by Christa Lynn
“No, you need to go find your men, your army. You need to go fight and take down these bastards that started this war. I’ll be fine. Do you have a map?”
“Yeah, I’ll get it. Stay here.”
“I’m not going anywhere,” I say as he walks out the back door. “Not yet, anyway.”
I sit down and rub the chill bumps off of my arm, the chill left by the feeling of his hands on me. Is it possible that he’s telling me the truth? I’ve been led to believe that men are superior and women are inferior, that we’re good for nothing but cooking, cleaning, and having babies. I know it was different before the war, because I remember my mom and dad, the love they had for each other. They were always holding hands, sitting close together and making eye contact. People knew they were so in love and they never hid that fact. I used to dream of finding a love like that, a connection and now … Now I’m not sure that love even exists in this world. Everyone is fighting for something else, taking what they can get and stopping at nothing to get that.
I come out of my daydream as Kane walks back in, unfolding a large map. He spreads it out over the table and stands tall, looking over it. “Arrow's Crossing, right?” he says, my home town rolling from his lips.
“Yes,” I say as I move to stand next to him.
“Here’s Arrow's Crossing—” he points to the map “—and here we are, about thirty miles away.”
“Only thirty miles?” I say, excited that we’re really that close.
“Calm down, we would have to go around Muskogee.” He points to another small town in between. “This is a heavily armed area, guards and martyrs throughout here, so we can’t go through there. We’re as good as dead if we try it. The medium-sized towns surrounding OKC are not the places to go. So here’s the way we go, and we can’t take the truck. We’d have to go on foot so we can hide if needed, so we’re looking at a few days to get there.”
“What about the horses?”
“Yeah, I suppose we can saddle up Lady and Corndog, they’d be up for it,” he says as he stands up. “But not today, the sun is going down, and we need plenty of daylight.”
“So tomorrow?” I ask, excited.
“No, tomorrow Abe and I, as well as the other guys, are going back into OKC to round up more men, bring them back, and train them. There are pockets of Mercs around and they help, but anyone that we find is skittish, or deadly, so we have to be careful. The army is growing with about ten thousand of us now, but the Heretics have so many more.”
“Wow, that many people survived the explosions? There aren’t that many people here.”
“There are more than you’ve seen. The surrounding properties are up and running and we have about six hundred here. We’re so far out in the country that the older homes are further apart, so you can’t see them. That’s just how I like it, but as you get closer into town, there are more.”
“But how can you tell who’s a Heretic and who’s a Merc?” I ask, knowing that people can be deceitful.
“The lower body Heretics are tired of the boss man’s shit, threatening to stray and move to the other side, with us. But a lot of them are scared, because their lead man won’t hesitate to have them killed, and most of them are too stubborn to die for that man. So they hide the fact that they’re traitors, which works for us. We just have to be careful that we haven’t picked up a martyr.”
“A martyr?”
“Yeah, that’s why the Heretics are hell bent on blowing more shit up, they can’t keep up and too many people are turning on them. So they’ve designated a group of men to sacrifice themselves in the name of the Heretics. Suicide bombers, if you will. And some of those martyrs are women, brainwashed to believe that they can help save the country if they die for it. If we can get to Philly we can possibly take down their rulers.”
“Philly?”
“Yeah, that’s where ‘home base’ is. DC was completely extinguished in the initial attacks, so they set up shop in Philly. But if I have anything to do or say, I’ll burn Philly to the ground, like they’ve done so many other places. The Heretics won the battle, and many battles thereafter, but they will not win the war.”
“How can you be sure?”
“I can’t be sure, but I can try. And I have no problems dying while I try. I’ll get this country back if it’s the last thing I do. But not yet, we need to be bigger and stronger. You’ll stay here with Emma tomorrow, then later in the week we’ll take you home. Deal?”
“Deal,” I say as he quickly kisses me. This time I don’t back away, but he doesn’t go any further. He just looks me deep in the eyes.
“But you’ve got to trust me, in more ways than one. Can you do that?” he asks.
“I’ll try, but I can’t promise anything.”
“I never asked for promises, Jo. Trying is good; it’s a start. It’s all any of us can do.”
I nod as I scan the map, my memories flashing back to the way this state used to look, before the destruction and famine, and for the first time since I was thirteen, I have hope. Hope to see my family again, hope for the country, and hope for me.
Kane
I know I need to go to OKC tomorrow, but I’m not sure I can trust Jo to stick around. After her little escape attempt today, I fear she will grab one of the horses and take off by herself. I need to do something to prove to her that she can trust me and do what I say. I know I had an effect on her when I kissed her, and then stopped when she asked me to. That was my point, as that never happened in Brampton, and now she trusts no one. I can’t blame her, though; I don’t trust many people, either. All I can hope for is gaining that trust and cross my fingers she sticks around. I know she wants to find her mom and brother, but I can’t have her out roaming this land without protection. She crosses the wrong person and she’s either back into slavery, or dead. I won’t let that happen, but I can only protect her if she stays put.
This woman … I don’t know why she has such a grip on me. Maybe it’s her strength, or maybe it’s her vulnerability; a trait she doesn’t show much, but I know deep inside she’s scared. She’d have to be. She might have been held a virtual prisoner for years, but she had a roof over her head and her basic needs were met. I want to make sure she has more than that, but I also have to keep my head straight, and she has a tendency to make my head spin.
I watch her face as she stares at the map, her delicate finger tracing the red lines; lines that used to represent the roads in and out of the major cities. Her finger stops on the town of Arrow's Crossing, and on the map it looks so close. I know she thinks going home is going to be easy, but, in fact, it will not be. Though I’m anxious to see what still remains in that shelter she told me about. “Why did your dad have this shelter?” I ask.
“What?” She looks up at me quickly before dropping her gaze back to the map. “Oh, I don’t know. I didn’t know about it until the night the war started. It was hidden under leaves and brush, and off the beaten path away from the corn rows.
“Corn?”
“Yeah, it was a farm. Lots of corn, potatoes, and other vegetables. We also had cattle, sold milk and eggs to the local stores. We had it all, so Mama always canned vegetables and had the little room stocked to the ceiling. Bottled water and other supplies. We could have survived for months, but we were found, and I was drugged and taken, woke up a long way from home, confused and scared.”
“I can imagine, how old were you?”
“Thirteen,” she says, still staring at the map not even connecting that she was telling me her story. Suddenly, her eyes light up. “Look at this,” she says as her fingers trace along the Canadian River. “What if we take a boat up the Canadian River to the Arkansas River, then follow the river up past Muskogee?”
I watch her fingers trace the path she’s suggesting, but it’s not a path I’ve taken yet. “It’s untraveled territory for me, so I have no idea what or who is along that river, but I expect that there are Heretics all along the river, it might be best to stay back from the r
iver. If they’re smart, and they are, they’re using the river as their power source.”
“Hmm, okay. Let me keep looking.”
“Relax, Jo. Let me take care of the travel plans. I have something I want you to do with Emma while I’m gone.”
“You act like you’re going to be gone for days,” she says.
“I will be, we’re going on foot this time, toward Norman. It could take two days to get there on foot, I expect I’ll be gone a week.”
“A week? I have to wait a week?”
“Jo, you’ve waited thirteen years to go home. Another week won’t make a difference.”
I know that’s not what she wanted to hear, but I need her here to work with Emma. The discontent in her eyes is noticeable. “I want you to work with Emma in the shooting range. She’s been skittish of any loud noises, and I think she’ll be more comfortable with you. I’ve tried to teach her how to shoot, but she freaks out at the sound.”
“I’m not sure it’s the sound, Kane. But okay, I’ll work with her, see if I can get her used to carrying.”
“Thanks, and I believe some vegetables in the garden are ready to be canned, or dried. So they’ll be plenty to do while I’m gone.”
“You act like we’ll be alone here,” she says.
“No way, there are hundreds of men here, you just can’t see them. There’s no way anyone is getting onto this property without my men knowing. They’re trained to shoot first and ask questions later, so no escape attempts,” I tell her, knowing my men wouldn’t shoot her, but then again, if they can’t see who it is, they’ll fire.
“I won’t, I wouldn’t leave Emma here. I’ll see what I can do with her.”
I smirk, remembering the intimate moment they were sharing when Abe and I came back into the kitchen. If they can comfort each other, I’m all for that, but she’ll be in my bed before long so we can work on those trust issues.
The sun is setting and I’m on guard tonight, so I need to get ready. “You can stare at this map all night, princess, but I’ve got guard duty until midnight, then I’ll sleep before Abe, Dale, and I head out before the sun comes up.”
“Okay,” she says, still staring at the map, but she looks up when Emma walks into the kitchen.
“What are you guys looking at?” she asks as she stands next to Jo.
“A map. We’re going to see if we can find my old home and see if my mama is there, or my brother,” she says, a bit of excitement in her voice. It’s good to see her so excited, but I know she’s headed for a letdown. After thirteen years, I seriously doubt any of her family is left, and if they are, they aren’t at the farm. But I’m not going to burst her bubble; that’ll come later once we get to her home, if we get there.
“You’re lucky to still have family, Jo,” Emma says quietly as she walks to the cabinet to find something to eat.
“Emma, we are your family now. You have us,” Jo says, walking behind Emma and wrapping her arms around her waist.
“But you have—”
“Hush, Emma, I don’t know that I have anything. But I have to find out for sure. I may be just as alone as the rest of us, but if I don’t try to find out, I’ll never be able to move forward. Not knowing if they made it makes me crazy. I kept waiting for Hank to rescue me from the clinic, but he never came. Hank and I were close, so I know he tried,” she says as her voice fades off.
“Ladies, I’m out. We’ll be leaving at the ass crack of dawn, and Luke’s crew is on guard while we’re gone. Don’t try anything stupid,” I say as I kiss Jo on the cheek and head outside. I glance back, and Emma has this look on her face—a horrified look. I leave the door cracked and stand where I can hear them.
“You let him kiss you?” Emma asks Jo.
“Emma, one thing we’re going to work on is that not all men are bad. I know you’ve gone through a horrible experience—”
“But you did too, Jo, how are you so comfortable with him touching you?”
“It’s called trust, Emma. Do I trust him fully? Of course not, all of this is too new. But I do know he’s one of the good guys, and they may be few and far between. Look, I remember how my parents were before this bullshit war started, and one day I want that. I’m not even sure that still exists, but once this crazy war is over …”
“You ready, Kane?” Abe smacks me on the shoulder, smirking at me. “Eavesdropping, man?” he asks as he reaches for the doorknob, pulling it completely closed.
“You caught me.” I laugh as I follow him down to the arms room. “Anything to report?”
“Not much, just some strange items floating down the river.”
“What do you mean?” I ask, cocking my eyebrow at him.
“I found an arm lying on the river bank.”
“Again?”
“Yeah, severed above the elbow. It’s a female’s arm too,” he says.
“Fuck, and we’re leaving Emma and Jo while we go into OKC.” I grunt, running my fingers through my hair. “How long had it been in the water? Can you tell?”
“Not long, a few fish bites into the skin, but it was primarily intact.”
“That means it came from not far from here. And that the Heretics are at it again, they must know we’re down here. I need to get the women out of here, sooner rather than later. If they attack while we’re gone, I’m not sure Luke’s crew can handle it. He’s got too many men that are still wet behind the ears.”
“You think he’s got one that turned?”
“It’s possible. Who’s the newest guy?”
“Lance, I think. Where did he find him?”
“Somewhere on the outskirts of OKC, ‘bout three weeks ago.”
“Bring him with us, I don’t want him anywhere near the girls. I want to see what he’s got; if he’s afraid to kill a Heretic, because if he pauses, we’ll know.”
“Got it, I’ll go hunt down Luke and let him know.”
“Tell Luke to come see me as well, I’ll be in the arms room preparing for the trek.”
“Got it, and, Kane?”
“Yeah?” I ask turning back to him.
“I know you’ve got a thing for that Jo girl, but watch your back, man.”
“Why is that?”
“She’s been through some shit, and she’s not a crybaby like Emma is. Jo won’t hesitate to fight back if you fuck with her.”
“I know, that’s what I like about her.”
“Well, just don’t let your dick do all the thinking.” I cock my eyes at him.
“I can’t control what my dick thinks about, Abe. Even you know that.” I wink and turn away, the dry leaves crunching under my feet. It’s still warm, but fall is around the corner and it gets cold quick. Once the snow begins falling, we have to stay put. Frostbite and hypothermia are no joke, and I won’t lose any men. I can’t afford to lose anyone. So we only have a few weeks before we have to start preparing the compound for the cold, and I still need to get Jo back home so she can finally move forward.
The door slams behind me as I walk into the arms room and scan the back wall. I’m only taking four men with me this time, and since I don’t trust Lance, I need to make sure he has lower fire power than the rest of us, we need to be able to take him down if he turns.
“You wanted to see me?” Luke asks as he walks into the arms room.
“Tell me what you know about Lance,” I say I as grab an AK off the rack.
“Found him along the old I-40, ‘cross the bridge over the Arkansas river. Why?”
“Did he come willingly? Did he act suspicious?”
Luke scratches his head. “Where’s this conversation going?”
“Abe found a woman’s arm flowing down the Canadian, looked freshly severed.”
“Why do you think Lance had something to do with that?”
“He’s the newest combatant here, and we don’t know a lot about him. Not saying he’s a traitor, but let’s watch him. I’m taking him with me to OKC, I wanna see what he’s got. And if he is a Heretic, I don’
t want him here where the girls are so close.”
“Well, if you’d stop bringing women here …”
“What did you say?”
“I mean, this compound is no place for a woman, especially ones with issues.”
“Don’t be an ass, Luke, or I’ll turn you out with a quickness.”
“I don’t mean that, Kane. What I mean is they’re slowing us down. If we’re going to overtake the Heretics, we need strong men. Not weak girls pulling us back.”
“You do realize without Emma here you would be starving, right?”
“We can cook,” he says.
“Oh, yeah, okay. Then give me your weapons and your key to this room, you can be the fucking cook now.” I hold my hand out.
“Fine, I’ll keep an eye on Lance.”
“No, I’ll keep an eye on him, you’ve got the rest of your men to look after. I trust you, Luke, don’t break that trust. I won’t hesitate to send you packing, you got that?”
“Yeah, I got it. When are you headed out?”
“Dawn. Make sure Lance is ready, eh?”
“I will,” he says as he leaves.
“And, Luke? Don’t fuck around on this. If anything looks out of place with that guy, or any of your men, you let me know. I’ll keep you out of it, but I’ll take him out. We’re too close to moving north that I don’t need setbacks, you got it?”
“Got it.”
“And I don’t want any trouble while I’m gone. Those women are to be protected, but not messed with. Something goes awry, you get them downstream and out of here.”
“I know the plan, Kane. You don’t have to keep reminding me.”
His smart ass attitude is getting on my nerves. It’s one trait about him I like, but he’s defiant and that needs to stop, so I get in his face, my finger on the trigger of the AK.
“Your attitude needs to change, boy; save the sarcasm for the field.”
“Yes, sir,” he says as he turns, a smirk curling up on his lips.
I gather the firearms and ammo, stuffing them into an oversized backpack, and secure the fasteners. I hoist it on my back as Abe walks in.
