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“I didn’t kill Simon. I don’t know what happened to him, but you—you left me no other choice,” he said, voice grave. “I had to clean up after you, make sure you didn’t expose yourself before they knew what to do with you. If you hadn’t busted those windows in front of him, he’d still be hanging around here and dreaming about college. You didn’t leave me a choice. ”
“No,” I croaked out, horrified at what he was saying.
“Yes! He would’ve told the world. ”
“You’re…you’re insane. You…didn’t need to kill him. ”
“Listen to me!” he yelled, dragging his fingers through his hair, eyes bugging. “After I left the party, I stayed and I saw him leave once you broke the windows. I followed him home, and he was so drunk he pulled over on the side of the road. He was going crazy about it and I had to turn him over. I don’t know what they did with him. ”
“There…there was blood on his watch. ”
“Simon fought back, but he was alive when I last saw him. ”
But those who discovered the truth about the Luxen disappeared. Simon…Simon wasn’t coming back. And there wasn’t enough air in the house. My chest was rising and falling, but I felt like I couldn’t breathe. Tears built in my eyes as I stared up at him.
“Listen to me, Katy. This is bigger than you think. ” He grasped my cheeks, forcing me to look at him. “You have no idea who this involves, the lies, and what people will do for power. I didn’t have a choice. ”
I could feel my strength sliding back into me. A few more moments… “You’ve lied to me. ”
“Not everything is a lie!” His grip dug in painfully, bruising my skin until a strangled cry escaped. He drew in a ragged breath. “You know, this wasn’t how it was supposed to go down. I was supposed to get you ready, to make sure you are a viable subject. And then I turn you in. If I don’t, they’ll kill Chris. I can’t—I won’t let that happen. ”
Chris? Brain cells must’ve been damaged because it took a few seconds to remember who Chris was. “Your friend—the one who healed you?”
Blake closed his eyes, nodding. “They have Chris. And if I don’t perform, they’ll hurt him. They’ll kill him. And I can’t let that happen. Not because of what it means for me, because I know—I know if they kill him I die, but there are things they do…”
They knew… One couldn’t survive without the other. Oh my God, they knew. The kind of power that knowledge wielded was horrific.
“I know you understand how strong that bond is. ” Blake opened his eyes. “You won’t tell me who healed you, but you’d do anything to protect that Luxen, wouldn’t you? Anything. Chris… He’s the only real family I have left. And I don’t care about what they do to me, but him?”
As I stared into Blake’s eyes, a thin tendril of sympathy wiggled free. If the DOD was holding Chris, using him to force Blake to do things for them, then he was trapped. There was a moment of stark clarity. Were Dawson and Bethany in the same position?
But there was something else. Blake and I did have something in common. He’d do anything for Chris. And I’d do anything for Daemon.
With a burst of energy, I buckled under him, trying to throw him off. He captured my hands and yanked me off the couch. I hit the floor on my side, knocking the air out of me. Rolling me over, he straddled my hips, lifting my joined wrists so they were above my head.
He pressed his weight down. “I didn’t want to do this. I never wanted anything to do with this. ”
I clung to the anger boiling inside me, knowing if I caved to the fear—or worse yet, the compassion—I’d be useless. “Do what, exactly? Lie to me? Work for the DOD—for your uncle?”
Blake blinked. “You know about Brian? Since when?”
I didn’t give him the benefit of my answer.
His grip on my wrists tightened until I could feel the bones rubbing together. “Tell me!”
“I saw the obituary for your parents! I put two and two together. ”
“When?” He shook me, snapping my head back. “How long have you known? Who have you told?”
“No one!” I screamed, dizzy and faint. “I haven’t told anyone. ”
For several seconds, he stared at me, and then his grip loosened. “I hope so, for their sake. Things are bigger than you realize. Not everything I told you is a lie. The DOD does want humans like us. That’s their ultimate plan. ” He eased up a little, but I still felt like I was being smothered by his weight. “I know what you’re doing, Katy. Don’t call upon the Source. I’m stronger than you. Next time you won’t recover so quickly. I will hurt you. ”
“I already know that,” I spat.
“I like you. I really do. And I wish things were different. You have no idea how badly I wish things were different, Katy. ” He closed his eyes briefly, and when he opened them, they glistened with tears. “Everything I told you about my friend was true, but I grew up knowing about the Luxen. My dad worked as liaison to the DOD, on genetic engineering. And, well, you know who my uncle is. I’m not even sure if the whole accident that changed me wasn’t staged. ” He laughed grimly. “They knew how close Chris and I were, so maybe they expected him to heal me. And the Arum did find my family. None of that is a lie. ”
“But after that? Everything else is a lie. ”
“My family was gone, Katy. All I had was my uncle. They trained me and since I’m young, they sent me to areas where they suspected a human around my age had been mutated. ”
“Oh my God…” I felt sick, and I wanted him off me. I wanted him to be gone. “So this is what you do? Go around, pretending to be someone’s friend? Setting up others?”
“My job is to discover if they are salvageable. ”
“Salvageable?” I whispered, knowing what he meant. “And if they’re not, they get put down. ”
He nodded. “Or worse, Katy… There are worse things than death. ”
I shuddered. It made sense, his obsession with me being able to control the Source, his escalating recklessness.
“I came here to see if you could control the Source. If you would be an asset to the DOD or a waste, but they already checked you out before I arrived, watching you, following how close you are with the Blacks. I heard they even engineered the Arum attacks on you, hoping one of the Blacks would step in and save you, heal you. ”
I gasped. Everything that happened to me had been some sort of experiment? What if I’d died? “What if no one had survived the Arum attack to heal me?”
Blake laughed. “What’s one more dead Luxen to these people? But when they suspected that you’d been healed, they made the necessary calls, and I was brought in. ” He lowered his head, voice dropping. “They also want to know which one healed you. No guesses. No assumptions. You’re going to have to tell them. ”
My heart tumbled over. “I’ll never tell. ”
A sad smile appeared on his lips. “Oh, you will. They have ways of making you talk. They already have their suspicions. My guess is Daemon. It’s so obvious, but they want proof. And if you don’t play their games, they’ll find ways to make you play. ” The smile faded from his lips, eyes growing dark and haunted. “Just like they found a way to make me play. ”
I swallowed, unnerved by the pain in his eyes. “Like with Bethany and Dawson?”
Blake’s lashes lowered, and he nodded. “There are more, Katy. You…you have no idea…but it doesn’t matter. You’ll probably be seeing him soon enough. All I need to do is make one call, and Uncle Brian and Nancy will come. Nancy will be ecstatic. ” He grunted out an ugly laugh. “Uncle Brian has kept her out of the loop. She has no idea how well you’re doing. And they’re going to take you away. They take care of you…as long as you behave. You just have to behave. ”
For a moment, my brain emptied and panic replaced any calm I’d gained. I struggled wildly under him, but he held me down easily.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered hoarsely, and God, I believed that he was.
“But if I don’t do this, they will hurt Chris and I can’t…” He swallowed thickly.
My fear knew no limits at that point. Blake really had no choice. It was his life and his friend’s or mine. No. No, that wasn’t right. He did have a choice, because I would never give up someone else for my survival.
But would I for Daemon?
My heart turned over heavily, and I knew the answer to that. Shades of gray…one big, giant gray area I couldn’t think about right now.
“No. You do have a choice,” I insisted. “You can go against them. Escape! We can find a way to free—”
“We?” He laughed again. “Who is we, Katy? Daemon? Dee? You and me? Hell, every one of us could try to go against the DOD and we’d fail. And the Blacks are going to want to help me? Knowing that I work for the people who took their brother?”
My stomach twisted. “You still have a choice. You don’t have to do this. Please, Blake, you don’t have to do this. ”
He looked away, jaw clenching. “But I do. And one day, you’ll be in the same position as I am. You’ll understand then. ”
“No. ” I shook my head. “I’d never do this to someone. I’d find a way out. ”
His eyes met mine. They were empty, vast. “You’ll see. ”
“Blake—”
A knock on the front door cut off my words. My heart tripled in beat, and Blake froze above me, eyes narrowed, breathing heavy. He pressed his hand over my mouth.
“Katy?” Dee called out. “It’s time to par-tay. Hurry up! Adam is waiting for us in the car. ”
“What is she doing here?” he asked in a hushed voice.
I trembled, staring up at him with wide eyes. How was I supposed to answer with his hand over my mouth?
Dee banged on the front door again. “Katy, I know you’re in there. Answer the door. ”
“Tell her you’ve changed your mind. ” His hand pressed harder against my mouth. “Tell her or I swear to God, I’ll blow her into the Milky Way. I don’t want to do it, but I will. ”
I nodded and very slowly, Blake lifted his fingers and hauled me to my feet. He pushed me out of the living room and toward the door.
“Come on,” Dee whined. “You’re not even answering your phone. Tell Blake you’ve got to go. I know he’s in there. His truck’s out front. ” She giggled then. “So, yeah, hi, Blake!”
I squeezed my eyes against the tears. “I’ve changed my mind. ”
“What?”
“I’ve changed my mind,” I repeated through the door. “I don’t want to go out tonight. I just want to stay home. ”
Please, I begged silently. Please just go. I don’t want to drag you into this. Please.
There was a heavy pause, and then Dee banged on the door harder. “Don’t be a douche, Katy; you’re coming tonight. So open this goddamn door!”
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