Guilty as Sin

by Jami Alden

  Beaute D’or.

  Chapter 22

  Tommy listened intently as CJ described how he’d stumbled across the jar while running on a nearby trail.

  “I needed to get out to clear my head,” CJ said after he’d gulped the glass of water Kate had brought him. “I didn’t want to run into anyone, so took that trail you showed me, the one that you can pick up over by your parents’ place.”

  Tommy knew it well, ran it several times a week any time he was in Sandpoint. “It doesn’t get much traffic,” Tommy said to bring Kate up to speed. “It goes from the top of this ridge down to the lake, but the trailhead isn’t obvious from the beach, and the other access point is from up here. We need to get Jackson in the loop on this,” Tommy said.

  Tommy lent CJ a pair of jeans and a clean T-shirt. CJ took a quick shower and then the three of them loaded into Tommy’s truck and headed to Jackson’s house.

  Jackson’s expression was wary as he opened the door and saw the three of them. “What is it?”

  “We may have found something that will help us find Tricia,” Kate said simply.

  Jackson quickly ushered them into the living room. “Tell me what’s going on.”

  CJ cast a look over Jackson’s shoulder at Brooke, who was curled up at the end of a couch. Next to her was Ben Kortlang, who seemed to have taken Kate’s advice about keeping an eye on Brooke very seriously if the protective vibe he was throwing off was anything to go by.

  Jackson tracked his look. “This is a family issue, and she deserves to know exactly what’s going on as much as I do. As for the kid, well, he seems like a good enough sort, and I think you’ll need a crowbar to get him away from her.”

  CJ and Tommy exchanged a look. “The information we’re about to share cannot leave this room. I don’t want any of this getting out to the press.”

  “We won’t say anything,” Brooke said tightly. “I just want Tricia to come home.”

  As Jackson absorbed what CJ had found and what it might imply, Tommy unpacked the laptop that never seemed to leave his possession. He quickly pulled up a website that provided maps of the area surrounding the trail and came up with a strategy to conduct the search.

  “Most of the trail runs through open areas,” Tommy said as he traced his mouse over the line on the map. Kate felt a presence next to her and looked over to see that Brooke and Ben had come to get a closer look at the maps on Tommy’s computer screen. “But this area here—it’s about a hundred acres or so—” He circled the cursor around the indicated area. “This is private property.”

  “Will we need a warrant?” Jackson asked.

  Kate shook her head. “Not if we have reason to believe Tricia could be in the vicinity.”

  “And I’m more than happy to put up with a trespassing charge if it means we find Tricia. CJ, you can stay on the other side of the property lines if you’re worried it’ll come back to bite you in the ass later,” Tommy said.

  “We’ll jump off that bridge when we get to it.”

  They agreed to keep the search parties small. Other than Tommy and Jackson, only police officials would be involved in the search. While they wouldn’t be able to cover the area as quickly, the more civilians involved, the higher the risk that the press would somehow get wind of it.

  “I can’t emphasize how important it is to keep this to yourselves,” Kate said, giving both Brooke and Ben meaningful looks. “If this turns out to be the break we hope it is and our suspect finds out, it could be disaster.”

  They both nodded solemnly. “I want to help,” Ben said suddenly. CJ started to shake his head, but Ben continued. “I’ve been out with search parties every day for the last three, and you need all the eyes you can get if you’re not going to call in volunteers.”

  CJ looked like he was going to protest again.

  “He can come with me,” Tommy said.

  CJ shrugged his shoulders as though to say “Suit yourselves.”

  “I want to go too,” Brooke said, her voice shaky.

  “Absolutely not.” Jackson’s voice cracked sharply across the room.

  “Why?” Brooke asked, her eyes shiny with tears. “Do you think I’m going to do something to screw it up again?”

  “No, Jesus.” The fight seemed to drain from him as he walked over to his older daughter. “That’s not it at all,” Jackson said, awkwardly reaching out his hand and letting it drop before touching her. “I’m just afraid… we might find…”

  Kate’s throat tightened, mirroring Brooke’s sob as she nodded in sudden comprehension.

  “I don’t want you to have to see that,” Jackson finished.

  Brooke nodded in horrified silence, and Kate’s heart cracked as Jackson turned back to Tommy without another word.

  As CJ called in all the deputies for a debrief back at the station, Tommy packed up his computer and went out to the truck. He returned shortly with a black equipment bag that he set on the wooden dining table.

  “What is that?” Kate asked as he passed what looked like a set of earbuds to both Jackson and Ben.

  “Communications,” Tommy said shortly. “Your standard tactical communication set.”

  “Can’t you just use the radios?” Kate asked, indicating the handset hooked to CJ’s belt.

  CJ’s boots thudded on the wood floor as he walked over. “Usually, but we can’t completely secure the frequency, and we wouldn’t want anyone picking this up on the scanner.”

  “You need extras?” Tommy asked.

  CJ shook his head. “Thanks, but after I was able to show the bean counters in the capital that the meth kings could monitor our surveillance operations with a scanner, I got them to kick down for better equipment.”

  Tommy gave a grunt and a nod of approval, and Kate listened as they discussed exchanging frequencies followed by a lot of technical stuff she didn’t understand.

  Tommy turned to her and held out a set and reached for her ear. Kate held still, forcing herself not to lean into him as he placed the earpiece in her right ear.

  “How’s that?” Tommy asked, and Kate shivered at the feel of his warm breath skidding across her cheek.

  “Fine,” she said, and risked a look up to meet his gaze. Big mistake, as the dark fire in his eyes told her he was just as affected by her nearness as she was. Her tongue flicked out to moisten suddenly dry lips as she tried to keep her knees from turning to water.

  His eyes locked on her mouth, and he leaned a millimeter closer before he stepped away. But not before his fingers trailed down her neck, underneath her hair in a secret caress that promised all kinds of wickedness when the time was right. “You should be able to hear everything through that.”

  “What about my mike?”

  “You won’t need one since you won’t be out there with us.”

  “No, I want to be out there. I need to help—”

  “It could take us hours, and we’re covering potentially eighty square miles. No way in hell you’re up to that.”

  As much as she wanted to protest, the ache in her ribs and hip told Kate otherwise. She was maintaining, all right, but she could feel her pain levels creeping up even in the brief time she’d spent on her feet.

  “Not only that,” Tommy said before Kate could concede, “someone should stay here with her,” indicating his chin in the direction of Brooke, who was curled up on the end of the couch with her knees pulled tightly to her chest. “I think she needs someone who can understand what she’s going through.”

  Kate nodded and stood by as Tommy made sure all of the communications equipment was working. Then he pulled out four handheld devices and handed one to all the men, including CJ.

  “Now this we don’t have back at the station,” CJ said appreciatively.

  “What is it?” Ben asked, turning his up and over in his hand, pushing buttons at random, jumping when the machine let out a shrill beep.

  “It’s a thermal imager,” Tommy said as he swiped it from Ben’s grasp and pressed a button to
silence the machine. “They’re less useful when it’s light out, but since nothing came up in that area in the previous foot searches and flyovers, I figured it could help us find a structure or something underground that was missed.”

  They all gathered eagerly around Tommy as he went over the features of the state-of-the-art gadget. Boys and their toys, Kate thought with a little grin.

  Kate followed them to the door, her heart in her throat, a knot in her stomach that was equal parts anticipation and dread. After nearly five endless days, they might have a real chance of finding Tricia.

  The question was, what condition would she be in?

  “I don’t like leaving you here alone,” Tommy said grimly as he gave his equipment one last check.

  “We’ll be fine,” Kate said, but that didn’t stop the ripple of unease from skittering down her spine. “No one knows I’m here except you. Even if someone wanted to hurt me, he couldn’t find me.”

  Tommy curved his hand around her neck and leaned close. “Lock the door and set the alarm. Don’t open the door to anyone but me, CJ, or Jackson.”

  Kate nodded and Tommy started out the door.

  Brooke’s voice stopped him short before he closed it. “Wait,” she said, and rose from the couch. “Can I have one of those ear things too?” Crossing her arms around her waist, she walked slowly to him. “I need to know what’s happening. I need to know if—” She bit her bottom lip rather than finish the thought.

  “Of course,” Tommy said with a sad smile that transformed his harsh features. Kate watched, a pinching sensation in her chest as Tommy patiently helped the girl insert the earpiece. When he was done, he pulled Brooke in for a brotherly hug and told her what she desperately needed to hear. “Don’t you worry. We’re going to get your sister back.”

  Whether she believed him or not, Brooke nodded and gave him a wobbly smile. “And you need to understand,” he added, “none of this is your fault. You didn’t do this to your sister.”

  Tommy looked up over Brooke’s head and met Kate’s stare, and the look in his eyes demolished any last barrier she might have tried to keep between them.

  They agreed that Tommy, Jackson, Ben, and two of CJ’s deputies would start out in the area on the east side of the trail, where CJ had initially found the jar. They fanned out, each covering his own quadrant of the map, giving each other regular updates on their position.

  CJ and his team searched through the woods on the other side of the trail.

  It was tedious work, as they moved slowly, carefully through the brushy terrain, eyes peeled for any sign that anyone was there or had been there in the last five days. One hour passed, then two, and the men were drenched in sweat from the afternoon heat.

  Suddenly, one of the deputies in CJ’s party began chattering excitedly. “I think I see something—it looks like clothes.”

  Tommy froze, listening, willing all the other men to shut the fuck up so he could hear what was going on three miles away.

  “Everyone, shut the hell up so Roberts can give us a sit rep.” CJ’s voice crackled into his earpiece. It went dead quiet, then someone—Deputy Roberts, Tommy assumed—began to speak.

  “I’ve found what appears to be a shirt, dark red.”

  Tommy heard a sharp gasp and figured it was Jackson. Tommy’s own stomach rolled over. Tricia had been wearing a red tank top the night she disappeared.

  “Oh, shit,” Roberts said.

  Tommy felt his blood rush from his head to his feet at the man’s grim tone. “What?” he said, bracing himself for what was to come.

  “It’s got Lightning McQueen on it,” Roberts said irritably.

  “Lightning Mc-what?” Tommy sputtered.

  “It’s from the kid’s movie,” CJ broke in wearily. “I think what Roberts is saying is that unless Tricia has a thing for cartoon cars, the shirt doesn’t belong to her.”

  “And since it’s a size…” There was a pause, no doubt Roberts searching for the tag. “Five T, I’d say it’s too small to belong to our suspect.”

  Tommy felt himself deflate after the adrenaline rush. “Let’s keep moving, guys.” As he continued to move, slowly but surely deeper into the woods, he tried to chase away the growing worry that they could search behind every tree trunk and under every boulder in the forest, and they still weren’t going to find Tricia.

  Brooke had been pacing the great room, brushing off all of Kate’s attempts to engage in conversation until Roberts’s voice crackled excitedly in their ears. Then she’d stood stock still, her face a mask of mingled hope and fear as he described finding the red shirt.

  Kate moved closer to her, unconsciously reaching out to grab the girl’s tense, cold hand. Then, as it was revealed that the shirt most likely belonged to a preschooler, Brooke simply crumpled to the floor like all of her bones had turned to rubber.

  She buried her face in her hands and sobbed. “They’re never going to find her. They’re never going to find her. And it’s all my fault.”

  Kate sank to the floor next to her and wrapped her arm around her shoulders. “It’s not true. It’s not your fault.”

  “Yes it is.” Brooke’s head reared back, her face blotchy with tears, her face a mask of pain and guilt. “You don’t get it. My mom, before she died, she told me I had to look after Tricia.”

  Kate’s own eyes stung with tears as she remembered a similar admonishment the night Michael died. “Your brother may think he can take care of himself, but he’s still only twelve,” her father had said sternly. “We’re counting on you to look after him.” Not as dramatic as a deathbed request, but still… Shame at how casually she’d dismissed him burned through her like acid.

  “I know, I know exactly what you’re going through.”

  “Bullshit,” Brooke said. She pulled away and scrambled to her feet. “I sent my sister home alone in the middle of the night and she never made it home just so I could be with a guy. And now my dad totally hates me for it and I can’t even blame him. I seriously doubt you know exactly what I’m going through.”

  “You know my background, right? Why I got involved with St. Anthony’s?”

  Brooke shrugged. “Something about your brother, right? He was taken and—” She paused, swallowed hard.

  “Killed,” Kate finished for her. “He was taken from the house we were renting, sexually assaulted, and murdered.”

  Brooke didn’t speak, just stared at Kate in morbid fascination.

  “But if you go back and read the news stories, you’ll see that I was the only one in the house with him that night. My parents were out of town, my sister was at a friend’s house, and I was supposed to look after Michael. But instead of staying in the house and keeping an eye on him, I was too busy making out with Tommy Ibarra to care.”

  Brooke’s eyes flew wide. “As in—”

  Kate gave a rueful smile.

  Brooke gave her a skeptical look. “You’re so nice and he’s so… scary.”

  Kate shook her head. “He wasn’t always as”—she searched for the right word—“intimidating as he is now. When we were younger he was…” Again, words eluded her. Nice was too tepid, sweet too, well, sweet. “He was pretty awesome.” Then, reflecting on the last couple of days, she added, “He’s still pretty awesome.” She shook her head and tried to wipe what she was pretty sure was a dopey, dreamy look off her face. “Anyway, the point is, I know what you’re going through. I completely understand how you feel.”

  Brooke nodded and swallowed hard, her big dark eyes bright with tears. This time when Kate pulled her close, she didn’t pull away.

  Kate held her, Brooke’s body heaving with sobs as she buried her head against Kate’s shoulder. “I just keep thinking of what I said to her when I told her to leave the party. I told her she was an annoying pain in the ass. I can’t stop thinking those were the last words she ever heard from me. That she was scared and hurt and maybe dying, and she died thinking I didn’t even care about her.”

  “She doesn�
�t think that. Sisters fight all the time. She knows you love her.”

  Brooke shook her head. “No, she doesn’t. She’s probably dead already. Everyone knows it but no one wants to say it out loud.”

  Kate’s mouth pressed in a grim line. “We can’t give up hope—”

  Brooke pushed away and started to pace, her agitation building as the minutes passed and there was still no progress from the search team. “What if there is no hope? What if she’s dead?” She stopped suddenly, sank to the floor, and buried her face in her hands. “What if she’s dead? What will I do?”

  Kate wished she could feed her some line about how the pain would ease, how the guilt would fade, and eventually she’d be able to focus on the happy memories she and her sister shared together. But she didn’t have it in her to lie. “You’ll hurt,” she said simply. “A lot. For the rest of your life. But if you’re lucky, you and your dad will pull together and help each other get through it.”

  “My father,” Brooke said, shaking her head. She suddenly looked beyond weary, and much older than seventeen years. “He’ll never forgive me.”

  Kate wished she could contradict her with conviction. “He shouldn’t have to. It wasn’t your fault.”

  “Did you believe people when they tried to tell you that?”

  Kate smiled sadly. “No. But then again, it was hard to hear them when so many other people told me that it was.”

  Brooke cocked her head and looked about to speak, but whatever she was going to say was lost as Tommy’s voice crackled in over the earpieces. “I’ve found something. A structure of some kind. We’re heading in.”

  Chapter 23

  It was Ben Kortlang who spotted the tiny scrap of material clinging to a wild rose bush. After years of hunting with his father and uncles, like Tommy, Ben’s eye was trained to look for signs of his prey. A footprint, a broken branch, a tuft of hair.

  Or a scrap of red cotton, no more than an inch square. “Over here,” he called Tommy. “You see that?”