Jay Johnson came over. “Is there anything I can do to help you, Sky?”
Sniffing, Sky felt so ashamed. “Thanks, but no, Jay. I—”
Jay held up his hand. “It’s okay, Sky. That was Chuck Harper who scared the daylights out of you. He had no right touching you like that. I’m really sorry...” Jay scowled angrily in the direction of the glass door where Harper had left earlier. “He shouldn’t have sneaked up on you like that. He has a bad habit of stalking women, you know? He gets off on scaring them.”
Gray held on to his rage over Harper. “Jay? Can we give you that list Iris wrote out? Collect the rest of the items for Sky? I’ll drop back by here a little later and pick them up. Is that all right with you?”
The owner smiled. “Sure. Anything to help.”
Sky looked around. “There’s the list,” she said, pointing to it on the floor near the cart. Near where she’d been sitting and trying to scramble away from Harper. Swallowing hard, she gave Gray a miserable look, feeling like a failure. He nodded and seemed to understand how she felt. Gray pulled her beneath his right arm, tucking her against him.
“Come on,” he urged her. “Let’s get out of here. You need some fresh air.”
“Yes, fresh air...” Because she felt suffocated in that torture room. No light, no fresh air. She gulped and tried to shore herself up. Sky could feel Gray being a guardian toward her. He pushed open the glass door, and the sunlight fell across her. Outside on the main plaza, life went on as usual. Sky halted and whispered, “My purse... I left it in the cart...”
“I’ll get it,” Gray told her. He guided her to a wooden bench next to the door. “Sit here. I’ll be right back.”
Sky wanted to shrink into the wood and disappear. What had those people thought when she’d sprawled out on the floor, looking like a madwoman? Oh, God. And she buried her face in her hands, battling the urge to cry. She sensed someone nearby and lifted her head.
“Here you go,” Gray murmured, handing the purse toward her.
“Thanks,” Sky whispered, pulling the strap over her left shoulder.
“Feel like walking?”
Nodding, Sky started to rise.
“Take my hand.”
Gray’s hand was large and beautifully shaped. His fingers were long, his palm thick with calluses. Sky willingly slid her hand into his and allowed him to lift her to her feet. When he automatically placed his arm around her shoulders and drew her close, she sighed raggedly. How did Gray know she needed this?
The boardwalk went all the way around the busy main plaza. Tourists were everywhere, the traffic heavy. Gray walked on the outside, guiding Sky close to the buildings so no one could go on the inside and suddenly come up from behind her, startling her. He kept his stride checked for her sake. Sky rested her head wearily against him, a sign of trust. It made his heart widen with a flood of new emotions, new awareness.
Gray looked around for that bastard, Harper, but didn’t see him. Knowing Harper, he’d taken off. Anger burned deep inside him. He wasn’t done with the bastard. Pushing all of it away, Gray looked down. Sky’s cheeks were starting to flush with color once again. He could see her breathing slow and deep, something that would help her calm herself. Her arm was wrapped tightly around his waist, as if she were afraid he’d let go of her. Gray wouldn’t, but only time and being with her would teach Sky she wasn’t alone in this PTSD storm that would hit like lightning, out of nowhere, and send her reeling out of balance.
“Do you feel like telling me what happened?” Gray asked her, catching her glance.
Grimacing, Sky whispered, “I was down on my hands and knees, getting some dressings, when this terrible feeling washed over me. It felt frightening.” She nervously licked her lower lip. “I—I snapped my head up in the direction I felt the threat, and I saw this man.” Sky hesitated, touching her wrinkled brow. “H-he looked like my captor. And he leaned down, his fingers sliding into my hair, holding my head at an angle. And just like that, I was back there, Gray. I was in that terrible, little, suffocating room.”
Gray’s arm tightened protectively around her, as if he were trying to absorb some of her terror.
“He had no business touching and scaring you like that,” Gray growled.
“Wh-who was he?” She shivered, pressing her hand against her breast.
“Chuck Harper. He’s the owner of Ace Trucking,” Gray said with distaste. “He’s a well-known womanizer here in town, Sky.” He felt her tremble. If only he could take away her anxiety...
“I—I never met him before.” Sky closed her eyes for a moment. “I never want to meet him again. He looks like that Taliban soldier.”
Nodding, Gray rasped, “I’ll make sure he doesn’t ever bother you again, Sky. I promise.” His mouth went hard like his eyes. It would be the last time Harper ever approached and touched Sky. Ever.
Gray halted at the stoplight. “Want to wander around the square?” he asked her.
“Yes, it feels good just to walk.”
Because the walking equated with running away from the enemy. Gray knew that only too well, often waking from a nightmare drenched in sweat, his heart pounding like a sledgehammer in his chest. He’d get up, get dressed and go for a hard run along the main ranch road to the highway and back, a four-mile round-trip. Gray knew that exercise tamped down the high cortisol, and that was why so many who had PTSD were joggers or into hard, constant exercise. Walking was Sky’s way of running from the enemy in her mind and memories. Movement equated with freedom. Distance from the epicenter of the torture her brain would never forget.
They walked for nearly an hour until Gray felt Sky become relaxed once more. She was no longer pale. Her eyes looked normal now, although he could see the exhaustion in them. “Better?” he asked, halting in front of the drugstore once more.
She tucked her lower lip between her teeth for a moment and then gave a nod. “Better,” she agreed.
“Sit here. I’ll go pick up your medical supplies,” Gray told her. “They should be ready by now.”
It felt good to sit and hide on the bench. The sun felt warm and soothing on her hands and face. Sky avoided people’s curious gazes and all eye contact. To look at another human, with the exception of Gray right now, drained Sky. The hyperalert state would last another few hours, and Sky had learned to hide from the world as it happened.
Gray returned with a big bag in his left hand. He smiled down at her, offering her his hand. “Ready to go home?”
Home. The word had never sounded better than right now. Sky nodded and took his hand, grateful for his care, his silent understanding. As he tucked her beneath his arm, he guided her into the alley between the two buildings, heading for the public parking-lot area.
Climbing into the truck, Sky felt the heaviness of the experience begin to lift from her as Gray drove them out of town. She twisted her fingers together in her lap, frowning.
“What’s got your attention?” Gray wondered, turning onto the highway that led up a long, sloping hill. To his right was the elk refuge, a large fenced-in area where elk were fed during the winter so they wouldn’t die by the hundreds during the cold season.
“Um, just worried about what Iris will think. What others who saw me will think. The gossip that will fly around town...”
Gray reached out, gripping her hands and giving them a squeeze. “Iris will understand, no problem. And those other people? All I saw was worry and care and wanting to help you on their faces, Sky. Not judgment of you. Okay? They cared and they wanted to help you, but didn’t know how.”
His low voice flowed through her, quiet and strong. She opened her hands and held his. “I—I feel like such a failure, Gray.”
“What I saw was a warrior trying to contain her terror and fight it.”
Hanging her head, Sky closed her eyes, feeling so much o
f her pain dissolve. Gray’s hand tightened briefly over hers, silently feeding her hope. “I hate flashbacks,” she rattled, her voice strained.
“They rip open your soul,” he agreed, his voice rough. “It used to take me half a day to a full day to come out of one after it hit me.”
“It’s the same for me,” Sky whispered, lifting her head, looking at his strong, hard profile. There was nothing weak about Gray in any sense of the word. His body was hard, angular and tightly muscled. His whole demeanor was that of a true warrior. Even in civilian clothes, he couldn’t hide it in his walk, his posture or the way he was ever alert. There was a quiet, rock-solid confidence in him that was rare. And he stood out to Sky because of it.
“There are phases to it,” Gray agreed. “Right now you probably feel pretty naked and want to crawl into the nearest hole and protect yourself.”
Sky nodded, her throat aching with unshed tears.
“I’ll feed the wolf pups when we get home, so don’t worry about that. What I want you to do is go to your bedroom and lie down for a while. Doesn’t matter whether you sleep or not, Sky, just rest someplace quiet where you feel secure. All right?”
Gray cut her a quick glance. He could barely stand the bleak look he saw in her muddy blue eyes. All he wanted to do was curl up in that bed with her, tuck her along his long body and hold her tight until she fell asleep in his arms. Gray knew he could do that for Sky.
“Are you sure, Gray? It’s my turn to feed them.”
“I’m sure. I’ll take over the feedings until you tell me you’re ready to resume. It’s not a problem, so don’t give me that look.”
He forced a faint smile for her benefit. If nothing else, Sky could be counted on to be there to do the job she’d been assigned. That was just like a military vet: they could be counted on to carry the load assigned to them come hell or high water. And right now, he wanted to give Sky an out and not feel so damn guilty about it.
“Okay,” Sky whispered, clearing her throat. “Thank you. I’ll make it up, Gray. You aren’t always going to have to babysit me.”
He laughed. Gray shared a heated look with her. “Someday I want to mean a helluva lot more to you than just a babysitter.”
CHAPTER TWELVE
GRAY NEEDED TO talk with Sky. He’d kept busy helping the wranglers move the hundred-pound grain sacks from the truck to the barn after feeding the wolf pups earlier. By the time he got back to the house to check on Sky, it was 4:00 p.m. Had she lain down and tried to rest? He hoped so.
He moved into the quiet house, but didn’t immediately see Sky. As he went silently down the hall, he noticed that her door was open. Peering into the darkened room, he saw Sky sitting on the edge of the bed, leaning over, her face buried in her hands. His heart wrenched. He knocked softly on the doorjamb, not wanting to scare her out of her mind with a sharp knock.
“Hey,” he called softly, “want some company?” God knew he wanted to go to her without her permission, but Gray knew better. There were times when he was in this phase of the letdown, when the adrenaline deserted him, when he felt exhausted and wanted no one around.
Sky’s hands dropped from her face, and she twisted around. “Yes. Come on in...” Never had she wanted to see anyone more right now than she did him. As he approached, she saw concern glittering in his eyes. He rounded the bed.
The mattress dipped as he sat down, their knees barely grazing one another. Sky’s throat ached with tension. Gray’s hands were resting on his thighs and she sensed his controlled power. She picked up the scent of alfalfa hay around him along with perspiration and his male scent. A few bits of hay clung to his shirt.
“Were you out helping the wranglers in the barn?” she asked. How badly she wanted to surge into Gray’s embrace and let him hold her. She felt so shaky, so needy. She hadn’t been like this before her captivity. People leaned on her, not the other way around. Yet as she searched his hard face, it was alive with tenderness toward her. She liked Gray so much, and Sky had been running from admitting it, from her feelings toward him. Right now she needed his quiet steadiness, his understanding.
Gray brushed his shoulders. “Does it show?”
“A little...”
“How are you doing? Did you get any rest?”
Quirking her lips, Sky nodded. “I—uh, went to sleep. And I guess Harper triggered the damned stuff in me.” She wiped her face in frustration, turning away, ashamed of herself. Her voice cracked as she whispered unsteadily, “Gray, all I want to do is get better. I hate when things like this happen. On my way from the hospital, when I was coming home to my parents’ house, I lost it at a truck stop. There was a man who resembled one of my captors. I panicked,” she confided miserably. “I—I managed to get to the women’s bathroom, locked the stall door and I fell apart.”
To hell with it. Gray whispered her name and shifted, sliding his arms around her. She flowed into his arms, and that was when he knew Sky needed this. Needed comforting. She tucked her head beneath his jaw, her hair tickling his chin and cheek. Her arms moved around his waist and she clung tightly to him, face pressed against his chest, as if trying to hide. God, Gray knew what it was like.
“It’s going to be all right,” he muttered, kissing her hair, rubbing her back gently, trying to get her to relax. “You’ll get past this, Sky. You’ve come such a long way in such a short amount of time.” Gray tunneled his fingers through her hair, pushing the curtain of strands aside to see her pale face, her eyes tightly shut. It was her beautiful, lush mouth compressed that told Gray the amount of pain she was experiencing. “We take this a minute at a time, baby. Sometimes an hour at a time. You’re still in the coming-down phase from that scare with Harper. You know the drill.”
Sky barely nodded her head. How warm and strong Gray’s arms felt around her. She’d been so cold, her hands damp, and now the warm, hard, muscled strength of him surrounding her helped Sky fight the inner war. “I—I know,” she managed in a broken whisper. Gray’s heartbeat was slow and calming beneath her ear. She inhaled the dampness and sweat from his shirt. The faint fragrance of pine lingered, overlaid with his male scent, and Sky unconsciously inhaled it deep into her lungs. Dragging life into her, not death.
“I try so hard, Gray. This caught me so off guard. My attention was elsewhere, on getting the medical stuff, not thinking someone was going to stalk me. God, I felt like he was hunting me. I felt like a scared, trapped animal.”
“I know,” Gray whispered hoarsely into her hair, sliding his hand around her jaw, cupping her cheek. “I know.”
Sky couldn’t explain what happened next. She felt Gray ease her away, his hand framing her cheek and jaw, the warm calluses rough and yet, so comforting. She lifted her lashes and drowned in the brilliant green and gold of his eyes. He was so close...so close...and Sky leaned forward, wanting his mouth upon hers. It was instinctive, necessary to her, and her lashes swept downward as her lips barely grazed the hard line of his.
Heat shot through Gray like unexpected lightning as Sky leaned forward. He felt the soft, tentative question that hung between them as her lips touched his. He hadn’t expected this. Had wanted it, but he hadn’t even thought that Sky would want to kiss him as badly as he wanted to kiss her. Especially not now.
In those precious, heated moments spinning like scalding, bubbling heat between them as their lips met, Gray knew. He knew Sky wanted him as much as he wanted her. It was a shock to him, thinking it was only one-sided, that he wanted her on every possible level. Wanted Sky in his arms, wanted her mouth against his, wanted to be buried deep within her, wanted to give her pleasure and to take away the anguish he knew always lived within her.
More than anything, Gray wanted to give Sky a beautiful, momentary reprieve from the war that was always a breath away within her.
He groaned as her lips, so unsure, shyly brushed his mouth. His arms instan
tly tightened around her. He felt her hand slide up his shirt, his flesh reacting wildly to her tentative response. This was real. So damn real his chest tightened with erupting emotions. Her lips were so incredibly lush as he parted his, sliding against hers, silently letting her know it was all right, that he wanted to kiss her, too.
Somewhere in his exploding senses, Gray knew he had to let Sky take the lead. He couldn’t overwhelm her, couldn’t know what she wanted. She had to show him what she needed from him. His erection grew painful, pressing against the material of his Levi’s as she leaned into him, a soft moan vibrating in her slender throat. He slid his hand from her cheek and around the nape of her neck.
He felt Sky dissolve into his arms, surrender completely against him as he controlled his own animal-fierce need of her, man to woman. He hungrily inhaled her sweet scent, the silkiness of her hair brushing against his cheek, and he angled her more deeply into his arms, cradling her, his mouth leisurely exploring hers. He wanted to plunge his tongue into her mouth, slide his hand downward to caress her breast. But was that what Sky really wanted? Gray didn’t know and was old enough, wise enough, to put a steel band around those runaway testosterone caveman desires.
Her mouth was so uncertain, and he felt her unsureness. Gray was glad he didn’t barge in like a proverbial bull in a china shop, glad that he was monitoring all her signs and signals. For the first time in his life, as he felt her lips part, felt her breath moist against his flesh, felt their mouths mold and meld hotly with one another, Gray experienced an incredible rush of unparalleled joy. Sky’s breath was ragged. He could feel her heartbeat leaping against his chest, felt the swell of her breasts pressed against him.
His fingers itched to slide around her back, to envelop her curved, full breast, to feel her within his hand, feel her warmth and life. But Gray stopped himself. That wasn’t what Sky was wanting. This wasn’t about sex. It was about care and something else that was unexpectedly blossoming between them.
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