Dad smiled at her, but it had a note of falseness to it. “Nothing for you to worry about, Jordan. You just enjoy your last semester of high school. You’ll be at Yale before you know it, and classes there will be a lot tougher than they are at Oates.”
“Okay, Dad.” She hated lying to him. She wasn’t going to enjoy her last semester. She wasn’t even going to finish it. She wouldn’t graduate, and she’d never go to Yale.
“Baby, you’re crying. I’m going to have Patricia make that appointment this afternoon.”
She wanted to leave the table, but hunger won out. Taking another bite of the sandwich, she wished all over again that Kristen Ahrens hadn’t seen her in London. It was all hard enough, dying, becoming Mephisto, learning that the guy she was supposed to fall in love with sympathized with a monster; but now, being forced to lie to the man she loved most in the whole world, knowing she’d have to lie to all her friends, including Matthew—she couldn’t remember ever being this miserable. And there wasn’t anything she could do about it.
So she ate her sandwich and cried, because she couldn’t help it.
After a snowy night on Kyanos, hunger forced Key to leave. But he didn’t go home. Instead, he transported to England, to Yorkshire and the tiny hamlet close to where they used to live on the moors. The Pig Whistle pub was still there, and he walked into the dark interior to take a seat in the corner. A pretty girl came to take his order and never batted an eye when he asked for half the menu, along with two pints. While he ate, he stared at the only other patron, an elderly gentleman who wore a felt hat and smoked a pipe, just below the NO SMOKING sign.
The girl returned to collect Key’s dishes and kept glancing at him from beneath her lashes. Even in the wilds of Yorkshire, here was a girl who wanted to flirt with danger. In his current mood, sex would be incredible, the very best release of his rage.
She was blonde, with blue eyes and a nicely shaped body. She was obviously willing. But she had one strike against her, and it overrode all the positives: she wasn’t Jordan. He couldn’t believe it, but he really, truly wasn’t interested.
He gave her a credit card because all he had was American money, and she peered down at his name. “Kiros. That’s a funny name.”
“It’s Kyros, with a long e sound, like Key.”
“Is it Greek?”
“Yes.” He looked away from her so she’d understand he wasn’t interested, then glanced back again when she walked away. Was he going to spend the rest of eternity without sex?
He watched her talk to the guy behind the bar and almost wished he’d feel something, anything, remotely sexual, but none of his usual thoughts about pretty girls came to him.
Great. He was going to be a damned eunuch, just like Phoenix. How could this be happening to him?
Why did Jordan have to be so judgmental? She had no brothers, no sisters, no blood relations that she knew about, so it was natural that she didn’t get how he felt about Eryx, but how could she turn her back on Key without even trying to understand? She was supposed to be an accepting, sympathetic soul. She was Anabo.
And Mephisto. He sighed and stared down into his glass. He’d seen her birthmark on the plane, and it was almost completely changed. She was close to fully Mephisto, and while her Anabo side was still there, wholly intact, the Mephisto in her wouldn’t allow an inch of understanding when it came to Eryx. He was her enemy, someone she was supposed to destroy because of the instinct given to her through Mephisto, which she had because of Key. The irony was epic.
Blaming her inability to understand—hell, her refusal even to try—on the Mephisto in her kind of made him feel better. He was Mephisto, and he had the same instinct to annihilate Eryx, except his memories of his love for his brother always screwed with his head. He wanted to hate Eryx but couldn’t, and it was a worse burden than being a son of Hell. It was torture.
After leaving the waitress a one hundred percent tip, he walked out, stepped around the building and into an alley with old cabbage crates, then disappeared and took himself back home.
It was midafternoon in Colorado, and Mercy was in his closet, hanging up new clothes she’d probably spent all morning buying. “Key, there you are!” She started showing him what she’d bought, but he didn’t pay close attention. He had no intention of wearing any of it. Not now. He’d go to her school as himself, and if she didn’t like it, he didn’t give a damn.
“What’s wrong?” Mercy asked, her face falling. “Do you hate all of it?”
“No, it’s fine. I’m tired now, Mercy.”
She backed out of his closet, looking wounded, but he didn’t feel like making nice.
He stripped out of his clothes and took a shower, then dressed again and popped downstairs to his office. Reilly was there, working on the computer, a stack of bills next to her. She was their newest Purgatory, a seventeen-year-old girl who’d been murdered by a lost soul just over a year ago. She hated Eryx like everyone else hated Eryx. She glanced up when he appeared, then looked back at the computer. He didn’t miss the look in her eyes. They must all think he was bat-shit crazy after what he’d done to the greenhouse. Maybe he was bat-shit crazy.
Taking a seat at his desk, he leafed through a stack of bank statements without really seeing them. He ordinarily didn’t mind taking care of the Mephisto money, but he was way too restless to do this right now. “I’m going to be back and forth between here and Washington for the next month. Check the investments every day, and if anything takes a dive, call me.”
“Okay.” She continued clicking keys.
Looking at her long, auburn hair, he remembered she was supposedly a favorite at Telluride High, involved in everything, a natural leader. She’d had a very bright future ahead of her, until a kid who’d handed his soul to Eryx shoved her over a cliff, all because Reilly wouldn’t go out with him. That was the thing about the lost souls—they always felt entitled. What Sasha called “special snowflakes.” He wasn’t sure if it was because they no longer had command of their spirits, or simply that they bought into Eryx’s hyperbole. “Any suggestions for me, Reilly?”
Still clacking away, she said, “Just be yourself. Isn’t Brody going with you?”
“Yes. We’re doing the same thing he and Jax did at Telluride, posing as fraternal twins.”
“Good. He’s a total geek, but he’s a Lumina and everyone will love him, which means they’ll tolerate you.” She stopped clicking and glanced over her shoulder at him. “You’ve changed enough; maybe no one will pee themselves when you walk down the hall.”
Had he changed? He didn’t feel different, but Jax had told him, the night Jordan came to the mountain, that as much as she would change because of Mephisto, Key would change because of Anabo. “It’s not like you’ll be Mr. Sunshine,” his brother had said, “but you’ll see things a little differently than before, and people won’t be as afraid of you.”
Key stood and rounded the desk, headed for the door, thinking he’d find Jax and ask him what he should do about Jordan. He couldn’t tell him the reason she had turned her back on him, but maybe Jax could give him some ideas of things to do that would make her change her mind. He didn’t know details of what had happened between Jax and Sasha, but his brother clearly had done something right. Sasha was crazy in love with him. “Remember,” he said to Reilly, “call me if you need me.”
“Sure thing, Key. Good luck at school.” She laughed. “I’d give anything to be there.”
Seeing Tessa was almost as wonderful as it had been to see Dad. She came over that afternoon, not long after Jordan arrived back in Washington, and after many hugs and lots of tears, they wound up in the living room on the couch, with Love Actually on the DVD. Not that they watched it. They’d seen it so many times, it wasn’t necessary actually to watch.
“It’s stupid news, considering what you’ve been through,” Tessa said, “but Cory and I broke up.”
Watching her friend braid her long, blonde hair, then undo it and start over, Jord
an smiled. “It’s stupid news only because you and Cory break up once a month. You’ll be going out with him again by Friday.”
“Not this time, Jordan.” Tessa frowned. “He cheated on me with Tori.”
“No way!”
“Oh, big way. Rick Durgin had a New Year’s party, and I didn’t go because I was too upset about you, but Cory went, and Megan said she walked in on him and Tori.”
“Oh, man, Tess, I’m so sorry.”
Her friend shrugged. “Honestly, I was kind of tired of his whining anyway. I’m not all that upset. And after what happened to you and Matthew, this just doesn’t seem very important.”
The mention of Matthew sent her mood due south.
Tessa dropped her braid. “Maybe we shouldn’t talk about it.”
“It’s all right.”
“I wanted to go see him, but my dad said since he’s in ICU, only family is allowed.”
“He may like it that way.”
“Yeah, maybe so, but I bet he wishes he could see you, at least.”
Jordan shook her head. “I texted him a few times, and he never replied. I called, and the hospital put the call through, but his mom said he was sleeping.”
Tessa’s green eyes were wide with surprise. “You think he’s avoiding you?”
“It seems that way.”
“That just makes this even more sad. You two were always so close, almost as much best friends as boyfriend and girlfriend.” Tessa shook her head and looked at the TV. “Maybe he’s afraid you’ll not like him anymore because he’s paralyzed.”
“He knows me too well to think I’d care. I think he just needs some time to accept what happened.”
“Do you think he’ll come back to school?”
“I hope so, because he has a lot of friends, and being there might make him feel better.”
“Or worse. He’s a guy, and being in a wheelchair is a huge blow to his manhood. He might resent that all his buddies are walking around while he’s stuck in a chair.”
“But he’s alive. I’m hoping he’ll realize life can go on, and he’ll be able to do a lot, even in a wheelchair.”
Tessa let go of her braid and fell back against the sofa cushions. “What about you, Jordan? You aren’t injured, but what happened has got to have messed with your mind. I’m worried about you.”
“I’m okay. Dad’s insisting I see a shrink, someone who works with vets, for PTSD, so we’ll see how messed up I am.” She saw Tessa’s look and smiled at her. “Hey, don’t worry so much.”
Tessa started to cry. “I feel so guilty.”
“Why would what happened to me make you feel guilty?”
“You can’t imagine what it was like, seeing the news after those guys were arrested in London and they told the cops they’d dropped you in the ocean. I barely slept for two nights, because every time I went to sleep, I’d have a nightmare about you … in the ocean.”
Tessa pushed the tears from her cheeks and gave Jordan a quivering smile. “When they found you in London, I was so happy, but I kept wondering what they’d done to you, and I was sure you’d be different, and we wouldn’t be as close as we’ve always been. And I realized, I was totally looking at this like it was all about me, but you’re the one who was kidnapped. You’re the one who was there when Matthew was shot.” She leaned over and slid her arms around Jordan. “I am so sorry this happened to you, Jo. I love you so much, and you’re the best friend I’ve ever had.”
Jordan hugged Tessa and couldn’t speak around the lump in her throat. She hated knowing she would cause her friend so much pain a month from now, when the Mephisto faked her death so she could return to Colorado.
She swallowed hard and managed to whisper, “I love you, too, Tess.”
“Girls are completely different than guys,” Jax said, just before he went for a layup.
From where he leaned against the side wall of the gym, Key said, “Yeah, I kinda figured that out, oh, I don’t know, over a thousand years ago.”
Dribbling the ball, Jax came closer. “I’m not talking about their lady parts, smart-ass.” He pointed to his head. “Up here, they process certain things a little differently than we do. And they say one thing but mean something else. Like, if Sasha says, ‘Hey, Jax, whatdya think about popping over to San Francisco for Chinese?’ what she really means is, ‘I’m feeling nostalgic and I want to see the house where I grew up with my father, who I loved.’ ” He dribbled away and went for another layup.
“If that’s what she wants, why doesn’t she just say that?”
“Because she knows I don’t like to take her there. It’s all real sweet until she starts thinking about his murder. That makes her think about her mom becoming a lost soul, and having to take her out, and instead of a happy trip down memory lane, she’s depressed for three days. I know that’s how it’ll be, and I’m bound to argue against taking her, so she’s figured out not to ask me directly.”
Key started to ask why Sasha didn’t just go by herself, if Jax was so opposed to her going, but realized almost at the same time that she wouldn’t want to go alone. He also realized this was an insight he wouldn’t have had a week ago. He must be changing, at least a little. “If it upsets her, why does she want to go?”
Jax dribbled to the free throw line and stopped. “She grieves, Key. It’s no different than the Luminas, who sometimes take years to finally let go of their mortal lives. It’s longer and longer between the times she wants to go to San Francisco, and there’ll come a day when she doesn’t want to go back at all, but until then, she’s going to ask me to go for Chinese, and I’m going to know why.” His shot whooshed through the net without touching the rim. He went for the ball and dribbled it back to Key. “Girls are also into drama. They get hyperemotional about something and tell you things they are entirely sure they mean, except they don’t. What’s an absolute today will sometimes become a maybe by tomorrow.”
That was promising. “Like for example?”
“Remember when Sasha asked you if she could take an art class?”
Key nodded.
Jax stopped bouncing the ball and tucked it under his arm. “A couple of days later, I asked her if she was upset that you said no. She said she wasn’t, but I couldn’t leave it alone, and she said it was almost like I wanted her to be unhappy that she’s stuck on this mountain forever. I was annoying the hell out of her, so she went off on me, said she’d just go ahead and move up to the third floor and I could sleep by myself and then we’d both be unhappy. The whole thing was ridiculous, and of course she didn’t move upstairs, but I thought for a minute that she might. Which was the point. It freaked me out enough that I finally let it go.”
“So she never intended to move upstairs? She faked you out?”
“No, that’s what I’m trying to tell you. She was absolutely sure she would, until she wasn’t. I think they’re all like that, Kyros.”
Maybe they were all like that, but Key couldn’t see that his situation was the same. How he felt about Eryx was in a whole different category than Jax’s insecurities about Sasha. Maybe she got aggravated at him, but she loved him.
Jordan wasn’t just annoyed with Key. She saw this thing about Eryx as a game changer.
“Are you going to tell me why she said no way?”
He dropped his gaze from the windows at the top of the gym wall and shook his head. “It doesn’t matter, Jax. She’s made up her mind.”
“Key, have you been listening? Nothing they say is written in stone. Everything is negotiable. Don’t you remember what Sasha said about us, about me? It wasn’t no, but hell no, and buddy bar the door.”
“Yeah, but then you were kissing her every five minutes, and she let you, so I don’t think she really meant it.”
“Oh, she meant it.”
“Then what changed her mind?”
Jax began dribbling the ball again. “That run-in she had with the lost souls from her school pissed her off so much, she knew she wanted to stay with us
and do what we do.” He dribbled to center court and made his shot, but didn’t go after the ball. Instead, he walked to Key and leaned against the wall next to him. “But what sealed the deal was that she loved me.”
He was so not good at this. Talking about it made him feel awkward. But he had no idea what to do or how to begin, and Jax was his best hope of figuring it out. “Why?”
“Why does she love me?”
Key nodded. “What did you do that made her love you?”
“It’s not like it happened overnight. In the beginning, it was all about her being Anabo. Then I got to know her, found out what she dreamed about, what was important to her. I did things for her that she couldn’t do for herself, and it took a while, but I finally realized I wasn’t doing them to make her love me. I was doing them because it mattered to me that she was happy, that she had what she needed. I was doing them because I loved her.”
“So she fell in love with you because you did things for her.”
“No, I think she fell in love with me because she discovered my deepest, darkest secret.”
Key jerked his head up and stared at his brother. “What secret?”
Jax smiled. “That I’m kind of a sentimental sap. It never occurred to me that a girl would find that appealing, but after she figured it out, everything changed.”
“How did she figure it out?”
“None of your business.” He caught Key’s look and shook his head. “It doesn’t matter. The point is, what I considered to be a negative turned out to be the turning point.”
“What if she had discovered your secret and didn’t like it, couldn’t get past it? What if you were convinced that nothing you could do would make any difference?”
Jax stared down at his shoes for a long time. Finally, he said, “Jordan is an Anabo who’s becoming Mephisto, so the only thing in this world she wouldn’t be able to get past is something to do with Eryx. With you and Eryx.” He looked up at Key, his eyes full of sympathy. “You think we don’t know, but you’re wrong. We’ve always known how you feel about him. We don’t like it, but we get it, because we were there. We all know what it cost you, Key, and what it did to you. And maybe I know more than anyone because I was there when he jumped. I was there with you.”
The Mephisto Kiss (The Redemption Of Kyros) Page 20
