“This means the world to me. It’s not useless. It’s not—”
“Not another word,” Pa roared from the wagon seat. “You lived in this world for twenty-two years without knowing how to read. Got along fine. Why the hell do you think you need to learn now?” He didn’t wait for Callie to answer. “Soon as we stop, you take that book back.”
“Yes, sir.” Whatever had possessed her to think Ma and Pa would approve?
She should have known. She turned away and walked to the other side of the wagon, away from the others, where she trudged along, head bowed, disappointment weighing heavily on her shoulders. It hadn’t occurred to her they would disapprove, but then, why wouldn’t they? Why do I need to learn how to read? Such foolishness. She would not cry. Long ago, she’d learned tears got her nowhere. She must accept whatever fate life had in store and make the best of it.
She felt a tug at her skirt. Tommy was looking up at her. Usually, his expression was unreadable, as if he wasn’t aware of his surroundings, but now he wore a worried frown.
She forced a smile. “I’m just a little tired, Tommy, but everything’s fine.”
She kept smiling, even though she had to return the McGuffey’s Reader to Florida.
* * * *
The train stopped early when they encountered a clear, gently flowing stream, perfect for washing clothes, as well as a nearby meadow full of plush, sweet grass for the animals. When Callie finished her chores, she started toward Florida’s wagon, book in hand. Before she got there, she passed Luke’s campsite. He was there, building a fire. She would walk right by and hope he didn’t see her.
“Hello, Callie, going for a lesson?”
She stopped in her tracks. He had spotted her and there was no way out. “I’m returning the book. I won’t be taking any lessons.”
“What?” He walked to where she stood. His eyebrows rose inquiringly as he faced her. “What do you mean?”
Being near him made her acutely aware of how overwhelmingly masculine he was. No man had ever made her knees go weak like they were doing now. No man had ever gotten her so disturbed her mind went blank and she had to grope for words. “I…I don’t need to learn how to read and write. It’s just…a waste of my time.”
“The hell it is. You were dying to learn. Now all of a sudden it’s a waste of time? I don’t believe you.”
His strong reaction surprised her. “Are you angry?”
He drew a deep breath, as if trying to quell some emotion welling within himself. “How old are you?”
“Twenty-two.”
“You’re a grown woman. Can’t you make your own decisions?”
She wouldn’t pretend she didn’t understand his meaning. “Ma and Pa think I shouldn’t be wasting my time with something I don’t need. Maybe they’re right. Maybe—”
“You know damn well they’re not right. Why do you let them treat you that way?”
“Because I love them very much and owe them a lot.”
“That’s crazy. Why can’t you stand up to them?”
It was hard to think straight when she was so close to such a powerful man, one so very sure of himself. For a moment, she couldn’t speak. Even when she could, what would she say? She wished she could run away, but pride made her look him square in the eye. “You’ve asked a question I can’t answer except that’s the way it’s always been.”
“Then maybe you should think about—” The tenseness in his jaw relaxed. It was like he was trying to calm himself down. His mouth eased into a smile. “I have no right to tell you what to do, but I suggest you give some thought to what you want in this life. Maybe you should consider the possibility you want more than to be the Whitakers’ slave for the rest of your days.”
Before she could answer, a rider drew up. Luke was needed somewhere. “Got to go.” He glanced down at the book in her hand. “Don’t take it back yet. Think about what I said.”
She was speechless.
Luke swing onto his horse and rode away.
Raising the book, she regarded the cover through eyes filled with tears. McGuffey’s Reader. It might be old and tattered, but for the briefest of time, it held the key to her most heartfelt wish. And now… What did Luke say? I suggest you give some thought to what you want in this life. Maybe she should take his advice. Why shouldn’t she learn to read if she wanted to? On the other hand…after all these years of obedience, how could she defy her stepparents? Imagining their wrath, her stomach tightened with anxiety. Ma was bad enough, but how could she face the bone-chilling anger Pa was sure to heap upon her head? On the other hand…
She so badly wanted to learn. Was it worth the risk?
What shall I do?
She made up her mind and headed back toward her wagon.
When Ma saw Callie, she inclined her head disapprovingly. “What’s that in your hand? Didn’t I tell you to return that book?”
Never in her life had she defied Ma. She swallowed with difficulty and finally found her voice. “I’m not going to return it.”
A brittle silence followed, during which Ma simply stared at her, like she couldn’t believe her ears. “You’re disobeying me? Am I hearing you right?”
“I don’t want to disobey you, but I do so want to learn to read. I promise I will in no way neglect my chores.”
“What’s this?” Pa came around the wagon. The sight of his angry face made her want to turn and run. “Did I hear you say you’re disobeying your stepmother?”
Panic welled in her throat. She would admit she’d been foolish—beg forgiveness. Luke’s words came back to her. You might want more than to be the Whitakers’ slave for the rest of your days. No! She didn’t want to be a slave. She wanted to learn to read and, by all that was holy, she would, despite God-only-knew-what might be the dreadful consequences. She pressed McGuffey’s Reader to her heart and held on tight. “I don’t mean to defy you, but this is important to me. I’m going to learn to read and write. I don’t care what you say.”
Ma gasped. Pa’s mouth dropped open in disbelief. They looked at each other, signaling their astonishment that their up-to-now obedient stepdaughter dared rebel.
Callie took advantage of their shocked silence. “You don’t have to worry. I’ll get my chores done, like always.”
“No you won’t,” Ma retorted. “You’ll turn lazy. You’ll be off to Mrs. Sawyer’s every chance you get, having a high old time for yourself while the rest of us suffer because your work doesn’t get done.”
“That’s not so.” Despite Callie’s fears, Ma’s words sparked her anger. “How could you think such a thing? How could you even imply I’d turn lazy?” She had never complained about the tremendous amount of work she did, but now, like the force of a raging river, her resentment came tumbling out. “From dawn to dusk and beyond, I cook, I clean, and I mend. I wash the clothes for all of us because you can’t do a thing and Lydia and Nellie are supposedly too fragile. When have I shirked my chores? When have I been lazy? Name one single time.”
Now it was Ma’s mouth that dropped open. “I’m not saying you’ve ever been lazy, Callie. What I’m saying is—”
“What you’re saying is, you want to keep me ignorant.” Callie clutched the book tighter to her bosom. “That’s not going to happen. I will have my lessons from Mrs. Sawyer. I will also do my work, just as before, and that’s the way it’s going to be.” Astounded at the words of defiance that had just left her mouth, she paused. She was in for it now. What would they do?
Pa’s eyes grew hard. “I should throw you out for talking to your stepmother that way.”
“Throw me out?” Callie could almost laugh if her situation weren’t so dire. “Throw me out from where? From under the wagon? From out of the tent where I’m allowed a cramped little space in the corner?”
To Callie’s amazement, Ma placed a restraining hand on her husband’s arm. “We had best not throw her out, Caleb. She does work hard. To tell the truth, what
with Lydia and Nellie being so sickly, I could hardly do without her.”
“Suit yourself.” Pa glared at Callie. “Take your lessons then, but be sure your work gets done.” He walked away, obviously anxious to distance himself from all the unpleasantness.
“You heard him,” Ma said. “As long as you keep up your chores—”
“You know I will.”
“Then you have my permission.” Ma turned on her heel and walked away. It was as if she, too, was anxious to escape a losing battle.
For a long moment, Callie stood where she was, stunned at her victory. Hard to believe all her fears were for nothing. All she’d had to do was stand up for herself, explain how she’d felt, and both her stepparents had eventually agreed with hardly a murmur. Unbelievable! Now, looking back, she couldn’t imagine what she’d been so frightened about. She inhaled a deep breath and raised her chin. I stood up for myself. How shockingly bold. If she ever had another occasion to assert herself, she’d remember this small moment of triumph. She would also remember the man who gave her the courage to rebel. Now, more than ever, her heart did a flip-flop at the thought of him. Thank you, Luke. How will I ever get you off my mind?
* * * *
During the following week, the train made steady progress up the Little Blue Valley toward the Platte River. Callie began to see buffalo and other big game, including herds of Pronghorn antelope prized for their flesh, which tasted like the finest mutton. Andy and Len, who fancied themselves great hunters, had set out to shoot one but failed. The elusive animals, known for their beauty, grace, and speed, seemed to know the exact range of their guns. Much to the young men’s frustration, they never got close enough for a decent shot. The company rejoiced when they reached the banks of the Platte River, knowing they’d safely put three hundred and sixteen miles behind them since Independence. That night, when Callie visited the Sawyers’ campfire, she could have burst with pride when Florida exclaimed, “You’ve done it! In a week, you’ve learn the entire alphabet, A to Z. You should be very proud.”
“I think I know Lesson One. Want to hear?”
“Of course.”
Callie opened the primer. The page contained a picture of a dog at the top and words beneath. Pointing to each word with her finger, she read, “The…dog…ran.”
“Perfect. See, you’re reading already. Try Lesson Two.”
Callie turned the page and again traced her finger over the words. “The…cat…is…on…the…mat.”
Luke sat down beside her. “I knew you could do it. You’ve come a long way in just a week.”
Callie’s face warmed with pleasure. “They’re not just funny-looking marks on a page anymore.” Her family had pretty much ignored her efforts to read, so Luke’s and Florida’s praise made her feel doubly pleased. This was the first chance she’d had to talk to him since the day she defied Ma and Pa, all thanks to him. “I took your advice, you know.”
A wry smile crossed his face. “How hard was it?”
“Not as hard as I thought.” She described how, at first, she’d been worried, and then how surprised she’d been when Ma and Pa gave in with hardly a struggle. “I kept my word. I’m still doing all the work. They have nothing to complain about.”
“So I’ve noticed.”
Had she detected a touch of irony?
Apparently Florida had, too. “Don’t mind Luke, honey. It’s just he doesn’t like to see you taken advantage of. Neither do I.”
“I’m not. My family has been good to me. It’s the least I can do. Maybe you can’t see it, but they’re really wonderful people.”
She was surprised to see both Florida and Luke try to suppress their laughter.
“There are some of us who don’t think so,” Florida replied. “There are some who think you work far too hard while your stepmother and those two fancy princesses of hers don’t work near hard enough.” She bit her lip. “Uh-oh, I’ve said too much.”
“Yes you have, Sis. It wouldn’t be the first time.” Luke cast an apologetic glance at Callie. “Don’t mind us. We speak out of turn because we like you and don’t like to see you taken for granted.”
“I can take care of myself.”
“Of course you can. You’ve got a lot of spunk, more than you realize. I’d like to see you use it more often.”
Florida spoke up. “You’re also a lot smarter than you realize, too. I’m amazed at how fast you’re learning to read.”
Callie didn’t know how to answer. She wasn’t accustomed to flattery of any kind. No one had ever called her smart before.
Florida went on, “Why haven’t we seen you at the nightly campfires?”
Oh, no. They’d gone from one uncomfortable subject to another. Callie chose her words carefully. “I’ve wanted to come, but my chores keep me so busy there’s never time.”
“Humph!” Florida got an angry gleam in her eye. “Lydia and Nellie always find the time. Why can’t you?”
If Florida only knew. Every night she heard the music and laughter from the campfire. She yearned to go, but Ma always found some last-minute chores for her to do, and by the time she finished, it was too late. And besides, she always had Tommy to feed and put to bed. Florida was right. Lydia and Nellie attended every gathering and always managed to have a wonderful time. Nellie, in particular, would crawl into the tent quivering with excitement. Coy danced with her! Coy said she had beautiful eyes! Coy was definitely in love with her, he just wasn’t very talkative so he hadn’t said so yet. Lydia was equally excited. She still flirted with Luke, but he ignored her. Now she had her eye on Magnus Ferguson. Each night, huddled under her blankets, Callie had to listen to her stepsister’s ravings about how Magnus looked at her with fierce desire in his eyes. Without a doubt, he was madly in love with her, and it wouldn’t be long before he told her so.
Callie gave Florida a rueful smile. “As you know, Lydia and Nellie are both in frail health. They—”
“Fiddlesticks! They’re both as healthy as horses, far as I can see.” Florida placed a firm hand on Callie’s arm. “I want you to come to the campfire tonight. You deserve to come. If there’s work to be done, let those two lazy stepsisters of yours do it.”
“I’ll try.”
“Do more than try.” Luke regarded her with sharp, assessing eyes. “People are thrown into an entirely different world when they go on these long treks clear across the country. Some change, mostly for the good, but there are a few who change for the worse. Either way, at the end of the journey, they’re never the same as when they started out. That’s especially true of you, Callie. You’re changing. It’s all for the best, but you don’t realize it yet. It’s time you did. It’s time you valued yourself as highly as we do.”
Florida clapped her hands. “Hear, hear! What Luke means is you deserve more than you think you do. You ought to be nicer to yourself. Am I making sense?”
“I suppose. Now you’re making me wonder where I’d be if I hadn’t gone on this trip.”
“Where do you think you’d be?”
For several thoughtful seconds, Callie remained silent. “I suppose I’d be living as I’ve lived all my life, working dawn to dusk and doing as I was told.”
Florida smiled with sympathy. “It’s plain to see this journey is the best thing that could have happened to you. You’ve seen a bit of the world, and you must have noticed by now not everyone treats you like your family does.”
“I suppose…” She would never say anything bad about her family, yet Luke’s and Florida’s words made a lot of sense. They had caught her unaware. She didn’t know what to say but had a lot to think about. What she knew, for sure, was she very much wanted to join them at the campfire tonight, and she would be there, no matter what Ma said.
Chapter 6
Luke rode off. Callie finished her reading lesson with Florida. Soon they were joined by Florida’s oldest daughter, Hetty. At sixteen, the tall, dark-eyed girl was pretty, vivacious and an
indispensable help to her mother. When Callie rose to leave, clutching her reader, Hetty asked, “Will you be at the campfire tonight? There’s going to be dancing and lots of single young men for partners.”
“Yes, I’m going to be there.” Callie looked down at her tattered dress. Who would dance with her, the way she looked? And her hair! “I won’t be the belle of the ball, though, not in this dress, and my hair is such a mess.”
“I’ve got an idea.” Hetty arose and extended her hand to Callie. “You must come with me. I’ve been dying to do something with that hair of yours.”
Florida nodded approval. At Callie’s hesitation, she said, “Don’t worry. Hetty has a knack for fixing hair.”
Soon Callie was sitting in the Sawyers’ large tent, a towel tossed around her shoulders. Hetty, armed with a pair of scissors, stood assessing her hair.
“What are you going to do?” Callie tried to conceal how nervous she felt. “It’s never been cut. I just pull it back and tie it in a sort-of knot.”
“That’s the trouble. With your hair pulled back from your face like that, it looks awful. Sorry, but it does.” Hetty untied the bit of fabric holding Callie’s untidy bun in place and let her thick, auburn hair tumble down her back. “Look at that! You have beautiful hair, all long, thick, and curly. I never would have guessed.”
“Do you have a mirror?” Callie wasn’t sure what Hetty planned and wanted to keep an eye on her.
“No mirror. Not until I’m through.”
“You won’t cut it all off, will you? I like my long hair.”
“Trust me.”
If Hetty hadn’t sounded so sure of herself, Callie might have fled. Instead, when she first heard the snip of the scissors, she resigned herself to the worst and hoped for the best. After all, she couldn’t look much worse than she already did, so she didn’t have much to lose.
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