“Please,” Ryan pleaded.
“I’ll think about it, but you need to sleep now.”
“Thank you!” Ryan smiled brightly.
“Good night, Ryan.”
David led the boy to The Shadows.
“What’s going to happen to Ryan?” I asked. I had never met my parents, but I knew what it was like to grow up without them, and I felt a strong bond with the young boy. I tried to picture my father and how I would have wanted him to teach me how to fight, but I also imagined my mother braiding my hair and laughing with me late at night, talking about boys. I would have wanted to tell her everything about Maxime.
“I don’t know,” Maxime said.
“But you—”
“I don’t know! I’m not psychic!” Maxime yelled.
“Well, what are you going to tell Ryan tomorrow?”
“I don’t know!”
“He’s, like, eight! He can’t stay here!”
Maxime didn’t respond. He was still in shock, and I could tell that he was withering away. Nick was right: silence did speak for itself.
Maxime finally spoke, “He said the same thing that I had said when I was trying to create The Shadows. The Shadows came from Andrew’s military forces at Maria. I had told Andrew exactly what Ryan just said to me when I had asked him to let me join his army. Andrew spent a lot of time training me, and when he passed away David helped me get The Shadows going. ”
“I’m sorry,” I said.
“I wasn’t eight. You said he was too young, but no other place would let you fight as a teenager.”
“How old were you when you first experienced war?”
“I shot a laser gun at five.”
I was in total shock. It explained all of his knowledge on warfare, but the thought of losing everything at five years old frightened me. In a way, I had been lucky to have never met my parents, because I had never truly lost them. I hated not knowing them and felt as if a part of me was missing, but I had never been attached to them. I suddenly realized that Maxime and I were similar on many different levels; both of us had lost our families.
“I don’t want Ryan to be like me. If I can help it, I never want him to see a gun. But I can’t say no to him when he’s doing what I did. I don’t know what to do.” Maxime’s voice was trembling, and tears filled his eyes.
I wanted to comfort him, wipe his tears, and tell him that everything was all right.
I couldn’t really remember anything before my eleventh birthday. I had never seen pain, destruction, loss, hunger, or death until a few months ago. Not knowing my parents had eliminated the possibility of losing them, and not having a last name meant that I didn’t have any attachments. I couldn’t lose what I didn’t have.
“I’m sorry,” I said.
“Don’t be ridiculous. It wasn’t your fault.”
“Maybe it was.” I knew it was silly; I didn’t kill his parents, Matthew did, but some part of me wanted to take the guilt off of him, and I needed to know that I wasn’t powerless.
“It wasn’t.”
“What if I could have stopped Matthew? What if I had the opportunity to change his plans?”
“You were seven months and four days old when he murdered my parents. You were ignorant of the matter. You were too young. It wasn’t your fault, and the position he forced upon you is not for the better. It’s not an opportunity.”
“How did you know how old I was?” I gasped.
“Does that matter?”
“I guess not.”
He always avoided my questions, but I couldn’t bring myself to torment him anymore. “How old are you?” I asked. I had guessed that he was around my age, maybe a little older.
“Nineteen.”
I tried to imagine leading a war camp at his age, but couldn’t. He was younger than all of his men, but me. He had spent the last sixteen years of his life as an orphan, almost my entire life.
“What’s the reason for always blaming yourself for everything?” I asked.
“Because I know that it’s my fault.”
“How?”
“It’s complicated, and I’m not going to explain it.” He didn’t sound the least bit annoyed or mad, but he knew that the conversation was serious. “I heard David’s been giving you a hard time lately,” Maxime said, changing the subject.
“I’m not the only one.”
“But you’re the one he’s picking on; you’re the target.”
“I don’t know,” I lied.
“What is he bothering you about?” He was only inches away from me. I had to look up when I spoke. His eyes were a shimmering blue, and I wanted him to hold me.
“My group and I were having fun, practicing, and David wanted to know who lost the fight.” I couldn’t think straight with him so close. He hypnotized me. He could have asked me anything, and I would have answered.
“You lost, didn’t you?” He smiled.
“Yes, I was about to stand forth, but Nick started to argue.” I felt drugged by him.
“That’s typical of Nick.”
“Then we all had to take the consequences, thirty push-ups. I stepped forward today, but so did the rest of the group,” I continued.
“They’ll stand up for you, don’t worry. They’re good guys. You’re in the best group.”
“Thanks.” I smiled back, relieved.
After showering, Maxime walked me to my cabin while telling stories of his crazy adventures with David. One time, they had had an early lesson with Andrew, the head of Maria’s military at the time. Maxime had woken up on time, but David’s bed was empty. He had figured David was at Alice’s house, so he ran over there, and to avoid running into her parents, he decided to go to the back of her house. It was extremely dark, so when he had jumped over the fence, he landed on a bush. As he climbed to her window, he had knocked softly, careful not to wake everyone up. She had screamed and her father ran upstairs, only to find David in her room. Maxime and David jumped from her window, sprinted toward the fence, and on their way over, David’s pants had gotten caught and completely ripped down his leg.
Maxime had a lot of stories to share. We laughed a lot but tried to keep the noise down.
When we arrived, I turned to face him and sunk into his pure, blue eyes. I wanted him to hold me, to kiss me. I waited mute, hoping, wishing.
“David is on watch duty tonight in this area, so he’ll be checking on you from time to time,” he announced.
“It’s about time that you caught up with your sleep,” I told him playfully.
“Who said I was getting any?” he said as he leaned in closer, his hair brushing my ear.
“Good night, Maxime,” I whispered, as he walked into the darkness.
Chapter 19
That morning at breakfast I’d learned that there were ninety-two new members of The Shadows. They had all come from Jarva and knew each other. I couldn’t remember all of their names or faces, but they all had the same expression of regret, fear, and grief in their eyes.
They were going to spend the day building their cabins and getting their belongings. They would be split up into groups the following day. Although they needed a place to sleep, nothing was rushed, and getting enough supplies would take a long time.
Ryan sat between Maxime and I at the table. The new members had put different tables around the main long one because there weren’t enough seats. Ryan had the biggest appetite. I didn’t know where he stored all of the food, but no one else seemed to notice. His friends from Jarva even said that he wasn’t eating as much as he used to.
It was very cold, so body-warmers had been handed out to the newcomers. Frost covered the ground, cracking with every footstep, giving off a soft and delicate rhythm.
Maxime took me aside with Ryan and told me about their compromise.
“He’ll stay here for some time shadowing you,” Maxime said, trying to sound casual, but his voice was tentative and regretful. “He’ll learn to defend himself but will stay away fro
m the weapons and hunting. I’ll watch him while you’re out hunting. He won’t participate in the competitions but can attend their training. You should as well. He’ll leave when he’s ready.”
I nodded my head in agreement. I didn’t know why Maxime had come up with this idea, but I wasn’t ready to debate with him, especially not in front of Ryan.
“Better get a move on,” I said to Ryan.
It was hard to find a good clearing in The Shadows because of the huge augmentation of its population, but we settled near Maxime’s cabin.
Ryan wasn’t as ignorant as I had expected. He had learned to swordfight and loved virtual martial arts movies; therefore, he knew a couple of moves. We started with physical hand-to-hand combat. I explained how he should plant his feet. He already had a good, strong starting stance and didn’t hesitate to attack. I was very impressed by his skill. I taught him a couple of punches, kicks, and defensive moves. He hadn’t lied; he learned very quickly.
Once we arrived at class, David introduced Ryan to my group and told us that our schedules were going to change, and starting tomorrow our group would be larger. Nick showed up a couple minutes late, but David knew better than to start arguing with him and ignored his tardiness.
David dueled with Ryan, and I fought Orion and Keith again. It was a lot easier than the previous day. I broke their bond, rhythm, and probably some small bones in a matter of minutes. They were actually very weak, but their anger was uncontrollably strong. I was very grateful when class ended. I was tired of fighting them over and over again.
As we headed to our next class, Ryan said, “I need to go to the restroom.”
“I’ll take him. It’s not like I can do much today anyway,” Nick offered, and they left me before I could respond.
“Hey, Alex! Can we walk with you?” Keith asked. I wanted to yell “NO!” I was tired of them following me around and we didn’t get along, but I gave in. My heart deteriorated as I thought of Maxime. I had made a promise. Orion and Keith were suspicious in his eyes, and I was walking with them alone in the forest away from The Shadows.
We were silent as the wind bit our noses and whipped our cheeks. The frost-covered leaves cracked under our feet. The body-warmer and my boots kept me warm.
And then it happened.
A blow to the right side of my head.
I slammed into a tree, then fell to the ground, my staff rolling away. A throbbing pain took over. I couldn’t think straight. I closed my eyes and tried to catch my breath, but someone punched my back around the kidneys. Rough hands grabbed me and slammed my chest against a tree. Someone grabbed my hands, positioned them above my head, and started to search me. I wanted to turn around and kick the hands that were running along my hips. I couldn’t see who my aggressor was, but I guessed that it was Keith.
Another hit to my back, and I was violently turned around, my spine smashing against the tree. I stood face-to-face with Orion. Keith stood behind him with a laser gun pointed at me. Orion took my body-warmer and threw it next to my staff.
All this time and Maxime was right . . . Orion searched me again in silence, while Keith and I glared at each other. When Orion knelt down to search my knees, I kneed his nose and hid behind the tree before Keith could shoot me. Orion cursed, and Keith was yelling at him. My heart pounded faster and faster as I heard them approaching. I didn’t know where to go. Keith had a gun, but Orion was weaponless. I would rather face Orion, but I didn’t know who was on my left and who was on my right. I could hear them closing in and my lungs tightened. I was running out of time and had to act quickly. I decided to go to my left.
I turned and was greeted at gunpoint. I quickly spun around, hoping I still had time to run, but a strong fist slammed into my jaw sending me against the tree. Orion punched me again, as a jolting pain vibrated through my cranium.
“Not the face; we need him to speak,” Keith said.
Orion punched me in the abdomen. Pain flowed throughout my body. Every blow cut off my breathing.
“Tie him up. You’ve done enough,” Keith ordered.
“He broke my nose!” Orion was furious as blood dripped down his face. Flames burned in his emerald eyes.
“Just tie him up. You can continue later,” Keith said.
Finally, Orion pushed me against the tree, the bark scraping my cheeks. He pulled my hands behind my back and tied a rope tightly around my wrists, cutting off my circulation. He then turned me around and pushed me to the ground. He yanked under my armpit, forcing me to sit up on my knees. He kicked me in the stomach a couple of times, and all I could do was lie there like a wounded animal. Every blow was more painful, more brutal, more damaging.
Finally, he stopped.
“Okay, Alex. Here is how it’s going to work: we ask the questions and you answer truthfully. Pain pays for every lie,” Keith said.
My eyes were drenched in tears. Keith paced in front of me with his gun pointed at my heart. Orion stood behind him holding three shiny daggers. They all had a curved, silver blade and black handle, but the precious stones connecting the two parts differed from red to blue to gold.
“Let’s start off with a simple question: What is Matthew’s plan?”
I blinked as my eyes widened with confusion. I didn’t have the slightest idea of how to answer that question. Keith kicked my stomach, then repeated the question. I twitched with pain. I couldn’t answer his question.
“I don’t know,” I said truthfully.
His foot met my abdomen again, only with more force.
This went on for a couple of minutes until Orion stepped in. He squatted and looked me in the eyes. I flinched as he raised his hand, afraid of what he was going to do. He lifted my chin, then turned to Keith and said, “He definitely has violet eyes.” Orion then turned me around, pulled the top of my left collar down to reveal my shoulder. “I don’t see a scar, but judging by the looks of it, it was healed. It is definitely him.”
“You might as well answer us. We have all the time we need. No one’s coming,” said Keith.
It dawned on me that I hadn’t cried for help. I tried to, but my call was weak and pathetic as my ribs crushed my lungs. I had never been able to scream. Orion darted toward me and plunged his blue dagger into my right side. A burst of burning, stinging, sparkling pain unleashed like a million sharp, broken shards of shattered glass. I could hardly move. Warm blood stained my clothes and the earth. Cold tears cleaned my cheeks.
“What was that for?” asked Keith irritated.
“You said, ‘not the face.’ He had to learn his lesson. Don’t worry. It’s not deep or fatal. He’ll live . . . for now.” Orion’s expressionless response frightened me as he wiped his dagger clean of my blood on his knee. “Why can’t we just kill him? It’s not like we’re getting very far with the interrogation.”
I was gasping for air. A burning sensation ran down my body with every breath. I shut my eyes, trying to escape from reality. I wished and dreamed that Maxime would appear and save me. He had been right, and I desperately needed him here. I wanted to see those large, deep, blue eyes.
“If you can’t do it, I will,” Orion said.
I had lost. It was over. I would die completely helpless.
“I can do it. I can’t shoot him; it isn’t good enough. Hand me your dagger,” Keith’s voice rang with vengeance.
I was scared. I didn’t know why he wanted revenge so badly. What had I done?
“No. If he’s going to die by my dagger, I’m going to be the one slowly slicing his throat,” Orion said.
I heard a gun reload, so I opened my eyes.
“Slowly,” repeated Keith. He stood behind Orion with the gun aiming at me. Orion held his red-gemmed dagger in his right hand.
I was trembling from the cold and fear. This was it. I wasn’t afraid of death, but of how I was going to die.
Orion looked at me and sneered, “You deserve worse.”
I tried to quickly back away, but he grabbed my arm and jerked me back into
place. My stomach hurt too much to pull away from his grip. When he eased up, I put a foot between us, but I was too weak to kick him. Instead, he yanked my leg down and leaned his knee on both of my legs, keeping them down and out of his way.
I didn’t understand what his motives were, why I was about to die by their hands, but it didn’t matter anymore.
He punched my abdomen again. I clenched my jaw, hoping to calm down the flaming sensation inside of me. I shut my eyes tightly as if trying to hold back my tears, but it was useless.
“You do feel pain. What about regret? Is that a part of you? Or is your heart too rock-solid to care about what you’ve done and planned?” Orion was tormenting me as he leaned with his entire weight on my legs.
“I don’t understand,” I muttered, though I knew it was useless.
Another blow to the stomach. My muscles tensed; my lips trembled.
“Most people repent when they know that they are going to die, not lie. Get up!” Orion screamed. He stepped back and relief ran through my shins from the weight being pulled off, but I was still too weak to move.
“Get up!” he yelled.
“I can’t,” I mumbled.
Orion ripped me up aggressively. I felt everything drain from me— energy, blood, life, but not pain.
He stood behind me, supporting me with his arms. I was getting dizzy. His blond curls lightly brushed my cheeks as he wrapped his arms around my abdomen and throat. He held the red-gemmed dagger inches from my face. I felt the cold blade gently rest on the left side of my neck inline with my jawbone and ear. I closed my eyes as the icy blade just rested there, elongating the torture. I wanted it to end.
“So you have a heart. It’s beating, surprisingly. I thought it was ice. You’re afraid. I love hearing your faint heart beat so quickly, pumping blood through all of your veins. Do you feel it? Fear. It slowly takes over. Something you’ve seen in all of your victims’ dying eyes, but never cared about. The last emotion they felt is the last emotion you’ll ever feel.” Orion’s words slithered into my ears. My knees weakened.
I closed my eyes.
I saw Lyli’s soft smile. There was a murky memory of us laughing late at night when we were supposed to be asleep. Then I saw a bright image of Maxime’s magnificent blue eyes, his warm hands, the smell of pinecones and honeysuckles . . .
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