I chew on my pen as the professor drones on and on about something that doesn’t interest me at all. I keep staring through the window and hoping the class will be over soon. It’s been a month since I’ve seen Caleb and I wonder how he’s doing. No matter how much time passes or what I do, I always keep hoping I’ll see him on the street or anywhere. I even tried, like some desperate teenage girl, to find his social media profiles through Katherine or Alessandra, but I haven’t been lucky.
It’s as if Caleb doesn’t exist except when he comes for me. And even if Caleb is some drug addict or whatever and we can never be together as a couple, I still want to find out more about him. And yet, I’m uncomfortable talking about this with Katherine or Alessandra. I’m not even sure Katherine would tell me anything even if she knew him. But there’s another way. I just need to find Alessandra.
It takes me a moment to realize everyone is getting up and the lecture is over. Thank God. I quickly stuff my things into my black bag and hurry into the hallway. If I’m not wrong, Alessandra’s class should have ended a couple of minutes ago, too. Maybe I can still catch her. I glimpse the back of her head and rush after her.
“Allie!” I yell, and she turns around, a smile flashing on her face.
“Lil! What’s up?”
“I need to talk to you about something.” I glance at the students passing by. “Somewhere private.”
She purses her lips. “Sure. I know a good place.” She starts toward the door. We end up in the alley, and Alessandra leans on a big fence. “What did you want to talk about?”
“Are you still in contact with Caleb?” I ask, restlessly tapping my foot.
“I know how to reach him, yeah. Why?” She’s carefully observing me, her brows drawn together.
“I need his services.” I sound like a drug addict who’s asking for more of her fix.
“Sex?”
I nod.
“He’s just that good, isn’t he?” She bites down on her lower lip. “Knows how to make a woman happy.”
“Yeah.” I wonder if Alessandra slept with Caleb too, but I don’t want to know the answer, because I can’t even begin to imagine how awkward that would be.
“Don’t worry. I’ll contact him,” she says. “You want to meet him at the hotel you went to the first time?”
I shake my head. “I prefer somewhere else, but not my apartment. One of my neighbors is having a party, so... not a good idea.”
“Huh. I’m not sure if he’ll like that, but I’ll see what I can do. Is there a reason why you don’t want to go to that hotel?” She gives me probing gaze, her face serious.
“No. I just don’t want to be seen there. A month or so ago, some guy recognized me in a freakin’ bar.” I try to look indignant. “Can you believe that? I don’t know who can recognize me on the street or near the hotel, and I really don’t want this to reach my father or the press.”
“Of course. You have to be careful.” The suspicion disappears from Allie’s eyes. “I’ll call you as soon as I hear from him.”
“Thank you.” The truth is, I don’t want to meet Caleb in some hotel or a room because I don’t want to have sex with him this time. I’m not sure if he’ll agree to just keep me company, but I’ll take that risk. If he doesn’t agree, well, at least I’ll know he’s truly not interested in me and I’m only another client to him. The only thing I can lose is some of my money. But at least I won’t have to explain to Alessandra why I’d want to see Caleb for anything other than sex, and I sure as hell don’t want him to get scared of my intentions and refuse me without me having a chance to explain myself.
“Are you sure you want Caleb?” she suddenly asks. “I know he’s like your favorite right now, but I know some other guys who are good at what they do too.”
A frown creases my brow. “Caleb already knows me and I feel comfortable with him. I’m not interested in other guys, but I’m curious about something. How do you find them?”
“I have weird friends.” She laughs. “No, seriously, I know a lot of people. I met some of Caleb’s friends. He’s not working alone, you know.”
“Are they as hot as he is?” I think that’s a safe question to ask because that’s something Alessandra would expect.
“Hell, yeah.” She grins. “I went to a few private parties with them. We had lots of fun.”
“Private parties? That sounds intriguing.”
Alessandra runs a finger across her lips. “Sorry, I’m not allowed to tell you anything because there’s lots of sex involved and some illegal substances, but nothing dangerous, trust me. Maybe I’ll tell you someday. I don’t want to get banned for life because I talked too much. All you need to know is that if you go to those parties, your pleasure is guaranteed. They can cater to each and every one of your fantasies.”
“Wow.” A tentative smile appears on my lips. “What does your boyfriend think about that?”
“Steven?” She rolls her eyes. “He doesn’t know.” She pushes herself off the fence and stalks toward me, her eyes narrowing. When she stops, her face is only inches from mine. “And you won’t mention anything to him about this, understand? I know your secret and you know mine. I think you can see how indiscretion could harm us both.”
“I won’t say anything.” I press my lips into a tight line, annoyed that she’s actually threatening me, but maybe she’s just worried that her boyfriend will find out that she’s cheating on him or whatever it is that she’s doing.
“Steven doesn’t like that kind of thing, and I mostly just watch, so don’t think I’m being a bitch. He has his little pleasures and I have mine.” She backs off.
“Right. I have to go now. Call me when you...”
“Yeah, yeah.” She opens her red bag and digs through it until she takes out a pack of cigarettes. She lights one up, and I turn to leave, excited about the possibility of seeing Caleb again.
My hands are clammy as I wait for Caleb in the alley where Alessandra told me to come. The alley is not completely abandoned, so I try to stay out of sight. I slip my hands into the pockets of my blue jeans and lean on one of the parked cars. My heart jitters as soon as I spot Caleb coming down the street. He’s wearing dark blue jeans and a white shirt. His dark hair is messy and his steps are wide and strong. I wish I could feel as confident as he does when I step from around the car.
“Hi,” he says, smiling. “Nice to see you again.”
“You too.” Warmth flushes my cheeks.
“Where do you want us to go?” he asks. “I know a place near here. No one will recognize you there.”
“No, I...” I look down at my black sneakers. “I don’t really want to have sex right now.”
“Then what do you want?” His voice is tense, and I look up to meet his serious gaze.
“I want you to come with me somewhere. If you don’t mind.” I give him a shy look. “If you don’t want to, that’s okay. I’ll go alone.”
“You should have said something...” His forehead wrinkles as he shuffles his feet.
“I didn’t really know it back then,” I lie. “I changed my mind today, actually. I thought it would be weird to just cancel. My friends are all busy, so I was hoping for some company, but I totally understand if you don’t want to...”
“No, it’s fine. I’ll come with you. I just... didn’t expect it.” He tries to smile but it doesn’t reach his eyes. He’s fidgeting a little and I wonder if he’s just being nice but actually wants to bolt.
“I don’t want to be a pushy, annoying client, so if this bothers you, please tell me.” I search his eyes for something, but he doesn’t give me anything.
“It’s okay. Really.”
“Great. Then let’s go.” I start down the street, and in the corner of my eye, I can see him taking out his phone and quickly typing something. When he’s done, he looks up at me. I really hope he’s not lying about everything being fine.
“How was your week?” I ask as we walk down the street.
“Fine.�
�� He shrugs. “As usual.”
“Did you do anything fun?” I give him a quick look.
“Not really. What about you?”
“I’ve been mostly busy with school, and now that it’s the weekend and I’m free, my friends apparently don’t have time for me. But luckily, I’ve got you.” I flash him a smile. “I want to do something fun.”
“And what is your idea of fun?” Curiosity is written all over his face.
“I want to see a movie;” I say, and nod toward the movie theater that is right across the street. “What do you think? Bad idea or good idea?”
“Depends on the movie.”
“True.” I tug at his arm. “Come on. Let’s see if we can find something interesting to watch.”
“Found anything you might like?” he asks as I’m scanning through the schedule.
I can feel his eyes on me. “I don’t know. Any suggestions?” I actually want him to pick a movie because I don’t want him to spend a couple of hours watching something he hates, but when I look up at him, I see he’s paying more attention to people around us than the movies, and he’s rocking on his feet.
“Caleb?” I ask when he doesn’t say anything.
His head whips toward me. “Whatever you want. I don’t really...”
“No, I want you to choose. Something you’d like.”
“And what if I pick something you don’t like?” He eyes me carefully.
“Doesn’t matter. It can still be fun.” I shrug. “Come on. Pick something.”
“Okay.” His eyes go from the list to me, as if he’s trying to read my mind and choose something he can be sure I’d like. “This one.” He finally points at one of the posters, and I sigh in relief.
“Thank God you didn’t pick a romantic comedy.” I laugh.
His shoulders slump in relief, and he seems a bit too relieved actually, so I wonder if I’ve just put him through a stressful situation.
“Oh, do you like popcorn? Because I do. Let’s get some.” I’m more nervous than a little kid, and I can’t even tell why. It isn’t as if this were my first date ever, and yet it feels like it. I so badly want Caleb to have fun with me that I’m probably going to ruin it. As I dash to get the popcorn, I can see the corners of his lips turn upward. Maybe not everything is lost just yet.
“Did you see that? She brought down like five guys. I wish I could do that,” I say as we emerge from the movie theater. After watching a fast action movie, I can still feel the adrenaline surging through me and my shoulders are no longer tense.
“Have you ever tried? Maybe you can and you don’t even know it.” He teases.
I give him an incredulous look. “What? No! I can barely do a light training routine, let alone take on an armed guy. I’d be dead in like... one nanosecond. What was your favorite part?”
He looks thoughtful for a moment, then grins. “The moment you threw a popcorn at me.”
“Whoa.” I raise my hands up. “That wasn’t... That wasn’t part of the movie.”
“No?” He stops, amusement glinting in his eyes. “I thought it was. I’m sure you could take down a bunch of bad guys with just one popcorn.”
I burst out laughing. “Okay, I shouldn’t have thrown that popcorn at you. I’m sorry, but you said the main couple wouldn’t make it to the end. What was that about?”
“I thought you didn’t like romance. The tragic ending seemed more likely.” His lip twitches a little, and a shadow passes through his eyes.
“No, I said I don’t like romantic comedies, not that I don’t like romance. That’s like a whole different thing. I can’t imagine a movie without a happy ending. That would be so...” I frown, “...depressing.”
He averts his gaze.
“Hey, don’t tell me you believe that love can’t defeat anything?”
He scratches the back of his neck. “I know it can’t.”
“How can you know that?” I gape at him.
“Because I do.” He blinks, then shakes his head. “It doesn’t matter. At least you enjoyed the movie.”
“But...” I don’t want to upset him, so I bite down on my lip to stop myself from asking anything else. Does a disappointment in his love life have anything to do with his current job? I doubt he’d tell me even if I asked. “I’m starving. Wanna join me for dinner?”
“Sure.” He takes out his phone and checks something, then focuses back on me.
“Great.” We walk down the busy street while I’m trying to make up my mind about where to take him. Would he prefer a fancy restaurant or something more familiar? I don’t even bother to ask because I’m sure he’d just tell me to pick whatever I want.
As we pass through another street, I notice a tall man in a black shirt and gray jeans. If I’m not wrong, he’s actually looking at Caleb and me. I’m not sure if the man recognized me or anything, so I quicken my pace.
A couple of moments later, we take another turn, and when I glance over my shoulder, the man is still there; not too close to us, but definitely keeping an eye on us. I grab Caleb’s shirt and pull him toward me. His eyes are wide as we stop, our noses almost touching.
“Someone’s following us,” I whisper, slipping my fingers through Caleb’s hair and pretending I’m just fixing the stray strands.
Caleb’s face is expressionless as he steps away from me and looks right in the direction of the man, who is now standing at one of the corners and pretending to be busy with his phone. Caleb clears his throat, squirming, and I tilt my head.
“Do you know that man?” I ask.
He nods. “He’s... like my bodyguard.”
“What?” I can’t believe my ears. Why in the hell would Caleb need a bodyguard, especially one who looks like a stalker and not a professional? “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I... I didn’t want to worry you. Just ignore him. That’s what I do.” He gives me his best pleasant smile and places a hand on my shoulder. “Let’s go.”
“Why do you need a bodyguard?” I start walking again, feeling the man’s eyes on my back. I’m sure he’s started walking too, even though I can’t see him. Before Caleb can open his mouth to answer, I raise my finger. “Look, I know you want to protect your privacy, and I understand that, but if you need a bodyguard, I need to know why. I might be in danger, too.”
“You’re not in danger. I assure you,” he says.
“I’ll only relax once you tell me why.”
He licks his lips. “He’s there to protect me. In case my clients get ideas that... could endanger my safety.”
A frown line creases my brow. “Do you think you need protection from me?”
“No, that’s not...” He grimaces. “I have many clients, and some of them can get... a little jealous. My bodyguard is here in case someone sees me with you and wants to attack us.”
“Um, okay.” I run my hand through my hair. “I just don’t understand why you keep doing this if it’s so dangerous for you, but hey, that’s none of my business.”
“Thank you for your understanding.” A relieved smile stretches his lips, and I can’t help but keep glancing back at the man. Bodyguard, huh? More like a creeper. Ugh. I’m ecstatic when we reach the small restaurant that has been my long-time favorite. It’s a sweet little place, far from noise and annoying people.
Judging by the look on Caleb’s face, I can tell that he likes it too. As we settle at one of the tables, I’m glad the bodyguard decided to stay and wait outside, although I’m not sure how he’s supposed to protect Caleb if he can’t really be at his side.
“Lilith! Hey!” The waitress waves at me, her smile broadening when she spots Caleb with me. I wave back at her. She comes a moment later with the menus.
“Clary, this is Caleb,” I say while he is scanning the menu. “Hopefully, he’ll be your new regular.”
“Hi.” She grins at Caleb, who nods, then she turns to me. “Want the usual?”
“Yeah.”
“Right away!” she says after she jots down Cale
b’s order and walks away.
Caleb’s eyebrows are raised in question.
“She’s a friend,” I say. “From high school.”
“You come here often?” he asks.
“Yeah. I prefer small, cozy places over big, fancy restaurants. What about you?”
He looks around. “This is perfect.”
I can’t stop the smile from popping up on my lips. “I’m glad you like it. The food is delicious too. You’ll see.”
It’s pretty late once we come out of the restaurant. I’ve managed to get Caleb to try some of my pasta and I’m sure he liked it. As we walk out into the street, I hook my arm through his and we stroll toward the nearby park.
“Have you ever done something like this before with a client?” I ask.
“No. No one ever wanted to pay a crazy sum of money just to be in my company.” He laughs, and I narrow my eyes at him, but my lips are pulled into a smile.
“Are you implying that I’m crazy?”
“Maybe a little.”
“A little? Well, thank you. Such a compliment.” I press myself closer to him. “Oh well, still had an incredible night. I say it was worth it.” I tug him toward one of the benches and we sit down. The air is chilly so I huddle next to Caleb’s warm body and he puts his arm around my shoulders. I don’t even want to acknowledge the presence of his bodyguard in the bushes not far from us, and I hope he can’t hear us.
A woman with a box of roses and trinkets comes our away, a smile plastered on her face. She almost shoves the box in Caleb’s face. “Wanna buy something for the lady?”
I expect him to tell her to go away, but he actually picks something from the box. “How much?” he asks. She raises two fingers in the air, and he takes two dollars out of his pocket and gives them to her.
“Thank you.” She grins at him and trudges off. Caleb turns toward me and offers me a bracelet with tiny blue and green stones.
I look at him. “For me?”
“Yeah,” he says. “It reminds me of your eyes. They briefly go green in the light.”
Hold Me Page 6
