“I’m fine with you being bi.” I grasped the waistband of his boxer briefs. “You don’t have to hide it around me, but—” I lowered my voice. “I don’t know if I can handle you guys, well, doing stuff in front of me.”
His entire body stiffened. “You didn’t like last night?”
“It’s not that.” I groaned softly. “Watching him sucking you… It was confusing. I wasn’t comfortable with him seeing me naked, either. I don’t know how to explain it.”
He moved his hands to my face and tilted my head up. “You can’t deal with it? OK.” He pressed his forehead to mine. “So, uh, do you want me to stop seeing him?”
“You don’t have to do that,” I explained. “Just don’t have sex with me there.”
He quickly glanced at Neil then stared into my eyes. “If that’s good with you, then fine. We can do that. He isn’t into women, anyway. He only fucked you because I wanted him to. You know he’s gay, right?”
“Yeah,” I replied. “I knew that from the day I met him. Although I didn’t suspect you. I’m fine with it. I promise.”
“Good.” He kissed my lips.
I waited until he looked at me again. “Does everyone else in the band know about you and Neil?” His nod was expected. “Have you been with other guys?”
“A few.” His eyes drifted down.
“Anyone from the band?”
His body tensed. “Uh, well, no one you know.”
I slid my hands up his back. “Who?”
“Kip.”
I waited for him to continue, but he didn’t. His body language told me it didn’t end well. I remembered hearing the name Kip once or twice. It took a while to figure out when I had. “Was he the guy who left for New York?”
“Yep.” He sighed then pulled me to the couch. We sat, and he laid a hand on my knee. “Guess I need to tell you what happened before Logan spills it.” He took a deep breath. “We were hanging out one night, and he found gay porn on my computer. He didn’t get upset. He watched it. Then he told me he had always been curious about men. We got together a few times. He touched me. I touched him. He sucked me off. I did it to him. Then I let him fuck me, and he realized he was really into it. But he always said he didn’t want to be bottomed.”
“Uh, wait. Bottomed?” I didn’t understand.
He took my hand in his. “That means you’re on the bottom. Getting fucked. Taking it in the ass.”
I held up a hand. “OK. I get it.”
“Good.” He relaxed into the couch. “One night, we got drunk. We were at his place. He had his own apartment, no roommate. While I was blowing him, he asked me to fuck him. I hesitated because he was always against it. But he turned over and pulled his cheeks apart. I couldn’t resist. He felt good. I was so drunk, I forgot a condom. Then I came in him.” He turned away.
I squeezed his hand. “That’s why he got mad? No condom?”
“No. He didn’t even realize it until we woke up.” Bradley turned to me again. “My dick was still in his ass. Guess I stayed hard. I don’t know. He freaked out and screamed at me to get off of him. When he sat up, he had cum all over his stomach, from the night before. He freaked out even more. I guess he remembered cumming while I fucked him. He shoved me out the door. Then he went to Logan’s, grabbed his shit and disappeared. We didn’t hear from him for three weeks.”
The day we met the band made sense. Logan was angry with Bradley for Kip leaving them. The comments Logan sometimes made finally made sense. It wasn’t Bradley’s fault, though. Kip asked for it, and then regretted it. How was Bradley to know he would react that way?
“Hope you two are hungry,” Neil called from the kitchen. He waved at us. “Breakfast is ready.”
I took a deep breath. “Let’s go eat.”
He stopped me from getting up. “Do you think I did the wrong thing with Kip?”
“No.” I believed that. “He just couldn’t deal with his own sexuality or something.”
“Thanks.” He kissed my hand and pulled me in for a kiss on the lips. “At least someone believes me.” Then he stood and tugged me to my feet. “We made your favorite.”
I smiled and walked with him to the table. There was a plate of French toast, with dishes of bacon and fruit. Syrup, whipped cream and orange juice were set out as well. I smiled and sat.
“Wow. Looks good.” I filled my plate. “I didn’t know you could cook.”
Bradley sat next to me. “Neil’s the cook. I just helped.”
“Thanks, Neil.”
Neil sat and grinned. “You’re welcome. After last night, I thought it was only right. You let me into your lives. It was great. You’re hot for a chick.”
“Uh, thanks.” I felt even worse for refusing another threesome. “It was different.”
We ate in silence for a while. I was glad I didn’t feel uncomfortable. Neil was more relaxed than usual, and we talked easily for a change. Maybe the night before was worth it. There was no more tension while the three of us were together. I smiled glad things had changed for the better.
“This is so good,” I mumbled around a mouth full of food. “You can cook anytime.”
Neil laughed. “Thanks. Glad you feel that way.” His eyes drifted to Bradley. “So… You’d be OK with Brad moving in with me?”
My mouth dropped. “Huh? Seriously?”
“Wait.” Bradley grabbed my arm. “Not what you think. Like a roommate. Not as in we’re getting serious or something. He needs someone to pay half the bills. My dad said he’d help with the rent for a while.” He slid his hand down my arm to my hand. “If you don’t like this, I won’t do it. The last thing I want is to make you feel more uncomfortable.”
I looked from one of them to the other. “It depends. Does this mean you’ll be with each other every day? As in together?”
“No.” Neil smiled. “I actually have a boyfriend. He lives in Philly, but he goes away a lot on business. So we have an open relationship to a point. He met Brad and is cool with us fooling around.”
Relief washed over me. I worried I would lose Bradley to Neil. “In that case, I’m fine with it.”
Bradley held my hand to his lips. “Thanks.”
After everything was cleaned up, Neil showered, dressed and left. Bradley and I sat in the living room watching television. We didn’t have a gig that night. Chad had a date planned with Amy. He had invited me and Bradley to join them, but I wasn’t sure that was a good idea. I tried to keep them as far from each other as possible.
“Can we do something tonight?” I asked. “Are any of your friends playing?”
He shrugged. “I can check.” He patted my knee and headed for the bedroom we slept in.
When he didn’t come out for a long while, I checked on him. “Hey. Everything OK?”
He talked on the phone. His boxers tented. “Yeah. Sit a second.”
I sat on the bed and waited. He leered at me a few times. My eyes stayed on his crotch, for the most part. He was obviously hard as could be.
As soon as he ended the call, he stopped in front of me and quickly pushed me on my back. I was startled but let him move me higher on the bed. His lips on mine were no surprise. I got into it right away. I held his shoulders as his tongue caressed mine slowly.
When he started to tug on my panties, I pushed him back. “Don’t rip ’em. Lemme take them off.”
He slid off me and shucked his underwear, then watched as I took mine off. “Much better.” He pulled me to my side and pressed his body to mine. “Just me and you.”
I smiled, and then my eyes closed when he kissed me again. He soon rolled me onto my back again. Then he snagged a condom and put it on. He grabbed something else and laid it on the bed. I couldn’t see it though. Before doing anything else, he turned us to our sides again and pulled my leg up over his hip.
“Gonna try something,” he said in my ear. Nervously, I waited. His cock grazed my inner thigh. “Relax. I promise this won’t hurt.”
My eyes closed, an
d I grabbed his hair in one hand. A million things ran through my mind. What’s he gonna do? The tip of his erection nudged my opening. I relaxed as he ran a hand through my hair. His lips moved over mine. I kissed him, letting the anxiety go.
He pushed in slowly. “Just want some of my pussy, Cookie.” With several strokes, he was in completely. “Now, stay relaxed.” One of his hand hands searched the bed. I heard a cap open and tensed. “Cookie, I’m not gonna hurt you.”
I flinched when a wet finger slid down my ass crack. “Wait. Don’t.”
“Shh. Let me feel it,” he pleaded softly as he breached my back door.
I shivered, terrified of the agony I expected. It felt weird, but it was pressure, not pain. His finger burrowed deeper as he continued to pump in and out of my pussy. I didn’t like the feeling at all. He moaned, though, so I let him keep going. Suddenly, he pulled out of both holes.
“Get on your belly,” he demanded. “I like that position better.”
With shaking hands, I rolled over. I knew on my stomach he couldn’t easily finger my ass. He widened my legs, and then got down on one forearm above me. I relaxed when he pushed back into my pussy. Seconds later, his other forearm was near my head, and he started to move his hips.
“I want you to cum, Cookie.” His knees pushed on my thighs. “Close your eyes.” I complied. “Play with yourself. Help me out.” His voice was off, as if he were nervous.
Wanting things to feel more normal, I reached down and rubbed my clit. It didn’t do much of anything at first. Then his rhythm quickened. I shifted my hips until I felt his cock brushing my sweet spot within. I increased the pressure and sighed.
“There you go.” He began to pump faster. “Cum for me.”
It took me by surprise. My eyes rolled back as the wave of pleasure crashed over me. My vision blurred, and I couldn’t feel much else. When he pulled out, I barely noticed. Then blinding pain made me scream.
“Fuck! I’m sorry!” he yelled.
I felt him pull out of my ass. Then I scurried away from him. “Don’t touch me! Don’t touch me.” I hugged my knees and huddled against the headboard.
“I’m sorry.” He crawled towards me. “I thought I stretched you enough. I never meant to hurt you.”
Tears streamed down my cheeks. The pain remained. “No.”
“OK. I won’t do it again.” He touched my arm, and I flinched. “Hey. It’s me. I’m sorry. I like anal. I was kinda hoping you would too, once I got in there.”
I shook my head, angry and feeling a bit betrayed. “I said I didn’t want that.”
He took me into his arms and didn’t let go when I struggled. “I know. I’m sorry.” He cradled my head to his chest. “I won’t do that again. I swear.” He held me for what seemed like an hour. “How about we take a shower and go to the mall. I’ll buy you a new outfit or something.”
When he let me go, I got off the bed and collected my things. “I’m going home.”
“Let me take you.” He got to his feet then started getting dressed. “Do you wanna take a shower first?”
I didn’t answer, I just walked to the bathroom and locked the door. Still upset, I took a shower. I wished I had a change of clothes. In a towel, I opened the door.
“Can I borrow something of Neil’s to wear?”
Without a word, a few minutes later, Bradley handed me one of his T-shirts and cargo shorts that had to be Neil’s. I closed the door again and got dressed. When I stepped out of the room, he waited in the living room.
“Please.” He stood up. “I know I fucked up. I shouldn’t’ve just done that. I’m so sorry. I don’t always think before I act.” He was impulsive like Chad. It was something I noticed from the start.
I moved to him and looked up. “You’re right. You shouldn’t’ve. I kinda get why, but I trusted you.”
“Yeah.” He sighed. “I said I fucked up. Can you forgive me?” He obviously regretted what he did. The look in his eyes was pleading.
With a nod, I replied, “Yes. I forgive you, but I wanna go home.”
“I’ll get you a pair of jeans then.” He turned towards Neil’s room.
I grabbed his arm and exhaled loudly. “It hurts so much, I don’t think I can ride.” I was sore, and it felt weird still.
“Still hurts?” He touched my cheek. “I’m sorry.”
“I know.” I backed away from him and retrieved my purse from his backpack in the bedroom. “I’ll get a ride.” Chad’s phone number was at the top of my recent call list. I hit the phone icon and sat down. When he answered, I said, “Hey, Chad. Can you pick me up?”
He replied, “Sure. Where are you?”
“Uh, Neil’s place.”
“Why?”
“Long story you don’t wanna hear.”
He sighed. “Fine. Text me the address.”
“You called Chad?” Bradley sounded hurt.
I looked up as I hit the end button. “Yeah. He’s my best friend.”
“Are we still together? Or did I ruin it?”
I gave him a small smile. “We’re good. I just need a few days maybe. You freaked me out. I can’t explain why.” The last thing I planned to admit was that I feared him a bit. It was most likely a remnant from the “doctor incident,” as I called it in my head.
“Let me know if there’s anything I can do.” He took my face in his hands and kissed my lips gently. “I’ll never do something like that again.”
Chad arrived about 15 minutes later. Bradley walked me to his van. They glared at each other for a few seconds, then both turned to me. Chad stood at his van. His arms folded over his chest.
I put up a hand. “Nothing for you two to argue about.” I kissed Bradley’s lips. “We’ll talk later.”
He put a hand on my side. “OK.”
Chad opened the passenger door. “He do something? You look mad.”
“Nope.” I climbed onto the bench seat with a boost from Chad and set my purse and bag of dirty clothes on the floor. “Things are fine. I just wanted to go home.” I waved to Bradley when Chad started the engine.
Once on the road, Chad tapped the steering wheel. I knew something was going on. His demeanor told me he was upset or maybe sad. I was so wrapped up in my own confusing emotions; I had a hard time sensing his as I normally could.
“I’m glad you called,” he said as he braked for a red light. “I—I broke up with Amy last night.”
“Why?” I felt like I missed something.
He put up a hand. “I’ll tell you.” The light turned green, and he hit the gas. “She wants an open relationship now. I know this has been coming, but I was hoping she’d change her mind. She wants to meet up with guys or girls while I’m working. I’m not good with that.”
I nodded, hoping he didn’t find out Bradley did Neil on the side. Then I wondered if they had any other threesomes. No way could I ask though. “Sorry.” I placed a hand on his thigh. “The girl for you is out there. Somewhere.”
He grabbed my hand. “Yeah.” Then he mumbled, “But she don’t love me back.”
Chapter 33
Chad and I were in his room studying for midterms on a Friday in October. I sat on the bed, and he was in the computer chair quizzing me. He was stronger in math than I was, and I was better at history than him. It worked out well. He was a good teacher. I would have failed several classes my first year if not for him.
I could see in his eyes every time he looked at Amy that he was lonely. It bothered me to no end. Bradley had reservations about Chad and I hanging out alone, but I didn't care. We weren't remotely serious, and we both wanted it to stay that way. Chad was much more important to me.
We were having dinner with the band at Chad's that night, so I watched the time. Chad had planned to make ribs and chicken on the grill. It was not the first time the band had a taste of his barbecue skills. We tried to get together once a month, at least.
I stood and grabbed my iced tea off his nightstand. “Did you get potatoes and cauliflower?�
��
“Yep.” Chad leaned his chair back. “I also bought what you need for brownies.”
“Cool.” I checked his alarm clock again. “We should get started.”
He glanced at his watch. “Yeah. You're right.”
I followed him downstairs. None of his roommates were home. However, we always planned for them to show up. Chad got busy with the meat, and I took out what I needed to make my dishes. The kitchen had plenty of counter space, so we rarely got in each other’s way. Once he went out to the grill, I started dessert.
Everything was ready by the time the doorbell rang. I rushed to open the door and found Skylar and Logan. They seemed to be in an on-again phase that week. At least when they were on the outs, it didn't affect the band. Logan put a hand out, indicating that Skylar should walk in first.
She did. She said, “Damn, that smells awesome. What're you making?”
“Brownies,” I replied. “But Chad's grilling ribs. He makes the best ribs I ever had. The meat falls right off the bone.”
Logan groaned. “Got my stomach rumbling.” He followed Skylar to the couch and sat next to her. “Hope you made a lot. I'm starving.”
Chad walked in the back door. “Good. Food’s almost done. Where’s Spikes and Mark?”
I pulled out my phone. “Bradley said he was helping Mark with a tire, I think.” I checked for new messages. There weren’t any. “They should be here soon.”
Things between Bradley and I had gone back to normal in the bedroom. It did take me almost a week to let him touch me again. He was frustrated, but he tried to be understanding. When I told Neil I couldn’t deal with him touching me, he accepted it just fine.
Minutes later, there was a knock on the door. I smiled as I opened it. There stood Bradley, Mark and Phil. I gave a blanket wave. “Hey, guys.” I glanced at Phil, a bit confused.
Phil grinned and looked me over. “Saw Mark on the side of the road just before Spikes here pulled up. They said I could tag along. Sooo glad they did.”
I hadn’t seen him since the Fourth of July party. He was in his last year of high school at that point. Obviously, he hadn’t changed much. Although, his body was more defined, and his arms were most definitely bigger. I was sure he was glad to see me in a short skirt and tank top.
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