by Jami Alden
He told himself not to go there but it was too late. He was buffeted by visions of her in his bed, naked against him, clutching him to her as her body pulsed around him, moaning his name as she came. Then later, the whispers in the dark. Promises to each other about a future smashed to smithereens by one nosy reporter and his careless slip of the tongue.
He paced around his office, edgy and restless like his skin had somehow shrunk a size. For the first time since he moved in, his house didn’t feel like a sanctuary. In the brief time she’d spent here, Kate had managed to mark it with her presence. To the point where every time Tommy turned around, he felt a stab of disappointment that she wasn’t there.
He was being an idiot, he knew. You need to stop acting like a sappy loser and get the fuck back to work, he scolded himself.
An hour later when he hadn’t made any more progress, he knew it was a lost cause. Deciding a change of venue was in order, he drove back to the sheriff’s headquarters. Stone-faced, he pushed through the handful of reporters out front who perked up when they recognized the male half of Kate’s latest sex scandal and joined CJ in his office without waiting for an invite.
“I’m working through the bank records for Tavers International,” Tommy said when CJ greeted his entry with a questioning look. “Figure this way I can tell you right away if I hit on anything,” he added lamely. But he sure as shit wasn’t going to tell CJ that he couldn’t stand to be in his own house after what had happened.
But CJ probably figured it out a couple hours later when he announced he was closing up shop to head home.
“It’s only seven thirty,” Tommy protested.
“And Travis’s babysitter has to leave by seven forty-five, which gives me just enough time,” CJ said, settling his hat on his head as he rose. “You’ll call me as soon as you come across anything?”
“Of course,” Tommy said, closing his laptop, pausing a moment as he went through the options of where to go next.
Normally he’d grab a table in the corner at his favorite dive and nurse a beer while he conducted his cyberhunt. But since he’d become headline news, anyplace public was out.
He didn’t even consider his parents’ place. His mom had already left half a dozen voicemails since the news broke, and he wasn’t up to spending the next several hours fending off questions about Kate.
Jackson’s house came to mind, but he immediately dismissed it. While Jackson would welcome him with open arms and be eager to learn all the details of the searches Tommy was conducting, he wouldn’t feel right imposing. Tricia had just been released from the hospital earlier that afternoon, and they needed time to be together.
As though reading his mind, CJ said, “Why don’t you join us for dinner?”
Tommy shook his head. “I couldn’t—”
“I’ll throw a couple steaks on the grill and we can compare notes.”
Feeling equal parts pathetic and grateful, Tommy aimed his truck at the bumper of CJ’s cruiser and followed the sheriff to his home a few miles up the lakeshore to a house that was a few streets down from Jackson’s rental.
And less than a mile from the house Kate’s family had rented every summer, but he wasn’t going to dwell on that tonight.
Tommy had been to CJ’s house several times in high school and the beginning of college, when he’d run in the same crowd as CJ’s older sister, Kelly. But though he and CJ were friendly, he hadn’t been to the house since CJ moved back to town.
It looked much the same, though CJ had added a couple touches like a flat-screen that took up most of one wall in the living room.
While CJ cooked up the promised steaks, Tommy sipped a beer and made small talk with Travis, CJ’s nephew. Travis pointed interestedly at the tattoo peeking out from the sleeve of Tommy’s black T-shirt. “Were you in the Marines too?” At eleven, the kid was all dark hair and skinny limbs. Tommy imagined that when he grew up, he’d look an awful lot like his uncle.
“Marines?” Tommy scoffed, loud enough for CJ to hear. “Marines are for pu—” He caught himself just in time. “Weaklings. I was an Army Ranger.”
CJ flipped a steak and said, “Which means he came in and took the credit after we got the enemy to retreat.”
With Travis and CJ’s mom around, there wasn’t much opportunity to discuss the case. Not that they would have been able to get a word in edgewise as Travis peppered him with questions about his time in the Army, comparing it to CJ’s time in the Marines.
“He was in for a lot longer than you,” Travis said to CJ. “I think that makes him tougher than you.” There was no missing the taunting grin on the kid’s face.
“Or a lot dumber than me,” Tommy said, reaching out and rubbing his hair.
For a split second another kid, another shit-eating grin came to mind. Michael, the night he was kidnapped, torturing Kate with his presence when he knew very well she wanted to be alone with Tommy.
Tommy cleared the table while CJ negotiated TV privileges with Travis. He wandered out on the deck and braced his hands on the railing as he stared out over the water and tried not to think about what Kate was doing at that moment.
He turned at the sound of heavy footsteps and took the beer CJ offered. “You’ve got a lot on your plate here.”
CJ gave a heavy sigh. “Travis is a good kid, so he makes it easier on me…” He shook his head. “One minute I’m single, kicking ass at the Bureau, so close to my next promotion I can smell it, and the next…” He took a sip of his beer. “Amazing how fast everything can change.”
Didn’t Tommy know it. “You find anything more this afternoon?” While Tommy had been drilling his way into confidential banking information, CJ had been on the phone trying to gather more information about the Bludgeoner’s previous victims.
CJ shook his head. “It’s going to take awhile to pull the rest of the files and talk to everyone who worked the case. Hopefully someone will remember something that didn’t end up in the file.”
“What about the necklace, the connection to Michael Beckett’s murder? Maybe there’s something from that crime scene that was overlooked.”
CJ nodded. “I’ve already got calls in to the lead crime scene analyst and the medical examiner who did the autopsies.” He let out a frustrated sigh. “But since everyone worked the scene like it was a suicide, it’s likely anything useful would have been lost in the shuffle. I just hope for Kate and her family’s sake—” CJ was interrupted by the buzzing of his phone. “Speak of the devil. Hey, Kate,” he said, flashing Tommy a look.
Tommy forced himself to the other end of the deck when every cell in his body urged him to lean in so he could catch the mere sound of her voice.
“No, nothing substantial,” he heard CJ say.
His fingers curled into a fist as he fought the urge to grab the phone out of CJ’s hand. To say what? he sneered inwardly. To beg her to listen to him? To give them another chance?
“You want to talk to him yourself? He’s right here.”
The muscles of his chest and back pulled tight as a bow as he waited for the answer. Even knowing what it would be couldn’t stop the wave of disappointment from crashing over him when he heard CJ say, “Fine. I’ll keep you posted as soon as we hear anything.” He said goodbye and hung up.
“She okay?” Tommy couldn’t keep himself from asking.
CJ shrugged. “I’d say she’s doing all right, considering she’s discovered a potential new twist to her brother’s case, found herself starring in a media circus, and lost her job all in the space of one day.”
“She got fired from the foundation?” Tommy asked, guilt pinching at his chest. Maybe she was right. Maybe he was the cosmic force of doom in her life.
“Yeah—I forgot to tell you. The chairman of the board called her when I was giving her a ride home. Told her the board didn’t think it was appropriate for her to have such a public role.” CJ shook his head, his lips stretched into a mirthless smile. “Asshole had the nerve to ask her to make sure
her family kept up their donations.”
Tommy winced. Once again Kate was left alone to weather the storm herself. The desire to go to her was like a physical ache. He should be there for her.
The only thing stopping him was the bitter knowledge that no matter how badly he wanted to help her, he was the last person on earth she wanted to see.
A soft voice wheedled its way through his own pain at her rejection. Remember what she said about pushing people away? The whole time all she wanted was for someone to ignore all that and just be there for her.
He knew Kate wouldn’t exactly greet him with open arms. But the slim chance that he could push past her defenses and convince her that they could weather this storm better together than apart had him poised to heed that soft voice.
CJ’s next words stopped him cold.
“She’ll be all right, though. John is coming to get her and take her back to his place so she can get away from the reporters.”
Chump. Tommy’s grip around his beer bottle tightened until his knuckles shone white but he schooled his face into an expressionless mask. “Nice of him.” Kate had said John was one of the few who had had her back when Michael died. Now he could sweep in and be her knight in shining armor all over again.
CJ gave a little chuckle. “I don’t know that nice has much to do with it. I guarantee he’ll be trying to get in her pants as soon as he gets her in the door.”
Tommy took a deep breath through clenched teeth.
“Not that I can blame him,” CJ continued. “She was something to look at back when we knew her, with those long legs and that mouth of hers. But now I swear she’s only gotten more beautiful—”
“Are you trying to get punched?” Tommy grabbed CJ by the front of his shirt. And immediately regretted it when he saw CJ’s smug, knowing grin. He released CJ’s shirt and gave him a shove against his chest for good measure.
“I’m just trying to get you to admit that it bothers you that she’s turning to someone else when you know she should be with you.”
“What the hell am I supposed to do?” Tommy exploded. “You heard what she said.”
“She’d just been blindsided by the reporters. She wasn’t thinking clearly—”
Tommy held up his hand for silence. “Moments like that are when the truth comes out. Deep down Kate will never get over the fact that she was with me the night Michael was killed. Better to find that out now than before I get in too deep.”
“I think you’ve been in too deep the second Kate walked into Jackson Fuller’s place,” CJ said, his expression grave.
Tommy repressed a flinch as the truth of CJ’s words hit home. Not that there was anything he could do about it. “You know what I think? I think it’s time for us to get the fuck back to work.”
Chapter 28
Are you sure I’m not imposing?” Kate asked as she followed John up the stairs from the stretch of beach that abutted his property.
“Of course not. You know I have plenty of room, and now the reporters can’t get to you.”
Kate felt no small amount of relief at the thought. The past few hours at her townhouse had been torture. Unable to go anywhere because of the dozen or so reporters crowded outside of her door, Kate had been bouncing off the walls while she waited for CJ to call with news.
Of course, it didn’t help to be alone with thoughts of Tommy swirling around in her head. The taste of him on her lips, the feel of him deep inside her. The way he talked about a future together like it was a real possibility.
And then the devastation in his eyes when she lashed out.
Part of her hated herself for the way she’d acted, for her knee-jerk reaction to shove Tommy away as the press took something real and beautiful and turned it into a lurid sideshow for the world to criticize and judge.
CJ’s words rang in her ears, telling her she was being a fool for allowing her worries about the media’s portrayal of her relationship with Tommy to keep her from grabbing this second chance with him and doing everything she could to make it work. And to hell with how that bitch Maura Walsh decided to twist it.
When Tommy called, her heart had leapt to her throat when she recognized the number. Heart pounding, she stared at the phone cradled in her hand, every cell in her body urging her to pick up. To apologize for what she said and take it all back.
But as she went to press the “answer” button, there was a sharp tap on the window next to her kitchen, and she looked up to see the shadow of a man silhouetted in the window, a video camera pointed right at her.
She dropped the phone like it was on fire, darted across the room to yank the curtains shut, then went through the rest of the house to make sure every blind was drawn.
She cursed herself for a coward, but she couldn’t make herself pick up the phone and call Tommy back.
Instead she curled on her couch, tuned the TV to a movie channel that guaranteed she wouldn’t be assaulted with images of herself, and wondered how long she could stay holed up in the townhouse before she went completely insane.
Fortunately, she didn’t have to wait and see. She didn’t pick up the phone the first time he called, cringing at the thought of him seeing the news stories. She braced herself as she listened to his message, but instead of sounding scandalized or judgmental, John’s voice tone was purely sympathetic.
Hey, I saw the news and wanted you to know that I’m here for you a hundred percent. If you need anything, don’t hesitate to call.
Touched, Kate called him back, figuring he deserved a thank-you if nothing else. When he offered for her to come stay with him, initially she’d refused. “There’s a swarm of reporters at my front door,” she said. “And no offense, but the last thing I need right now is for them to put out a story of me spending the night at yet another man’s house.”
John chuckled. “I see your point. But what if I could sneak you out without them seeing?”
So they’d hatched a plan for Kate to sneak through the sliding glass door that was one level down from the main entrance on the side of the house that faced the lake. From there it was a short walk down to a spot on the beach where John could pick her up in his boat.
Kate didn’t realize how trapped she’d felt in the townhouse until John started motoring to his dock. With the cool evening air on her cheeks and pulling her hair from its ponytail, she felt like she was able to take her first deep breath since she’d left Erin’s restaurant that afternoon.
After she’d deposited her overnight bag in one of the many bedrooms, Kate joined John on the deck, where he waited with a glass of wine and a platter of sandwich fixings. “I wasn’t sure if you’d had dinner yet,” John said, gesturing to the platter. “Magda’s off for the evening, and I’m afraid sandwiches are about the extent of my culinary capabilities.”
Kate couldn’t remember the last time she’d eaten, but the thought of food made her stomach twist with revulsion. “I’m not hungry, but thanks.” She took the proffered glass of wine and nearly vomited up the first sip of Pinot Grigio the second it hit her stomach.
She settled in one of the teak armchairs and set the glass on the table beside her.
“You should drink that,” John said, settling into the chair next to her. “You deserve a little something after what happened today.”
She thought she detected an edge to his voice but couldn’t be sure. “I don’t think my stomach is up to much of anything right now. It’s been crazy—first Tricia and then—” She stopped herself, realizing she was about to slip the news of the necklace. “And then this thing in the press…” She trailed off weakly.
“Is it true?” This time there was no mistaking the edge in his voice. “Have you and Tommy rekindled your little romance?”
Kate’s shoulders stiffened at his snide tone. “Maybe it wasn’t a good idea for me to come here,” she said, and started to push to her feet.
John stayed her with a hand on her arm. “I’m sorry,” he said. “That was rude of me. But just because I
accepted that whatever torch I’ve been carrying for you will never go anywhere, that doesn’t mean I don’t get a little jealous, thinking of you with him.”
Kate tried not to notice the way his hand lingered on the bare skin of her forearm or the way his thumb was tracing slow circles on the skin of her wrist.
To her relief, he dropped his hand. “Let’s talk about something else,” he said, and took a sip of wine. “Is there any progress in the case? Do I need to get my checkbook out?”
She gave him a wan smile. “Good news is, Tricia is out of the woods, health wise.”
“Has she given them a description of the guy who took her?”
Kate hesitated before answering. While she trusted John, she knew too well how harmful a seemingly small confidence could be. “Right now they’re focused on getting her strength up before they start hammering her with questions.”
“Hopefully she’ll give the police something soon. I imagine whoever did this is busy covering his tracks.”
Kate’s stomach churned at the thought of whoever did this to Tricia—and possibly killed those other girls and maybe even Michael too—slipping through their fingers.
The stress of the day bore down on her, the weight of her crumbling world threatening to crush her. “I really appreciate you giving me a break from the craziness outside my front door. But I’m afraid I’m really terrible company tonight. I really think I should just call it a night.”
She was grateful when John didn’t protest or act offended even though it wasn’t yet nine o’clock. “Get some rest. I suspect you’ll need all your reserves to get through the next few days.”
Kate bid him good night and retreated to her room. The day had taken its toll both physically and emotionally, but every time she closed her eyes, her mind started racing with questions that had no answers.
Eventually the questions stopped, but still she could find no rest. Because even worse than the endless questions was what replaced them: Tommy.
