperated noise. He’d been so patient. But he was getting tired of my refusal to let him in. How could I when someone already took up all the space in my heart?
“Maybe we should take a break this weekend,” he said quietly. “Have some space from each other. Maybe then you’ll figure out what you want.”
It was a veiled ultimatum. Either I’d decide to be with him or I would lose him. I should be panicked at this thought.
Why did I feel relief?
After I said goodbye to Tim I went home to a quiet apartment.
“Hello?” I called out as I locked the apartment door behind me, kicking my shoes off at the door.
No answer.
This was weird. There was usually at least one housemate here in the evenings.
I noticed a light coming from the kitchen, heard the hum of one of the appliances. Dammit, someone must have left something on.
I walked in to turn it off, my bare feet cold on the tiles. The light was coming from the oven. Inside was an apple pie.
Who the hell was baking one now? It looked almost done, too.
“Anyone home?” I yelled.
Hearing nothing, I turned off the oven and opened the door to let out the heat.
The smell of apple pie hit me right in the heart. Memories slammed into me so hard that I stumbled back.
Diarmuid and I never got that apple pie.
What I wouldn’t give to share a slice of apple pie and vanilla ice cream with Diarmuid.
I sighed. And knew right then that I could not say yes to Tim. He deserved someone who wasn’t so broken, someone who could love him back, really love him back.
I walked down the hallway to my bedroom, a cosy room which let in the morning sun. I dropped my school bag on the bed and went to drop my keys and handbag on the dresser when something caught my eye.
A tiny blue velvet box.
What was this?
I dropped my keys and bag beside the box and picked it up, turning it over in my hands. Did one of the girls leave it here by mistake?
Or was this for me?
There was no note. It wasn’t my birthday or anything.
I cracked the box open.
Sitting in the centre of the velvet cushion was a tiny silver airplane.
A charm.
Just like the ones on the charm bracelet that I wore all the time.
“Hey, selkie,” a voice came from behind me.
Oh my God.
I dropped the box on the dresser, my hands flying to my mouth.
I thought I heard his voice.
I missed him so much I was going mad, hearing his voice when he couldn’t possibly be here.
I didn’t dare turn around.
It would break my heart to see that he wasn’t really there.
“Why won’t you look at me?” the voice came again.
This time a sob left my mouth.
It couldn’t be. It couldn’t be. I was going mad with grief.
Two warm hands slipped onto my arms. The scent of Diarmuid’s cologne and man washed over me. This time the sobs could not be contained.
He gently turned me to look at him. He looked so damn good. I wanted to run my fingers through his beard, through his hair now pulled back into a ponytail, trace the ink showing from his sleeve.
All I could do was shake my head.
“What? How are you here?”
He smiled, that perfect gorgeous smile that was only for me. “I flew here, silly.”
“But you’re scared of planes. Terrified of them.”
He shrugged. “I guess I just never had a good enough reason to fly halfway round the world. Until you.”
Everything in me melted.
I reached for him but the frown marring his beautiful face stopped me.
“Who is he?” Diarmuid asked, his voice cracking. “Your new boyfriend.”
Oh God. He must have seen Tim and me.
I shook my head, all the words, the explanations getting caught around the fist of guilt around my throat. How could he forgive me after seeing me with someone else? How could I have done that to him?
“I’m sorry, Diarmuid,” I choked out, unable to look straight at him. “I’m so sorry.”
I felt the life drain out of his hands still holding onto my a
rms. They slid off me and he took a step back from me. The distance ached. It felt like a thousand oceans all over again.
“Just tell me…do you love him?” he whispered. “Does he…make you happy?”
What?
My face snapped up. The pain etched in Diarmuid’s face almost broke me. He thought I’d moved on?
I reached for him again. This time nothing would stop me. I touched his face, clasped my hands around his head, tangled my fingers in his hair.
“I tried to move on. I tried. But… I am yours. You have my skin.”
“But you looked—”
“We went on some dates. He’s a nice boy. But I’m in love with someone else.”
His eyes jumped up to meet mine. Hope surged in them.
“You,” I said. “I love you. Will love you until my dying breath.”
He crushed his mouth onto mine, his arms folding around me. Our heads tilted so we could get closer, tongues warring and dancing with each other.
My head spun, and I felt like I was flying, weightless over the ocean.
He was here.
Diarmuid was here.
He found me.
Even though I left him. Even though I said all those horrible things in that cursed letter.
I pulled away, eyes scanning over his face, greedy for each inch of him. He looked so damn good, better than any of the memories I’d been carrying around for him. “How did you—? And Ava—?”
He shushed me with a finger against my lips. “We have all the time in the world to talk. Later. Right now, I need you, need to feel you. All of you.”
He stripped me of all my clothes and I stripped him of his. He lowered me to my bed and climbed in between my legs. I moaned long and loud as he thrust into me in one smooth movement.
He made love to me.
Then he fucked me so hard that I screamed.
Good thing no one else was home.
Epilogue
____________
Saoirse
Three years later…
“Please welcome to the stage, our very own valedictorian of this year’s graduating class…Saoirse Quinn.”
I grinned as I made my way up to the front of the stage, my navy robes swishing around my feet, golden tassel bobbing off my cap on one side of my vision.
These last three years of college in Australia had been the best of my life.
Diarmuid and I moved in together in the first year we’d lived here, a cute one-bedroom apartment only a ten-minute bus ride from college.
Diarmuid, Danny and Declan had gone thirds in a boxing gym. Diarmuid ran the place but Danny and Declan were silent partners. Made sense as they were both still living elsewhere.
Selkie’s Gym in Indooroopilly, Brisbane was doing well. Really well.
Diarmuid had linked up with the local youth groups, and the youth rehab centre had organised training programs to help troubled youths. Boxing gave them focus, purpose and taught them discipline. Boxing helped to channel their anger and rage.
I got to know and love both Declan and Danny, both of them making sure to visit whenever they were touring down under.
The kids at Selkie’s Gym especially loved it when the world title holding MMA fighter, Declan Gallagher, came to help train them.
Diarmuid was living his dream, being his own boss and working to make a difference in the lives of teens and kids, just as he was born to do.
I was living mine.
“Dear graduating class,” I began. I’d worked all week on this speech, but it’d taken me a lifetime to work on the message. “Back in Ireland everyone thought they knew who I was. My mother was a whore and I was the daughter of a criminal…” I revealed my very personal story to the listening crowd.
I’d gone back and forth about how much to reveal of my past. I was afraid I’d be judged yet again, I’d be scorned or rejected.
It was Diarmuid who’d convinced me otherwise.
“The only way others learn from us is not by our perfections,” he had said while we’d been cuddling in bed, “but by our mistakes, our failings, our vulnerabilities. Be bravely you, selkie. Those who deserve you, won’t judge you.”
That’s when I understood why Diarmuid kept his hair long, his scruffy beard and marked his arms and back with his life story.
He was brave. Braver than anyone I’d ever known. He made sure only those who didn’t judge him were the only ones who deserved him.
I spotted Diarmuid’s face in the crowd. Watching me. Here for me. Smiling for me. My heart felt so full I could have burst.
Beside him were Declan, Danny and Danny’s new girlfriend, who I’d not met yet.
I raised my eyebrow at Diarmuid. I’d have to ask him about that later. Danny never brought girls around.
I focused back on my speech, not needing to read my notes because I’d memorised them.
“What I have learned most in my time here is that you don’t have to accept the life you were given. Make your own. Choose your own. Your own path. Your own future.” I caught Diarmuid’s eyes and smiled. “Your own family.”
I’m so proud of you, he mouthed and grinned back at me.
Tears rimmed my eyes, but I forced myself to go on, despite my wobbly voice.
“Move towards your future with the knowledge that this life is yours as you want it to be. Congratulations, class. We are graduated! Here’s to our future.”
I threw my cap in the air amidst cheers and clapping, a sea of blue blurring in front of me.
When the ceremony was over, I was swarmed by the friends I’d made the last few years, all wanting hugs, congratulations and promises to meet at the graduation party someone was having. Including Tim.
After Diarmuid found me, I’d sat down with Tim and explained everything to him. He’d been shocked and upset, but he’d understood. We’d stayed friends. A few months later he found his own happily ever after in the form of an exchange student who was now his long-term girlfriend.
Once I broke free of my fellow students, I rushed through the crowd to find Diarmuid. I didn’t have to look very hard. The three Irish boys were all over six two, Diarmuid the tallest at six five.
I ran towards him, a grin on my face. As I reached him, he dropped to one knee and produced a box. I tripped over my robe and almost fell on my face.
He caught my arm and steadied me.
“Hey,” he said almost shyly.
“Hey.” I’m not sure how my voice was working, my throat was so dry, but it did. Barely.
He let go of me when I was steady and opened the box, looking at me with the most tender look in his eyes. I could hear the hush of the people around us, watching us.
In the centre of the velvet box was a diamond ring, the band decorated with tiny lines.
“W-What is this?” I asked. A stupid question. An excuse to give me time to get over my shock.
“A hint,” he said, his voice croaky. He cleared his voice. “It’s not for your charm bracelet.”
This box.
This ring.
He was asking me to be his wife. I peered closer at the lines, their shape catching my attention.
“Is that…the serotonin molecule engraved along the band?”
He nodded. “The happiness molecule. You make me so happy, Saoirse. Be mine. Be my wife.”
I threw myself into his arms and kissed him, amidst the cheers of our friends around us.
“Silly fisherman,” I whispered. “I’ve always been yours. You have my skin, remember?”
He grinned.
“And you have mine.”
The End
Dear Readers
I arrived in Ireland three years ago without a clear sense of “home”, thinking I’d move on soon, just as I had done for the previous four countries before that. But this beautiful country and its kind, warm-hearted people have embraced me. I understand what home means and now that I found it, I don’t want to ever leave.
You can’t understand how honoured I am to showcas
e this beautiful adopted country of mine in this new series. I’ve tried to stay true to Irish-isms, annoying my Irish friends with all manner of questions abut Irish life and culture. Any mistakes are all mine and not meant with any offense.
I hope you enjoyed Irish Kiss! Declan and Danny’s stories are in the works.
Please post a review on Amazon!
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