by Ellie Parker
The incident with Chris at the bonfire bothered me. Me and Chris weren’t exactly best friends, but we were teammates. What happened to the bro code? He should have come to me, face-to-face and we could have worked it out. I know he was drunk, but if you can’t handle your liquor, don’t fucking drink it.
I was feeling very frustrated. Of course, Dad had plans for me, for all of us for that matter, and I was pretty sure I was going to end up being the only one to go along with it. Stone always marched to a different drum, and Chase, well he was Chase. He didn’t fit into Dad’s business world. I could manage it all right, I suppose, but I wanted to try on the world first. Who knew what I was ignoring or the chances I might give up? Of course, that would piss off Dad.
I knew, deep inside, what was bothering me was that I was tired of being known as one of the triplets. I had a name of my own, my own personality, strengths and yes, weaknesses. I wanted a shot at the world, being just me, just Sven. I knew I had privileges other kids dreamed of, and yet I would’ve swapped places with many of them without thinking twice. Until Jessa. She liked to call us her Three Musketeers, and if that was the truth, then she was the fourth. She had always been one of us, and maybe that was the trouble. We’d shared her attention and been one happy family, the three of us looking after her. That confused things and maybe that’s why I couldn’t get her to recognize that I was serious.
As soon as graduation came, I was gonna toss her in my car and see where the wind took us. Of course, she’d have to be agreeable and there would have to be some kind of permanent understanding between us before we took off. I wouldn’t dream of just shacking up with her and walking away with someone else. I also wouldn’t dream of taking her away from my brothers. At least not forever.
I guess maybe this was all part of what it was to be a senior. You know that your days are limited with your friends, and all the places that are familiar, the things you did together. I knew Dad would just as soon meet me at the school door and usher me straight into college, but that was his dream not mine. Maybe wanted to take a couple years off to travel the world. Maybe I just wanted to sit back and see what the other two thirds of my life intend to do. It’s not that we were competitive, but yes, in a way we were. It was set up that way the day we were born.
“Sven! Come down toss the ball around with us,” Chase called to me.
“Man, don’t you ever take a day off?”
“How old are you, fifty?” The both of them laughed, feeling a lot more playful and a heck of a lot more energized than I was.
I shook my head and muscled up the strength the stand. “Okay, okay, keep your shorts on. I’ll be down in a minute.”
The three of us found our way to a corner of the backyard, away from the house and potential broken windows. Stone was unusually alert, tossing the ball high in a Hail Mary pass. Chase and I fought for it and that was okay. I let him grab it, every ounce of competition having seeped from my bones.
“So, what the hell was up with Chris last night?” Stone was the one to ask it, coming to a stop with the football under his arm.
I shrugged. “God knows. I’m getting bored with this whole scene.”
“I’ll second that,” Chase chimed in. “Won’t be long before it’s over though, so at least there something to look forward to.”
“Are you talking about graduation?” Stone asked. He was barely paying attention.
“What else?”
“A guy can ask a question, can’t he?” He flopped down on the grass and stuck his legs out in front of him, face turned up to the bluest of skies. He was in his own world again, thinking about only God knows what.
I turned back to Chase. It had been a while since my brothers and I had any kind of a one on one. And just as much time since the three of us had been alone together.
“I know college is expected,” Chase said, “But-”
I raised an eyebrow at him and shifted my weight from one foot to the other. “You have other plans?”
“My plans depend on others.” He didn’t fool me. Without having to say the words, I knew he was talking about Jessa. Sometimes I wished I could put my finger on what exactly it was about her.
“Hey. You guys know that Mom and Dad are leaving for a week for the islands, right?” Stone was still on the ground, now tracing the shape of the clouds with a lone finger.
I followed his fingers. “When are they leaving?”
“Friday evening.” Stone nodded and the familiar grin spread across his face. “Party on Saturday.” He pressed his palms against the grass and hopped up with enough power to move a mountain. “Spread the word. Sven you’re in charge of the party favors. Chase, you put out the guest list and me, I’ll take care of the refreshments and Jessa.”
Chase’s mouth dropped wide. I fully understood the sentiment.
Stone shrugged. “My idea, my girl.”
Chase shook his head. “She belongs to all of us, you know that.”
This time, I didn’t allow Stone to be the one to throw the punch line. Obviously this was turning into a competition and fuck me if I was going to throw the towel in and call it a loss.
“We’ll see,” was all I would say, before turning and heading back into the house.
12
Jessa
Word about the party at the Starks spread like a flash flood after a rain. Everyone in school was talking about it; planning what they’d wear and securing dates for the night. Others were breaking up with whomever they were dating so they’d be free to party with abandon. Even Marilyn could be seen making an effort, smiling at Sven suggestively when she could catch his eye. I kept my laughter to myself. No need to add tension to the otherwise excitement in the air.
Since Dad had already gone to bed the night of the bonfire, he wasn’t aware of exactly who brought me home, but he noted that I was in one piece, not drunk and that I got up the next morning as usual. I guess that went a long way toward credibility for the Starks boys. When I asked him about the party, he didn’t hesitate as much when it came to giving an answer. Thankfully that answer was in my favor and I was to be permitted to go.
Even though I was eighteen, Dad went by the ‘my house, my rules’ philosophy. That was fine by me; I had no plans to do anything that would cause trouble, anyway. At least not anything he’d ever have the chance of finding out.
The week ticked down pretty fast and when Saturday night rolled around, I was more excited than a pig in shit. I was wearing a new leather miniskirt with studs down the side seam, platform shoes and a V-neck sweater in white. I kept my makeup subtle, save for going a little redder with my lips.
It was decided that I would drive myself to the party since the Stark boys would be hosts. They’d need to stick around to make sure people stuck to the rules. That was no problem for me and, as scheduled, at 8 o’clock I was headed out the door.
The Starks lived directly on the lake. Their house sat high on a bluff with two sets of staircases descending to the water. Although the waterfront was private, they’d never had a problem with people using it.
Mr. Stark either obviously blindly trusted his sons, or he didn’t care whether they entertained. Maybe he even expected them to have a party. The boys had done things right. I pulled close to the house and off to the side, excited to go inside. Stone was sitting on the front porch, his chest bare, even in the chilling night. The explanation was in his hand; a fifth of Vodka.
“Maceeeeyy!!! You made it.” The drag of my name and the slur of his words made it clear he’d had more than just a splash of liquor. He stepped closer and threw his arms around me. The hug only lasted a second before he pulled back to hold me at arm’s length. Two fingers between his lips, Stone whistled loud enough to blow both my eardrums. Then, with eyes of fire, he leaned in, pressing his lips square against mine. Despite the fact that he didn’t part them, I could still taste the Vodka on his breath.
“And they say it’s tequila that makes your clothes come off,” I whispered against his lips and drew back
to trail a finger down his abs. Had I been thinking, I might have kept my hands to myself. The burn of heat between my thighs was definitely not something I was expecting to come that quick or because of such a simple action. But then again, this is exactly what the Starks had always done to me. They could light a fire in me even in the middle of a snowStark.
“Can I tell you a secret, Jessa?” The smile on Stone’s lips grew wider and before I could decide whether or not I wanted to hear his secret, his lips were pressed against my ear. “I’m not sure I want to share you tonight.”
“Is that so?”
He widened his eyes at me. “You look good enough to eat and anything that looks good enough to eat is also good enough to fu-” He shook his head. “No. That’s not right. Can’t exactly fuck a chicken or a tomato, can you? I mean you could, but…”
I laughed and sat down on the porch next to him. I sort of loved him when he was in these moods, lighthearted, carefree, way too easily distracted.
He placed a hand on my leg and danced his fingers up and down my thigh. There was something relaxing about the motion. It wasn’t sexuality, just comforting and so I didn’t stop him.
More people streamed in and Stone and I stood to greet them, making conversation where conversation could be made. Half the people who came were people from our school. The other half was a mix of college students and seniors from a high school we didn’t belong to. Stone greeted them just the same, like they were old friends he hadn’t seen in more than just a while.
The steady flow inward brought an assortment of hard liquor, soft drinks, beer, wine and things that were hidden inside jackets or buried deeply in pockets. I wasn’t interested in any of that. It’s not that I didn’t drink, but I needed to make it back home in one piece. Fuck up and my dad would put a padlock on my door.
Stone excused himself to the bathroom and Sven appeared to take his place. He leaned over and gave me a kiss on the cheek. “Hello, beautiful.”
“Hello handsome. Looks like you’ve got quite the party on your hands. You think you can clean it all up before your folks get home?”
“We’ve got a cleaning crew coming tomorrow.”
“I should have guessed.” I laughed and snuggled closer to him. He was warmth and strength and I felt protected.
Sven’s hands came to my face and he pulled me against him to kiss me. It was a long kiss, one in which we explored the inner cheeks and tongues and decided mutually we wanted even more. The world blurred at the edges and tiny little stars danced behind my eyes as I fell deeper into him. A hand at the small of my back, Sven kept me steady and pulled tightly against his chest. Somewhere deep down, I knew this should have felt dirty. Or maybe, at the very least, I should have worried about what people would think. There were rumors, of course. Rumors which were only half true as I’d never fully parted my legs to the Stark boys. But Jesus, times like now, I wondered how much longer I would be able to hold out. I wondered just how much it would change things between us. I wondered whether or not I could dodge the bullets with the words whore, and slut and prostitute attached to them. A part of me didn’t care. As soon as graduation came, we’d all be rushed off in different directions and the Stark boys would eventually be nothing more than an ache I couldn’t quite soothe.
Sven broke away from our kiss when someone slapped him on the shoulder.
“Oh, shit,” he muttered.
“What?”
He didn’t say a word but nodded in the direction of the sidewalk full of incoming guests. “C’mon, let’s go inside, or better yet, up to my room.”
I looked through the shadowed faces and to my shock, Marilyn was standing there. She’d pushed herself into a Lycra shirt and tight jeans. It would be kind to say she probably needed talcum powder and grease to get in them.
“Hello, Sven,” she said loudly enough to reach anyone within twenty feet. “Thank you for inviting me.”
I bit my lip to keep from smiling. Actually, The Three Musketeers hadn’t invited anyone at all. The word went out and people invited themselves.
Sven, always the gentleman responded, “Nice of you to come, Marilyn. Hey, would you mind sitting in with me for a bit? Just sit here and direct people to the bathroom, beer and so forth?”
She beamed with pleasure at being singled out. “Oh, of course!”
I almost felt bad for her. Almost.
Sven grabbed my hand and pulled me up to my feet and inside of the house, which was packed so tightly, no one could dance. The whole crowd sort of vibrated together, like waves in a Starky ocean.
Sven cleared a path and pulled me in his wake. We went into the kitchen and he handed me a beer.
“Nope, not drinking tonight. You know that.”
“It’s a party and you’re eighteen. Plus, we’re here to look after you.”
Bottle turned on its head, he took a swig of his own beer. “And,” I said, making a show of pointing to his drink, “I’m supposed to trust you to take me home?”
“I can have a driver deliver you back to daddy dearest.”
Peer pressure existed, my friends. Or maybe it was just Stark pressure. Sven took one, two, three steps in my direction, until my back was flush against the kitchen cupboard. Pressing his groin hard against me, he pinned me in place, then tipped the bottle of beer to my lips.
“Made locally, just like you. A little sweet a little sour, just like you. One hundred percent addicting, just like you.”
I tasted it with the tip of my tongue. It was bitter but there was a subtle flavor of apple. Sven lowered the bottle and took a sip himself, then pressed his lips against mine and funneled the beer into my mouth. How on earth it was possible for it to taste better coming from his mouth, I wasn’t sure. I closed my eyes and swallowed the liquid.
“Sven?”
“Jessa.” His eyes met mine, so much passion filled in them. There was hurt too. I didn’t know what it was that was causing the ache, but I knew that I felt something similar. This party might not have been the last one, but it was one of the last. Soon enough, we’d be carted off to college, all the people who left their marks on us, fading in the distance.
Smoothing his thumb against my cheek, Sven’s lips tilted into a half smile.
“I…”
I could see in his eyes that he knew exactly what I was going to say. A finger pressed against my lips, he whispered, “we’ve never defined anything, Jessa. Let’s not start now.”
A part of me was thankful. A different part of me felt a little angry, maybe even hurt. I don’t know why the words needed to burn against my tongue at that particular moment, but it was a heavy burden to carry around. So heavy sometimes that I felt like I’d explode if I didn’t just put my feelings on the table, lay them out so that they couldn’t be mistaken.
We wandered out onto the deck which was a good forty feet in the air. Arm-crossed staircases led to the lawn, garden and eventually sand in the backyard.
The yard, lined with tiki torches, also had propane heaters to keep the partiers warm. Tables and chairs had been set up, but most of them had been knocked over as guests tossed around a football.
I let go of Sven’s hand to pick one up and set it back in place. That’s all it took for Chase to steal him away.
“We’ve got trouble. A busload from Caverton,” was all he said when he turned to face me again.
Caverton was our rival school. A bunch of rowdy kids, without the money to get away with their bad behavior.
Sven handed me his beer and I stood at the side of the crowd, just watching. I finished my beer, and then what was left of Sven’s, too.
My eyes on the crowd again, I watched as Chris walked hand in hand with Lixie. They were headed down to the water, likely in hopes that a spot under the lip of the dunes was free. Word had it that Lixie lost her virginity in the eighth grade, so surely she could take care of herself, even if Chris got himself blotto again.
“Hey, Mace.” I turned to find Lori, a girl from my algebra class. “L
ove the outfit. It’s so Gucci!”
“Thanks, Lori. You look good, yourself.”
She twirled a finger in her hair and puckered her lips. “You seen Stone?”
“He’s handling some unwelcome crashers out front. I’d wait back here and give them room.” She nodded before wandering away, her head bobbing to the rap music blaring over the lawn.
I walked a little higher up the hill until I had a hawkeye’s view of the crowd.
Everyone was here. I didn’t know but a fraction of them. From where I stood, it was like looking down on a train of ants, moving around the obstacles in one lane headed to the beach, and a second headed back to the house.
I felt a tug on the back of my shirt and turned to find Sven, holding out a beer to me. “What happened to your unwanted guests?”
“Nothing. We got between them and told them the house was full. They held out a couple kegs and some weed and said if we didn’t let them in, they’d go to the neighbor’s beach access.”
“So, you let them in?”
He shrugged. “No choice. What do you say we head to the beach with everybody?”
I nodded and Sven reached behind a bush and produced a small cooler. He opened the lid to show me an assortment of craft beers. “A little party of our own.”
I was already having trouble walking straight in the sand, but after all, it was a party, right? The music seemed to get louder, and I watched Sven’s ass as he walked ahead to clear a path for us. It was like something out of a movie, really. People saw him coming and automatically parted to let him through.
We finally got down to the beach and into the smog of sweaty party goers. Kicking off his shoes, Sven waded into the frigid water just above his ankles. “Wanna join me?”
I shook my head. “I don’t think so.”
“You sure?” He set the cooler down, eyes trained on mine and reached for me. Before I could step an inch back, he was scooping me into his arms. I screamed and fought against him, but not nearly enough for him to settle me down.
