He was quiet for a long time before he asked in a low, funny voice, “Did you think about going along with him, even for a second?”
“No, because I didn’t believe you’d ever go to his side.”
“Then why’d you go after him?”
“Because he was hurting you.” She smiled at Mr. Bunny. “And because I love you.”
“Are you sure about that, Jordan? We haven’t known each other all that long, and I’m a son of Hell; my brothers tell me all the time that I’m hard and difficult.”
“Are you trying to talk me out of it? Of course I’m sure. I don’t need to know you another year or two or fifty to know how I feel.” She heard a knock. “Here’s Dad. I gotta go, but I’ll call Brody as soon as I can, and then I’ll be there.”
“Good, because I have something to tell you.”
She smiled at the rabbit again. They said good-bye, and she called out for her dad to come in. But it wasn’t her father who opened the door.
Still dressed in his tux, Eryx walked in. He came to the edge of the bed and glanced at the rabbit before he said, “I’ve frozen your father and the housekeeper, to make sure we’re not interrupted. That gives me about ten minutes to say good-bye.”
“Ten minutes is a long good-bye.” She slid to the other side of the bed and got to her feet. “Also, I don’t believe you.”
“It’s true. I realize there’s nothing I can do to convince you. I thought about taking out Tessa, Matthew, and your father, but you’ll be gone from here soon, and their loss would fade in your mind as years went by. You’d know that, of course, so even though it would cause you terrible pain, it still wouldn’t convince you. Persuading them to pledge to me would also hurt you, but you’d still stay with Key. I’m all out of ideas, so as much as I hate it, I’m giving up.”
She could think of no reply, so she kept her eyes on him, ready to pop out, and said nothing.
“I’m incapable of love, as you said, but I wanted you to know that I admire you. What I like best about you is your strength, and ironically, that’s why you won’t go with me. At no time in all the years since I jumped have I ever resented my brothers, until now. I don’t understand what it is about Key that inspires such blind devotion, but I envy him that.”
“You do realize that I don’t believe a word you’re saying?”
He looked surprised and damn close to hurt. “That’s your prerogative, but I’m not lying. I’ve never known a girl like you. I’ve never wanted a girl the way I want you.”
“Even after I decked you?”
“Especially after that.” He rubbed his jaw. “Where’d you learn to do that?”
“Jax taught me.”
He gazed at her from those dead, flat eyes, and she’d swear again that she saw a flicker of life somewhere in the shadows. “As much as anything,” he said, “I like being around you because you know what I am but you’re not afraid of me.”
“I’m incredibly uncomfortable. It’s taking all my self-discipline not to pop out of here.”
“Why do I make you uncomfortable? Because I’m always talking about babies?”
“Because you have the power to alter the entire course of my life.”
“True, but if I were the one to mark you, I’d want it to be because you chose me over Key.”
Why was he beating this to death? Again, she made no reply because she didn’t have anything to say that hadn’t already been said.
“Will you let me kiss you before I go?”
He just didn’t get it. She slowly shook her head. “No.”
“One kiss. Then I’ll leave.”
“I don’t trust you, Eryx. You’re going to try to take me to Erinýes.”
“I won’t, Jordan. I know you’re never going to give me a son, even if you were marked as mine forever. It’s just a kiss.”
“I owe you nothing. I don’t feel sorry for you. I’m sworn to fight you for the rest of time. And I’m still seriously pissed off that you tried to talk Key into joining you. Where in all of that does kissing you fit? It doesn’t. You need to leave. I’ll see you at the next knife fight.”
He moved around the bed, but stopped when she stepped back. “I just want to touch you, to be near you, even if it’s only for a minute. I want to know …” He suddenly looked very sad. “I want to remember what it feels like to stand in the light. It’s been a long, long time.”
He took another step closer, and she took another one back. “I see right through you, Eryx. You think if I let you kiss me, I’ll change somehow, the way I did after Key kissed me. But it won’t work. I became Mephisto because I chose to, of my own free will. The only way I’d ever go with you is by choice, and that’s never going to happen, whether I let you kiss me, or not.”
He moved closer and inhaled. “You always smell like bluebells.”
Stunned, she scrambled for an explanation. How could he catch her scent, the one only Key knew?
“There were bluebells on Kyanos. They grew in the meadow, and Key always got mad at me for picking them to take to Mana. He said what made them beautiful was the company they kept, so he’d take her there to see them. Like I said, he was always jealous, always trying to one-up me.”
Knowing Key’s love of flowers, she didn’t think he’d done that to one-up Eryx. He wanted his mother to see their beauty the way he saw it. “If he knew you were here now, asking me to kiss you, he’d be a lot more than jealous. Aren’t you worried he can sense you’re here? He might show up at any second.”
Eryx shook his head and took another step toward her. “I eavesdropped, so I know he thinks you’re having a heart-to-heart with your father, and he knows I’m giving up, so he isn’t mentally searching for me.” One more step. “If you’re sure it won’t change you, because you choose not to let it, why not kiss me?”
Why was he so determined? “Because I don’t want to.”
He took another step. He was close enough to grab her now, but she didn’t back up again. She stood her ground and began to imagine Key’s room, the chair before the fire. Was he sitting there, right now, waiting for her? If Eryx so much as twitched, she would pop out instantly.
“What if your kiss could change me? Would you do it?”
“If I knew for sure it would work, I’d do it in a heartbeat. But you’d have to choose to change.”
He stared hard at her and she was absolutely certain she saw a flicker in his eyes of something besides infinite evil. “I’d change for you,” he whispered.
“You’re lying.” He had to be lying.
But if he was lying, how could he fake what she saw in his eyes? How was he able to smell bluebells? That had to mean something. What if she really did have the ability to change him? He’d be like he was before he jumped; the brother Key missed so much. He’d cease to be a threat to humanity, and the Mephisto would no longer have to spend their days hunting the lost souls. They could search instead for their own Anabo, for love and redemption.
Key’s words about Eryx replayed in her head. “He’s the only spirit ever in existence to belong nowhere. No one wants him. He wants Hell because he wants to belong. He believes ruling Hell, holding the spirit of all humankind in his power, will fill the empty place where his light used to live.”
“If I knew you’d stay with me,” Eryx said into the silence surrounding them, “I’d accept your light and end the war for Hell.”
“You said yourself, you’re incapable of love. This is only an obsession for you. What is it that you want from me? Because you’ve gone way beyond the baby thing.”
“I can’t explain it, because I don’t understand it myself. I realized while I was at your school that being close to you makes me feel different. Almost calm. It’s completely addictive. I can only imagine what it would be like to hold you next to me and kiss you.”
She shook her head. “If you ever felt any love for Kyros, you wouldn’t ask me to do this.”
“If I ever felt love for my brother?” He took one las
t step, so close now, she could feel his inhuman heat. “I loved him so much, I sacrificed my soul.” He reached out and touched her cheek. “I don’t know if it’s possible, but maybe you can get it back.”
“If you changed, you wouldn’t want me to be with you. You’d see how badly it would hurt Key, and you couldn’t do it to him.”
His fingers were hot, gently stroking down, to her throat. “Then you’d be free to go back to him, so you have nothing to lose. Say you’ll stay with me. Kiss me and give me what you will of your light.” He was bending slightly, coming closer and closer. “Change everything,” he whispered. “Say yes.”
She’d begun to shake, but not because she was afraid. Every nerve in her body was at attention, every muscle stretched taut, and her heart beat erratically. All she could think about was Key, and the centuries he’d grieved for his brother while leading the Mephisto, day in and day out. If she did this, he’d understand why, but would he forgive her?
Eryx’s hand at her neck was gently pulling her toward him, until his face was inches from hers. “Being this close to you is amazing,” he said with a soft smile. “Please say yes.”
“I don’t … I can’t … yes,” she whispered, just before his lips met hers. When he drew her next to him and deepened the kiss, she kissed him back, praying it would work, that he’d become something besides a monster.
But kissing monsters was dangerous, and it took less than a minute for her to realize she’d made a fatal mistake. Intense heat was already racing through her body, and when she broke the kiss and looked into his eyes, that spark of life was gone. In its place was triumph.
“Oh, God, you tricked me.” She shoved away from him and backed toward the window, staring at him in horror.
He shrugged. “Yes, I suppose I did, but not exactly intentional, Jordan. I really did think you could give me some of your light, that it would make a difference. Now I know, I’m truly lost for all time.”
“This will kill Key. Take it back, Eryx. Let me go.”
He looked sad. “I can’t do that. You said yes. You committed to stay with me. You turned away from God and you can never go back.”
She couldn’t cry. This was beyond crying.
“There’s a certain symmetry to this, Jordan. All those centuries ago, Eve believed Lucifer when he told her she would be like God if she ate the fruit of the tree of life. She changed the fate of all mankind.” He watched her bump against her desk. “For a moment, you believed you had greater power than Lucifer, that you could do something he can’t, which is to change me so I’m no longer a threat to the world. You’ll be with me forever, and just like Eve, you’ll alter the course of humanity.” He came toward her, but stopped when she held up her hands. “I’ll go now, and let you say your good-byes. Your father is on his way to your room. I hear his footsteps.” He gave her a strange smile. “It only hurts for a little while. Then you won’t know the difference.”
He disappeared just as Dad knocked at her door.
She moved toward her bed as if she were in a trance, sat at the edge, and determinedly pulled herself together. “Come in,” she called.
Dad opened the door and came to sit next to her on the bed. “How’re we doing, Jo?”
She wanted to scream that she was about to become a monster. But she didn’t. “I had a reason, Dad. That guy has been going out with Tessa, and he was awful to her.”
Dad sighed and reached for her hand. “It’s admirable of you to take up for Tessa, but I think you know punching someone in the face isn’t the best way to handle a situation.”
“I know, and I’m sorry.”
“You’ve never been violent a day in your life. I have to think this is because of what happened. I want you to see Dr. Meyers again, and keep going until you’ve resolved it. Will you do that?”
She gripped his hand and nodded. “I love you, Dad.”
He slipped an arm around her shoulders and hugged her next to him. “I love you, too, Jordan. I want you to be happy, and I don’t think that’s possible as long as you avoid dealing with the abduction. You can’t ignore things like that, or they eat at your soul.”
She leaned her head against him, suddenly feeling very young. “I’m sorry everything’s so bad right now. I see how stressed out you are all the time, and I wish I could do something to make you feel better.”
“How are you at writing tax legislation?”
She kissed his cheek. “I predict things will turn around, very soon. Keep the faith, Dad.”
“I’m doing my best.” He squeezed her, then dropped his arm and got to his feet. He walked to her bulletin board and stood staring at the dried flowers, campaign buttons, and Post-it notes Matthew had stuck in her textbooks over the past two years. “Speaking of faith, this is never to be repeated, but I discovered something unusual about Tom Markham tonight. He’s keeping it very private, because he’s certain if it becomes public it’ll cost him the election, but he’s dropped Christianity for some alternative religion.”
She felt a little panicky. “Did he tell you that?”
“It was the strangest thing, and damned awkward, but yeah. I went into the men’s room, along with half the Secret Service guys, and Markham came in right behind us. He started whispering to me about this new religion, and how I should look into it because it had changed his life.”
“What kind of religion?”
“I’m not sure, but he’s completely convinced it’s the answer to all my problems. If I join with him and the others who’ve converted, we’ll see a way to get the country out of the mess it’s in.”
“Does it seem like something that might interest you?”
He crossed the room and looked at her photos. “Nah, I’m too traditional to go for something like that.” He smiled at her. “It’s a pretty big deal to me to make sure I get to Heaven. I want to see your mother again.”
“So no matter how bad things get, you’re sticking with the Episcopalians?”
“These are hard times, but there’ve been hard times before, and this country has weathered them. We will again. I’ll keep right on doing what I’ve always done.” He walked toward her and bent to kiss the top of her head. “Good night, sweetheart.”
“Good night, Dad.”
He stopped with his hand on the door and looked back at her. “I almost forgot to tell you: you’re suspended for three days, so no school until next Thursday.” He gave her a sad smile. “We’ll work through it, Jo.”
When he was gone, she lifted her hand and touched her lips. “I don’t think so.”
An hour later, the heat in her body was more extreme. It wasn’t like Mephisto, which had made her feel hot from the inside out. This actually burned, and she was in pain. It wasn’t a gradual change, like Mephisto. This was like being electrocuted, realigning all the neurons in her brain, confusing her. She sat on her bed and stared at the bunny and prayed for God to have mercy on her, because she was certainly losing Anabo. Her birthmark was fading.
At first, she’d thought about going to Key, telling him what Eryx had done, but then she’d have to tell him she had let Eryx kiss her, and no matter how much she wanted to believe he’d understand why she did it, she knew he’d never understand. And she couldn’t see any way at all that he could fix what was happening to her.
The only good thing in any of this was the irony that Eryx would still lose. As the Anabo seeped away from her spirit, she lost the ability to bear his children. His deviousness had cost him what he wanted most.
She thought of Jane and what she must have suffered at Eryx’s hands. Did he kiss her when he marked her? Had she lost Anabo? Maybe that’s why Phoenix couldn’t bring her back, not because she carried Eryx’s mark. If she’d lost Anabo, she couldn’t carry anyone’s mark. She’d simply be another human, who couldn’t be resurrected.
Jordan was already immortal, and her loss of Anabo would mean something entirely different than what it would have meant for Jane. She couldn’t be human again, and if
she wasn’t Anabo, or Mephisto, she would become like Eryx.
Before she lost it all, she sat down at her desk and wrote Key an e-mail, but by the time she finished explaining what was happening to her, she’d lost the inclination to send it and so didn’t bother.
Another hour passed. She was sad, then angry, then confused because it didn’t seem so bad. She felt as if she were seeing things for the first time, and nothing in the world of her bedroom made any sense at all. She went to her bulletin board and ripped every single thing off of it, throwing it all to the floor. She took the pictures of Matthew and Tessa, Mom and Dad, friends and family, off the wall, removed them from the frames, and ripped them to shreds. She went into her closet and pulled out the boxes of cards and letters and other mementos and carried them to the elevator. Downstairs, in the basement, she took them down the hall to the incinerator room and tossed all of it.
Back upstairs, she returned to her bedroom and stared at herself in the mirror. Her birthmark was gone. Her eyes were no longer blue, but gray so dark, they were almost black. When her cell rang and she saw it was Key, she put it on silent and dropped it in the trashcan. She was all done with Key, and the Mephisto. She thought of Mariah and felt a twinge of regret, but it was gone as quickly as it had come and she decided not to think about her again.
Back on her bed, she stared at the rabbit and wondered why on Earth she’d ever liked the pitiful old thing. His black button eyes seemed to be mocking her, and she turned him facedown.
“I’ve come back for you,” she heard Eryx say, and when she looked across the room toward the window, he was there, gazing at her with beautiful black eyes, full of lust and longing.
“Maybe you won’t want me anymore. I’ve lost Anabo.”
“I’ll always want you, Jordan, and who knows? It could be that because you became immortal as an Anabo, you’ll still have the ability to conceive.” He smiled. “That’s something to worry about later. For now, I want to take you home with me. I want to talk to you, know you, plan our life together.”
The Mephisto Kiss (The Redemption Of Kyros) Page 32
