“Now it is you who judges. We’ve not even begun.”
“Okay. We’ll do it your way.”
“I like it my way.” He picked her up and leaned over her, laying her back on the couch. He kissed her, hardly felt the tingle in his teeth that used to arouse him so much. But she was here, and he needed this. Needed to get it out of his system. He sat up and took off her shoes slowly and kissed her ankles.
“I thought you wanted them on,” she said with a smile.
“I wanted to take them off.”
“I apologize for judging.”
He kissed her again, slowly, his mouth moving over her ankles and the rest of her body before he tasted her mouth. When the thing was over and done, he stood and pulled up his trousers. “A drink now?”
She sighed, but she rose and brought two cans of sap, room temperature. As she sipped her sap, he studied her. She was beautiful in a way that Cali wasn’t, but lacking something. Though her hair had nearly the same color, it had an overly shiny, plastic appearance, and even out of the netting, it looked too neat and artificial. Her breasts were full but high, certainly plastics, and her legs were smooth and shiny, pleasantly thick in the thighs. A year ago, he would have called her perfect, as any man would. And though he couldn’t point to a particular flaw in her, something wasn’t right. Her beauty had a cold and calculated aspect, the same as he’d expect from a prostitute. Were all women this way and he’d never noticed?
“Did I deliver on my promise?” he asked after a long silence.
“You were gentle,” she said.
“And you were satisfied?”
“I suppose.”
“But…?”
“You weren’t there.”
“Pardon?”
“You were so gentle it was like you weren’t there at all.”
“I thought that is what you wanted.”
“No, I wanted gentle and…caring. You were gentle and vacant.”
“But you were fulfilled?”
“Yes, but only because you did the right things. You might have been absent altogether, sleeping standing up, for all the ways you showed you cared about me. A plastic device would give me as much satisfaction, and I’d feel as cared for as I do now.”
“I don’t care for you, so how could I make you feel as if I do?”
“Maybe you can’t,” Eva said, shrugging. “At least you tried. I’ve never met a man who could give me what I wanted.”
“Perhaps you want too much.” Without knowing why, he suddenly he wanted to offend her.
“I want it all,” Eva said, gathering her hair up into its netting once more.
He’d taken a challenge to prove something, and only afterwards realized he’d been drawn into a trap. Technically, he’d succeeded, and yet, she’d proved him nothing but a fool.
“Were you satisfied?” she asked.
“No.”
“I didn’t think so. Can you only do it rough?”
“No. I just don’t find you have what I need.”
“And what’s that?”
What was it he needed? He’d never needed more in the past. So what hadn’t he found in her? Warmth? Was it that bad, that now he couldn’t because she wasn’t a sapien? Or did he need more than that, as she did—a connection? If he needed that, he’d never find it in a sap. And certainly not in Eva, either.
“I should leave,” he said, standing. “Thank you for the drink.”
She laughed. “Thank you for the experiment. I thought maybe you’d like to stay the day. We could try again in the morning?”
He could stay, to prove a point, but in the end he’d be proving her point either way. And even if he found satisfaction physically, what he wanted wasn’t in the physical. He needed more, and tonight only confirmed that. He was cursed with a cross between Superior and incubus longing. Perhaps he’d never be satisfied, but at least he knew it now. No reason to prolong it by searching her for something she did not possess.
“Thank you for the offer,” he said after a moment. “I’m flattered. But I have business to attend to.”
She looked like a woman who had heard that excuse before but was wise enough not to ask. Draven left her with a cheek press and walked out into the cold whiteness of morning. He felt stronger than he had in some time, having eaten four rations in one night for the first time in months. But the bright, cheerful morning only contrasted with his dark mood and did nothing to brighten it.
After scaling the fence, he set the bag of supplies in front of Cali’s door, but he did not awaken her before slipping inside the stone house. He sat on the floor of the shower for a long while, letting the hot water scald his skin and fill the bathroom with claustrophobic steam. When he emerged, he heard Cali outside, sweeping the dirt away from her doorstep. He closed the blinders on the windows and went to bed, but he did not take sleep. The familiar discontent that had haunted him most of his life had caught up with him at last.
CHAPTER fourteen
“I miss you, my wife,” Byron said, setting his car to auto mode and turning his full attention to Marisol.
“We miss you, too,” she said. Two smaller heads crowded into the screen on either side of her chin. “When are you coming back?”
“You know the assignment is ten years,” Byron reminded her. “It’s only been a year.”
“Over a year,” she said. “I thought you’d at least visit.”
“Well, the case hasn’t been going well. Besides, you’re probably living it up while I’m gone.”
“I wouldn’t think of it,” Marisol said, which meant that she was doing exactly what he guessed. He tried not to let it bother him—she’d always been more social than he was. She liked to go out dancing with all her beautiful friends. When he was home, he went with her. He knew how men looked at a group of women like that.
“How much has your mother been going out?” Byron asked his daughter.
“I’m not supposed to tell,” Paige said.
Marisol laughed with the greatest delight. “That’s right, honey. Don’t tell Daddy, or I’ll get in trouble.” She turned to Byron and smiled as she assured him, “It’s not that much.”
“So, every morning.”
“Not every morning. Besides, what else am I supposed to do? Sit around here and rot while you’re off on a fun adventure?”
“It’s hardly fun. I’m working.”
She smiled and leaned into the screen. “What are you doing now? Where are you going?”
“One of my saps was stolen a while back, remember? I think she’s been found, so I’m going to get her.”
“Why?”
“Because I want her.”
“But don’t you have a new one, one who’s not defective?”
“That’s not the point.”
“But what will you do with the pregnant one? I thought you wanted to make money off them.”
“I do. But I have to get this other one to… Because I have to.”
“What are you going to do with her? We can’t afford another one right now. Just let them take her back to the Confinement or the blood bank or wherever.”
“I have nothing to do in Princeton, anyway,” Byron said. “I needed a break, to step back and clear my head a little. This is just a side project.”
“You’re lying.” Marisol’s brief period of Enforcer training hadn’t taught her to catch people in lies, as his extensive training had, but she could tell when her husband lied.
“It’s complicated, that’s all.”
“Dangerously complicated?”
“Of course not. You know I wouldn’t do anything humanoid.”
“That’s a matter of opinion, isn’t it?”
“It’s not that dangerous, honey. I’m going to get her back from the man who stole her, but he’s just a Third. They didn’t even send someone with me. It’s that safe.”
“A Third? Really?” She paused a moment, then smiled. “Well, that makes me feel better.”
“I’m getting
another call. Do you want to wait?”
“No, I’m just going. I’ll talk to you later.”
“Don’t go out today, okay? Stay in with the kids. They don’t get to see you that often.”
“Okay, okay. Bye, Dad.”
Byron hated it when she called him that, even after a few centuries of hearing it. Now, their years were close and age didn’t matter. All Superiors were adults. But in their human lives, he’d never gotten past wondering what people thought of him. He still couldn’t stand it when she brought up their age disparity, which was probably why she did it. He had been old enough to be her father when they’d married. But what was twenty-some years when you’d lived two hundred and fifty?
He swiped the screen with his finger, drawing the blinking contact to the forefront. “Hello, Milton.”
“Hey, Byron.” Milton cleared his throat. “Uh, listen. We looked into that missing file for that Enforcer injury? You remember the one?”
“Of course I remember.”
“Well, it seems this Superior, uh, Draven Castler?”
“Castle.”
“Yeah, well, we looked into his record and…I don’t know how to say this nicely, sir, but we know you’ve activated his tracer.”
“And?”
“And that’s illegal.” Milton shifted, looking uncomfortable. “We’re going to have to ask you to come on back. We figure you’re out there tracking him. Is that right?”
Byron had never broken a law before, not even a small one. Not even one as small as lying to an Enforcer. But he was an Enforcer, so it didn’t really count. He wasn’t about to let the Law ruin this for him.
For a moment, Marisol’s warning entered his mind. She’d be furious if she learned he was defying his boss’s orders, breaking laws to wreak the appropriate revenge on Draven. Marisol had liked Draven. Maybe she’d liked him too much, Byron thought, remembering his envy upon seeing his friend’s physique.
“I’m just getting out of town,” Byron told Milton. “I needed a break, a little time away from Princeton, that’s all.”
“And the tracer?”
“What’s that matter? He’s a suspect. Someone will bring him in.”
“I’m sorry, Byron. You know we have to follow protocol. I had to turn the tracer off.”
“You can’t turn it off.”
“It’s already done. Sorry, buddy. It may seem unfair, but we have to do it the right way, no matter who’s the victim. Even if it’s you.”
“I’m not a victim.” Just wait until they saw what he was going to do to Draven. They’d see what a victim looked like.
“You know what I mean,” Milton said. “I’d like to help you out, but I just don’t know what to think anymore. I’d hate to see you taken off this case, but the way you’re handling things, harassing suspects with no proof…”
“No proof? Two trackers went out looking for him and wound up dead. How is that no proof?”
“We don’t know what happened to them. We haven’t recovered the bodies.”
“Did you find any evidence Draven was in the woods at all?”
“I’m not sure you should be involved in this investigation.”
“It’s my sap, dammit. What did you find?”
Milton paused before answering. “We found the remains of a few fires. And…”
“And what?”
Milton cleared his throat. “We found the remains of a sapien infant.”
“The baby. You found her baby.”
“We think so.”
“Did he kill it?”
“We can charge him with it, yes. It’s hard to tell with saps how they died. So many causes of death, as you know. It had some broken bones, but the body was still in good condition, since it’s been so cold.”
“So, what? Draven beat it to death?”
“It had some bruising, but the main thing is, the body’s been drained. We can assume that’s the cause of death.”
“So he killed my sap, but I can’t activate his tracer?”
“It was a sapien, Byron,” Milton reasoned. “The first he’s ever killed. He’ll owe you restitution, and he’ll not be able to buy a sap for five years, but you know how it is. The laws aren’t real strict about that first kill. Accidents happen.”
“But it was my sap.”
“So he’ll owe you the fine instead of the government. And we can charge him with stealing a sap. That’s a big charge. But just because you’re the victim, that doesn’t change the Law.”
“Dammit, Milton. Can’t you just let me track him down? You know as well as I do that he killed Lathan and Lapin.”
“Sorry, Byron. Wish I could look the other way, but I can’t. I wouldn’t be doing my job.”
That was a dirty little dig. Byron could hardly blame him for it, though. A year ago, he would have said the exact same thing if he were in Milton’s place. Hell, six months ago he would have said it. But things were different now. Now he’d broken a law, and it seemed a waste to have done it without result. And the only way to get results was to keep breaking more laws. He finally understood how criminals were formed, how one small slip could lead to more dire ones, until the Law became something fuzzy, or something that applied to everyone else.
But he’d never be one of those people. He’d just do this one thing—find and punish Draven, and retrieve his sapien. It might be harder now that he couldn’t find them by Navigational Guide Piloting, but he had an idea where they were. He could find the area, and then he only had to look around and feel the people out. Afterwards, he’d go back to obeying and enforcing and holding the Law sacred, the way he always had. The Law was everything, the foundation of government, order, and faith. The Law was ruler and king and friend and god. As long as he still believed, he’d be fine.
CHAPTER fifteen
Cali couldn’t make changes to the little hut because the owner might come back, so she spent her days either shivering under her blanket or returning to the stone house. Sleeping at night again made her feel better, than when she’d stayed up half the night and half the day. She woke, rose and stretched, and shook out her damp blanket. The mat on the floor had begun to stink of mildew, and the ends of the straws poked through at her while she slept. Still, it made a better bed than the thin sleep sack, which had made her body ache on nights when they’d slept on hard ground.
After she ate, she went to the door of the house, dislodged the pebble, and stepped inside. She stood in the doorway and waited, listening. No sounds. Still, she felt funny going inside now, like she had to sneak in. She always tried to be quiet, and Draven never said anything, never called to her or came out of the bedroom, so she must have been doing okay. She tiptoed into the shower room, holding her breath as she slowly pulled the door closed. She paused, but she didn’t hear him, so she gave the last little tug until the latch snapped into place. Her heart caught for a second, waiting to see if he’d call to her.
When she didn’t hear any sound, she relaxed. She didn’t even know why she tried so hard not to disturb him. He probably wouldn’t get mad. When she’d left, he hadn’t been mad, he’d been sad. And he’d told her to use the house, begged her to.
After her heartbeat returned to normal, she undressed. Every time she came into the house, she went through this same routine—the nervousness, the relief, and mixed with it, a tiny flicker of disappointment that he didn’t talk to her. But it was better if he only talked to her in her hut, where she felt safer even though it was outside. In truth, no matter where she was, she’d never be safe from a Superior. But with her out there and him in here, coming out to see her, he seemed like a master, like he’d never…
Do what? She’d been the one to do something to him.
She turned on the water and stepped into the shower. Showering had become her favorite part of the day, on the days when she dared to come in and take advantage of the warm water. After a while, she always got nervous and rushed to get out. She felt silly doing it, like a kid running from the dark. S
omething about the big house, and being in it while Draven slept, made her edgy. Maybe the guilt about the way she’d behaved the other time she’d been in the house while he slept caused the nervousness. Still, she didn’t want to give up the house entirely. She loved this room too much.
It held a wonderful array of new things, and although she’d liked it when she first saw it and used the shower, she hadn’t seen much. She’d been too happy about getting clean and warm again. Afterwards, she’d begun to notice each separate, amazing thing in the room, how each time she went in, she thought she’d memorized every detail, but every time she came back, she saw something new. Square stones fit together to make up the floor, completely smooth but not slippery even when wet. The dark grey squares weren’t like the outside of the house, the blue-grey sparkly, rough stones. The flat stones of the shower room floor chilled her feet when she stepped from the tub, no matter how hot she’d gotten. But they cooled in a soothing way.
Usually she didn’t stay too long, but she made sure to get clean. She’d never summoned enough courage to look in all the colorful bottles around the huge tub, but she loved them, anyway. Glass jars in all sizes and shapes, of varying hues of blue and green, lined one side of the tub, along with a plant with slippery leaves that spread its vines among the edge. A few oblong bowls held different colored rocks, smooth and rounded, worked in among the vines. It looked more like decoration than a shower. But the shower was the best part—the two different nozzles on each end of the huge tub that sprayed warm water anytime of day or night. Cali had tried all the different showerheads, but she still hadn’t figured out how one person could get dirty enough to need all four.
Today she looked at the one cake of soap she’d used every time she showered. She had always used that kind of soap for hair and body, just like at home in the Confinement. So many people had lived there, and all of them used the bars of soap provided in the communal showers. She had seen Draven washing his hair with a different kind of soap, a liquid kind, but she’d never heard of such a thing back home. Superiors must have all kinds of luxurious things she couldn’t imagine.
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