by Asia Marquis
“Yeah, well, nothing's changed. This marriage is a farce, and you know it. Stop trying to make it something more than it really is.”
His mouth dropped open. A farce? “Get out,” he said coldly. “Now.”
Throwing up her hands, she stepped back. “I don't have time to fight with you. I have work in an hour.”
“You don't even have to keep working. You're wealthy now.” It was becoming so tiring, this game she was playing with him. He had no idea why she wanted to keep working herself to the bone when she had the house and the money.
Unless, of course, she intended to end their marriage, their farce, early. He fumed at her.
She laughed, but it wasn't a happy laugh. “Yes, I do. Who knows what Grandma will do next to rip this house from me. Or what your grandmother will do.” Shaking her head, she took a step back. “No, I'll keep working and saving up until she's done with this bullshit and you and I are divorced, thank you. Better to be safe than sorry.”
Then she left him, her coldness still tangible in the room. He was so sick and tired of being treated like dirt by her. Whatever her goddamn problem was, he was going to find a way to fix it. He couldn't spend a year with such a cold bitch, that was for damn sure. There had to be a reason behind it.
Maybe he was the problem? He spent a long time thinking about how he could have contributed to the problem. “What do you think, Roman? I feel like I've been nothing but a gentleman ever since I found out I was stuck with her.”
The word stuck bothered him. He didn't feel stuck with her, and that was probably what hurt him the most. He liked having Ashanti around, when she was being nice. Sometimes even when she wasn't. She was at least interesting, a challenge, and she still didn't terrify him though she was hardly a calming force.
Chapter 8
Ashanti
As soon as she left the room, she knew she had fucked up. Bad. If she weren't too proud, she would have turned around immediately and apologized, but she was too proud. Too proud, and too busy. She jumped into the shower and washed away the anger and forced herself to stop thinking about how rude she had been. It was going to be easier to deal with after work, she reasoned.
Ashanti had never been terribly good at apologies. She didn't have many people to apologize to, aside from her parents, and when they were around she rarely did anything to upset them. No, the last time she apologized to someone, it was… him. The shadow in her past. The bad memory she just wanted to forget, and the reason that she couldn't let herself like Troy.
When she liked someone, she went nuts, and she couldn't risk that happening again. Not when her career could be at stake.
Her wedding ring was already an annoyance. The way the diamond jutted out from the gold made it so it scratched against the wall when she slept and caught in her hair when she ran her fingers through.
Just one more crappy thing about that crappy relationship. She was ready to call it quits, but it was much to early to even see the finish line. A whole year of suffering through his beautiful face? The thought horrified her.
Aunt Viviana texted her as her family was boarding the plane, while she was at a red light before she got to work.
It was good to see you. Remember what I said. Marriage is so important. No pressure, lol. I'm rooting for you guys! You can text me if you need someone to vent to.
Ashanti had never really considered her aunt as someone worth talking to, but she was beginning to understand why she drank. Having a husband was hard, and it was even harder since she married into his drinking problem. She knew, then, that her aunt picked up the habit from him.
She wondered what she might pick up from Troy.
Thanks. I'm sure I'll be texting you a lot over the next year.
She hit send just as the light turned green. She didn't know how she was going to make it up to Troy, but she somehow had to apologize to him. I'm not usually so emotional or easy to anger. What has gotten into me lately?
On the weekend, she worked 3 to 10 both Saturday and Sunday. She didn't make a lot at the hotel, only 9 dollars an hour, but she wanted to keep her independence. It scared the hell out of her that she could lose her house and her inheritance at any moment.
“Hey, Ashanti!” The girl at the front desk called. “Good to see you! I hear you got married yesterday. How come you're already back? Shouldn't you be on a honeymoon or something?”
Ashanti smiled at Clara. She was a sweet girl, and only recently turned 18. Her father owned the hotel, so even though she made a lot of mistakes, she never got yelled at. Not that very many people did. Her manager here was a lot more lenient than the head librarian was. “Nah, no honeymoon for me. Trust me, coming to work is a much wanted reprieve from being around my new husband.”
When she said the words, it was like a shock to her system. It suddenly became real, that she was married. She was no longer Ashanti Holbrook. She was Ashanti Whitemarsh.
“I see! My mom says that a lot, too, when she goes on long vacations by herself. She's in Hawaii right now, actually.” She stepped into the back room to grab her purse and coat, then clocked out. “So, I'll see you later! Congratulations, though.”
“Thanks,” Ashanti answered, watching as Clara left.
The day went about how you'd expect. Those staying at the hotel came and went, enjoying their stay in beautiful Sedona. They snapped pictures of the lobby, which Ashanti deftly avoided for the most part. They swam in the pool, they walked around taking photos of cacti, they complained about how hot their room was, they complained about having too few pillows, they complained about… well, they complained about everything.
Still, Ashanti would rather deal with their complaints than go home and swallow her pride, apologizing to Troy.
As her shift ended and she was replaced by the girl who worked the night shift (a terminally shy girl with worse anxiety than even Ashanti, but a nice girl nonetheless), Ashanti found a text on her phone. It was from Grandma Rosa.
Troy's birthday is on Friday! You should set up a surprise lunch! Don't want you to miss work again, but you have to take care of your husband too!!!
Smiling, Ashanti nodded. Perfect! That's how I can apologize for being such a bitch. I'll be nice for the next few days, and then surprise him with a party. Hopefully, he's the kind who likes surprise parties.
She left the hotel, feeling lighter than when she arrived. She would buy some of that beer he liked, the expensive kind. A hefty sum had hit her bank account the day they got married, so she could easily afford nicer things. The local pizza place should make him happy, too, she thought. I'll invite his grandma, and mine, so it'll be a small party.
When she got home, she found the house dark and quiet. There was a light coming from underneath the guest bedroom's door. She knocked on the door and Roman barked (using his inside voice, like a good boy), but Troy didn't answer.
She knocked again.
“Go away.”
“I just wanted to apologize.”
“Thanks. Now go away.”
Maybe it would be harder to get him to forgive her than she expected. I really fucked things up this time, she thought, and that bothered her more than she expected. She wanted him to forgive her and go back to being nosy and bothersome. She didn't want to be shut out.
Stepping away, she went into her bedroom. He had cleaned up for her after she left, making her bed too. His tidiness must have come from being in the military.
She went to sleep earlier than normal, trying to think of ways to make him forgive her for being such a jerk. The only ideas that came up hinged on that surprise party. It was important to really impress him.
Troy
As soon as his eyes opened on his birthday, Troy's mood was foul. The blackest of clouds hung over him as he showered, dressed, ate, let his dog outside. As usual, Ashanti slept in much later than he did. That gave him time to realize that if he had to deal with her before his mood lightened, he would only argue with her.
They had been avoiding eac
h other for days. Ever since that fight, Troy hadn't felt up to making things right with her. He hated the silence that hung between them, but at the same time had no idea how to fill it.
As far as he knew, they had nothing in common except that horror TV show they watched before their first big fight in the house. He didn't know what hobbies she had, other than being a jerk to men for no reason. He didn't know what she wanted out of a husband. He didn't even know if she preferred roses or carnations, so he couldn't buy her flowers to apologize for an argument he didn't start.
I'm just not a very good husband, he thought with a shake of his head.
He filled the silence by using the money in his account to join a gym. He quickly made friends with some of the other men that lifted there. There was a surprising number of ex-military in the gym, lifting weights and staying fit. He spent his dinners hanging out with them, eating meals cooked by their girlfriends or wives. Wishing he could return the favor.
It was easy enough to explain that he and his new wife were going through a rough patch. A few of them even said they went through the same thing, and that he shouldn't worry about it. They didn't know the whole truth, though. They had no clue how weird their situation really was.
One of the men, Sam, was single and probably didn't have plans later that day. Sam was one of the friendlier guys at the gym, and immediately offered to spend time with Troy as soon as he explained what happened to get him discharged.
Troy gave him a ring. If anyone was going to be free, it would be Sam. The guy had all the makings of a new best friend, which Troy was sorely lacking after Jack fucked things up royally.
“Hey, man. It's a bit early to be calling me to come spot you.” The man's voice sounded tired.
Troy chuckled. “Yeah, that's not why I'm calling. Look, it's my birthday and I'm in a shit mood. I don't want to make things worse with Ashanti. Mind me coming to chill at your house for a while?”
“Not a problem, but I have some stuff to do. Think you'll be okay until 5 or so?” That was why Troy was glad he made friends easily. Other men, especially single ones, were always ready to drop everything and help their friend out. Friends forged in the gym were especially helpful.
“Probably. Text me your address.”
Sam agreed. “Bring that dog of yours. He can play with Marley.”
“Roman practically goes everywhere with me,” Troy said. Marley was another Rottweiler and German Shepherd mix, with a kind and quiet temperament. Sam brought the dog with him to the gym, which gave Troy the confidence to bring Roman.
“I figured. Marley was like that with me when I came home, too. Anyway, see you at 5.”
They hung up, and having plans that didn't involve sitting home with Ashanti, but being unable to talk to her, lightened his mood immediately. If he could spend time with other men, it wouldn't bother him so much that Ashanti hated his guts for absolutely no reason.
It wasn't like it was Troy's fault they were forced to get married. She should be mad at her grandmother, not him.
Obviously, it wasn't her fault, either. And deep down, he understood why she was so upset, or at least he thought he did. It was hard to go from independence to living with some strange man. Even worse when that man was a husband that was forced on you.
So he couldn't hold her anger against her, but he could still demand some damn respect. He wondered at her working so hard even when they had so much money. He hadn't had a job in a long time. Would I feel better if I had something to do, something to structure my time? It would be hard for him to overcome his fear of women, especially without his pills.
I have to fill my pills. Fuck.
He heard the shower turn on, telling him that Ashanti was awake. He didn't want to even chance a confrontation that might throw him back into a black mood, so he grabbed Roman's leash and headed out the door. A run would do him some good. He could clear his head, plus he could finally fill that prescription his psychiatrist had given him. He didn't want to have a breakdown.
He also decided, then, that he was through with putting up with shit from Ashanti. If she wasn't going to be nice, neither was he.
Chapter 9
Ashanti
Ashanti raised the garland of paper rings up a little higher, deepening the dip between one end and the other. “This look right?” She asked, looking over her shoulder.
Grandma Ina eyed the scene, then nodded. Taping the paper into place, Ashanti came down from the small stool and looked around the room.
“This place hasn't looked so festive since your tenth birthday party!” Grandma Rosa called from the kitchen. She was mixing drinks, all of them alcoholic. She was right. Ashanti had been worried that they wouldn't be able to decorate or do anything to prepare for Troy's birthday party, but then he went on a run.
She hoped he would forgive her after this. It was, admittedly, almost too much to ask of him. She had been a real bitch, building up a wall around her, and she wasn't sure why.
That's not true. I know why. It's because he reminds me of my bullies from high school. Tall, dark, handsome, a bad boy that treats me badly. Those were the boys I had crushes on, and those crushes were the gateway to truly making my life miserable.
She shook her head, chastising herself for dwelling in the past. Troy didn't do anything to her, not since the day they first met. She had to stop letting her emotions get the best of her, and soon. He was her husband, as strange as that was.
“You know, Ashanti, I think you two should start considering when you want to start trying for a child.” Grandma Ina said. She was sitting on the couch, looking out the window.
“What?” Ashanti replied, hoping against all hope that she misheard.
“Great grandbabies. Rosa and I were talking about them. We'd like to see at least one more child in our family before we die. Admittedly we're quite young, since we had our children young and they had theirs young, too. But we won't be around forever, dear, and part of having a child is having the wisdom of your elders passed to you.”
Ashanti sat down on the floor, ready to pout. “You could write a book.”
Rosa chuckled from the doorway into the kitchen. “That's not really how it works, my dear. You don't learn until you're truly in the trenches. Obviously you and Troy have to discuss it, but we hope you'll decide to have children soon.”
Ashanti wanted to be sick. Even if she was willing to be nicer to Troy, that didn't mean she wanted to have kids with him. So why did the thought make her heart thump against her chest and bring a tiny smile to her face?
“He'll be back soon, no doubt. Should we shut off the lights and hide?” Grandma Rosa asked. Ashanti's heart fluttered in her chest at the thought of seeing Troy, but she wasn't sure why.
“Sure, let's hide.” Ashanti helped Grandma Ina to the stairs, where she could hide in the small room beneath them. It was used as a closet, but never very full. It had a pile of blankets that Ina could sit on.
Grandma Rosa chose a spot in the kitchen, pressed up against the wall. She was giggling like a school girl. That woman always loved birthday parties, but had so few to plan since Ashanti was her only grandchild.
Ashanti looked outside, and sure enough, Troy was running down the road with Roman. Troy was talking to the dog through his labored breaths, though she couldn't hear what he was saying. Since they were coming closer, she hid behind her dad's chair and waited for the light to turn on.
Rosa's giggling quieted once she heard keys hit the doorhandle. “You're going to get so many treats today! Yes you are, boy!” The door opened slowly and Roman bounded in, followed by Troy. “It's dark as balls in here. Hang on, Roman, come back.”
The light flipped on. Ashanti took a deep breath, then jumped up. “Surprise! Happy birthday!” They all cried.
Troy stood stock still, staring at her for longer than he should. He just stood and stared.
“Troy?” She said, stepping away from the chair. Ina and Rosa stepped forward too.
His left eye t
witched, and then with a gasp he was on his hands and knees on the floor, crawling towards the stairs. “Oh fuck! Bill, come on, you're gonna make it. Jesus Christ that's you're hand.” He recoiled at nothing on the floor. Roman followed him as he made it to the stairs.
“Troy! What's wrong,” Ashanti asked, moving closer to him.
“Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck,” Troy answered, pretending to drag something heavy up the first step. “Jesus, Bill, you're bleeding everywhere.” He laughed. “You'll be fine, come on.”
The display carried all the way up the stairs, where it suddenly stopped. Troy stayed on the floor at the top of the stairs, and then sobbed, a deep, horrible sob.
“What did we do?” Ashanti asked, turning on Ina. “Did you know he would react like this?” Everything was going all wrong, and she didn't even have the option to freak out. She had to fix it. She had to fix the damage she had done to poor Troy.
This was her fault, and she knew it.
“No! Of course I didn't, I would never want to hurt my grandson. Go to him, Ashanti. Go to him now.” Grandma Ina took Grandma Rosa's hand, and they gave each other a worried look before turning the emotion on Ashanti.
How was she supposed to fix a major breakdown like that? She didn't even know what could have caused it. It was obvious it was something from his time in the army, but she wasn't a therapist. What was she supposed to do.
“Go be kind to him, Ashanti. Show him you care, but don't force him into anything,” Grandma Rosa said. “Your grandfather had episodes like that, when he came home from the war. Go be quiet with him. Listen to him. Do as he says, like a good wife should when her husband is hurting.”
Be a good wife? She was barely a wife at all, she realized, and didn't know what being a good wife even meant, but she would have to try.
Ashanti bounded up the stairs until she was at his side, but when she touched him he slapped her hand away. “Stay away from me,” the words were barely audible, but the message was clear. “Just stay away.” His voice was full of fear and hate and something else, something she couldn't place.
