by Lucy Walker
Kate got up and walked away towards the far end of the gravel court. So Annabel was definitely coming home to-morrow? Good! She knew quite well what she was going to do now. Hal had gone outside the high wire fence to fox a ball that had gone high and into the bush.
Kate walked quietly after him. She swished the tops of the prickly bushes with her racquet.
‘Hullo, you?’ said Hal. ‘Want a job? That silly cow Reynolds always tosses the ball and never tosses it in.’
‘No. I wanted to tell you something.’
He straightened up and threw the ball back into the court.
‘Well? Fire away.’ He looked at her with raised eyebrows. Something in Kate’s voice commanded his attention.
‘Annabel is definitely coming back to-morrow. Mrs. Willy has all the news. Hal, I’m going home to-morrow. I want you to tell the others and tell them why.’
His face changed colour. A faint frown of annoyance settled on his brow.
‘Very sudden, isn’t it?’
‘Not really, Hal. I think we both knew within a few days of my arrival here that neither of us wanted to go ahead with the idea of marriage. It was fun in Sydney and I’ll never be sorry we had that fun. But I don’t feel the same in Blackwood. Neither do you. We should break off whatever engagement there has been between us and I should go at once … Otherwise everyone will be embarrassed.’
Hal was standing perfectly still and looking at her. He was nonplussed. Kate glanced back over the court at the players. On the far side Rick was leaning against a fence post smoking a cigarette. In a minute he would go home. Four o’clock he had said. He ran a dairy farm and had to supervise the milking! At four o’clock … very soon … he would say, ‘So long, fellers!’ and walk out of her life.
He was the nicest person she had ever known.
If there was a hard look of unshed tears behind Kate’s eyes it was not for Hal.
‘This is rather public for this kind of discussion …’ Hal said. ‘Don’t you think we ought to go somewhere else.’
‘No,’ said Kate, with an edge to her voice. ‘Privacy has not been your venue for dealing blows, Hal. As a matter of fact …’ she looked up at him quickly … ‘I wasn’t even thinking of you. I stopped doing that, except to register annoyance and even dislike, days ago. And now you understand why I must go home to-morrow.’
She began to walk towards the court.
‘Mr. Reynolds picked me for the next set, Hal. You might take the opportunity, while I am playing, of telling your mother.’
The players had finished the game, but instead of another set, tea was made and prodigious cream sponge cakes and indigestibly rich fruit cakes were produced and eaten by the very young and the mounting old. The male of the species on the whole did fair justice to the sweet foods but the young women … all those between the ages of eighteen and forty, ate sparingly with an inward eye turned anxiously on the weight tally. Certainly if one ate all the good food that was put in front of one all the time in Blackwood one would need the capacity and toughness of a rhinoceros to deal with it gastronomically. At least Kate thought so. At the same time she thought, as she never failed to do, of the war and post-war years of hungry England. If only she could send some of it home. Home to England!
While they had loitered over tea Mrs. de Berhans had put her hand on Rick’s arm and taken him to the far side of the tennis court. Rick lighted her cigarette for her and they stood there talking, Mrs. de Berhans leaning her head sideways and backwards to look up at Rick.
As Kate and three others walked on the court to start their game Rick went back into the hall. He came out a minute later with his racquet and pullover.
‘So long, fellers!’ He waved his racquet. With one hand on the fence post he went over the wire fence like a bird. He got into a small utility truck one of the men from Allandale had brought over. He waved again, and the truck spluttered off down the road towards Appleton and Allandale.
Kate muffed her serve badly. When she turned round to retrace her steps to the serving line Mrs. de Berhans caught her eye. She lifted her hand, the thumb and first finger together to make a circle. The little sign was accompanied with a smile.
Out of the corner of her eye Kate saw Mrs. Weston come out of the hall with Hal. They stood looking at her while she played for a minute. Then Hal, as if in pique, strode off down the road in the direction of Appleton. Quarter of an hour later he emerged through the bush. He had the air as of a man who had been walking alone with himself and his God.
‘And that doesn’t go down with me any more,’ Kate thought grimly. ‘He’s just a mass of poses. He’s trying out the “broken-hearted” one to try its effect.’
When the game was over Kate sat down by Mrs. de Berhans. Mrs. Willy had chugged off in her ancient tourer and two farmers’ wives and the bearded lady sat between Mrs. Weston and Kate. Mrs. Weston gave no sign that she had just been the recipient of momentous news from Hal.
Mrs. de Berhans patted Kate’s knee.
‘How are you doing, Kate? Everything all right at Appleton?’
‘I’m going home to-morrow,’ Kate said. She looked away and screwed up her eyes as if finding it difficult to look into the light. There was a lump in her throat after all.
‘I suppose I can make a guess as to why,’ Mrs. de Berhans said. ‘Will I offend you if I do, Kate?’
‘Hal and I have broken off our engagement … that’s all there is to it. I think he has already told his mother. She has that look in her eye.’
Mrs. de Berhans sat silent for several minutes.
‘I’ve been plotting all the afternoon to get you to come home to tea with me, Kate. Would you like to come? Please do say “yes” … if you feel wretched … well, come and be wretched with me. It might be easier than at Appleton. Have you much packing to do?’
‘I’d like to come very much. I don’t suppose good manners matter any more now … I don’t know whether it’s good manners to leave one’s host on the last night of a visit … or not. Perhaps one could regard the present conditions as being extraordinary anyway …’
‘Then you shall come. Not another word. I’ll speak to Mrs. Weston about it. I was going to do that anyway. I wanted you specially to-night … I thought you were having rather a grim time over there at Appleton.’
‘I’ve been packed for two days,’ Kate said. ‘But I would have to return to Appleton to-night. There’ll have to be arrangements about driving me in to-morrow. And there’s Annabel’s children. I’m responsible for them. I didn’t like leaving them with Judity this afternoon.’
‘Peg will look after them to-night. I’ve fixed that already.’
Kate looked at Mrs. de Berhans in some surprise.
‘You certainly meant me to come.’
‘I certainly did.’
‘I would rather like to come …’ Kate said again lamely. ‘ I’ll go and have a word with Peg. I don’t suppose she’ll think I’m letting her down. She let me down last night.’
‘So I heard. Harriet rang me up about it this morning …’
Peg was just coming off the tennis court and Kate ran over to her.
‘Come and get a drink of water with me, Peg …’ Kate said. ‘I want to tell you something.’
‘You don’t have to. I can see it in your face. And in Mrs. Weston’s too. Hal, of course, looks fittingly bereft.’
Kate couldn’t help laughing.
‘And I can’t even hand him back to you on a plate. You don’t want him any more.’
Peg stopped in her tracks.
‘Who said so? Fickle heart might be your weak point, Kate. But it’s not mine.’
Kate looked bewildered.
‘I must be going silly. I thought the glamour was for Rick’s benefit.’
‘So it was. But I didn’t want him for keeps. I just wanted to wake you up. Interesting how Hal turned out to take notice of it! You know, I never thought of that before. I never thought Hal would be such a sucker.’
�
�Mrs. de Berhans suggests I go over there for tea.’
‘You go, Kate. She was hatching that one up anyway. The problem was how to wrench you away from Mrs. Weston. Now nobody has to bother. You just say you’re going … and no nonsense about it.’
When Kate came back to the watchers’ gallery Mrs. de Berhans had already worked the oracle with Mrs. Weston. The latter looked at Kate with an almost benign eye. Kate sat down beside her. She owed her that at least.
‘Well, you and Hal have been settling things for yourselves,’ she said. ‘I must say it is something of a shock … but I must add I think you’ve done the right thing, Kate.’
‘Oh?’
‘Appleton’s not really the place for you, you know. You’d be much happier in a big city like Sydney. City life’s the life for you. I can see that at a glance. I don’t blame you either, Kate. I don’t want you to think I have any feelings about it at all. I’m glad for your sake. It’s better to make this kind of decision before it’s too late.’
Kate said ‘Oh!’ again very lamely.
‘As for Hal … he’ll get over it. He’ll settle down and do some work now. Time he stopped gallivanting round and looked after Appleton.’
Kate said, ‘I’m glad of that.’
‘Everything will turn out all right in the end, you’ll see,’ Mrs. Weston consoled. ‘Why, look at Peg. She no sooner has an idea put in her head by someone else than she catches on to it like a drowning man clinging to a straw. Not that I’d call Rick Benallen a straw. Not by a long chance I wouldn’t. A nice tidy property Harriet Benallen and he have got between them.’
Kate felt numb. There were blows raining about her head but she wasn’t feeling them. Nothing this woman could say would ever hurt her again. Besides, she knew that Peg hadn’t finished with Hal at all … whatever Hal’s mother might think. But no wonder Mrs. Weston was breathing such satisfaction. She thought she had got rid of both the claimants to Hal’s name. Kate wondered if it would always be like this with Hal’s loves. Would he never marry? Or would some forward wench one day take him by the scruff of the neck and run him into the matrimonial noose?
A little smile played round Kate’s lips.
‘I must say you don’t appear to be upset about it,’ Mrs. Weston said in something of a startled voice. ‘In my day it was a very serious thing to break off an engagement.’
‘But you wanted it that way …’ Kate burst forth at last. ‘You are much happier, Mrs. Weston …’
‘Of course I am, Kate. You’re much too nice a girl to be buried down here in the forest country. I’m happy for your sake. And I know what a trial Hal is. He wouldn’t make you happy. I know that. And there are lots of other nice men about. Look at all those men in Sydney. Three-quarters of a million of them. You’ll pick a nice rich stockbroker … someone like that. With your style you could make your own choice, Kate.’
Kate wanted to clap her hands over her ears.
‘Excuse me,’ she said. She got up and walked away from the tennis court. She began to walk almost blindly along the road, past all the Humbers and Jaguars and Ford Zephyrs and Pontiacs and Holdens in which the farmers and their labourers had come to tennis.
The sun was low in the west and shone in golden shafts slantwise through the black trunks of the trees. It shone green and gold and diamond, dancing on the undergrowth. It was so still, except for the ping of tennis ball on racquet and a single laugh that rang out on the late afternoon.
Kate walked blindly, angrily.
She heard Mrs. de Berhans’ big car thrumming up behind her. It crawled alongside her. Mrs. de Berhans leaned across and swung open the door.
‘Get in, Kate.’
Kate got in and pulled the door behind her.
‘Now cry,’ Mrs. de Berhans said. ‘Because by the time we get to Arundel you’ve got to look calm and sweet and lovely again. Harriet and Rick Benallen are coming to tea too.’
The tears stopped dead on the brim of Kate’s eyes.
‘Oh no …!’
‘Oh yes, and I’m not going to tell them you and Hal have broken the engagement to-night. Then you won’t have to feel forced and guarded, Kate. Let’s just pretend nothing has happened.’
‘Oh, thank you,’ Kate said. ‘Oh, thank you so much.’
Then she did cry.
Chapter Four
Mrs De Berhans had a glorious spread in the old dining-room of Arundel.
‘We only use it for parties now. It’s too big generally. But I wanted to have a special tea for you, Kate. So you see I’ve brought out the family silver … and all the what-have-you’s that go with it.’
Kate had not been in the dining-room on her previous visit. It was a long room, stretching nearly the full length of the house. The panelled walls and beamed roof were reminiscent of Tudor homes in her own country … except that this room was bigger and more airy. The furniture was beautiful ‘colonial cedar’, something eagerly sought by collectors in Australia because it was the furniture brought out from England by the original settlers in the country. The silver plates on the tall sideboard were presentation plates made to members of Mrs. de Berhans’ family in former generations.
The table was set like a banqueting board … an array of salads and fruits, scones and cakes that invited any appetite. From the refrigerators came sliced turkey and ham … and later fruit salads and ice cream.
Mrs. de Berhans took Kate to her room for a wash and a brush up.
‘Now what did you have that cry about, Kate? Just pent-up feelings?’
She was sitting on the bed watching the girl powdering her nose.
‘Pent-up feelings!’ Kate agreed, watching herself apply the powder critically.
‘You’re well out of a marriage with Hal Weston, dear. I won’t rub it in …’
‘It’s all right,’ Kate said. ‘I don’t care a fig about Hal really, though I blame myself as much as him for the mistake. It takes two people to make that kind of mistake. I think what really upset me was Mrs. Weston’s complaint that country life wouldn’t suit me … that I was a city girl. There was some sort of obscure insult in that. I love Blackwood … I’d give anything to live here. To have lived on Appleton even … if I had had any affection left for Hal …’
Kate’s voice creaked.
‘All right, dear … we won’t talk about it. One other thing though. We decided we wouldn’t tell Harriet and Rick, but I’ve since thought we might tell them later on. They won’t have an opportunity to say good-bye if you leave on the train to-morrow.’
‘Please don’t tell them,’ Kate said. ‘I’ve been thinking about that too. I’ll get through the evening better if I think they’re not “taking care”of me or mind my feelings. It doesn’t seem decent to tell them I haven’t any feelings. They’d wonder why I had stayed on as long as I have. I’d rather just say “good-bye” as if it is “good-bye for now” and not for ever. I can write to them later. I’d rather like to do that.’
She smiled at Mrs. de Berhans in the mirror.
‘Who knows?’ she said. ‘They might write back to me. It would be something to help me remember the jarrah forest.’
‘I’ll certainly keep in touch with you, Kate …’
‘Will you? Let’s make a promise. A letter for Easter and a letter for Christmas. Then one day you’ll come to Sydney.’
‘It’s not as far as you think, my dear. Wait till Hal Weston clears the landing ground and gets his plane. We’ll be coming over for the week-end.’
They could hear the sound of a car coming up the drive. Headlights swept around the room like torch lights and the engine was cut off. Mrs. de Berhans put her head out of the window.
‘The door’s open, Harriet. Bring yourself in like a dear. Rick, you go into the dining-room and pour yourself a drink. You can take the sherry into the lounge if you like.’
Kate had finished her hair and her nose when Mrs. Benallen came into the bedroom.
‘Kate! What fun!’ she said. ‘But where’s Hal? Didn
’t you bring him?’
‘I didn’t ask him, Harriet,’ Mrs. de Berhans said. ‘I decided not to … after all.’
Mrs. Benallen looked shocked.
‘Do you mind, Kate?’
‘Not in the least. Neither does Hal.’
She went out into the lounge. Rick was just carrying in a silver tray with the sherry and glasses.
‘’Lo, Kate! How are you doing, mate?’
‘Fine thank you.’
He poured out a sherry and took it over to her.
‘Wait a minute,’ he said. ‘We’ll drink to that.’ He filled his own glass up and held it to the light.
‘To Kate’s fine health …’ he said solemnly. He drank a little. ‘Where’s Hal?’ he asked.
‘He’s at Appleton,’ Kate said. ‘I’m playing truant to-night.’
Rick looked thoughtfully at his glass for a minute. He put it down and rolled two cigarettes. He lit Kate’s for her and handed it to her. ‘I like you best when you’re playing truant, Kate. Makes me wish you were my girl.’
She squinted into the cigarette smoke.
‘Let’s pretend,’ she said.
‘Yes. Let’s pretend.’
‘Nothing brotherly?’
‘Nothing sisterly?’
They both laughed.
‘Here’s my hand on it,’ Rick said.
Kate put her hand in his. He looked down at it for a minute. Then he lifted it up and put it against his cheek.
‘Not brotherly …’ he said.
Kate was too frightened to speak. Her voice would have creaked and broken down. She was too frightened to look into his eyes. She followed the spirals of smoke into the air.
Very gently Rick moved her hand and held it against his mouth. Kate closed her eyes. His mouth was warm and soft and caressing.
Then he took her sherry glass and put it in her hand.
‘Let’s drink and be merry …’ he said.
She sipped the wine and looked over the rim of the glass at him. Her voice came back and her hand holding the glass was steady. She could still feel the warm pressure of his mouth on it. ‘I’ll feel it all my life …’ she thought.
