by LJ Swallow
Is he trying to convince me or himself?
"Was it me?” I ask. "Did us having sex do this? Did I hurt you?”
Joss laughs and holds my face in both hands. "Far from it. You know that.”
I hold his face in return and place a soft kiss on his mouth, but he pulls away. "I think I’ll rest.”
Joss is exhausted, but there’s more happening here. I can’t feel the same affection he had for me the night in his study. This isn’t like Xander’s deliberate closing down, but as if his interest in what’s happening around him is buried.
"Maybe you’ll feel better if you do. Xander has plans to meet up with Taron’s friends later. You might need your energy.”
Joss swings his long legs around on the bed and settles back, hands laced behind his head. Toned abs peek out from beneath his T-shirt and I bite down the desire to explore them again. Joss on the bed? Tempting.
"Tell him I’ll be down when I feel up to it.” His words and closed eyes shut down any chance of following my thoughts through.
"Talk to me if you need to, Joss,” I whisper and kiss his forehead. "I’m worried about you.”
"I will.”
He doesn’t open his eyes.
He will talk to me, whether he likes it or not. I know something’s wrong. I’m pissed off nobody told me everything about the incident, especially after Xander’s words about not hiding things. I guess that doesn’t include me. I grit my teeth. We need to work on the trust issue - on both sides.
My thoughts turn to Heath I shake my head at the situation. They love and care for me, always ready to step in if I need anything, but I do the same to them. I’ve seen them interact as a family unit rather than four guys sharing a house, and I add something different to the dynamic. I’ve become the glue holding them together; I’m not something to break them apart. Hopefully this will be accepted soon.
Loud music pounds through Heath’s bedroom door, and when I knock, he doesn’t respond. Another one who wants his own space.
Tired and stiff after the days on the go, I grab my towel and head to the bathroom. I pull open the shower screen and turn the taps full, watching the steaming water pour down as I strip.
Bliss. I close my eyes as I stand beneath the water jet, inhaling the soothing scent of my lavender and geranium bodywash as I lather myself. The house has a bath, and I often eye it up dreaming of bubbles and long relaxing soaks but haven’t had a chance yet.
The bathroom door opens and someone walks in. Annoyed, I rub steam from the shower screen glass to see who’s invading my privacy.
Heath. He stops, hand on the door, and we stare at each other. There’s no disguising I’m in here since I’m plainly obvious through bubble-streaked glass.
"Heath! I’m in the shower.”
"I can see,” he replies. "You should’ve locked the door.”
"You should’ve knocked.” Water continues to run down my hair.
The shower door opens and Heath grins at me. "Sorry.”
I splash water at him. "Sorry? You apologise by not leaving and instead take a closer look?”
Heath rubs the water from his face and draws a leisurely gaze from my breasts to my mouth. We’ve shared a shower before, and the memories dance happily into my mind as I attempt to stay cross with him. Impossible, especially when he pulls his T-shirt over his head revealing his too-hard-to-resist body and the promise of a repeat performance.
"I’ll leave if you want.” The water continues to trickle, and I stare back, lips parted. "Or I can join you?” He unbuttons his jeans. My pupils dilate and my nipples harden as he continues his slow steady look that tells me every intention.
"Depends what mood you’re in. I’m unwinding from the stress and conflict downstairs.” I push wet hair from my face.
"You could put me in a better mood?” he suggests, hands still on his fly.
Heath, the guy who does crazy things to my body when we’re in the same room and even crazier things when I’m in his arms, stands half-naked offering me more of a favourite addiction.
I move towards him and curl a damp hand around the back of his head to pull his face closer. "If you make it worth my while,” I whisper.
Heath laughs in a too cocky way as he slips out of his jeans and steps into the shower. He winds an arm around my waist, drawing me against him. I wait for a soft kiss, but the water splashes as Heath slams me back against the tiles, his hard mouth closing over mine.
My soapy body slides against his chest, as he pushes me harder into the wall, and kisses me deep and hard. My face smarts as his growth scrapes across my face, my lips swelling at the ferocity of his kiss. He lifts me and pushes one of his legs between mine, brushing against my slick centre. I grasp his shoulders and dig my nails into his skin as he grips beneath my legs, hands on my backside, as he circles his tongue around my breasts, teasing my already peaked nipples.
I grip his shoulders harder, and he looks up at me, the smug smile growing.
"I’m sure I can manage that,” he replies.
Water drips from his flattening hair and touches his lips. He licks the drops away, and the water plays over us as he assaults me with another toe-curling kiss. Heath slides his hand between my legs, and his mouth parts, his eyes filling with lust, watching my response as he strokes me. He pushes a hand against my sensitive sex, thumb on my clit, and I close my eyes, relishing the chance to fall away from everything happening outside this room and in our crazy world.
I grasp his hair in one hand and our lips meld, hot breath mingling. Heath swipes his tongue along my lip. "You taste so fucking good, Vee.”
The water runs down around us, and however hard we try to hide from the outside world, I know it isn’t far, for long. "Don’t stop.”
"No chance.” Heath roughly turns me around, and I almost slip before righting myself and pressing my hands against the wall. My head tugs back as he winds my damp hair into a ponytail around his hand. I lose my footing again, and he drops my hair, winding a strong arm around my waist to steady me.
Heath’s erection presses against my back, and the ache between my legs becomes unbearable. I push back against him, dipping my head forward.
"You’re so fucking beautiful, Vee.” He slides his hand between my legs again. "So fucking wet for me.”
He circles both my wrists in his other hand and holds my arms above my head, against the tiles, nipping and sucking at my skin along my neck and shoulders. He positions himself behind, and I shiver as I feel the tip of him against me.
Heath guides himself into me, and I tip my face upwards to the water pouring down on me. I can forget every other moment that happened today, every stress, every complication, and hang onto this perfect one with Heath.
15
VEE
After spending more time than I anticipated in the shower, I return downstairs to catch up on what’s happening. Xander and Ewan are still in the kitchen, Xander standing behind Ewan, watching him work.
Xander looks around as I walk in, his face brighter than when I left the room. Some of his tension has washed from his face, but the tiredness remains.
"Seth came through. He’s set up a meeting with Syv and Abel.
"You look surprised,” I reply.
"They must be short of cash since they’re happy to meet at short notice.”
"Whereabouts?"
Xander looks back over Ewan’s shoulder. "The Warehouse, 10:00 p.m."
My stomach lurches at his words, and I can't help but glance at Ewan. His brow furrows, and he nods at me. I shake away the human reaction. No way can anything like that happen to me again; I’m a million miles from who I was that night.
"Where is Seth?” I ask.
Xander points at the lounge without looking around. Of course he is.
Seth sits in the same spot on the sofa every time I see him in the lounge, lost in his own world, as if sitting there keeps him grounded. Joss must sense Seth’s unhappiness and worry, but does nothing to help him. Joss who still
hasn't emerged to help. I asked Heath if Joss was okay, and he brushed me off in the same way Joss did. Following our sexual connection, I pick up Joss’s emotions more readily, and I’m concerned how that’s faded today.
"Are you ready for an exciting night out?” I ask.
"Oh yeah, meeting assassins, that’s just awesome.” He adds to his sarcasm with a thumbs up.
"At least you found some different clothes in your backpack.”
He’s changed into black jeans and a T-shirt with a symbol the same as the one he said was John’s. It’s unfamiliar to me—a semi-circle in a grunge pattern with a cross in the middle, red on a black background. I’m sure the guys will notice and, like me, wonder about the significance.
He brushes at his tee. "Yeah. A bit creased.”
"I’m sure the guys will lend you an iron.”
"You think?”
Omigod, that was a joke. He doesn’t think the Horsemen possess an iron, surely? And why would anybody want to iron a T-shirt?
"They’d probably just hit me with it.” Seth points at his cheek. "I have enough bruises.”
"Seth, I don’t think they’ll hurt you.”
"I know, Vee," he says. "I do feel better when you're with me, but, man, those guys scare me."
My heart goes out to him. I have some idea how he feels, but the guys told me the bizarre truth from day one. My idiosyncrasy meant I accepted what they told me, and Seth's gradually forced to do the same, confronted with a reality he cannot deny.
"They don't usually allow people into their lives," I say. "They’re suspicious of everybody.”
"But they allowed you."
"I'm connected to them."
"How?"
"It's a long story."
"The best stories always are. But I know you're safe now, and that matters to me, especially after what happened to the others in the group." He rubs his hands on his knees and studies me. His pale blue eyes distract me because they're an unusual contrast to his pale face and dark hair, and often filled with an uncertainty he tries to mask.
"I'm sorry about Casey," I whisper. "That must've been hard."
He looks away, at a spot on the wall above the TV. "I try not to think about it. Part of me hopes she might still be alive, but that's not likely, is it?"
"Never say never in this world."
We lapse into silence, and Seth fidgets with his jacket zip. "I wish Ewan would return my laptop. Or phone. Or anything really."
"Finding it hard to be unplugged, huh?"
"Yeah. There're people I want to contact, you know? I think the guys are trying to stop me."
"You're welcome to borrow mine any time."
"I will. Thanks." He pauses. "Mr Friendly says he'll take me to my place to pick up some gear so I can stay here. Do you think I should?"
"You know that’s a good idea,” I say softly.
Ewan wanders in, and Seth tenses. He's wary around Xander, but seems genuinely scared of Ewan. Considering his size, tattoos, and general taciturn nature, I don’t blame him.
"I hear you wanted your laptop?" Ewan half drops the silver laptop onto Seth’s lap. "Some interesting info you had on that hard drive."
"Yes, it's good we found some connections, isn't it?" I ask in an attempt to diffuse. "Very helpful."
Ewan chews his lip and drops the hard drive on Seth too. "I'm glad I had a chance to look at your research. Do you have backup files?"
Seth smoothes his hair and flips open the lid. "Those were the backup files."
"Cool." He digs his hands into his back pockets as he watches Seth plug the hard drive into the laptop. Seth's key tapping becomes more insistent, and he mutters under his breath as he rapidly moves through files and screens.
"What the fuck?" He glances up at Ewan. "What did you do?"
"Removed some information."
I look over to Seth's screen. "What information?"
"Removed? You've corrupted the fucking files!" growls Seth.
Whoa. I tense expecting an aggressive response from Ewan; I bet he's waiting for the opportunity to attack. Instead, Ewan regards him, and his mouth hardens. "You had a lot of shit about me and the guys on there. I don't want that spread amongst your conspiracy buddies."
"But how did you manage? These files were protected..." Seth pushes both hands through his hair. "Months of research gone! Not just our investigations into you."
"Oh, don't stress, I have the important parts on my laptop now. You don't anymore, that's all."
Seth holds his temples with his forefingers and chants under his breath, "Do not react.”
"Ewan," I say. "Was that necessary?"
He looks at me and runs his tongue along his teeth. "He tried to fuck with the Horsemen, and Pestilence has special skills, remember?"
Seth drops his laptop on the table and shoves it away from himself before sinking back and staring at the ceiling. I glare at Ewan and his smug smile turns into a frown. "What?” he mouths at me.
"He hasn’t crossed you! He bloody helped, Ewan.”
"Yeah? Then why store files about us on there? Hardly a friendly move.”
"We didn’t know who you were,” protests Seth. "We log anybody who’s suspicious.”
Ewan narrows his eyes. "We? Who’s the ‘we’ digging info on us?”
"My dead friends!” I blink at Seth’s loud, harder tone, praying this won’t spiral into an argument. "So don’t worry. Nobody else has information about the people you murder.”
Ewan takes a step forward and looks down at him. "Don't cross me, or you'll come across worse viruses than the ones on your laptop, mate."
Does Ewan hear Seth mutter "fuck you” under his breath?
I pull a disparaging face. With a shrug, Ewan heads out of the room followed by a glare from Seth.
"Well that doesn't help our trust issues, does it?" he snaps.
"The guys are very protective of their lives; you should understand that, Seth."
"Hmm." He flicks his fingernails as he stares ahead.
My curiosity gets the better of me. "What information exactly did you have on them?"
"Like I said, murder victims. Their movements over the last few months. Their background."
"Background? How far back?" I glance at the door in case Ewan is still around.
"Not far enough. I think they changed their identities a few years ago, and I'm sure they'll do it again."
"Ten years?"
"Something like that. But we—I—will find out who they really are." He side glances me. "Sorry, Vee. I know they're your friends, but I trust them about as much as they trust me."
"Maybe that will change." I force a bright smile.
Maybe, but not any time soon.
16
HEATH
We sit in silence on the drive to the Warehouse, Vee in the back of the car with Seth and Joss, Xander beside me. Ewan chose to ride his bike again, but this time tails me rather than driving away to take his "scenic route.” I heard Seth complain to Vee, he's exhausted over the last few days; I forget how frail humans are. Yeah, I need sleep, but I can keep going as long as needed. In the past, we've worked 24/7 on cases, and not even ones as important as this one. I'm wired after the last few days and eager to keep going too. My anxiety rests as much with the threat to human life, and not just Seth's. This is big, otherwise Xander would calm down for five minutes.
I’m still not coping with him trying to follow a hundred leads at once. I’m unable to get my head around dealing with Nova Pharm at the same time as the assassin issue. Sure, they’re probably connected but man I’m confused by all this. Hopefully Ewan can straighten this out, join a few more dots, and we’ll have a clear direction. This had better include whatever the hell those things are and how they're connected to the chaos swirling around us.
Tonight will be a start, or another dead end to infuriate us all.
Joss isn’t a great help right now. He’s either feeling overwhelmed as I am, or something more than he’s admitting
happened earlier today. Ewan told me he’d found him unconscious, and Joss was unsure what happened. Ewan didn’t see anything unusual, and there was no sign when we left him outside to check over the place too. Joss doesn’t usually imagine these things, so what the hell happened?
Xander strides through the crowded entrance, into the bloody awful music, and pushes his way downstairs to the motley crew writhing on the dancefloor with Joss hot on his heels. I'm bemused by Xander pausing in the middle of the crowd who've parted around him as he stands hands on hips surveying the room.
Vee hangs back in the entrance hall with Ewan and Seth. She doesn’t seem keen on a return visit. Ewan holds Vee's hand and dips his head to talk to her, as she looks at the floor. My concern and need to protect draw me back over there too.
"Everything okay?" I ask.
Vee straightens and nods, but I don't miss her glance at Ewan. Seth chews a nail and edges toward the wall. I’m guessing not his usual hangout.
"Xander's heading up the other stairs." Ewan points at Xander's tall figure halfway up the metal steps opposite.
A girl bumps into him on the steps and stops to apologise. It’s hard to see her face from a distance, but the strobe lights pick out a slender figure and short dress. In the past, Xander would’ve placed a hand on her arm, responded to the inevitable flirting with his hot self, but today he doesn’t pause.
Yeah, whatever he says about her, Vee’s changed him. I'm interested to see if his random hook-ups continue, or whether his respect for our new dynamic will stop that.
I'm sure if he gets a taste of Vee, he won't want to look anywhere else again.
Joss told me his suspicion about Vee and Xander, but I can't believe anything happened. Xander's adamant he won't succumb to her, as he puts it, and the tension remains between them. Perhaps he's a little softer around Vee, but I can't see him giving in to how he feels yet.
I tip Vee’s chin and kiss her softly, my body immediately firing at her sweet scent and taste, evoking memories of our time in the shower earlier. She strokes my cheek with the back of her hand, and the smile she gives indicates she’s having the same memories.
