by Lauren Wood
“I’m sorry,” I offered gently. “I didn’t mean to get either of us all riled up. I just don’t want to do anything to mess this up. Who knows how much longer my grandfather has left, and I don’t want to disappoint him. And my brothers! The way they looked at me tonight. It’s like they were proud of me for the first time.”
I kept my shoulder turned to her, feeling like a fool for admitting all of it out loud. A heavy silence fell, and I wondered if this incident in itself was enough to screw up this whole arrangement.
Suddenly, I felt a weight spreading across my lap. Maya was climbing on top of me, straddling my waist. She pinned down my arms with her hands and leaned into my ear, speaking in such a deep, sexy rumble that it was torture in itself.
“Listen, Jesse Halstead. I’m not some dumb, young model who’s trying to trick you into settling down. You’re paying me, remember? I don’t want a real marriage any more than you do. I’m not a child, and I don’t need you to protect me. I’m a grown woman, and I know what I want.”
I was in complete surrender to her. “What do you want?”
“You,” she purred before crashing her lips back to mine.
Once again, we found ourselves in the backseat of the car, furiously making out as it drove to her house. That’s when it occurred to me that she had never seen where I lived. I hated to break my lips away from hers, and I didn’t even know why it mattered where we went except that I was dying to take that dress off of her, and my place was fifteen minutes closer. My fingers fumbled for the switch on the door to roll down the barrier between the driver and us.
“Change of plans. We’re going back to my place,” I called out as clearly as I could in between the sweeps of Maya’s tongue.
“We are?” she asked against my lips.
I didn’t answer. My mind was quickly lost in the fog of my desire for her body, and I forgot what her question was. All of my doubts and worries faded. All that existed was her body and everything that stood between me and all that I wanted to do to her.
I had my memories of last time to fuel me. The red blush of her chest as she writhed in the sheets. The sounds she made. All of which I was getting little samples of on the way. It was enough to make me wonder if I should have just asked for us to go to the nearest hotel. I had been fine with her all night long, but the minute we started, we couldn’t stop. I couldn’t wait another second to take her again.
14
Maya
I couldn’t contain myself as the car raced to Jesse’s place. The driver seemed just as eager as we were to get there. Maybe because if we went any further, it’d be his job to clean up the backseat. I wondered if that kind of thing had happened before in this car with some other random woman. Jesse’s playboy nature was becoming more evident, the more I learned about him.
At that moment, though, I didn’t care. I meant what I said to him. I was a big girl, and I knew what I wanted. Besides, judging by the look in Jesse’s eyes and the urgent sounds escaping his lips, he wasn’t thinking of anyone else right then. So, why should I?
As the heat between us reached unbearable proportions, I decided that I had to do something to satisfy us both until we reached our destination. I reached for his zipper and snaked my grip in around his strained erection. I wrapped my hand around him tighter and began working it up and down until his fingers wrapped around my wrist, forcing me to stop. He couldn’t speak, but his eyes were begging for me to stop until we were in the privacy of his home.
I left him alone in that way but quickly threw myself back on top of his body, ravaging his mouth with mine. His fingers kneaded into me, clawing into the clothes we both wished weren’t there. He was testing the limits, as well, as he started lifting my dress, kissing his way up to my nipples. He took them into his mouth, biting and flicking them with his tongue. I leaned in for more, not wanting him to stop. The sensation was so intense, shooting straight between my legs. I swore he could almost make me come by doing that alone.
Suddenly, we realized the car wasn’t moving anymore. The driver wasn’t even in the front seat. He had vanished. He bolted the moment the car parked, which made us both burst into laughter as we put ourselves back together enough to get inside.
I don’t remember him telling me where the bedroom was. Maybe he guided me there as we continued making out, or maybe my body just found it instinctively. All I know is, I was soon pushing his legs back against the bed, yanking his pants off of him to free his pounding shaft. I was eager to slide it between my lips and hear more of the delicious noises I was so good at drawing out of him.
He only let me go for so long before he was whipping me around to the bed, delivering me to the softness of his expensive sheets. He followed quickly behind, climbing on top of me, but I was feeling dominant. I was tired of him treating me like some fragile thing that could be broken. I needed him to know who he was messing with.
I flipped us both over, swinging my leg around him. I kept my eyes locked on his as I took hold of him and teased him along my folds. He was hot and throbbing in my hand, and as much as I wanted to keep torturing him, I couldn’t wait to have him inside of me. I eased myself over the tip enough to free my hand and braced myself against his chest. I slid him inside of me slowly before pushing all the way down, letting him go as deep as he possibly could. His hands instantly dug into my hips, almost as if to stop me, or maybe it was to beg for more.
I had wanted to go slow for a long time, just to see how long we could stand it, but a frenzy of need took over, setting me into a steady, quicked rhythm. He matched my impatience, pumping his hips up to meet my thrusting body, pushing himself even deeper inside of me each time I rocked down on him. With one hand wrapped around my waist, his other hand reached up to grasp onto my hair. He pulled just enough to make it hurt, but in a good way. I relished in the roughness of it and went even faster to prove it. With another tug of my hair, he pulled my head back and sat up to kiss along my exposed and extended neck.
I was overcome with the urge to prove more than how good he felt. I wanted to prove that I could do this to him but also to myself. I didn’t know why we kept ending up together like this, but it didn’t change what I wanted. I didn’t want to be anyone’s wife or even their girlfriend. I wanted my freedom just as much as he wanted his. That’s what this was supposed to be about—protecting our freedom, not putting ourselves at risk of losing it.
My desperation to hold onto that surged through me as I rocked harder and faster, feeling him tighten and grow even harder against my wet, throbbing muscles that stretched around him. He was so deep inside of me that it hit hard against my core with a sensation that would usually hurt, but at that moment, it was anything but painful.
I rolled my head back, running my hands through my hair and down my body, squeezing my breasts as he watched. He looked tense and like he was barely holding on to keep from exploding right then and there. His hands followed mine, pressing into my skin. He found one of my hands with his and gripped it, leading it down to the folds bobbing above his skin.
He watched as I continued riding him, rubbing myself in circles as he slid a tongue across his bottom lip and delighted in the sight. The added pleasure pushed me close to the edge and made me lose control. I couldn’t keep moving over him and touching myself at the same time, no matter how desperately I wanted the feeling of it. He could sense my frustration and used his own fingers to help me.
As he stroked me, his whole body tightened to push even deeper inside of me. Something primal took hold of me, stealing away any sense of reality I had left. There was nothing left in the universe but his body and mine and the way we could make each other feel.
Groaning, broken breaths leaked from his lips as his body seized with mine to follow. We were right on the cusp, but before I could fall the rest of the way, the room spun around. He grabbed me and rolled me onto my back, not wasting a second before he moved over me and slid back inside.
He draped one of my legs over his shoulder a
nd angled himself into me with an exquisite force that took me right back to where I had been seconds ago. My nails dug into his back, dragging up to his shoulders as strings of unfamiliar words spilled from my lips. More. I was begging him for more, begging him not to stop.
The pleasure was building and building until all at once, the intense wave of release and rapture crashed over me. It didn’t come and go the way it usually would. It swelled and lingered and somehow grew even more before finally starting to fade. In those moments, when it was at its height, it seemed like time was suspended. I wondered if—and maybe even hoped that—it would last forever because it felt so damn good.
As he lowered over me, shuddering to recover, we both struggled to regulate our breathing among lingering moans of desire. He took in a sharp breath as his hands traveled across my skin, not ready to let go of the closeness. His fingers trailed up my ribs, over my shoulder, to the tip of my arm, which was propped over my head. His face nudged towards me, and I could feel his eyes watching me in the darkness.
Everything felt suddenly heavy. Something about his gaze was too intense. It made me nervous. I tried to think of something to say to break the silence, but my brain felt like mush. All I could do was close my eyes and drift off to sleep.
15
Jesse
Something was different when I woke up the next morning with Maya tangled in the sheets next to me, draped across my chest. I wanted a moment to myself to figure out what it was, but her eyes opened soon after mine did. She looked up at me then around the room, slowly piecing together where she was and what had happened.
“Oops.” She laughed suddenly. “We did it again.”
I couldn’t help but laugh, too. It seemed like we should put some distance between us, but the warmth of her skin against mine felt too good to ruin. I wrapped my arm around her as she nuzzled against me.
We stayed like that for a long time, awkwardly staring at the ceiling, before she finally sat up and stretched her arms high above her head. The sheets fell down, exposing her perfect breasts, perked in the sunlight streaming in through the window. I felt a renewed desire in me stir, but I wouldn’t let myself act on it. Drunken accidents were one thing. Giving into it during the sober light of day was another. It felt like crossing a dangerous line, and we were already pushing our luck.
“Breakfast?” I proposed, wondering if she also secretly wished I would throw her back down to the bed and take her again.
She didn’t answer at first and stopped to regather the sheets to cover herself. “Yeah, I guess so.” We both reluctantly climbed out of bed. She found her dress on the floor and held it up with her finger looped through one of the thin straps. “But, I’m not going anywhere in this. Not at this time of day.”
“I guess there are a lot of things that are only appropriate for late nights,” I quipped.
“Huh?” She spun her head around, staring at me in confusion.
“Nothing. Don’t worry about it. We don’t have to go anywhere.”
I picked up my phone to call and order us breakfast while Maya found her phone, as well. As I placed my usual breakfast order, I watched her put her phone to her ear and listen to a message.
“The agency called me yesterday,” she said once we had both completed our calls. “They left a voicemail confirming the appointment next week. It’s time to sign the contract.”
I searched her face for any signs of doubt or a change of heart. “How do you feel about it?”
She shrugged and stared at the phone in her hands. “Fine. How do you feel about it?”
“Fine,” I agreed.
It felt like there was something more I should say. Both of us seemed to have a lot on our minds. It was quiet, awkward, and tense. I slipped into some comfortable clothes while she sat on the edge of the bed, still clutching the sheets to her body.
“I’m sure I have something you could throw on,” I offered, turning to dig around in my closet. I found a t-shirt and a pair of boxers and tossed them her way.
“Perfect. Thanks.” She smiled, balling the items up in her hands.
I retreated to the bathroom to gather my thoughts. It was good that we were signing the contract soon, I thought. Maybe it would make us more careful. Right now, there was still an unspoken window of escape, even if telling my family everything was off would be a nightmare. We weren’t legally bound yet.
After brushing my teeth and combing my hair, I walked out to find Maya looking around my penthouse suite. I took in the sight of her in my baggy clothes and wondered how it was that she looked just as gorgeous, if not more so, wearing my old things as she did in that skimpy dress from last night.
She caught me staring and blushed a little. Before I could say anything stupid, there was a knock on the door. I answered it to get our breakfast, which we settled back into bed to eat.
Whatever weirdness lingered between us quickly faded as we ate. It was as if we were back in the bar again, shooting stories and jokes back and forth, laughing so hard it felt like our sides were splitting open. This is what it was like to sleep with a friend—easy flowing conversation and laughter one minute and uncontrollable, ravenous urges that we couldn’t resist the next. Maybe it was normal.
But Maya seemed to have something different on her mind. “I guess this is all pretty weird, huh?”
“A fake marriage? Yeah, I guess so. Especially when we keep…” I knew it was better not to finish that sentence. “But you said you feel fine about everything? Still?”
“Sure,” she shrugged again.
It was like we were playing a game of chicken. We both knew something needed to be said, but we didn’t quite know what it was. Even if we could gather our thoughts into words, she wasn’t going to spit any of it out unless I did first. I was waiting for her to say it first, too. But what was it? That this was a horrible idea? That we were flirting with disaster? Or was it something else entirely?
“Well, good,” I blurted with decisiveness. “Because we have a lot to do.”
“We do?” she asked as she took a bite of eggs.
“Yeah. I mean, we have a whole wedding to plan.”
“Oh. Oh!” Her brow furrowed as if this was news to her. “I guess I hadn’t…I didn’t…I didn’t really think about the wedding itself. I thought more about what it would be like, going to your family dinners and things like we did last night. A wedding, though.”
“I guess we could say we eloped, but it’d probably make my grandfather a lot happier if he could see wedding photos.”
She nodded, mulling it over. “Have you thought about what happens later?” she said slowly. “I mean after he’s gone and the contract is up. Do we keep doing this? Or get divorced?”
My brain froze for a moment. I probably hadn’t thought it over as carefully as I should have. I was upset about everything going on and how much our family had been changing. I was just reacting and moving from one tough decision to the next, scrambling to make it look like I had my shit together.
“I guess I just thought we’d figure it out as we went,” I replied finally.
“A wedding,” she sighed. “It makes it feel so much more real.”
“Didn’t you ever dream of your wedding day as a little girl?”
“No, not me.” She smiled. “I dreamed of traveling around the world and going on adventures. I never really saw myself with anyone else. I’ve always been a loner. I’ve done all that. I’ve traveled around the country, at least.”
“Well, do you have a passport?”
“Of course.”
“Pick a place. Everyone will expect us to go on a honeymoon. Pick anywhere in the world you want to go, and we’ll go.”
I stated it plainly. It was no big deal for any one of us Halsteads to hop on a plane at a minute’s notice and jet-set off to wherever we wanted. I could tell from the look in Maya’s eyes that such a thing was mind-boggling to her, though.
“Are you serious?” She lit up with excitement, shoving her plate fr
om her lap.
“Yeah, totally. I’m always down for a vacation.”
She lunged forward and threw her arms around my neck, giggling with anticipation. When she pulled back, our eyes met, tempting us to kiss. It had almost happened so naturally, her lips pressing against mine. We straightened and moved apart, putting several safe inches between us.
As we went back to eating, Maya started naming off a list of places we could consider for our fake honeymoon. I could tell it was a list she had been working on in her head for a while. She probably just didn’t expect it to come in handy under such unusual circumstances. She talked, and I listened, but my mind wandered.
If we were legally married and away in some foreign country on something we claimed as a honeymoon, and something like last night happened again, maybe even several times, just how fake was all of this?
16
Maya
Missy Balay had a nasally voice and talked a million miles a minute, which only added to the head-spinning stress as she spouted off the endless list of things to do in preparation for the wedding. I thought the whole point of hiring a wedding planner was so that I would have less to do, but she still wanted my final say on every last detail. It was all to ensure that I had the “wedding of my dreams,” and I just didn’t have the heart to tell her that this wasn’t a dream at all. It was a very strict, formal contract and exchange of funds. A contract that Jesse and I were set to sign later that afternoon.
“Have you given any thought to the theme suggestions I gave you?” she asked from across the cafe table as her long acrylic nails flipped through a massive binder of pictures, contacts, and lists.
“Yes, of course,” I shot back when truthfully, I hadn’t thought about it again until just now.
