Brutis turned towards him and drove his fist into Decker's stomach so hard, that Decker folded over and grunted in pain.
They left and Decker laid on the ground, coughing. He never had the intention on telling anyone about Valie and Carson's visit, although he didn't help them. It wasn't because he disliked them, truth was, Decker had more in common with them than anyone realized.
Chapter 19
Maddy had a steady stream of tears flowing down her cheeks, so little in her stature and helpless looking.
Valie didn't know what to say to her.
“The pendants burn anyone who isn't one of you, it was created to protect the pendants from falling into the wrong hands." Maddy whimpered.
Carson took Valie by the arm and took them towards the parking lot.
"No, I'm sorry!" Maddy cried, following them.
Valie looked back at her, then to Carson, but only quickened the pace.
“Please! Don't leave me here alone!”
Carson stopped and turned towards Maddy, "Stay away from us.”
"Why, Maddy?" Valie asked, “Why did you lie to us?”
She only answered by sobbing into her hands. Valie didn't know if it was because her lie was exposed or because she was sorry for lying to them.
Carson started pulling Valie away, but she yanked her arm back.
"Maddy, are you biologically Rory's daughter? Is Rory Nicotero your actual mother?"
She nodded.
"Science books and even Phaedra said there were five of us, if you aren't one of The Wozniak Five, then who is the fifth?"
"I don't know and that's the truth. It's a girl though," Maddy sniffled and reached into her little purse and pulled out a small pink notebook and flipped it open to a page, "I took some notes that my mum gave me. When we stole the book from the library, it never gave your names in that book, I only pretended it did so you would figure it out and I wouldn't have to explain."
It didn't make sense, Rory gave birth to Maddy the same time that she created a Wozniak baby? Then who was Maddy's father? Why even lie about it?
“Whoever she is, I was to get her pendant if our parents were unable. She's still alive somewhere.”
"Why didn't you tell us? You just decided to omit that one little detail? C'mon, Maddy, it affects everything.”
"I didn't know how to tell you.”
"Just...go, go home.” Valie started to walk away, and then huffed to herself for feeling guilty. “Meet us back at the cabin, I don't want to be around you right now.”
Carson and Valie walked back to the car. Valie didn't really want to be around him either. She felt betrayed by him almost as much as she felt betrayed by Maddy. While his explanation was logical, Valie didn't care. Trent was her family and she would've stopped at nothing to help him.
They got back to the car. Valie sat in the passenger seat with her arms crossed.
“I'm sorry it happened this way, Valie.”
They drove along a country road on their way back to the cabin. Carson informed Valie that they were not far from the cabin. She ignored him. The thought of jumping out of the car popped into her head more than once. She thought about going after Trent, but she was too weak. Not knowing where he could be wasn't an issue, Valie was running out of time and she knew it.
“Trent is one of the best people I know,” Valie broke the silence. “When we were in fifth grade, there was a new kid in our school. He got teased a little because a rumor was going around that his family was poor. The kid sat alone at lunch his first few days, he didn't even have a lunch. One morning, Trent packed an extra lunch and brought it to the new kid. He sat with him and struck up a conversation. He later told me that no one should have to sit alone at lunch. That's the type of person he is, he's one of the best people I know,” she said once again.
Carson didn't say anything.
Then, the car sputtered to a stop and Carson pulled along the shoulder. Valie sat up looking around, as if something inside the car would indicate why it stopped.
“We're out of gas,” Carson grumbled, putting the car in park.
“We're out of gas?” she repeated.
“I was hoping we'd have enough to get back...we didn't have any money left.”
Valie scoffed. It wasn't his fault, but she didn't care. She was still mad, and in her mind, she didn't have to be reasonable.
“We have to walk.” He grabbed the backpack and got out of the car. Valie pushed open her door and slammed it with force to show her anger.
Carson waited on the shoulder, but Valie marched past him, he stumbled over his foot trying to catch up with her.
He walked beside her. When she walked slower, so did he, when she tried to pick up the pace, so did he. She was getting annoyed, all she wanted was space.
“Can you stop?!” she hissed.
“Valie, listen.” He gently tugged at her arm.
She faced him with her scowl.
He motioned to Trent's pendant that Valie was still holding tightly, “You have to take it.”
Valie opened her eyes widely, “Are you joking?”
The look on his face told her he wasn't.
"I'm not taking it," Valie said firmly, pushing it into his hand. She didn't even want to hold it anymore. “It'll never, ever happen.”
"No, no, no," he said grasping her wrist and putting it back into her hand. "You have to; it's not even an option."
Valie looked at him in awe, in total disbelief at what he was asking her to do. All she could think of was Trent. "I'm not taking it, I can't believe you'd even ask. I can't even look at you right now.”
“Valie...”
"He could still be alive," she said, feeling the sting of tears coming to her eyes. “He could still be alive. He could still be alive. Alive.”
“Just because you keep saying it, doesn't make it real.”
“Screw you, Carson.”
"It's time to get serious, Valie. You are going to die if you don't take it. That's it. We're out of options and you need to stop living in the fairy tale. You can't chase after Trent and we can't sit and hope he'll come back. It's sad and it sucks, but that's the reality. We have to deal with reality, no one is shielding you anymore."
"He's my best friend, he's my family. I'm not taking his only chance to live, don't ask me to."
Carson grabbed her by the shoulders. "They killed him, Valie. I know it's hard, but you know. The night that they kidnapped you, did you get the impression they were going to do anything other than kill you?"
He was right, Valie knew they wanted them dead, but didn't need to be reasonable when it came to someone she loved.
"Until I know for sure...I won't do it. I won't take it."
"Valie, we're not taking his chance to live, he doesn't have one anymore. You do, your chance is right here."
"No.”
That was the end of the conversation for her, she turned and starting walking again.
After a while, they stepped off the road and entered a wooded area. Carson was familiar with the area. They had about 15 more miles to the cabin, but to Valie, it might as well have been 1,000. Exhaustion came over her, like a sudden wave, and even taking one more step felt impossible. It had gotten worse in the matter of a couple of hours. She couldn't find a single positive thing to think about anymore, even knowing that Carson and Jackson were going to live through the ordeal didn't seem like enough.
"Carson?" Valie asked weakly.
He stopped, "Yeah?"
"I think we need a Hail Mary to get through this...and I don't see one coming. Will you take me home?"
"What?"
She put her hand on his shoulder for stability. As much as it killed her to ask Carson for anything, she couldn’t walk anymore. It felt as if bricks were tied to her ankles and wrists. "I'm not going to make it much farther and if I'm going to...I just, I want to be in my room, in my bed, surrounded by things that make me feel better." Valie took a shaky breath, and rubbed her eyes. She wanted to see him
clearly. "You're stronger than me, please try and find him, try and find Trent. Please?"
Just as she said it, her knees gave out. Carson caught her and picked her up.
"Let's rest for a little while and I'll take you home," he said softly in her ear.
“This doesn't mean I'm not mad at you,” she forced out, using what last strength she had to be certain Carson knew she was still angry about his decision that prevented her from helping Trent.
He carried her until they came to a small clearing. It had grown dark outside. It was the last night before their birthdays.
Once Carson set Valie on the ground, she fell to her side. Carson laid out the sleeping bag from the backpack and Valie moved to it, crawling inside and bringing her knees to her chest.
Carson gathered some sticks and dead leaves to start a small fire. It didn't take long before the small pile began to glow and spark itself alive.
Valie watched the fire, appreciating the soft warmth on her face. To Valie, waiting to die seemed worse than actually dying and that's what she was doing. Only waiting to die now. It was too much. She wanted to get up and run, run until she couldn't breathe, until her body gave up on her like Phaedra said it would. She wanted it over with.
Carson was poking at the fire with a long stick.
“Carson?” Valie asked, sitting up.
He came to her side. Valie only continued to stare at the fire that was suddenly fighting to stay alive from the wind; she cringed from the awful irony.
"What's wrong?" he asked.
Poor Carson, she could tell, no matter how much he tried to hide it, she could tell that it was hurting him to know there was nothing that he could do to help her. She didn't know how much and didn't want to guess, she just knew.
"Remember back at the library how I told you that I was on the swim team in high school?"
"Yeah."
"Only my freshman and sophomore year though."
"I remember."
"I was the best swimmer in the state. I broke records. My school has a few trophies because of me, I have a few trophies and medals in my room too," she said in attempt to sound proud, "I stopped though, I stopped swimming and I never talk about it, not ever."
"Talk about what?"
Valie started to recall the story that weighed heavy on her heart and mind since it happened, a story that she never talked about, not to anyone.
"The spring of my sophomore year we were in training and it was a really warm spring, so our coach was going to have us swim outside one morning. From one side of this lake to the other. It wasn't supposed to be that difficult, it was supposed to be fun. It was a beautiful Sunday morning and, um, there were eight of us. I was the fastest, I'd always been a great swimmer, so my job was to, sort of 'cheer on' the slower swimmers and encourage them."
As she spoke, she tried looking at Carson, but he had such a sad, yet intense look on his face that she had to look away. That look alone was making her feel something entirely different and she wanted to be focused on her story.
Valie continued, eyes focused back on the fire, "Everyone was doing great, but once we got to the middle of the lake, I heard someone cry out. It was one of the girls from the team. She was the last one and she had gotten a cramp or something because she stopped swimming. I remember looking back and seeing her arms flailing for help...she was panicking and going under. I could see the fear in her face as she clawed at the water. I yelled for someone to get help. We didn't have life jackets, we were on the swim team and not supposed to need life jackets. There weren't any boats on the water yet because it was still early. I swam back to help her... but she grabbed me and she started pulling me under to keep herself up. She was scared, I could always hold my breath for a long time, but when she pushed me under, I swallowed a bunch of water and I couldn't catch my breath. I was trying to stay calm and talk to her, but she was screaming and grabbing at me, completely frenzied."
Valie stopped talking for a second and took a couple deep breaths, she closed her eyes, and just as she did, the whole scene came back vividly in her mind, even the taste of lake water in her mouth, but she wanted to finish the story. As hard as it was, she felt like she had to.
"I started to swim away and I yelled and pleaded for someone to help, but no one was close anymore...everyone else was too far away or trying to get to shore for help. It all happened so quickly...less than a minute. She went down and didn't come back up. I went back...I tried, I really did try...but, she drowned that day. She died."
Valie could see Carson's head drop out of the corner of her eye.
"She was so scared. She knew how to swim, but...it was the fear. I think about her every single day. I've moved past the guilt the best I can. I was 16 when it happened and when it did, a rock formed in the pit of my stomach and planted itself. Everyone was asking, always asking if I was okay. I never talked about it to anyone. Not Trent, not my uncle, not my friends. I'd once overheard a classmate ask why, if I was the best swimmer in the state, why wasn't I able to save her? Why didn't I do more to help her? I ask myself that all the time and I relive that moment in the daytime, in the nighttime, I even have nightmares about it. I ran away from home not long after that. I had to be away from the questions and the looks. I felt so guilty that I didn't care if I lived or died. A boy from my school gave me a ride out of town. They found me a week later and made me go home. The only person who I've told the story to on my own terms was my guidance counselor at school. Now, I feel like I have to tell someone. I need someone to know that I tried, but I was scared too because I didn't want to die. On my good days, I can uncover my trophies in my room, otherwise they're covered by a towel. I can't even look at them without feeling so sad. I haven't been in the water since. I didn't want to die that day and I stopped trying to save her...and I'm so sorry. Her name was Evelyn and I think about her every day," Valie cried softly into her hands. "She was only 14. I didn't try hard enough because I was scared too. I don’t want this to be like that. I want to save Trent, I’m not scared anymore, but I can’t…it’s not in me. Just like that day, I can’t save anyone, Carson…not even myself."
Carson moved her hands away from her face, but she kept her eyes squinted shut. She didn't want Carson looking at her, and even more than that, she didn't want to look at him. She felt him move her hair from her face and tuck it behind her ear. He leaned forward and gently kissed her forehead, bringing his arms around her and hugged her. There was an amazing comfort that she felt as he did. It felt warm and secure, like as long as he held her like that, then everything would be okay, but he couldn't hold her forever.
He didn't say anything and Valie didn't want him to. There was nothing he could say, there was nothing she wanted to hear, she only wanted someone to listen. It was the one thing she tried to hide from the world. She needed to hear herself tell the story out loud. She needed to do that so she could finally forgive herself for not being able to save Evelyn.
"I made a promise to myself," he whispered, "the first time I saw you, that I would do whatever I could to keep you safe. I almost hated myself thinking it, I didn't want to care about anyone. I don't want to care about anyone." He pulled away from Valie. "You don't have much time left, I don't know if you'll make it until tomorrow."
Valie covered her face, not feeling the bravery she wished she would've felt in that moment. She felt as if there wasn't going to be anything noble about her death. She was going to cry her way out, probably kicking and screaming.
“I'm sorry," he continued, "and...I want you to forgive me someday, okay?" He was still speaking softly.
"For what?"
"Just promise me."
"Carson?” she uncovered her face and looked at him.
“Promise me.”
“I don't understand."
He didn't answer. He wasn't looking at Valie anymore, he was looking down.
"If you're walking on the tracks and a train is coming...just get off, right? You just needed to get off the tracks, Vali
e. It was that simple."
"Carson?"
And just as she said his name, before she could even react or think, he threw his arm forward and she felt a sharp sting in her upper arm. A surge went through her veins, all the way down her body. It felt as if she had been struck by lightning.
Valie fell backwards, gasping for breath as she tried coping with the inexplicable painful surge she felt from the tip of her toes to her head.
Carson stood, told her to relax, it would be over in a moment, and that's when she saw an empty pendant drop to the ground.
She couldn't process it. She was too focused on what was happening to her body. It was over quickly. She sat up and almost instantly, felt the life come back into her. Her breathing was easy, the pain in her leg was gone, her eyes clear, the groggy feeling had left. Valie jumped to her feet, away from the empty pendant.
"No, no, no, no, no...” Valie grabbed the empty glass on the ground and screamed in horror. She screamed so loudly that her cry echoed all around them.
Carson had injected her with Trent's pendant, even if he was still alive, he wouldn't be for long. Trent's life had just been given to Valie.
"How could you do that?!" Valie started hitting Carson as hard as she could.
"I had to," he said, backing away, not really making an effort to defend himself.
"How could you do this to me?!" she cried.
"I didn't do it to you, I did it for you," he reasoned.
"No!"
"I can't watch you die. I can't sit here and watch you die! Not you! If I thought there was a chance Trent was alive, I would've given you my pendant, I'd give you my life if I had to, I did this for you!"
Valie crumbled to the ground, feeling as if she should've broken into a million shattered pieces.
She heard Carson step away, and when she looked up at him, he was injecting something into his arm...the elixir from his pendant. He never took it. He'd kept it the whole time.
Chapter 20
Valie didn't sleep at all that night. She was no longer tired. She wanted to leave, but wasn't sure of where they were or how to get back to the cabin. She needed to talk to Phaedra, so she stayed.
The Pendants and the Mystery of the Wozniak Five Part I Page 18
