“Let me go, Ellie.”
She met his eyes before shaking her head. “Not before you tell me why you decided to leave me here. You think I’m weak, don’t you? Admit it.”
He sighed, now completely slack in the rope. “You’re not weak. You’re the strongest woman I know.”
She straightened a little at his words. “Then why?”
“Because...” He looked over at the men, but they refused to look him in the eyes. Instead, they pretended to focus on their surroundings. “I didn’t want you to get hurt.”
“You think I can’t take care of myself?” She tugged the rope to show him who was in charge. In all honesty, she knew he could’ve released himself from her hold long ago. But he’d stayed there, letting her have the power.
“I think against several armed men, no one is completely safe. Not even me. I didn’t want to take a chance with your life. It isn’t worth it.”
She couldn’t argue with that. She might be capable of many things, but she hadn’t been able to stop McCoy from kidnapping her from the train. “It isn’t your choice to make. I’m in charge of my own life.”
He nodded. “I know. But I’m a marshal; it’s my duty to protect.”
Her stomach fluttered. It was his duty to protect everyone, but it didn’t feel like that was what he was saying. It almost felt like he’d meant, It’s my duty to protect you.
What would it be like to have a man like him looking out for her? Not just in a dangerous situation, but everyday ones? During the calm moments, as well as the storms?
Sorrow lined her stomach like lead.
What was she even doing? How had things come to this? She’d gone from one mistake to the next since she’d left Texas, and now here she was, lassoing a U.S. Marshal.
She looked down, and her grip on the rope loosened.
Silence filled the air a moment before the Chief Marshal said, “We’ll, ah, meet you at the horses.” And he led the other men away.
She saw Declan nod out of the corner of her eye, but he didn’t make any moves toward her.
“Are you ready to untie me now?”
She nodded, still not looking at him, before moving to the knot and releasing it in quick work. She turned away from him as a tear slid down her cheek.
“Hey.” He touched her arm and turned her back toward him. “What’s this?”
She still wouldn’t look up at him. She tried to stop another tear from sliding down her cheek, but she couldn’t. She was pathetic. Raging mad one moment, crying the next.
He lifted her chin with a finger and stared into her eyes. “Why are you crying?”
“It’s stupid. I’m stupid.”
His nostrils flared. “Never say that. You’re the farthest thing from stupid.”
“Well, I feel like I am.” She sniffed. “Attacking you and now crying. No wonder you wanted to leave me at the hotel. Who wants to take some emotional woman to catch criminals?”
She felt low and worthless. She should cut herself some slack about her emotional state though. She had been kidnapped, threatened, and left for dead all in a matter of days.
“That isn’t why I wanted you to stay,” he said softly, waiting for her eyes to meet his. His hand went to her face, and he brushed his thumb against her cheek. “I don’t mind tears. At least, not yours.”
Her heart clenched when he looked at her like that, when it seemed as if he could see straight into her soul, and something shifted within her. “Then why, Declan?”
He cupped her face with both hands. “Because I couldn’t bear it if something happened to you. I thought it would be fine having you there. If you stayed where we told you to, you’d be safe. But so many things can go wrong. There’s always a chance you could be hurt. I couldn’t bear the thought of that. Not after everything we’ve been through.”
Her soul deflated. So that’s where this was coming from. He felt guilty over what had happened to her under his watch. All of this was nothing more than him trying to make up for his part in Jesse’s plan. She raised her hand to his and squeezed. “I’m fine. A little emotional, but fine. At least, I will be.” Her eyes pleaded with his. “I need to be there. I need to see you arrest them; I can’t live with myself otherwise. And I’m afraid. I feel like they’re always there, waiting and watching. I always will, I know it. That’s why I need to be there. If I am, this feeling of helplessness will leave and I’ll be free.”
She willed him to understand. She needed him to.
His thumbs brushed her cheeks, before he looked away and nodded. “I’m sorry. I should’ve never made the decision to leave without telling you. It was wrong of me.” He glanced back at her. “Forgive me?”
Her mouth fell open. No man had ever apologized to her before. “Yes.”
“If you’re determined to come, you can.”
“I am,” she quickly said.
“You’ll still need to follow our orders once we’re there. I can’t have you in harm’s way.”
“I completely understand.” She would’ve agreed to anything he’d said, as long as he let her go with them.
She just hoped she could keep her promise.
Chapter 10
With plenty of time to spare, the four marshals and Ellie arrived at the location Jesse had outlined. Located a few miles south of a mountain pass, it was an ideal way to conceal a train. Declan had to hand it to the man, he knew how to get away with robbing trains.
“They’ll cut the engine and apply the brakes somewhere along here.” Declan pointed to the location on a map. “The train will be stopped, concealed by those hills. Most of the men are normally already on the train when they attack, but they always have someone meet them with horses for their escape. If they do everything according to how they’ve operated in the past, and that’s a big if, we’d do best to take the getaway horses first. They’ll have nowhere to go.”
“What about the other passengers?” Ellie asked, looking between the men.
None of them wanted to answer. Hostage situations were always a risk, especially in scenarios such as this, but they didn’t have any other choice. If they had to use the horses to bargain for hostages, they would. They’d eventually capture the gang down the road anyway, but if the marshals could solve this situation while on the train, they had to try.
Declan outlined the plan, and taking point, since he had the most experience with the gang. He told each person where they should be and when. When the men all nodded, agreeing with the plan, the group broke up and headed to their stations to await the train.
“And me?” Ellie asked once the other rode away. “Where should I be?”
The sun glimmered on her honey-gold curls, almost casting a halo around her, and the sight took his breath away.
He coughed through his sudden discomfort, before pointing to a cluster of trees about a hundred feet away. “Go to those trees; I want you concealed the entire time. The gang shouldn’t come anywhere near there, but just in case, I want you out of sight.”
“All right.”
Her easy acceptance raised the hairs on the back of his neck. “You promise?”
“I promise to stay there as long as it’s safe. I can’t say I’ll stay there no matter what. What if it caught fire or something?”
His lip quirked at her prim tone, but something still felt off. “I mean it, Ellie. If you don’t promise to try to stay out of harm’s way, I can’t do my job. I can’t focus on capturing them if I’m worried about you.”
She appeared chastened by his words. “I’ll keep out of trouble.”
That was probably the best he’d get from her. Lord, what had happened to him? He’d dealt with his fair share of witnesses and hostages, but he’d never been so afraid for another person in all his life.
Is that what love did to a person? Made them weak and afraid? It’s no wonder marshals hardly ever had wives or families. There was too much fear with loved ones involved to do the job efficiently.
“That’ll have to do.�
�� He nodded to the trees. “Go on. Don’t leave that spot until I come get you. Or”—he shook his head—“it catches on fire.”
She snorted a laugh before riding off.
He shook his head, not able to believe that woman. She could turn him upside down and inside out in a matter of seconds.
If he wasn’t a marshal and were able to marry, she’d sure make life interesting.
And even though that wasn’t possible, for a second, as he rode to his station, he relished how truly great it might’ve been.
Ellie waited in the grove of trees, hiding behind them just as Declan had instructed. She would try to be on her best behavior today. More than anything, she didn’t want to distract the men from their jobs. She would never be able to live with herself if she did something which cost one of the men their lives.
She just hoped and prayed all of this would be over soon. Maybe then she could decide what she was going to do with her life.
Before she could berate herself for her indecisiveness, she heard the telltale sound of a train. Her stomach flipped, suddenly sick with worry. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if Jesse’s gang wasn’t caught today. It meant Declan would be alive and well, no matter what.
The locomotive roared down the tracks behind a hill, its sound the only indication of the engines power, until it whipped around a bend and came into view.
She sucked breaths in and out, her heart racing in tune with the chug chugging of the train. It was still moving at full speed.
As it sped down the track, her heart slowed. Her muscles relaxed. Everything was going to be all right. It had all been a lie. Either Jesse had changed his mind, or he’d given them a false lead. But whatever his reasoning was, Ellie was relieved by it.
She might still be in danger, her future might still be in limbo, but Declan was alive. He was well.
She refused to think about what that meant. Why she cared so much.
Then again, she should care. He’d protected her, after all. He’d been there for her when she’d been kidnapped, and had kept her out of McCoy’s clutches. She should want him to remain safe. It didn’t have to mean anything more than that.
Relieved nothing had happened, she fit her foot into a stirrup and stood to mount just when the engine cut and the train screeched, it’s wheels fighting against the brakes to come to a stop.
“No.” She breathed. “No.” If the train was stopping, it had to be a trap. But how, where?
She flew on her horse, but remained in the trees. She’d made a promise to Declan, and as long as everything went smoothly, she’d stay there.
The train had gone farther than Declan had anticipated. Instead of stopping in the center of the valley, the engine was just a hair into the pass.
The marshals rode to intercept, and Ellie kept her eyes peeled for the getaway horses.
When silence filled the air, Ellie knew something was wrong.
There were no horses.
Gunshots sounded, and the marshals yelled, but she couldn’t see anything. They were on the other side of the train.
More gun shots rang out, and she strained to see something, anything.
She wanted to ride out and help the men, but knew it would only make things worse. Straining in her horse, the urge to do something overwhelmed her. She had to help. She had to.
She was about to leave her hiding spot, when she spotted a man running from the train. She could only imagine what he was trying to escape from. She willed him to run faster, to get away from danger. He saw the trees and adjusted his course to them. Probably realizing they would conceal him.
She was about to call out to him and urge him on. But just as she opened her mouth, the sound strangled in her throat.
She realized it was one of the men in Jesse’s gang.
And he was headed straight for her.
Her gaze wildly searched for Declan, but he was nowhere to be seen as gunfire continued on the other side. She swallowed hard before dismounting from her horse. Hiding both her and her mount deeper into the trees, she reached into her pocket for her pistol.
She knew how to fire it. She would fire it if needed.
She waited behind a tree, her hearing sharpened as she focused all her energy on that one sense.
A few seconds later, he ran into the alcove, his breathing labored as he paused to catch his breath between chuckles.
He thought robbing the train was funny? He probably thought capturing her, tormenting her had been funny too. He’d egged McCoy on that night around the fire.
He thought he’d gotten away from the marshals.
She cocked the hammer and stepped out. “Hold up your hands.”
“What the…” The man spun toward her. “You!”
She nodded, her aim steady. “Me. If you move an inch, I’ll shoot you.”
He snarled, stepping toward her.
“I mean it!” she cried, as he took two more steps. “I’ll do it!”
At her words, he ran toward her. She fired, screaming as the force of the shot surged up her arm.
The man collapsed mid-step, his momentum carrying him forward to land at her feet. She screamed again, retreating until her back hit the trunk of a tree.
I killed him. I killed him. The thought screamed through her mind over and over until she heard horses pounding toward her.
When Declan ran into the trees, she wildly pointed to the man on the ground with her pistol. “I killed him. He was here. He ran here. From the train. Then he came to the trees. And I shot him. I told him to stop. But he didn’t. And I killed him.”
She couldn’t stop talking. Couldn’t take her eyes away from the corpse on the ground.
Declan pried the gun from her grasp, throwing it to the ground, before crushing her to him. She babbled incoherently, not understanding anything Declan spoke to her.
Her teeth chattered, as her body shook.
Later, she wouldn’t even remember anything she or Declan had said. There was only one truth today, and that was she’d taken someone’s life. She’d killed a person. Even if that man had been a thief, a kidnapper, or possibly even a murderer. He was dead.
That couldn’t be undone.
Chapter 11
Ellie grabbed her meager belongings from her hotel room, shoving them in a bag with little thought or care.
After she and the marshals had ridden back to the hotel that afternoon, she’d refused to talk to anyone, even Declan.
She’d needed time alone. Time to process things. Time to make decisions.
Now she had.
She shoved a comb in the bag and roughly closed it.
She was getting out of here. Declan would have to understand. They didn’t need her testimony. Not really. Besides, she was a wreck. Who would believe a hysterical woman on the stand— No, it was worse than that.
Who would believe a murderer?
She sniffled and failed at tying the pull string in a knot. With a deep breath, she closed her eyes and willed herself to relax, before opening them and trying again.
This would pass. It had to. She may have lost the opportunity to have a ranch with Ivan, because she couldn’t go to him. At least, not until the rest of the gang was captured. Nor could she go home. She’d have to make a life of her own somewhere. But it wasn’t impossible.
What was also impossible, was her staying here a moment longer.
She debated leaving Declan a note, but decided against it. What would she say anyway? Sorry? Thank him for protecting her, then bailing on him? That she cared about him more than she should? What would any of that accomplish anyway?
It was better to break things off cleanly, to move on as if it’d never happened. She could have a fresh start somewhere. Alone.
If that thought needled her heart, she’d have to let it. She couldn’t live with herself here.
When it was dark out and the town had settled down for the night, she lifted her window as quietly as she could and scooted down the pitched roof.
It wasn’
t too high of a jump to the ground, and she was confident she could make it without injury. At least she hoped so.
Peering over the edge, she couldn’t see the ground well in the darkness. She would take the risk and jump regardless. She knew it was down there—somewhere—but staying just wasn’t an option.
She tossed her bag to the ground and gauged the distance after hearing a soft thump.
She turned around and tried lowering herself down one of the support poles she’d seen earlier, but had no luck finding one with her searching leg.
Holding on tight, she slid further off the roof, suspended for a moment while she worked up the courage to let go.
She muttered a curse at her cowardice and decided it was better if she counted to herself. “One, two, three.”
But as she let go, arms wrapped around her, and she slowly slid down a firm, warm body. Declan’s scent filled her, and she stifled the knee-jerk scream that bubbled up her throat.
“Is something wrong with your door?” Declan teased.
“Other than the fact someone is guarding it?”
He kept her in his arms instead of letting go, and she found she liked it. Craved it even.
Her eyes finally adjusted a little to the darkened porch, and she saw a glimmer in his eyes. “You know they would’ve gotten you whatever you needed. You’re not a prisoner, Ellie.”
No. She wasn’t a prisoner like Jesse would be, once they captured him. She wasn’t locked in jail, and she wouldn’t be tried in a court of law. But in a way, they were still holding her. They would never let her walk away. “Aren’t I?”
“No.”
His firm answer ignited something in her she’d worried she’d lost that afternoon. “So you’d let me leave? Just let me walk right out of my bedroom door, get on a horse, and go off on my own, without testifying?” It felt so good to have something burning within her again. After hours of numbness, indignation felt exhilarating.
He didn’t answer, but that was answer in and of itself.
A Mail-Order Chance (Miners to Millionaires Book 5) Page 8
