by Cassie Rocca
“Young love can be forgotten…” said Clover, and Liberty nodded emphatically.
“You’re not mature enough when you’re that age. It’s a mistake to idealize those moments.”
“Eric wasn’t a teenager then, maybe he never was! If he fell in love with her when he was twenty and then preserved the memory in his heart, it’s because she was really important to him – and now she has come back for him. End of story.”
Clover and Liberty didn’t say anything and Zoe quickly took the opportunity to change the subject.
But when, a couple of hours later, her friends went home, leaving her alone again, she began thinking again about what Clover had said and what she herself had started to think, and her confusion mounted.
“This is all I need,” she thought, dropping onto her bed and burying her face in the pillow. Starting to think about Eric differently and not just as a friend was more than dangerous, it was potentially lethal. He was her rock, because no feelings of love or lust had never gotten in the way of their relationship.
Now, however, she could no longer help but wonder what it would be like to be in his arms…
“I have to find myself a guy as soon as possible,” she snapped to no one in particular.
The phone rang. Reaching out blindly towards the table, she grabbed it.
“Hello?”
“Hello, Zoe.”
Stuart’s voice made her jump, she was instantly alert. “How did you get my number?”
“You never changed it, honey.”
“You’re right, I didn’t. I should have done,” she retorted aggressively. Stuart laughed softly, a husky laugh that once upon a time would have made her tremble but which at that moment in time only made her more irritable.
“What is it you want, Stu?”
“I want to see you. Come out for dinner with me one of these nights.”
“I don’t see why I should.”
“For old times’ sake. We were good together, we were a well-matched pair. You let yourself get taken in by malicious rumours in a difficult period, and it wasn’t fair on either of us. I would like to explain to you exactly what happened four years ago, and if after that you still want to leave things as they are, I’ll understand. But I would at least like to try.”
That man’s calm and persuasive voice still knew how to hypnotize her, and Zoe fought against the desire to rekindle that old feeling. Her loneliness was a weakness that wasn’t playing in her favor. She had to be careful.
“I don’t know, Stuart. I don’t want to re-open Pandora’s box after all these years. What has happened has happened, so let’s just leave it at that.”
“That’s easy for you, but it isn’t for me. Seeing you again reminded me of how perfect we were together. Maybe our time has passed, but at least have dinner with me and let’s talk. A chat, a smile and a handshake to clear up bad memories, that’s all I ask.”
What did she have she to lose?
She felt torn between her desires.
A part of her knew that Stuart was lying, that he had really been to bed with her best friend even though, in the absence of hard evidence, she couldn’t be absolutely certain. But four years earlier Zoe had believed Miranda without a moment’s hesitation, and that had thrown any trust she might have had in him back then out of the window. What sense could there be in re-opening an old chapter of her life – a chapter that, in retrospect, wasn’t as perfect as she had once believed? As she had matured, she had realized that Stuart Harris was not the kind of person you would want to share your life with, and he certainly wouldn’t have changed in the meantime.
Another part of her – the insecure, lonely part – yearned to be told that in fact she hadn’t been betrayed, that what was between them was important, that the feelings she had felt for him hadn’t been wasted. From the moment she had discovered his betrayal she hadn’t been the same again – she had closed herself off from love, throwing herself into squalid, meaningless sex, and she wasn’t proud of her behavior. Discovering now that she had been wrong not to believe Stuart’s words wouldn’t cancel the years that had passed, but maybe – just maybe – they could restore her confidence.
And then there was that little angry part of her that wanted revenge. Thanks to the confidence and experience she had acquired over the years, she felt that she would be able to do whatever she wanted with Stuart without even having to work too hard.
She could use him and then throw him away like a dirty sock, just the way he had done with her.
But what satisfaction would that give her?
“Look, I just don’t feel like talking to you,” she said, coldly.
“I won’t give up. I’ll make you change your mind,” promised Stuart.
Zoe hung up and stared at the phone.
She should have told Stuart to go to hell and be done with him, and she was well aware of the fact, but at that moment in time she wasn’t in the mood for making decisions. She just wanted to sleep and turn off her brain for a few hours.
Hoping that she wouldn’t dream anything untoward.
*
“We need to talk!”
Eric turned to look at Clover who was zooming towards the counter like a tornado. She took him by the arm and dragged him off into the office they shared, closing the door behind her.
“What’s the matter?” he asked, a puzzled expression on his face.
“You’ve got to do something! She’s ready, I can feel that the time is right, but you’re going to have to be strong and work with me, otherwise you’re going to regret it!”
Eric didn’t ask any questions. There was no need for Clover to explain what she was talking about – he knew all too well. Moreover, he thought the same thing, even though he was less confident about the outcome than his friend.
He sat down at his desk and ran his hands through his hair. “Ok,” he said, his heart pounding.
Clover brightened up. “Finally!”
“But why are you so sure that it’s going to work?”
“We were at her place last night and we talked a bit. The things that she said made me even more certain than I already was.”
He was so agitated that it felt to him that there wasn’t enough air in the room – maybe he was actually having a panic attack. He forced himself to breathe more deeply. “She said she would like to go out with me?”
Clover shrugged. “Not in so many words, but from the way she spoke, I definitely wouldn’t exclude it.”
“You wouldn’t exclude it!” Eric sighed, feeling his euphoria start to fade. Clover was too optimistic and romantic and he wasn’t entirely sure he could trust her instincts as Cupid.
“Oh, really! What did you think she would do, just come out and say something like that without batting an eyelid? She knows we’re friends and that I wouldn’t be able to resist the temptation of trying to get you two together, so she kept quiet! And since I couldn’t tell her that you’ve been in love with her since the first time you saw her because I swore that stupid oath you made me take years ago, I couldn’t push too far with my questions. But if I was practically certain before, now I’m absolutely convinced. You two are already united by a deep bond, and now she finds you attractive as well… And what’s more, she has this mad desire to fall in love.”
“I don’t want her to throw herself at me just because she has nobody else.”
Clover sighed loudly, dropping into the swivel chair at her desk. “Eric, have you ever thought that if Zoe can’t find a man worthy of her, perhaps it’s because no one gives her what you give her? What does she need another man for when she already has you? Apart from sex, of course.”
Eric gritted his teeth and Clover chuckled.
“That was precisely what last night’s conversation was about – Liberty said she was convinced that a loving relationship should be based on a deep complicity, like the complicity there is between two friends. And Zoe said that in that case she ought to marry you! But that there also needs to be s
exual attraction in a relationship… Don’t you understand? You’re halfway there! Show her your passion as well as your heart and she’ll be yours forever!”
Eager to believe what she was saying, Eric couldn’t find any reason to contradict her. After all, what did he have to lose?
How about a beautiful friendship? suggested his fear.
Yeah, well someone who was just a friend wouldn’t keep dreaming about seeing her naked, said reason.
“Okay,” he muttered. “In any case, I can’t take any more of her messed-up relationships, so our friendship is already hanging by a thread as it is.”
“Perfect. Now we need a plan of attack.” Clover drew her chair nearer to him and smiled, her eyes shining. “And I already have a great idea… but you’re going to have to collaborate.”
Clover’s plan was simple but effective. It consisted of a bit of resolute but anonymous courtship aimed at stimulating Zoe’s curiosity which would culminate with a full-blown declaration of love on the evening of Valentine’s Day.
And as there were only four days left to Valentine’s Day, Eric didn’t have much time, so they planned all the details in a few minutes and began work that very afternoon.
Shortly before closing, one of the delivery boys arrived at Giftland with a white package tied with a big red bow and handed it to Zoe.
“For you.”
Gratified, Zoe smiled at the boy.
“You brought me a present, Jimmy? How sweet you are!” she cooed, taking the box. From his quiet corner, Eric glared at the boy, who was just eighteen and made deliveries for the best bakery in the area, ready to jump at his throat if he dared take the credit for that gift. But the boy, as bashful as he always was in the face of Zoe’s beauty, just shook his mop of brown hair.
“Unfortunately, I don’t think you’d ever look twice at a kid like me even if I brought you a gift every day.”
“Never say never, honey. Nowadays it’s not so strange to see a woman with a younger boyfriend. Ms Ciccone has been a good teacher, right?” joked Zoe, being her flirtatious self as usual and giving the boy a wink. Then she went back to the box. “Who sent it?”
“I don’t know. We received an anonymous order that just said where and to whom we were supposed to deliver the box.”
“A mysterious admirer, eh? Well, thanks Jimmy.”
Eric waited for the delivery boy to leave, then walked over to the counter. Zoe was still staring at the box with attentive eyes and a slight smile on her lips.
“What’s going on?” He asked, pretending to be disinterested.
“A gift from someone who doesn’t want to reveal himself,” Zoe said, shrugging.
“What is it?”
Zoe untied the red ribbon and opened the box. Immediately the appetizing aroma of a cake filled the room.
“An entire Red Velvet!” she exclaimed, her eyes suddenly alight with pleasure. “That is my absolute favorite dessert!”
You don’t say… thought Eric, mentally giving himself a pat on the back.
The first time Zoe had sat down at his table in the university cafeteria, Eric had offered her a slice of that very cake. In quite an embarrassing way…
“You are officially our best customer, did you know that?” she said as she stopped in front of his table.
Eric almost choked on the mouthful of coffee that he had just drunk. He didn’t actually even like the stuff, but if you wanted to sit in the café you had to order something. He could have ordered something else, of course, but the previous week he had foolishly told the manager of the cafeteria that he spent hours in that place because of the ‘exquisite’ coffee, and now he felt compelled to stick to his guns.
He couldn’t confirm the man’s suspicions that he spent entire afternoons in there just to see her.
He knew her name: Zoe. Even those three simple letters, arranged in that particular order, were wonderful.
He had never seen a more beautiful girl. Maybe it was because of her perfect oval face, or because of her winning smile, or her slightly almond-shaped eyes – a shade of grey so unique that it suggested molten silver… Without forgetting, of course, her fantastic body, tall and lithe but with incredible curves in all the right places.
Since they had taken her on, the place had become the main attraction on the campus. Dozens of guys would gather there every day with the most improbable excuses or just straight out admitting that they came just to catch a glimpse of her. The manager of the cafeteria had now realized that students lingered longer than necessary to admire the brunette beauty who served at the tables and he never missed an opportunity to tease them about it.
But Eric was too shy to admit to being totally and hopelessly infatuated with Zoe. The thought of openly declaring it was ridiculous – a girl like that would never have deigned to take one look at a dull nobody like him. She could have any guy that fell at her feet, she was spoilt for choice!
Yet, for some reason, that particular time she had stopped right in front of him, with a smile that could have melted ice…
He raised his face and adjusted his glasses on his nose, trying not to stutter. “Do I get some kind of prize for it?”
“You should! You come in here every day and order almost half a dozen cups of coffee every time! You’re making that asshole Isaac rich – you deserve a commendation at the very least!”
“It’s usually decaf,” he said, then kicked himself mentally. What kind of dumb thing to say was that? What the hell does she care what kind of coffee you drink?
“I guess it must take a lot of concentration, as well as a lot of caffeine, to understand all those weird formulas that you’re studying,” said Zoe, leaning across the table and scanning the page of his physics book. Eric found himself breathing in her smell as well as ogling at her cleavage, which was revealed thanks to the top buttons of her white blouse being undone. He really hoped he wasn’t blushing like an idiot.
“What are you studying?” she continued.
“Stri…” Eric muttered, hoarsely. Then he pulled himself together and cleared his throat. “String Theory,” he improvised. Being a fan of The Big Bang Theory was always useful if you were a nerd.
Zoe stared at him with a puzzled expression. “I have no idea what that is, but something tells me that it has nothing to do with shoelaces, right?” she joked.
Eric smiled. He didn’t give a damn that she didn’t know anything about physics – he loved the wry way she joked about her own shortcomings. He had heard her talking to other students during the hours he spent sitting at that table and she had always seemed curious, never a know-it-all or wilfully ignorant.
“It’s just a theory that tries to reconcile relativity and quantum mechanics.” He didn’t add anything else so as not to bore her. If there was one sure way of scaring away a girl, it was to start talking about science.
“And do you really like this stuff? I mean, I don’t doubt that it can be fascinating, but it must be really difficult… at least judging by the time you spend on it. You need to have a large brain to be able to understand something like that.”
“I suppose I should thank you,” sighed Eric, looking miserable, “For suggesting that I have a large brain at least, although a terribly boring and nerdy one.”
“Oh, no! Don’t get me wrong!” she laughed. “I admire people like you. I often regret not having a brain like yours… Maybe if I had, I would be doing something a bit more worthwhile than waitressing.”
“Serving people is an undervalued job. I mean, you hold got the success of a lot of people’s lunch break in your hands every day. You need to be efficient, fast, friendly and nice… All things that you do very well,” said Eric with a shrug, his eyes averted from her. “And if we did a survey, I bet that most of the population would rather have your head than mine!”
She didn’t reply, forcing him to look up at her. Then he saw her smile and offer him her hand.
“My name is Zoe. Zoe Mathison.”
“Eric Morgan,” he
said, hoping his palms weren’t sweaty.
“I have a ten minute break. Do you mind if I sit here with you? We can chat – or I can help you study, if you prefer.”
Am I dreaming? thought Eric. Then he nodded quickly. “Sure, whatever you like… but only if I can get you something.”
Zoe glanced at the sweet counter. “If you insist… There is a slice of Red Velvet that feels like it’s been calling out to me since this morning, but the rules of the cafeteria say that I can’t consume anything that is on display – at least not until closing time.”
“But no one can stop me from ordering that cake and feeding it to you!” said Eric. The very idea made him come out in a sweat and his ears started burning. Great – now he was definitely blushing, dammit!
He stood up abruptly and steadied himself. “Be right back,” he said, as he walked over to the counter, taking deep breaths to calm himself down. But all the time he was aware of Zoe’s eyes watching him.
Years had passed since that day and yet he still felt like that same nerdy, unattractive student whenever he was around her.
Clover says that Zoe finds you attractive, a voice in his head reminded him.
Well, that distant afternoon ten years ago, he’d thought that she liked him too. In short, the fairest of them all had stopped to chat to him – to him! Him, out of all the boys who were in the cafeteria every day. But the only thing he had ever received from her was sincere affection, nothing more.
He tried not to be discouraged by his usual doubts and saw Zoe extract a red envelope from the box. She opened it and read aloud the short message that Clover had dictated to him over the phone.
“To add a touch of sweetness to your day… And looking forward to being able to add some to your life. Wow!” She laughed, looking for a name that, of course, wasn’t there. “Who can it be from?”
“One of your many admirers,” said Eric. He wasn’t lying, after all.
