by Rye Brewer
“We did,” he continued with a smile. “And the week after, and the week after that. On and on. Then it became twice a week, then three times. It was harder and harder to slip away, especially since my father insisted on handing responsibility over to me and began to demand more of my time. But I found a way. Funny how love makes it possible to find a way.”
He looked down at me.
I hadn’t moved a muscle since he started talking about her.
“I loved her. You have to believe that. I really did love her. And if things were different, I would have married her. It was all I wanted. But it wasn’t meant to be.”
“Why is that?”
“Oh, Anissa. You’re not a child.” He walked away, keeping his back to me as he searched through his books. “You know how the world works, how there’s no room for a love like ours.” He glanced back at me with a smirk. “I know your clan deserted you because of her relationship with me.”
“You knew all along?”
“She could hide nothing from me. Even when it was forbidden for us to see each other again, we still found a way to write to one another. Her letters are my most treasured possessions.”
The breath caught in my throat as I wondered if that was what he searched for. My mother’s letters. I imagined holding them, touching the pages that she’d once touched.
“And still, you did nothing to help us.”
Gregor scoffed. “You don’t understand.” He came back, holding out a single photograph.
My heart sank, as I’d hoped for more, but what I saw in that single picture was enough.
“In case you still doubt me,” he murmured, sitting back down.
I studied the photo, but I didn’t look at him. I couldn’t. Not when I saw her. She looked just the way I remembered, with the same thick, wild hair and bright eyes. Her smile was wide, joyful. And she was leaning against Gregor.
Both of them were in the human clothes of the time—those were the days in which men wore suits and women wore dresses, even when having a relaxing day outside—and they sat together in a park. I wondered who’d taken the picture. Maybe a random passerby. I could imagine them asking a stranger to get a picture of them, something to help them remember the day. And I could imagine any stranger being enchanted by the two lovers. They might have wondered what was so special about the couple, why they couldn’t take their eyes off the pair in the park. Humans tended to react that way when they came into contact with us.
“It wasn’t long after that photo was taken that we were discovered. My brother, Alex. He was jealous of our father’s attention to me, and he’d noticed the way I tended to sneak away when I thought I’d go unnoticed. So he followed me. I should have sensed him, but I was too busy looking forward to seeing her. By the time I noticed him in the park, standing there by a fountain, it was too late. He got back before I did and told my secret to our father and his advisors.”
Gregor sighed deeply, hanging his head. He was silent for a long time. I found myself believing him—not just because I saw the picture, but because of his sorrow. It was obvious. I could almost feel it in the air. I almost felt as though I were intruding on a personal moment and should go, then told myself how silly it was to feel that way.
“My father gave me a choice. I’ll never forget it. We were in his chambers, where he’d called me, and he laid it all out: I was never to see her again, and never to venture into the human world. He told me the vampires had found out about us, too, thanks to communication my brother sent to the Carver clan. I know your mother went through her own trials as a result. They weren’t easy on her. If we were to remain on good relations, I had to promise to never, ever see her again. We could never be together. We couldn’t even meet briefly. Nothing. If I refused, it could mean all-out war. The vampires were already fighting among themselves—the first stirrings of what would become the Great War, as it turned out—and they wanted no part of a fight with the fae on top of everything else. Of course, Father wanted no part of a fight, either. We might have magic, but the vampire clans are very powerful.”
He spread his hands. “What could I do? There was no choice in the matter, not when the fate of my kind was at stake. The vampires could and would gladly wipe us out for daring to unite with one of their own. I had more than myself to think about. Of course, at the time, I didn’t know you existed.”
His gaze softened. “I wasn’t there when you were born, though I wanted to be. I wanted to very much. I wanted to be there throughout your life—but I had the rest of the fae to think about, and I couldn’t risk them. I was and am their ruler. I must always keep their welfare in mind.”
I nodded, understanding. I didn’t like it, but I understood. “Still, you kept up with me. Watched me.”
“Of course. Once I became ruler, I could come and go as I pleased. I still had to take precautions. I couldn’t let the humans see me, and especially not the vampires. We had an agreement, you see. It would be dangerous if the pact were broken.”
“I had no idea.”
“That’s by design, naturally. You were never to know. Then, it was clear you were near—and you were in danger. My advisors felt your presence. It was by chance that you were so close to the portal. I sent a group of them through to rescue you. As it turns out, they were only a moment or two from being too late to save you.”
“I’m glad you didn’t deliberate over whether to come for me,” I said with a shaky laugh.
“So am I.” We looked at each other for a long time. My father. I didn’t know how to feel about it. I understood why my mother had lied about him—she didn’t have a choice, just like he didn’t have a choice but to stay away. The thought that they could have started another war was startling.
“Have you been happy?” he asked. “I mean, with your clan?”
“You know I wasn’t happy,” I murmured, shaking my head.
“I’m sorry. It was through no fault of your own.” He jumped to his feet, pacing. “The silly old prejudices. Making a child pay for what their parents did. Punishing you for the love your mother and I had for each other. Ridiculous. You don’t know how many times I wanted to save you from that. The only way to interfere in your life was to protect you from harm, which we did.”
“I’m glad you could at least do that,” I said with a little laugh. I felt like I might be going insane just thinking about what a close call I’d had.
“It’s all over now. You’re safe, and with your own kind. Finally, back where you belong.” He ran a kind, gentle hand over the top of my head, yet I didn’t feel reassured. If anything, I felt more uneasy than ever. His words. My own kind.
He didn’t think I’d stay there forever, did he?
Chapter 25
Anissa
It took time for my strength to come back. By the following morning, after feeding several times, I felt considerably better. I wasn’t completely myself, but I could think clearly and roam the treehouses which housed my father’s kingdom.
There were so many of them. It was like the Carver mansion, only instead of floor after floor full of clusters of rooms devoted to each subsection of the clan, each subsection was housed in a tree of its own. Each series of carved-out rooms was connected by numerous strung-up bridges made of vines and wooden planks. Some of the fae even swung from tree to tree using vine ropes, though it seemed like only the younger and more vital creatures dared it. It was a long fall to the surface, magic or no.
The entire world was like something out of a human fairytale. Fireflies hung here and there throughout the air, mixing with the stars until it was hard to tell which was which. Crystal globes suspended from branches added more light, creating a sort of glowing cloud. I understood why candle light wasn’t an option—one little accident might have created a catastrophe in a kingdom created of wood. There was only so much fae magic could do. It couldn’t supersede all natural law.
I could have explored for days, weeks, and never seen it all. Something about going from tree to
tree, about being so close to nature, appealed to me. It was where I was meant to be. My father was right about that. My fae blood cried out joyfully at finally being where it belonged.
But it wasn’t my home. It never would be. Home wasn’t just a place. It was where the people you cared for were. Sara. Jonah. They weren’t there. I needed them, I missed them. I couldn’t make a home somewhere else and never see them again. It wouldn’t be life without them.
Still, when I felt the expectant gazes of those around me—Gregor’s advisors, including Felicity, the servants, the common fae folk who flitted here and there—I knew they looked to me for leadership, to one day take the torch passed on by my father.
I’d asked why the light here didn’t bother me. It was special light, I was told. Not like regular sunlight. I also asked why it was that I had at a partial immunity to the sun, not burning like my sister did.
Fae blood, he’d explained.
I asked him why he’d never married and sired more children to ensure his family’s rule.
“I never loved again, not after I had to say goodbye to your mother.” He looked miserable. “Besides, I knew you were out there. I had nothing to worry about.”
My stomach turned. Me. He expected me to take over for him when the time came. It was all too much to consider at once. Living among the fae, ruling them, having them look to me the way they looked to him for leadership. I was young. The thought would have overwhelmed me even if I’d been trained for rule since birth. Considering that I’d grown up like any other vampire, it was almost crippling to think of myself as their ruler. I didn’t want to be. I just wanted to be normal, like anybody else. I didn’t ask to be special.
“Nobody asks to be special,” Gregor told me as we stood on the balcony outside his chambers. A fresh breeze stirred the air, moving the wispy clouds through the blue sky.
I heard happy laughter from the trees around us, saw small white-headed creatures moving along the bridges. The whole place was alive with activity. It was full of light, and life. I did love being there, but my heart was too full of what I knew I needed to do to enjoy it.
“Don’t I get a choice?” I asked, looking up at him.
He shook his head, jaw clenched. The more time I spent with him, the more similarity I saw between the two of us. We had the same eyes, the same jawline, the same nose. The same stubbornness, for sure.
“No, there’s no choice. Not when you’re born to a certain life.”
“But this isn’t what I was born to do. It’s not what I was raised or trained to do. I can’t cut myself off from the rest of my life just because of my blood.”
“That’s exactly what you have to do.” He looked down at me, eyes hard and stern. “Your blood dictates who you are. None of us are above it. None of us has a choice when we’re born to a certain destiny.”
I couldn’t believe that. It went against everything I felt. I turned and went back inside, hurrying alone to the makeshift chambers which Felicity had prepared. They were comfortable and beautiful, but they weren’t mine. Just because they were called mine didn’t mean I had any attachment to them, just like I had no attachment to the shadow world in which the fae resided.
I paced the floor until I was sure I’d leave a groove in the wood. He wanted me to stay. They all did. They thought that just because they’d saved me from certain death, it meant I would stay forever. If I didn’t know better, I would have thought they were happy that I’d almost died. It had meant the chance to bring me “home” with them.
Every minute that passed was another minute in which I didn’t know what happened to Gage. I couldn’t rest easy without knowing for sure that he was safe. I didn’t believe he was, even if the fae had freed him. After all, there was a second vampire with him. Who was it? What had they done to him? And why wouldn’t anyone tell me the specifics of where they’d found him?
It was clear they were hiding something, probably to keep me from leaving. They didn’t understand that not knowing made me want to leave more than ever. They didn’t know me at all.
I had to get away.
Gregor’s voice rang in my head. This is where you belong. You can be among your kind. You were born to rule. They were only words. It didn’t matter what he said or how much he believed it. I didn’t believe it. It wasn’t my destiny to rule the fae. I was in control of my destiny, not him, not my blood.
My blood. The blood that would always attract those who were greedy enough to do whatever it took to possess magic. Just because Malory was no longer a threat didn’t mean there were hundreds just like her, witches and other creatures desperate to feed on me. With the fae, in their shadow realm, I had nothing to fear. If I went back to the human world to rejoin Sara, I’d be in danger at every turn.
It was a chance I’d have to take. I couldn’t abandon her, and I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t know what happened to Gage.
Chapter 26
Jonah
“What do you mean, you can’t find her? She can’t have just disappeared!”
I glared at Sledge, one of my most trusted men. At least, he was at one time. I’d always been able to trust him, until now. Because he’d always come through for me. Not this time.
“I don’t know what to say. There’s eight of us looking for her. We’ve been all over the city. She vanished into thin air.”
“Impossible.” My fangs were burning to erupt. I wanted to break his neck, throw something through the window, anything to vent the frustration coursing through me. “I refuse to believe it.”
“I’m sorry.” He looked sorry, at least, though I didn’t know if that was because he knew how enraged he’d made me or whether he was really sorry to see Anissa go. After all, to him she was just a Carver. She meant nothing.
I dismissed him with a wave of my hand, and he left a little too quickly. He’d been pretty eager to get away from me. I didn’t blame him. I was about ready to burst with rage.
If it hadn’t been for Gage running away, going against me, I wouldn’t have doubted Sledge or the rest of my men. My confidence was completely shot, thanks to Gage. I didn’t trust them to go out of their way for a Carver just because I wanted them to.
A knock sounded at my chamber door.
I’d heard Philippa’s knock enough times to know it was her.
She walked in without saying a word. “How’s it going?”
“How do you think?” I snapped, turning away. I didn’t want her to see my face.
She’d say she’d told me so. She knew from the beginning what a bad idea it was for us to get wrapped up with the Carvers.
“Listen.” I felt her hand on my shoulder, but didn’t turn toward her. “You said it yourself. She told you to take care of her sister. If that’s not a clue that she didn’t plan on coming back, what is?”
“I don’t believe it,” I said. How many times had I said that since she disappeared? Probably a hundred. I didn’t believe she would go away and never come back if she had any choice in the matter. “I know her.”
“You don’t. I know you want to believe you do, but you don’t.”
“You don’t know how I feel.”
“You sound like a child right now.”
I whirled around to face her. “It’s none of your business.”
She didn’t back down.
I could always trust her not to back down from me, even if I did my best to push her away.
The fact was, I didn’t appreciate hearing her talk to me that way.
“You’re risking all of us. Don’t you understand that? When you’re clan leader, you have to think about the rest of the clan. You can’t just think about yourself.”
“I’m not just thinking about me.”
“No, you’re thinking about someone who’s a member of an enemy clan. Someone who you took far too big a risk to help in the first place. And there’s only three days until the League meeting—where you have to meet up with Marcus. How do you think he’ll react when he sees you?�
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“He can’t do anything,” I said, shaking her hand away. “Not with the rest of the League around, at the very least.”
“That’s another concern. What will the League think about the way you interfered?”
“They don’t need to know. There’s no proof I helped.”
“Of course they’ll know. Somebody’s bound to know you’re looking for Anissa. They’ll find out, if they haven’t already. A lot can happen in a couple of days.”
I gritted my teeth against what I wanted to say. I wanted to tell her she was wrong, that there was nothing to worry about. That she didn’t know what she was talking about, that she knew nothing about it. Only she did know. She wasn’t wrong. Philippa was the wisest of everyone I knew, the one I trusted the most with my thoughts and plans. And she wasn’t afraid to stand up to me. At moments like that, I didn’t appreciate it very much.
“It’ll be all right. I just need to know where she is and whether she left on her own. If she doesn’t want to be here, that’s fine. I can’t keep her.” I turned to Philippa, desperate to make her understand. “But if she’s in danger… I mean, she’s part fae. You know how precious fae blood is. Malory couldn’t have been the only witch after her.”
“Right—and look how close you came to sacrificing members of the clan over that. Look how you’ve already torn our family apart.”
“Enough!” My voice echoed throughout the chamber.
We glared at each other.
Her chin trembled—the closest she would come to showing emotion, I was sure. At least I hoped that was the farthest she’d go. I couldn’t stand it if she cried.
“It’s bad enough Gage has gone. Do you have to drive the rest of us away, too?”
“You know as well as I do that what happened with Gage didn’t have as much to do with Anissa as it seemed. It was coming for a long time. He never wanted me to lead the clan.”
“Be that as it may, Anissa and her sister pushed him over the edge.”
