The goal of my podcast is to push listeners outside of their comfort zones and force them to question assumptions. I regularly invite divergent thinkers who disagree with one another. This interview came about thanks to a late-night sauna session with an old friend, a mixed-race Brown University grad who is liberal in nearly every sense of the word. I casually asked him, “If you could pick one person to be on the podcast, who would it be?” He answered without a moment’s hesitation. “Glenn Beck. His story is FASCINATING.” And it was. . . .
The Most Important Lesson Glenn Learned in Radio
“If I have to pick one, the best thing I learned, I learned by mistake. Somebody calls in [to the radio show in the early days] and said: ‘Glenn Beck, you’re Mr. Perfect, like you’ve ever done anything wrong. You just can’t accept a flaw in anybody.’ I stood there for a while and the room got really quiet. And I said, ‘You know, let me tell you something. You don’t have any idea who I even am, or the bad things that I have done. Let me tell you who I am.’ And I spent about 15 minutes being unbelievably, brutally honest and laying out who I am. The worst. No apology, nothing. Just saying: ‘You think you know? I’ve been lying to you. This is who I am.’ I turned off my mic and I looked at my then-intern, the lowest producer on the ladder who’s now my executive producer. I said to him, ‘Mark this down on your calendar. Today is the day Glenn Beck ended his career.’
“The opposite happened. I had grown up in a world where everything was manufactured, everything was written, timed, produced perfectly. What I realized that day was people are starving for something authentic. They’ll accept you, warts and all, if that’s who you really are. Once you start lying to them, they’re not interested. We’re all alike. So the best advice I learned by mistake, and that is: Be willing to fail or succeed on who you really are. Don’t ever try to be anything else. What you are is good enough for whatever it is you’re doing.”
Righteous Doesn’t Mean Radical
Glenn recounted what he learned from an old lady who, at age 16, gave a Jew a bowl of soup. It was a death sentence at the time and she was sent to Auschwitz:
“She said, ‘Glenn, remember, the righteous didn’t suddenly become righteous. They just refused to go over the cliff with everybody else.’ That’s all we have to do: Know what our principles—not our interests—are today. And as the world goes over the cliff, I’m not going to change my principles. Treating human beings, whether they’re like me or not like me, whether they’re the same religion or a different religion, with love and respect.”
On a Life-Changing Conversation with Yale Professor Wayne Meeks
In his early 30s, Glenn spent a semester at Yale as a theology major and felt out of place:
“[Wayne] reached across the table, and he grabbed my hand and he said, ‘You listen to me for a second, would you? You realize you belong here, right? You’re okay to be here.’ That endorsement, and as stupid as it seems, opened up my whole world. Because it was the first time somebody said, ‘You’re smart enough. You can do it.’ . . . That changed my world. I wish it hadn’t, in some ways. I wish it didn’t mean so much to me. But I’ve learned from that, now in my position, to say that to people. Because there’s something stupid in us that just makes us feel like we’re not good enough, we’re not smart enough.”
Glenn’s Guiding Quote
“Question with boldness even the existence of a God; because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason, than that of blindfolded fear.”—Thomas Jefferson
“There’s a mystic who says there’s only one really good question, which is, ‘What am I unwilling to feel?’ ”
Spirit animal: Panther
* * *
Tara Brach
Tara Brach (FB: TaraBrach, tarabrach.com) is a PhD in clinical psychology and one of the leading teachers of Buddhist thinking and meditation in the Western world. She is the founder of the Insight Meditation Community of Washington in Washington, D.C., and her lectures are downloaded hundreds of thousands of times each month at tarabrach.com.
I was first introduced to Tara by Maria Popova (page 406), who said, “[Tara] has changed my life, perhaps more profoundly than anybody in my life.” I then read Tara’s first book, Radical Acceptance, after it was recommended to me by a neuroscience PhD who worked with Adam Gazzaley (page 135). I digested 10 pages each night in the tub, and it immediately had a huge impact. So much so that I initially stopped reading after 20% to test-drive the lessons in real life. There was a lot to work with.
Perhaps my favorite lesson, excerpted below, is “Inviting Mara to Tea.” It relates to actively recognizing anger and other types of what we consider “negative” emotions. Rather than trying to suppress something or swat it away, we say to the emotion/ourselves, “I see you.” This counterintuitively helps to dissolve or resolve the issue. For instance, if you’re meditating and anger comes up, maybe the memory of some personal slight, you might silently repeat “anger, anger” to yourself and acknowledge it, which allows you to quickly return to whatever your focus is.
I’ve always been a fighter, and calm acknowledgment doesn’t come naturally to me, which makes it all the more valuable.
Fighting emotions is like flailing in quicksand—it only makes things worse. Sometimes, the most proactive “defense” is a mental nod and wink.
* * *
Inviting Mara to Tea
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
Some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all! . . .
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
—Rumi
One of my favorite stories of the Buddha shows the power of a wakeful and friendly heart. The night before his enlightenment, the Buddha fought a great battle with the Demon God Mara, who attacked the then-bodhisattva Siddhartha Gautama with everything he had: lust, greed, anger, doubt, etc. Having failed, Mara left in disarray on the morning of the Buddha’s enlightenment.
Yet, it seems Mara was only temporarily discouraged. Even after the Buddha had become deeply revered throughout India, Mara continued to make unexpected appearances. The Buddha’s loyal attendant, Ananda, always on the lookout for any harm that might come to his teacher, would report with dismay that the “Evil One” had again returned.
Instead of ignoring Mara or driving him away, the Buddha would calmly acknowledge his presence, saying, “I see you, Mara.”
He would then invite him for tea and serve him as an honored guest. Offering Mara a cushion so that he could sit comfortably, the Buddha would fill two earthen cups with tea, place them on the low table between them, and only then take his own seat. Mara would stay for a while and then go, but throughout the Buddha remained free and undisturbed.
When Mara visits us, in the form of troubling emotions or fearsome stories, we can say, “I see you, Mara,” and clearly recognize the reality of craving and fear that lives in each human heart. By accepting these experiences with the warmth of compassion, we can offer Mara tea rather than fearfully drive him away. Seeing what is true, we hold what is seen with kindness. We express such wakefulness of heart each time we recognize and embrace our hurts and fears.
Our habit of being a fair-weather friend to ourselves—of pushing away or ignoring whatever darkness we can—is deeply entrenched. But just as a relationship with a good friend is marked by understanding and compassion, we can learn to bring these same qualities to our own inner life.
Pema Chödrön says that through spiritual practice, “We are learning to make friends with ourselves, our life,
at the most profound level possible.” We befriend ourselves when, rather than resisting our experience, we open our hearts and willingly invite Mara to tea.
“The key in a restaurant, and the key in any kind of high-pressure situation, I think, is that 75% of success is staying calm and not losing your nerve. The rest you figure out, but once you lose your calm, everything else starts falling apart fast.”
* * *
Sam Kass
Sam Kass (TW: @chefsamkass, troveworldwide.com) almost became a pro baseball player. Instead, he pivoted a history major from the University of Chicago into becoming the private chef for the Obamas. He then became the senior White House policy advisor for nutrition and was named #11 on Fast Company magazine’s 2011 list of 100 Most Creative People for his work, which focused on establishing private-sector partnerships to reduce childhood obesity to just 5% by 2030. Sam was the first person in the history of the White House to have a position both in the Executive Office of the President and the Residence. He is now a founding partner of Trove, which connects businesses, organizations, and governments that are serious about making an impact on the world with the people and tools to help them achieve it.
From His First Sous-Chef—Two Rules for the Kitchen and Life
“The first is: Never serve anything you wouldn’t want to eat. Never serve crap. It’s Rule Number 1. You can have a high standard on everything. Rule Number 2: When things get really busy, instead of just plowing ahead, trying to work as fast as you can, and just going through all the tickets, he always would tell me, ‘Step back and come up with a plan. Look at what dishes you have, and figure out the most efficient way to cook them.’ So, if you have five of one thing, don’t just cook them one at a time. Get them out, prep them together, and do them together.”
Pros Use Acid
“One difference between home cooks and pros is acidity level. When you think it’s ready, add another lemon. Pros bump up the acidity level. It’s one of the secrets. We add a little more acid, and it makes everything taste better.”
The Secret to Great Eggs
“Eggs are one of the hardest things to cook. Some of the great chefs in the world, their test for a new cook would be how to make an omelet. That would be their one master test. So, I actually like eggs all ways, but almost always soft, like a soft-boiled egg. I’ll do eggs over easy or really soft scrambled eggs. The trick for soft scrambled eggs is—after you get your butter knives out—I crack the eggs straight into the pan, let them cook for a second, and then mix them up. Then, before you think they’re done, take them out because they’ll harden a little bit as they sit on the plate.”
TF: In the last few years, I’ve developed a love affair with soft-boiled eggs, which can be a decadent indulgence if done right. Here’s my approach: 1) Bring water to a boil. 2) Gently add eggs and set timer for exactly 5 minutes. 3) Manage the heat so it’s a gentle bubbling boil, not a violent lava pit. 4) At 5 minutes, pour out the hot water and replace with cold tap water. 5) Remove, peel, and enjoy.
✸ Advice to your younger self at college graduation?
“‘Passion’ is an overstated word. I think passion develops. . . . I threw myself into food, and although I was passionate about it, it wasn’t a life passion until I combined food and nourishment with health, sustainability, politics, policy, and what we’re doing to really help make sure that all people can live healthy, productive, awesome lives through the food that they’re eating.
“That is what became that passion. . . . A lot of people [say], ‘Find your passion.’ I think passion comes from a combination of being open and curious, and of really going all-in when you find something that you’re interested in.”
* * *
Edward Norton
Edward Norton (TW: @EdwardNorton, crowdrise.com) is an actor, filmmaker, and activist. He has been nominated for three Academy Awards for his work in Primal Fear, American History X, and Birdman. He has starred in scores of other films, including Fight Club, The Illusionist, and Moonrise Kingdom. Edward is also a serial startup founder (e.g., CrowdRise), a UN ambassador for biodiversity, a massively successful investor (e.g., early Uber), a pilot, and is deeply involved with wilderness conservation.
You Want to Be Taken Seriously? Then Take Things Seriously
“[Toby Orenstein] was a great director. . . . If you’re lucky, you have someone when you’re young who doesn’t talk down to you, who speaks to you as a serious person and exhorts you to take something seriously, to take work seriously. If a person does that in the right way, you feel elevated. As a young person, you feel like someone is saying to you, ‘Hey! You want to be taken seriously? Then take things seriously. Do the work, you know? Don’t coast, you know?’ I’d say that’s what she gave.”
✸ One of Edward’s recommended essays
“The Catastrophe of Success” by Tennessee Williams.
TF: One of my favorite lines from this piece is: “For me, a convenient place to work is a remote place among strangers where there is good swimming.”
✸ Edward’s favorite documentaries
Bennett Miller’s The Cruise and Adam Curtis’s films. “He’s got a four-part film called The Century of the Self, and then a three-part series called The Power of Nightmares. I think those are absolutely brilliant films, dense but really eye-opening.”
TF: The Century of the Self has been recommended to me by several podcast guests.
✸ Three favorite recent films?
“Of late, I’m a huge fan of the French filmmaker Jacques Audiard. I think, in the last few years, he put up a hat trick of films”: The Beat That My Heart Skipped, A Prophet, and Rust and Bone.
TF: A Prophet is now one of my favorite films. If you like gangster movies, it is violently gorgeous and teaches a lot of leadership lessons.
Marlon Brando: Real Genius Versus Faked Genius
“One of the best stories I ever heard about young people in an acting class, and the difference between what happens to people typically and what a real, authentic kind of genius is [relates to Marlon Brando]. Harry Belafonte talked about being in an acting class with Marlon. They were both 19 or 20 years old in Greenwich Village. [The organizers of the class said,] ‘Okay. One person’s in his apartment, and the other one enters. You’re the person who’s on your couch in your apartment. Just run with it.’ People were doing all kinds of forced conversations or trying to create a scenario. . . . Supposedly, Marlon sat on the couch and started reading a magazine, and whoever it was walked in his door. He looked up, jumped up, grabbed the guy by the shirt front, threw him out the door, and slammed the door. Everybody was like, ‘What are you doing?’ He said, ‘I don’t know who that fucking guy is. He just walked into my apartment. He scared the shit out of me.’ You know what I mean? It’s like, ‘Wait a minute. Yeah, there probably wouldn’t be a scene. There probably wouldn’t be a conversation.’”
“Wine is a grocery, not a luxury.”
Spirit animal: Spinner dolphin
* * *
Richard Betts
Richard Betts (TW: @yobetts, myessentialwine.com) served as the wine director at The Little Nell in Aspen from 2000 to 2008. Richard also passed the Court of Master Sommeliers’ Masters Exam on his first attempt, becoming the ninth person in history ever to do so. As of this writing, there are only roughly 240 Master “somms” in the world. He is the author of The Essential Scratch & Sniff Guide to Becoming a Wine Expert and The Essential Scratch & Sniff Guide to Becoming a Whiskey Know-It-All.
THE BEGINNING OF RICHARD’S WINE ADVENTURE
Richard was on track to become a lawyer, and . . . he hated it. Many years earlier, he’d spent time in Italy. Then: “When I was in grad school in Flagstaff, I was clerking for a small environmental firm. I found it didn’t matter whether you were doing environmental, or you were doing bankruptcy—it was the same Monopoly board, making the same motions, pass Park Place every time. You just traded the hat for the shoe or whatever your piece was. It’s s
till the same game, and I found I didn’t like the game. So, I was really ripe for this moment. . . . It was about to be thesis defense weekend. My thesis was great, and I was supposed to go to law school six weeks later.
“[Instead,] I walked out of the lab, hopped over the fence, and ran across Route 66 there in Flagstaff to a small restaurant/wine store. I didn’t know anything about wine. I just knew that I drank it daily in Italy and how much that meant to me. I walked in and I bought totally based on sight . . . I thought, ‘I kind of recognize that label,’ and I took it home, popped the cork, and poured a glass. That first smell took me back to a moment almost four years earlier when living in Italy. I specifically remembered a dinner I had at the Osteria del Cinghiale Bianco in Florence. I remembered where I sat, where my companion sat, what she ate, what she wore, what I ate, and what the waitress did right and wrong that night. All of that just came rushing back from one smell.”
✸ What are a few underpriced or underrated wines?
Grenache from Rusden, Zinfandel from Turley, and Chenin Blanc from Mosse. And don’t forget: “Try smelling with your mouth open, as you’ll get more information.”
Tools of Titans Page 56
