by Amy Deason
For her.
She should be happy. And a part of her was happy. Ecstatic even. After all, this man must care about her to return to Dmitry’s compound in order to get her out and to safety. But on the heels of that, a bigger, more sensible part of her knew the underlining truth. Something she didn’t want to face. But it was staring at her, forcing her to recognize its presence.
Once help arrived, she would never see Nikolas again.
This was the last of their time together. With him lying lifeless on the ground in a pool of blood and her kneeling over him praying for him to survive.
He’d already made it clear he didn’t love her. Didn’t want to be with her. That stung. Hell, it did more than sting. It ripped and tore through her, taking chunks of her heart and flinging them to the far corners of her soul. But still, she didn’t want him to die.
And why?
Because she loved him. Plain and simple. And it was the stupidest thing she could have ever done. Even worse than traipsing around Russia thinking she could find her father. But there it was. The nugget of truth tied up with a neat, little bow. She was in love with this man. This cold, broken, lost man. But the feeling was totally one-sided. And as hard as it was to swallow, she could. She would. If only he would survive.
Grasping one limp hand in hers, she lowered her head, and with closed eyes, she kissed the battered knuckles gently.
“I love you, Nikolas.”
She didn’t know if he could hear her. Or if he would even care. But it felt good to say the words. To get them out. It sounded like goodbye.
Carefully, she dropped her head to his chest, listening to the labored sound of his heart beating against her ear.
A lifetime later, she heard muted voices and approaching footsteps.
Raising her head, she saw two men, both extremely handsome and both toting sleek, black guns, emerged from the trees.
“I’m fine,” Charlie whispered, her voice paper thin. “Check Nikolas.”
One of the men stooped down, his fingers pressing against Nikolas’s neck, feeling for a pulse.
Come on, come on, come on, Cadence willed.
The litany was on her lips but that was where it stayed. She couldn’t for the life of her make the words bubble out of her mouth. Nikolas had to be alive. He just had to be. It would be so unfair if he died. Staring at the striking man in front of her, she studied his face, watching for that moment of clarity, that moment when he acknowledged whether there was a pulse or not. It seemed to be suspended in time, taking far longer than it should have.
Finally, the brown eyes blinked. Nikolas was still with them.
Thank you God, Cadence said silently.
Nikolas was going to be okay. He was going to live.
Chapter 34
Cadence felt like her life had become a dream she couldn’t wake up from. An unending spiral of twists and turns. Nightmarish realities and decision that were not hers to make. She had absolutely no say in the chaotic events unfolding in her life.
Whisked from Russia in a private jet with no idea where she was going, fear gnawed at her insides like a rat devouring a bit of cheese. Little by little, she felt herself slipping further into an anxiety based tornado. Every question she asked was met with unnerving scrutiny and overly vague answers.
Exasperated by their nonchalant responses, she stopped asking and sat quietly, all the while stewing in uncertainty.
It had been too much to hope for that she be returned to Texas. In no uncertain terms, she was informed that until Henry was located and dealt with, it would not be safe for her to be anywhere in the vicinity of the two-story colonial she’d grown up in. And as for her scholarship at Julliard? On hold indefinitely.
Everything was being stripped away from her. Her family, her home, her education. Life as she knew it was officially over. Desperately she tried to find the silver lining in the situation she was in. It had never been so difficult. But she had to admit things could be worse. She could still be in Russia, locked away in a cold, musty cell. Or dead. But thanks to Charlie, she was neither.
She didn’t want anything to do with the strict, remote woman or The Perfect Order but Charlie had saved her life as well as Nikolas’s. So Cadence supposed she owed her the benefit of a doubt. But that didn’t mean she had to like it.
And she didn’t have to like Seth Reynolds either.
From the moment he’d picked her up at the airport, she’d sensed his disapproval. It poured off of him in waves so strong it took her breath away. With dark hair and frosty, blue eyes, he was a striking figure. Impossibly handsome. Infinitely mysterious. Everything about him reminded her of the things she hated about Nikolas. The cold, empty stares, the calculated conversations. Even the half-hearted gestures. But one thing unique to her current captor was his innate skill of appearing and disappearing from a room like a puff of smoke. Short and simple, the man put her on edge.
But all of this uneasiness bled away the instant his wife stepped into view.
With a warm smile and sparkling brown eyes, Madison met them at the front door of their Massachusetts home. Four months pregnant with their first child, she was like a ray of sunshine, shattering the darkest of rooms. It didn’t take long for Cadence to realize she was the polar opposite of Seth. But it was the effect she had on her sleek husband that was the most incredible.
One look at her and he transformed like a magic trick. The ice became fire, the distrust became a love so fierce there was no possible way to hide it. Madison was obviously the angel to his demon. His saving grace. The light to his dark.
There was such passion and chemistry between them, sometimes Cadence had to look away in embarrassment as if she were peeking into their private world through a key hole. But it was more than that. She was jealous. She wanted what they had. And she wanted it with Nikolas. But it was never going to happen.
From the meager tidbits Seth supplied her, she knew Nikolas was alive and well, recovering from his injuries in some far away hospital. No doubt he’d already forgotten about her. Perhaps it was all for the best. But the idea she was so easily discarded, left her feeling desolate and moody despite Madison’s best efforts to make her feel welcome in the English-style cottage.
The days flew by, becoming weeks, then months with still no solid lead on Henry’s whereabouts. She might have been pacing the floors bare if not for Madison’s constant support and attentiveness. Each day brought new activities meant to occupy her time. Welcoming the distractions, Cadence put her best face forward as she helped decorate the nursery for little Robert’s impending arrival, accompanied Madison on photo shoots around the city, and even began to teach the soon-to-be mom how to play the piano. She grew to love Maddie, as her husband so fondly called her, but with no real purpose or direction, her days became blurred, melting into one another. The only indication of time moving forward was Madison’s ever-growing waistline.
Finally she’d had enough of living suspended in time and relayed her intentions to leave. She had no idea where she would go but she could not continue to live her life in fear of what Henry may or may not do. Her demands were met with secretive glances and a demure insistence that she remain with them just a little while longer.
~ ~ ~
“It’s about time you woke up.”
Blinking his eyes against the light invading his eyes, Nikolas lifted his head, searching for the voice in the room.
Charlie sat in an overstuffed chair, her legs crossed gracefully. The pants suit she wore, royal blue this time, was the brightest thing in the room. Everything else was covered in white, off white, cream. Like waking up inside of a milk carton. A room he’d grown used to over the last several months. He hated it.
“What are you doing here?” The words scratched at his throat like sandpaper.
“I only thoug
ht it fitting to be here on the day you leave this place.” A whisper of pain crossed her face as she stood, the only reminder of the torn liver she’d received thanks to Dmitry’s guard. “You shouldn’t be so grouchy. After all, you are one lucky man.”
“How so?” Nikolas didn’t really want to know but he sensed Charlie would tell him anyway.
“You’re alive. The bullet was meant for your head. But thanks to your girlfriend, it took out your hip instead.”
Cadence.
She was a subject he’d been careful to ignore. Thankfully Charlie had sensed his reluctance to mention her. Until now.
“She’s not my girlfriend,” he growled.
The word brought up all kinds of pleasant thoughts and memories. The light shining in her eyes, the musical laughter spilling from her lips. The feel of her hands as she carefully bandaged him. Her soft mouth, her gentle smile. The memories were a double-edged sword. First they dazzled him with their brightness, their purity. But in the next breath, they plunged themselves through him, slicing his heart into useless ribbons.
Girlfriend. Currently the most hated word in his vocabulary.
“Could have fooled me,” Charlie murmured, one eyebrow arched in disbelief. Standing near his bed, her emerald eyes pierced his, analyzing him in a span of only a few seconds. “But I suppose it doesn’t matter anyway.”
Realizing he was walking into a trap by asking, he couldn’t resist. He had to know.
“What do you mean? Where is she?”
Alarm pounded through him and he struggled to sit up. Breaking out in a sweat at the simple movement, he dropped heavily back onto the bed, panting like he’d just run a marathon. A different kind of pain made him grit his teeth. Radiating from his hip, it raced along his leg, seizing the muscles with pointed talons. It seemed all of the physical therapy he’d been subjected to was still not enough to rid him completely of the pain.
“Here, drink this.” Charlie shoved a plastic cup into his hand.
Sipping at the cool liquid eased the fire in his throat but it did nothing to ease his anxiety.
“Where is she?” he repeated firmly. Suddenly nothing was more important than Cadence’s whereabouts.
Suddenly? Hasn’t it been that way since the first time you laid eyes on her?
Shut up, he told himself. Now was not the time for a mental war.
“Calm down. She’s fine.”
“You didn’t kill her?” he questioned, unable to keep the surprise, and relief, from his voice. It wasn’t above Charlie to get rid of a witness, especially one which was no longer of any use to her. His inquisitiveness was rewarded with a sour look.
“Good God, Nikolas. You must really take me for a monster.” Taking the cup from him, Charlie replaced it on a bedside table the color of eggshells. “Of course I didn’t kill her. After all, she risked her own life to save yours. I couldn’t very well dispose of her after that, now could I?”
A rhetorical question of course but they both knew the answer could go either way.
“Then where is she?” he pressed.
“Somewhere safe.”
“Damn it, Charlie, safe where?”
Immune to his aggressive attitude, Charlie merely bestowed him with an inscrutable look which only deepened his frustration. “She’s gone back to the U.S. She left the moment we were rescued.”
He hoped she was lying but he saw the truth in her eyes. Cadence was gone.
Turning his head, he glared at the ceiling above him, the panels as white and surgical as the walls he was trapped in.
She’d left. Of course she did. After all, why wouldn’t she? He hadn’t given her any promises, any reason to stay.
“You know,” Charlie continued, her tone deceptively casual, “I believe that girl thought she was in love with you.”
Dear God if that were only true.
But it wasn’t. Cadence didn’t love him. Couldn’t now that she’d seen him with Phoenix. He could try to explain but she would never believe him. Hell, he wouldn’t believe him. The whole thing was a lost cause.
Just like him.
He could feel Charlie watching him, her eyes drilling into him but he refused to meet them. If he did, he had no doubt she would see his thoughts. And those were one thing he intended to keep to himself.
“No.” He grimaced. “That’s just what great sex will do to a person. Especially a person like Cadence. Once she gets back on her feet and starts banging some fresh-faced college kid, she’ll realize it.”
The idea of Cadence sharing her bed, her body, with some other man, burned his gut, tore his heart. Closing his eyes to block out the mental image only made it worse but he couldn’t look at Charlie. Because then she’d know. Know what a fool he really was. He supposed she already did.
Cadence was gone. Best he start coming to terms with it. She was safe from Dmitry’s clutches. And from his. Better for her this way. He knew it and soon, so would she.
“You’re probably right,” Charlie allowed, her voice cool and reserved. “The sooner she gets on with her life, the better. Speaking of better, the results of your latest testing came back today. The good news is you’ll regain most of the use of your leg.”
Thank God. They were talking about something else. Something less painful.
“And the bad news?”
“It’s going to take longer than expected.”
“How much longer?”
“Nikolas, you have to understand. The bullet splintered your hip in three places.”
Abandoning his study of the ceiling, he swung his face in Charlie’s direction. “How. Much. Time?” he repeated. If she was dragging this out, it couldn’t be good.
Cold green eyes met his, deadpanned. “A year and a half. Minimum.”
“A year and a half?” He stared at her, flabbergasted. “What the hell am I supposed to do in the meantime?”
Mona Lisa would have been envious of the smile crossing Charlie’s lips. “You’re inventive. I’m sure you can find something to occupy yourself. But in the meantime, I’ve made arrangements for you. A place to rest and to recover.”
“Where?”
A glimmer of light brightened her eyes. “Let’s just say an old friend is going to be doing some babysitting.”
Before he could ask anything else, she spun on her heel and left the room, taking the answers with her.
“Der-mo,” he muttered to the empty room.
So not only would he be out of commission for a year and a half, he was going to be looked after by someone at some mystery location.
Perfect. Just fucking perfect.
Two hours later, he found himself being pushed out of the building in a wheelchair by a nurse dressed in lavender. Her dark hair reminded him of Cadence’s. The long chocolate tresses spilling over an ivory pillow as she lay beneath him, her blue eyes spearing into him, seeing him.
He must have made some sound because the nurse stopped just inside the glass doors.
“Are you all right, sir? Are you in pain?”
Hell yes, I’m in pain. Worse than I have ever been in my entire life.
“No, I’m fine. Just get me out of here.”
A standard black sedan waited for him in a covered entrance. The driver, a man Nikolas had never seen before, held the rear door open expectantly. Climbing inside the car was a chore which left his heart nearly exploding from his chest. He pulled the door shut and rested leaned back, the leather cool against his sweat glazed neck.
“To the airport,” Charlie replied beside him.
“The airport?” Where in the hell was she taking him? But when he asked, he received the typical nonchalant answer. “Somewhere safe.”
Useless. Absolutely useless to try and find out anything. I don’t even know why I try
.
Closing his eyes in frustration, the last thing he expected was sleep. But between the pain medication he’d been given and the softness of the seat underneath him, he felt himself slipping away.
Chapter 35
The flight had been quick and painless but as Charlie drove through the crowded streets of this unknown city, Nikolas felt the ache in his hip beginning to throb.
“Where the hell are we going?” he demanded.
Just as before, Charlie remained tight lipped to his grumbling, driving as though she hadn’t heard him. Exasperated, in pain, and with his temper beginning to flare, he had to bite his tongue against the curse words he was eager to bestow upon his employer.
Finally, after a volley of turns, they came to a stop in front of a three-story brick house.
Leaning heavily on the cane which would be his constant companion for some time, he followed Charlie up the stone pathway past an emerald lawn, freshly mowed, and flowerbeds, exploding with a rainbow of color.
Before Charlie even had a chance to knock, the door opened wide.
“Long time, no see, Kozlov.”
He should have known. “How are you doing, Reynolds?”
“Better than you, it seems. Come on in. Looks like you’re going to fall over any minute.”
Stepping through the doorway, the first thing to catch Nikolas’s eye were the photographs.
Carefully arranged, it was impossible not to notice how good they were. The person who had shot these had real talent.
He peered closer at one in particular. “I gotta say, I never pictured you for a grass skirt and lei kind of guy.” He grinned.
“Yeah, well, Maddie wouldn’t take no for an answer.”
“Does she ever?”
“No.” Seth chuckled.
“Where is Madison anyway?”
A strand of music stopped Nikolas from getting an answer.
