The conversation was easy and natural, and I revealed more about myself than I would ever have imagined. In the silences we listened to the water and the rustling of the spartina grass in the marsh. I forgot about violence and death and did something I hadn’t done in a very long time. I relaxed.
“I can’t believe I’m talking so much,” I said, as I began to gather plates and napkins.
Ryan reached for the empty cans. “Let me help.”
Our arms brushed and I felt heat race across my skin. Wordlessly, we gathered the dinner mess and brought it to the kitchen.
When we returned to the couch Ryan stood over me a moment, then sat close, placed both hands on my shoulders, and turned my body away from him. As I was about to object he began massaging the muscles at the base of my neck, across my shoulders, and down my arms to just above the elbows. His hands slid down my back, then worked their way upward, each thumb moving in small circles along the edge of a shoulder blade. When he reached my hairline his fingers made the same rotating motions in the hollows below my skull.
My eyes closed.
“Mmmmm.”
“You’re very tense.”
This was too good to ruin with talk.
Ryan’s hands dropped to the small of my back, and his thumbs kneaded the muscles paralleling my spine, pressing higher inch by inch. My breathing slowed and I felt myself melt.
Then I remembered Harry. And my lack of underwear.
I turned to face him, to pull the plug, and our eyes met. Ryan hesitated a moment, then cupped my face in both his hands, and pressed his lips to mine. He ran his fingers along my jawline and backward through my hair, then his arms circled my shoulders and he pulled me close. I started to push away, then stopped, my hands flat on his chest. He felt lean and taut, his muscles molded to his bones.
I felt the heat of his body and smelled his skin, and my nipples hardened under my thin cotton shirt. Collapsing against his chest, I closed my eyes and kissed back.
He held me hard against him and we kissed a long time. When my arms went around his neck he slid his hand under my shirt and danced his fingers across my skin. His stroke felt cobweb light, and shivers raced up my back and across the top of my skull. I arched against his chest and kissed him harder, opening and closing my mouth to the rhythm of his breathing.
He dropped his hand and ran his fingers around my waist and up my stomach, circling my breasts with the same feathery touch. My nipples throbbed and fire surged through my body. He thrust his tongue into my mouth and my lips closed around it. His hand cupped my left breast, then gently bounced it up and down. Then he squeezed the nipple between his thumb and finger, compressing and releasing in time to the sucking of our mouths.
I ran my fingers along his spine and his hand traveled downward to the curve of my waist. He caressed my belly, circled my navel, then hooked his fingers inside the waistband of my shorts. Current shot through my lower torso.
Eventually, our lips separated and Ryan kissed my face and ran his tongue inside my ear. Then he eased me back against the cushions, and lay beside me, the off-the-chart blue eyes boring into mine. Shifting onto his side, he took me by the hips, and pulled me to him. I could feel his hardness, and we kissed again.
After a while he disengaged, crooked his knee, and pressed his thigh between my legs. I felt an explosion in my loins and found it hard to breathe. Again Ryan put one hand below the T-shirt and slid it upward to my breast. He made circular movements with his palm, then ran his thumb across my nipple. I arched my back and moaned as the sensation obliterated the world around me. I lost all sense of time.
Moments or hours later his hand dropped, and I felt a tugging on my zipper. I buried my nose in his neck and knew one thing with certainty. Regardless of Harry, I wouldn’t say no.
Then the phone shrilled.
Ryan’s hands went to my ears and he kissed me hard on the mouth. I responded, clutching the hair at the back of his head, cursing Southern Bell. We ignored it through four rings.
When the answering machine clicked on the voice was soft and hard to hear, as though its owner were speaking from the end of a long tunnel. We both lunged, but it was too late.
Kathryn had hung up.
20
THERE WAS NO SALVAGING THE SITUATION AFTER KATHRYN’S CALL. While Ryan was up for giving it a go, rational thought had returned and I was not in a good mood. Not only had I missed the opportunity to talk with Kathryn but I knew I’d have to live with Detective Dick’s new sense of sexual prowess. While the orgasm was overdue and would certainly have been welcome, I suspected the cost was already too high.
I hustled Ryan out and fell into bed, ignoring teeth and my nightly routine. My last image before drifting off came to me from the seventh grade: Sister Luke lecturing on the wages of sin. I supposed my romp with Ryan would goose these wages well above minimum.
I woke to sunshine and the cry of gulls, and an immediate flashback to my roll on the couch. I cringed and covered my face with both hands, feeling like a teen who’d given it up in a Pontiac.
Brennan, what were you thinking?
That was not the issue. The problem lay in what I’d been thinking with. Edna St. Vincent Millay had written a poem about that. What was it called? “I Being Born a Woman and Distressed.”
Sam called at eight to say the Murtry case was going nowhere. No one had seen anything unusual. No strange boats had been spotted approaching or leaving the island in the past few weeks. He wanted to know if I’d heard from Hardaway.
I told him I hadn’t. He said he was going to Raleigh for a few days and wanted to be sure I was taken care of.
Oh, yeah.
He explained how to close up the boat and where to leave the key, and we said good-bye.
I was scraping pizza into the garbage when I heard a knock at the port entrance. I had a feeling who was there and ignored it. The banging continued, relentless as a National Public Radio fund drive, and after a while I couldn’t take it. I raised the blinds to see Ryan standing exactly where he’d been the night before.
“Good morning.” He held out a bag of doughnuts.
“Expanding into food delivery?” I lowered the screen. One innuendo and I knew I’d rip his throat out.
He climbed in, grinned, and offered high-calorie, low-food-value treats. “They go well with coffee.”
I went to the galley, poured two cups, and added milk to mine.
“It’s a beautiful day out there.” He reached for the milk carton.
“Mm.”
I helped myself to a chocolate-glazed and leaned against the sink. I had no intention of resettling on the couch.
“I’ve already spoken to Baker,” said Ryan.
I waited.
“He’ll meet with us at three.”
“I’ll be on the road at three.” I reached for another doughnut.
“I think we should make another social call,” said Ryan.
“Yes.”
“Maybe we can get Kathryn alone.”
“That seems to be your specialty.”
“Are you going to keep this up all day?”
“I’ll probably sing when I’m on the road.”
“I didn’t come out here intending to seduce you.”
That piqued me even more.
“You mean I’m not in my sister’s league?”
“What?”
We drank in silence, then I refilled my mug and pointedly replaced the pot. Ryan watched, then crossed to Mr. Coffee and poured himself a second cup.
“Do you think Kathryn actually has something to tell us?” he asked.
“She probably phoned to invite me for tuna asserole.”
“Now who’s being a pain in the ass?”
“Thanks for noticing.” I rinsed my mug and placed it upside down on the counter.
“Look, if you’re embarrassed about last night . . .”
“Should I be?”
“Of course not.”
“What a relief.”<
br />
“Brennan, I’m not going to go berserk in the autopsy room or grope you on a stakeout. Our personal relationship will in no way affect our professional behavior.”
“Small chance. Today I’m wearing underwear.”
“See.” He grinned.
I went aft to gather my things.
Half an hour later we were parked in front of the farmhouse. Dom Owens sat on the porch talking with a group of people. Through the screen it was impossible to tell anything about the others but gender. All four were male.
A crew was at work in the garden behind the white bungalow, and two women pushed children on the swings by the trailers while several others hung laundry. A blue van was parked in the driveway, but I saw no sign of the white one.
I scanned the figures at the swing set. I didn’t see Kathryn, though I thought one of the infants looked like Carlie. I watched a woman in a floral skirt push the baby back and forth in smooth metronomic arcs.
Ryan and I walked to the door and I knocked. The men stopped talking and turned in our direction.
“May I help you?” said a high-pitched voice.
Owens held up a hand. “It’s fine, Jason.”
He rose, crossed the porch, and pushed open the screen door.
“I’m sorry, but I don’t think I ever got your names.”
“I’m Detective Ryan. This is Dr. Brennan.”
Owens smiled and stepped out onto the stoop. I nodded and took my turn at shaking hands. The men on the porch grew very still.
“What can I do for you today?”
“We’re still trying to determine where Heidi Schneider and Brian Gilbert spent last summer. You were going to raise the question during family hour?” Ryan’s voice held no warmth.
Owens smiled again. “Experiential session. Yes, we did discuss it. Unfortunately, no one knew anything about either of them. I’m so sorry. I had hoped we could be of help.”
“We’d like to speak to your people, if we may.”
“I’m sorry, but I can’t encourage that.”
“And why is that?”
“Our members live here because they seek peace and refuge. Many want nothing to do with the filth and violence of modern society. You, Detective Ryan, represent the world they have rejected. I cannot violate their sanctuary by asking them to speak to you.”
“Some of your members work in town.”
Owens tipped his head and looked to heaven for patience. Then he gave Ryan another smile.
“One of the skills we nurture is encapsulation. Not everyone is equally gifted, but some of our members learn to function in the secular yet remain sealed off, untouched by the moral and physical pollution.” Again the patient smile. “While we reject the profanity of our culture, Mr. Ryan, we are not fools. We know that man does not live by spirit alone. We also need bread.”
While Owens talked I checked the gardeners. No Kathryn.
“Is everyone here free to come and go?” I asked, turning back to Owens.
“Of course.” He laughed. “How could I stop them?”
“What happens if someone wants to leave for good?”
“They go.” He shrugged and spread his hands.
For a moment no one spoke. The creak of the swings carried across the yard.
“I thought your young couple might have stayed with us briefly, perhaps during one of my absences,” Owens offered. “Though not common, that has happened. But I’m afraid that is not the case. No one here has any recollection of either of them.”
Just then Howdy Doody appeared from behind the neighboring house. When he spotted us he hesitated, then turned and hurried back in the direction from which he’d come.
“I’d still like to speak to a few folks,” said Ryan. “There could be something someone knows that they just don’t think is important. That happens all the time.”
“Mr. Ryan, I will not have my people harassed. I asked about your young couple and no one knew them. What more is there to say? I’m afraid I really can’t have you disturbing our routine.”
Ryan cocked his head and made a clucking sound. “I’m afraid you’re going to have to, Dom.”
“And why is that?”
“Because I’m not going to go away. I have a friend named Baker. You do remember him? And he has friends who give him things called warrants.”
Owens and Ryan locked eyes, and for a moment no one spoke. I heard the men on the porch rise, and in the distance a dog barked. Then Owens smiled and cleared his throat.
“Jason, please ask everyone to come to the parlors.” His voice was low and even.
Owens stood back and a tall man in a red warm-up suit slipped past him and angled toward the neighboring property. He was soft and overweight, and looked a little like Julia Child. I watched him stop to stroke a cat, then continue toward the garden.
“Please come in,” said Owens, opening the screen. We followed him to the same room we’d occupied the day before and sat on the same rattan couch. The house was very quiet.
“If you’ll excuse me, I’ll be right back. Would you care for anything?”
We told him no, and he left the room. Overhead, a fan hummed softly.
Soon I heard voices and laughter, then the creak of the screen door. As Owens’ flock filtered in I studied them one by one. I sensed Ryan doing the same.
Within minutes the room was full, and I could conclude only one thing. The assembly looked totally unremarkable. They might have been a Baptist study group on its annual summer picnic. They joked and laughed and looked anything but oppressed.
There were babies, adults, and at least one septuagenarian, but no adolescents or children. I did a quick count: seven men, thirteen women, three kids. Helen had said there were twenty-six living at the commune.
I recognized Howdy and Helen. Jason leaned against a wall. El stood near the archway, Carlie on her hip. She stared at me intently. I smiled, remembering our meeting in Beaufort the previous afternoon. Her expression didn’t change.
I scanned the other faces. Kathryn was not present.
Owens returned and the room fell silent. He made introductions, then explained why we were there. The adults listened attentively, then turned to us. Ryan handed the photo of Brian and Heidi to a middle-aged man on his left, then outlined the case, avoiding unnecessary detail. The man looked at the picture and passed it on. As the snapshot circulated I studied each face, watching for subtle changes of expression that might indicate recognition. I saw only puzzlement and empathy.
When Ryan finished, Owens again addressed his followers, soliciting input on the couple or the phone calls. No one spoke.
“Mr. Ryan and Dr. Brennan have requested permission to interview you individually.” Owens looked from face to face. “Please feel free to talk to them. If there is a thought you harbor, please share it with honesty and compassion. We did not cause this tragedy, but we are part of the cosmic whole and should do what is in our power to set this dislocation in order. Do it in the name of harmony.”
Every eye was on him, and I felt a strange intensity in the room.
“Those of you who cannot speak should feel no guilt or shame.” He clapped his hands. “Now. Work and be well! Holistic affirmation through collective responsibility!”
Spare me, I thought.
When they’d gone Ryan thanked him.
“This is not Waco, Mr. Ryan. We have nothing to hide.”
“We were hoping to speak with the young woman we met yesterday,” I said.
He looked at me a moment then said, “Young woman?”
“Yes. She came in with a child. Carlie, I believe?”
He looked at me so long I thought perhaps he didn’t remember. Then the Owens smile.
“That would be Kathryn. She had an appointment today.”
“An appointment?”
“Why are you concerned with Kathryn?”
“She seems close to Heidi’s age. I thought they might have known each other.” Something told me not to discuss our
juice party in Beaufort.
“Kathryn wasn’t here last summer. She’d gone to visit with her parents.”
“I see. When will she be back?”
“I’m not certain.”
The screen door opened and a tall man appeared in the hallway. He was scarecrow thin, and had a white streak across his right eyebrow and lashes, giving him an oddly lopsided look. I remembered him. During the assembly he’d stood near the hall, playing with one of the toddlers.
Owens held up one finger, and scarecrow nodded and pointed to the back of the house. He wore a bulky ring that looked out of place on his long, bony finger.
“I’m sorry, but there are things I must do,” said Owens. “Talk with whomever you like, but please, respect our desire for harmony.”
He ushered us to the door and extended a hand. If nothing else, Dom was a great shaker. He said he was glad we had stopped by and wished us luck. Then he was gone.
Ryan and I spent the rest of the morning talking to the faithful. They were pleasant, and cooperative, and totally harmonious. And they knew zilch. Not even the whereabouts of Kathryn’s appointment.
By eleven-thirty we knew nothing more than when we’d arrived.
“Let’s go thank the reverend,” said Ryan, taking a set of keys from his pocket. They hung from a large plastic disk, and were not the ones for the rental car.
“What the hell for?” I asked. I was hungry and hot and ready to move on.
“It’s good manners.”
I rolled my eyes, but Ryan was already halfway across the yard. I watched him knock on the screen door, then speak to the man with the pale eyebrow. In a moment Owens appeared. Ryan said something and extended his hand and, like marionettes, the three men squatted then rose quickly. Ryan spoke again, turned, and walked toward the car.
* * *
After lunch we tried a few more pharmacies, then drove back to the government center. I showed Ryan the records offices, then we crossed the grounds to the law enforcement building. A black man in a tank top and fedora was crisscrossing the lawn on a small tractor, his bony knees projecting like legs on a grasshopper.
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