‘That would be… okay.’ His smile turned sadder. ‘Goodbye, Lily.’
And then he was gone, taking the last seven years of her life with him. Lily let out a long breath, and headed into the kitchen to find Cora and Rhys.
Maybe that was the last thing she had to do before she started her new life. She’d clear her stuff from the cottage tomorrow, and then she’d be truly on her own.
Just like she wanted to be.
* * * *
Lily spent the rest of the week thinking and planning. During the day, she worked at the shop, losing herself in the concentration required to make her jewellery. She had two commissions for engagement rings and wedding bands, including Charlie Frost’s, and it felt good to focus entirely on them for hours at a time, making them perfect for the people who’d hopefully wear them for the rest of their lives.
Just because she’d discovered that marriage wasn’t right for her didn’t mean she couldn’t appreciate the sentiment in others.
Which was just as well, she decided on Saturday morning as she stood in front of the boxes of clothes and accessories stacked up in Cora’s spare room, trying to find something to wear for Tessa and Jack’s wedding. She’d gone back to Edward’s cottage like she’d promised, relieved to find the place empty, and retrieved as many of her belongings as she could fit in the car. She’d have to go back again – she hadn’t realized how much stuff she had there. But with Cora’s spare room filled to bursting, it might have to wait until she found somewhere else to live. Just as well that all her work materials and tools had been moved to the shop once she’d signed the lease; Edward had always hated them cluttering up the dining room, anyway.
Only problem was, when hurriedly shoving things into bags at the cottage, formal wear hadn’t seemed like an essential must-have. Apparently she’d blanked on the two more weddings before Cora’s in her panic to get out of there. Jeans, T-shirts, the odd denim skirt and light sweater, absolutely. Flip flops and trainers, sure. Heels and a nice dress? Not a chance.
Unless…
Digging deeper into the pile of boxes Edward had brought from her mum’s house, Lily found bags of clothes bundled up, lost to memory. Dragging them out into the daylight, she stuck in a hand and pulled out armfuls of material – some slippery and silky, some light and see-through, some stiff and structured. All probably six years or more out of date, and all more suited to her eighteen-year-old self. But maybe there’d be something in there, somewhere.
An hour later, when Alex rang the doorbell, Lily smoothed down the vibrant green, cream and blue silkscreen print skirt she’d last worn to a party when visiting Cora in university, straightened the cream silk camisole she’d bought as an attempt to seduce some guy in sixth form, and fastened the pearl buttons of the sensible crew neck cardigan her mother had bought her for her seventeenth birthday over it. Slipping her feet into the dark green heels Cora had given her for Christmas that same year, Lily took one last glance at herself in the mirror and gave thanks for the fact that she’d worn her clothes baggy as a teenager. Now, they fitted perfectly. They might not have the same about-to-fall-off-her-body appeal she’d gone for then, but she looked grownup, like she’d planned the outfit. And, best of all, she looked utterly herself.
Alex’s face as she opened the door confirmed that she’d made a good choice. But it was hard for her gaze to linger on his face when the rest of him was packaged so perfectly in a charcoal suit that showcased his broad shoulders, narrow hips and long legs. His tie even harmonised with her shoes, like they’d planned it, and the creamy rose in his button hole was a perfect match for her camisole.
‘My, aren’t we going to be the pair,’ she said, her words a little breathier than intended. ‘We’re getting good at this wedding buddies thing.’
Alex didn’t answer. From the way his gaze hovered just below her collarbones, Lily imagined he was focusing in on the wisp of silk peeking out from the open neck of her cardigan. Or, more likely, the way her breasts curved above it.
A warm, powerful feeling swept through her. She might not want to get married, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t have fun. She was only twenty-six. She’d spent seven years with a man who didn’t know her. Wasn’t now exactly the time to discover who she was again? To get out there and meet people, make friends. And the way Alex looked at her… Well, that gave her the confidence she needed. She wouldn’t be attending this wedding as Poor Lily whose relationship had collapsed, like she had at Beatrice’s. He’d almost kissed her at Carrie and Nate’s wedding, a week ago, for all his talk about settling down and finding true love. Alex might think that was what he wanted, but Lily knew better. She’d seen the way he looked at her.
Avoiding him hadn’t worked. One glimpse of him and she was craving his touch. So maybe she needed a different plan. An all-new-Lily seduction plan.
It might be one of the stupidest ideas she’d ever had, but maybe that was a good thing. Maybe it was time to stop trying so hard to be grownup Lily who never let go. Maybe she could learn something from being the Lily Alex remembered. Wild, teenage Lily, who went after what she wanted.
And God, she wanted Alex. Especially in that suit. Not forever, but for one night, maybe she could get what she wanted. If she had the courage to go after it.
‘Just one moment,’ she said, turning away to apply a last coat of lipstick in the hall mirror. When she looked back, Alex had just about managed to raise his eyes to look at her face. She beamed at him. ‘Let’s go.’
* * * *
By the time he closed the car door and started the engine, Alex already knew he’d be leaving the car in Aberarian for the night and getting Cora to drive him down to pick it up the next day. Somehow, this was all Cora’s fault, even if he couldn’t find the justification yet. The way Lily looked… He was going to need a drink if he had any hope of making it through the day – and the evening – without holding her to him and kissing her senseless. Or stripping off that sensible cardigan to reveal whatever wisp of silk she was wearing below…
‘Do you know where we’re going?’ Lily asked, and Alex realized belatedly that he hadn’t a clue.
As he looked across, Lily reached down into the foot well of the passenger side to retrieve her bag from by her feet, and her skirt slipped higher up her long, pale legs. Alex swallowed and looked away. He was not going to seduce his cousin’s best friend. No matter how tempting she made it.
‘Alex?’ Glancing back, he saw Lily waving a wedding invitation at him. ‘There’s a map. Want me to navigate?’
‘Sure. You’re in charge.’
The smile she gave him was more than a little scary. Alex had a feeling that not just the journey, but this whole day might be totally out of his hands.
Tessa and Jack had elected for a very quiet registry office wedding, followed by a very rowdy celebration on the beach, and dinner at some up-and-coming seafood restaurant. He should be feeling relaxed, Alex thought. It was the first wedding they’d attended together where they both knew the bride and groom. Tessa and Jack had been wildly welcoming to him at the Mill, and he’d actually been invited in his own right, rather than as Lily’s plus one. He knew lots of the people in attendance; he didn’t have to spend the day explaining his lack of relationship to Lily; he wasn’t under pressure to work, because Jack’s cousin was in charge of photography for the day, and it wasn’t even the formal sort of occasion that could set his teeth on edge.
So why was he so bloody tense?
It was Lily, he decided, watching her stride barefoot across the sand, shoes dangling from her fingers, to give Tessa a wide smile and a hug. Tessa’s tight copper curls bobbed as she grinned and chatted away, her wispy white dress floating around her ankles.
Watching Lily interact with her friends, from the moment they all met at the registry office, it had almost felt like he was there with the old Lily again. And he was pretty sure he wasn’t the only one surprised by her sudden re-emergence. He’d caught a few of the other guests looking at
her in astonishment, especially when she’d brushed away questions about how she was doing so casually, like she hadn’t just ripped her own life apart. Like watching other people promise to love each other forever was easy when you’d just given all that up. A very different response from the week before.
And as for Alex himself… ‘He’s been great. We’ve been wedding buddies, the last few weeks,’ he’d heard Lily say. Which was only the truth, after all. But the tiny, secret smile she’d shot his way when she said it certainly hinted at more.
Only question was, who was the show for? Was this all to convince her friends that she was fine, that she didn’t need Edward, that she’d moved on? Or was it really to let Alex know she had plans for him later?
Alex dismissed that thought before he could examine it too closely. Whatever her schemes, he just needed to keep his mind on the plan. Be a good friend to Lily. Help her. Do not seduce her. Really, how hard could that be?
Jack came to stand beside him, his feet bare and damp under his kilt. The groom and his brothers had all been having photos taken at the shoreline, water lapping up to their knees. Alex had filed the idea away for future reference. It was interesting, watching another photographer work. Not to mention a great distraction from wondering what was going on with Lily.
‘Lily seems in a good mood today,’ Jack said, giving Alex a sideways look. ‘Your doing?’
Alex held his hands up. ‘Nothing to do with me, I’m afraid. I’m just the wedding buddy.’
Jack didn’t look entirely convinced. ‘Tessa said she’d cleared her stuff from Edward’s cottage this week. Maybe that’s it.’
Had she? Why hadn’t Alex known that? Because she hadn’t stopped by all week, of course. He’d thought she’d been avoiding him. But then, today, she seemed closer than ever. ‘That’s good. A proper break.’
‘Yeah. Apparently he thought she was going back to him. Expected her to show up on the doorstep to beg him for another chance, any moment.’ Jack shook his head. ‘I thought she would too, at the start. But now… She’s better off without him. Happier, I think.’
‘I think she is,’ Alex agreed, but his mind was working overtime. Was that it? Was she trying to prove to Edward, and to everyone else, that she’d moved on? And was he part of that plan?
Jack clapped him on the shoulder. ‘It’s really good to see her happy,’ he said, words heavy with meaning. But was it a warning not to ruin that happiness by getting involved, or to stick around and make her happier? Because either way, Alex wasn’t sure at all that it was what Lily wanted. Never mind what he himself wanted.
All too, too confusing. He needed a drink.
‘We’re just about done with the photos,’ Jack said. ‘Help me round up the rabble and get them to the restaurant?’
Alex nodded, happy to have something to do. Something that wasn’t wondering what on earth Lily was up to.
* * * *
Lily bounced through the door to StarFish, grinning when she saw Charlie Frost welcoming Tessa and Jack to the restaurant. He raised a hand and waved when he spotted her.
‘Friend of yours?’ Alex asked from behind her, close enough that she could feel the warmth of him, after the chilly summer wind on the beach.
‘He commissioned an engagement ring recently,’ she explained, glancing around to see if she could spot the famous Mia from Charlie’s description. No one there looked quite right, though.
Charlie had pushed together a number of tables to make a great, long one for everyone to sit around. Even so, it was a bit of a squeeze, and Lily found herself pressed close against Alex’s thigh. She smiled up at him and tried not to laugh at the desperate look in his eyes.
Oh, this was going to be fun.
From Cora’s stories, she knew Alex’s reputation, knew he was used to smiling and having women fall at his feet. It wouldn’t take much, she reckoned, to make him loosen up his rules about his new life. He just needed the right sort of persuasion.
It was strange, watching Alex interact with everyone from the Mill. Tessa and Jack’s families were all up at the top end of the table, leaving the friends to be rowdy at the other end. Alex made easy conversation with them all, charming them effortlessly, as usual. But what surprised Lily most was how much he knew about each of them. He conversed knowledgeably about their businesses, which she’d expect since he’d been photographing their stock and looking at their accounts for a few weeks now, but also about their families, their personal lives. She hadn’t realized how much a part of the place he’d become.
How much a part of her life he’d become.
Sinking back into her chair, Lily toyed with her dessert spoon, wondering exactly how she’d let that happen. And realizing, for the first time that day, how stupid her plan was. Yes, it had been fun to flirt and tease Alex all day. Fun to wear clothes than reminded her of her wilder former self. Fun to imagine she could be that Lily again.
But she wasn’t. She’d grown up, and grown better. She didn’t want to tempt Alex into kissing her just so she knew what it felt like. He wasn’t just Cora’s cousin any more. He was part of the Mill, had made friends there, and she didn’t want to ruin that for him by indulging her fantasies.
Except… The way he’d looked at her on the terrace of the Avalon Inn the week before meant she knew he wanted her too. Wanted to see what this was as much as she did. Even though it couldn’t be what either of them were looking for in their future. But maybe there was a grownup answer to the problem. A way to get it out of their systems.
She hoped so. Otherwise she thought she might go crazy.
Alex leant back in his chair, his thigh pressing against the length of hers, and she couldn’t hide the sharp breath she took in.
‘You okay?’ he asked, and she nodded.
‘The food was great, wasn’t it?’ Dinner. That was a safe subject, surely.
‘Delicious.’ His gaze hovered around her collarbones, high enough for her not to feel objectified, but low enough that she wondered what his mouth would feel like, kissing down her throat.
With dinner over, people had started to drift away from the table, making use of the small area Charlie had cleared for dancing, or settling in smaller groups at round tables around the edges of the restaurant. But Lily couldn’t move. Couldn’t shift away from Alex, even though there was no longer a need to sit so close. Couldn’t think of anyone else she’d rather be talking to. Couldn’t remember why she shouldn’t lean forward and kiss him.
She broke away, turning to watch the dancing for a moment while she recovered her composure. How had this gone so wrong?
‘Did you want to dance?’ Alex asked, stretching an arm around the back of her chair to give himself a better view of the dance floor. Lily tried not to shiver as his shirtsleeve brushed against the bare skin of her shoulders, exposed by the cut of the camisole. Why had she taken her cardigan off?
‘No. Thanks.’ She gave him a brief smile. ‘Anyway, I don’t think dancing was in the wedding buddies remit.’ Although maybe it should have been. Just the thought of his arms wrapped around her, as they had been at the Avalon, holding her close and tight… Lily swallowed. Maybe it was time to stop with the wine.
‘Wedding buddies,’ Alex echoed. ‘Tell me, is that what we’re still doing here?’
Lily’s insides tensed. ‘Of course. What else would we be doing?’ Apparently it was one thing to decide to seduce Alex, another to actually go through with it. Now she was here, all her doubts and fears were flooding back. And poor Alex looked even more confused than she felt.
‘I don’t know.’ Sighing, Alex leant back again, sinking down in his chair. Lily’s shoulders felt cold where his arm had been, and she reached for her cardigan, slipping it back on.
After a long pause, Alex said, ‘Jack told me you cleared your stuff out of the cottage.’
‘I did. Edward… He brought round some stuff from my mum’s. Turned out he was expecting me to go back to him. That’s why he didn’t bring any stuff from t
he cottage.’ Her mother, she didn’t add, obviously had no such illusions about Lily moving back in with her. She was probably just thrilled to have her dressing room back.
‘You told him you weren’t?’ Alex guessed.
‘Of course!’ Lily sighed. ‘We talked, a bit. He’s joining a dating site.’
‘Is that why you’re so… old-school Lily today?’
Lily laughed. ‘Old-school Lily?’
With a grin, Alex shrugged. ‘I don’t know. It seemed appropriate. You’re just so much more… free today. Happy and bouncy and chatting to everyone. Like you’re not watching what you say any more. Like you don’t care what people think.’
Which was the exact opposite of how she’d been for the last seven years. ‘It’s the clothes,’ Lily said, plucking at her skirt. ‘They made me remember who I used to be. I thought it might be fun to take her out and try her on again.’
‘Which explains the flirting,’ Alex said, drily. ‘I thought, after last weekend, you were putting some distance between us. Then today…’
‘I know,’ Lily said. ‘I’m sorry. I just… You nearly kissed me last weekend. And I know that would lead us down a whole path of stupid. I’m not what you want and I don’t want love at all! But…’
‘But?’ Lily watched him as he lifted his glass again, her gaze fixed on his long, tanned fingers. What would they feel like against her skin? A heat rushed through her at the thought, and her breath caught. Looking away, she caught his eyes, speculative and cool. Was he thinking the same thing? Was he wondering if they couldn’t just have one night? She bit her lip. What would old Lily have done? What would she have said?
More importantly, what did new Lily want?
Sucking in a deep breath she stared into his eyes and said, ‘I can’t stop thinking about how it would feel to kiss you.’
Chapter Twelve
She was trying to kill him. That was all there was to it. Her cunning plan was to drive him insane with lust. It was the only logical explanation.
Unable to break away from her gaze, from her green, green eyes, Alex blinked slowly and fumbled for his wine. ‘What, exactly, do you mean by that?’
Summer of Love Page 14
