“I know,” James said softly, sliding his fingers through my hair. His gentle ministrations distracted me from the burning in my hands. All I wanted was to curl into his lap, but the most I could do was snuggle my head against his thigh.
August noticed the movement, small as it was, his eyes instantly hardening into a glare and his hands balling into fists in his lap. I inched my head away from James and August’s fingers unclenched. No one else seemed to notice. Not even James.
“I know,” James said again, his voice suddenly turning hard and sarcastic. “Jade is our most precious commodity.”
Of course James would see me as the precious commodity, not my blood. But August was right—I knew it too. Sometimes I felt my destiny involved nothing more than being a human pincushion, but the alternative, the starvation of an entire kingdom, was too horrible to stomach.
Pain twice a month was a far better choice than condemning my people to a slow, awful death by hunger. Starvation could turn even Edict-abiding people into crazed and desperate savages. Being reminded of that made me ashamed of my voiceless complaints.
I tried to sit up, but the world around me tilted so severely I collapsed back down. Luckily, James caught me before my head hit the hard ground.
“Will she be all right, Pearl?” James asked, not looking away from my eyes.
“Eventually,” my sister answered, not sounding entirely sure.
James’s face turned hopeful, ever the optimist. “Maybe she needs an extra week to heal.”
Pearl nodded. “That would help.”
August gave James a level stare and stood. “She’ll get the same two weeks as always.”
“Surely the kingdom can allow—” James began, but I touched his arm.
“August is right,” I said, watching my fiancé draw near. “I’ll be ready by then.”
The corner of August’s lips turned up in a grin, obviously smug that I had sided with him for once, then frowned as his eyes dropped to where my fingers still rested on James’s arm. “And tomorrow she’ll be my wife.” August bent and trailed one finger down my cheek, leaving a fissure of cold where he touched, marking his claim.
I couldn’t help myself—I flinched at the contact.
August noticed and grinned. “That’s right. This time tomorrow, I’ll be a married man. Won’t you wish me happy, brother?” August paused then cocked his head to the side, glancing toward my hand again “No? Oh, well. I have to meet with father. We have some security issues to go over before the wedding.” Without another word August turned and left.
We all stared until long after he was gone. James’s shoulders slumped as he absently began stroking my hair. His fingers beat back the frigidity of August’s lingering touch.
After tomorrow there would be no more warmth from James.
Pearl slammed her pile of herbs into her basket, her brown eyes alight with anger. “You’ve got to do something about this, James. They’re leaving her too weak. Soon she’ll be unable to leave her bed.”
James stared at me, looking as lost and hopeless as I felt. “I know.”
He was silent for a moment, thinking, but instead of sharing his thoughts with me he straightened.
“Maybe there’s something I can do.” James looked into my eyes, searching for something before nodding. And there it was—in the slant of his face, the sudden shine in his eyes—that trace of optimism that was so eternal about James. “I’ll see you soon, Jade.” He leaned forward and brushed his lips across my forehead. My breath caught at the sudden touch. “I’ll call for Stratton and Jackson to come fetch you.”
He gave me a tentative smile before hurrying from the room. Pearl watched him go, her eyes thoughtful and disapproving.
“He loves you as much as you love him.” She picked up her basket and stood.
I nodded. “I know.”
“It has to end.”
“I know.” I’d always known, but it didn’t matter. I couldn’t fight it. I never wanted to. But after the ceremony tomorrow I’d have to. If I had to choose between the people of Orea and James, I’d pick the kingdom, even though doing so would shatter my heart.
Pearl frowned. “Every time the two of you are together, you’re tempting fate. And you’ll need to be extra careful after your wedding. All it takes is one wrong word—one careless action—to loosen the edict medallion.”
Magic connected every Orean to the edict medallion that hung around their necks. That same spell would release the medallion if one of the kingdom’s three sacred laws were broken—purity of the body, loyalty to the kingdom, and respect for human life—and the punishment was death. Loving James the way I did after my wedding would break two Edicts, causing the medallion to fall, the pure white stone turning red.
I lifted my chin in resolve. “It won’t come to that.”
It was time to accept my destiny. The kingdom needed me. If I didn’t give up James, we’d break the Edicts and our lives would be forfeit. We needed to live; the kingdom needed him almost as much as it needed me. I ignored the way my heart throbbed in tune with my now-scarred cuts as my fingers stroked the chain that held my edict medallion.
Tomorrow I would let James go. Instead of my love, I’d choose to give the people thriving crops and full bellies. I could only hope it’d be enough to warm me through the eternal frost of a life as August’s wife.
Chapter 2
I felt better after a large breakfast and a Pearl-ordered nap. Strong enough to get out of bed. Judging by the light coming through the windows, it was early in the day, perhaps around eleven. Still time to try to make one last dream a reality. I pushed back the thick blanket and got to my feet, grabbing the chair beside the bed, wincing at the tenderness in my palms. More yellow dots flared in front of my eyes as darkness crept into the corner of my vision. I held still, taking slow, measured breaths until I felt steady again.
I stumbled through the door and straight into the barricade of my two favorite guards, Stratton and Jackson.
“What are you doing up?” Stratton asked, untangling my hair from his bushy beard.
I straightened my skirt. “I need to get out of my room.”
“Pearl said you need to rest.” Jackson waved toward my room. “You aren’t strong enough to be on your feet.”
“If I wait until I’m well, I’ll never leave my bed.”
They exchanged a glance that said they agreed with me, even if they didn’t like it.
Taking that for their consent, I walked around them. It only took a moment for them to follow behind me. I waved to the various servants as I passed, focusing on their faces to make them out clearly through my slight dizziness.
Garlands of roses in the kingdom’s colors were being hung throughout the castle in preparation for tomorrow’s wedding. When we walked past the elaborate gold-plated doors where the Guardians studied their spells, I paused, then pushed the doors open.
Something inside me stirred as I stood on the threshold. The room smelled of spices and herbs, of magic. I stepped inside, leaving my guards at the doors, stabilizing myself on the long, wooden table in the middle of the room.
I pushed off the table and wandered around, my fingers trailing across the bookshelves that lined the walls. The small metal bowl used for spells rang out as I flicked it when I passed.
The door closed behind me and I spun around, nearly tripping over my skirts to see a frowning Pearl watching me. She sat down on the wooden bench. “I knew you’d be here. If only everyone practiced as hard as you do.”
“If only I had magic.” The bottles of oils and incantation ingredients rattled as my hand smoothed over them.
I stopped short and retreated the way I’d come to avoid the glass case on the far side of the room where the sacred Tome of Incantations was displayed. I purposefully avoided that enormous book. Unable to cast even the most basic spells, I was forbidden to touch it. If I moved too close, the temptation to sneak it out of its protective glass and read it would prove too great to resis
t. I didn’t want to break that law. Again. The first two times I hadn’t even known it was a law.
I finally picked up a worn copy of beginner spells, the ones they taught to the youngest Guardians, and reviewed the words while Pearl placed the candle in its usual spot. With perfect enunciation I spoke the spell aloud and waited for the flame to appear. The wick didn’t even glow. I repeated the phrases over and over, my words growing gravelly in my parched throat. By the time I looked up again, the shadows in the room had changed, and Pearl had buried herself in a book. Sweat beaded my upper lip and a headache burrowed in my skull, but the candle remained dark. I couldn’t do it. I slumped back and dropped my chin to my chest. Something inside of me, the part that believed in miracles, withered like a leaf on a vine.
I closed the book and knew I’d never open it again.
The only magic inside me was found in my blood. The only thing I could do was produce a female heir whose own descendant—generations from now—would be the next Emmía. Unlike Dawn, who’d wielded magic as powerful as the strongest Guardian, I was like the other Emmía’s—Sophia, Vanessa, Sara, Leah, and even Elizabeth—who were magically inept.
“Taking a break?” Pearl asked with a yawn, startling me back to the moment.
“No. I’ve given up.” I could taste the bitterness of stale, unrealized dreams on my tongue.
Pearl came over and put the candle away. “Don’t despair, Jade. Some Guardians have manifested later, haven’t they?”
It felt foolish to cling to hope anymore. The oldest recorded were fifteen. “I’m seventeen, an old maid in the world of magic.” Like a young girl passed over at a dance, magic snubbed me, not deeming me worthy of its attention. This neglect aged me in a way time couldn’t, crushing the last of my youthful yearnings for a hopeful future. If only I could be as optimistic as James.
“You were able to do that one spell with your blood a few weeks ago,” Pearl said.
“I’m only good for my blood.” The rigid scars on my palms seemed to mock me.
“Don’t talk that way. We love you.” Pearl gave me a quick hug. “Mama will lift your spirits when she and father get back.”
My mother had been called away to a remote village on the edge of the kingdom. An epidemic had broken out, and her healer magic had been needed to treat the fevers running wild there. Pearl usually assisted her, but because my father and brothers were away training with the military, my sister had volunteered to stay with me.
After a single knock on the door, James walked in. The sight of him and his ever-ready smile lightened my heart.
“I thought I might find you here,” he said with a knowing glint in his eye.
“I needed to try one more time.”
“Any luck?”
I shook my head and he patted my hand. “You’ll get it eventually.”
I didn’t bother to protest.
“I know you have many things to do before the wedding.” His voice cracked on the last word. “But . . . well, I was wondering if you’d like to come sailing with me.”
“Sailing? On the water? In a boat?” I asked in a rush. I’d never been on a ship before. It’d been considered too dangerous.
James broke out into a full smile. “Yes, boats and water are usually involved in sailing.”
“I would love . . . wait. Is it safe?”
He puffed out his chest. “I can protect you. I’ve trained with the Hounds, you know. Dorian said I was a skilled tracker. I know almost all their secrets.”
I smiled at his wink.
“I know I’d be safe with you. But what would your father and brother say if they knew you were risking the kingdom’s precious commodity?”
James’s smile collapsed. “I don’t plan on telling them.”
“Well . . .” I let myself imagine being with him for a second before my obligation to the kingdom pulled me back to reality. “I can’t leave. It isn’t allowed.”
He put his hand on my cheek and I tilted my face into it. Pearl cleared her throat and looked away from our intimate moment.
“It’s our last chance to be alone,” James said softly. “Before . . . please leave with me. Give me this one last thing?”
I glanced at my sister.
She opened her mouth then shrugged. “You don’t need my permission.” Her eyes narrowed. “But be careful. You are the king’s—I mean, kingdom’s precious commodity.” She rolled her eyes at the last word.
I kissed the top of her head. “Thank you.”
James’s smile seemed brighter than the sun as he helped me to my feet.
“Our first adventure, Jade,” James said. “Just like in the stories I read to you.”
James’s grin was infectious and I noticed even Pearl was smiling.
And for the first time in years, I felt myself give into James’s optimism. Today I wasn’t bound by destiny—for the first time ever, the day would be whatever I wanted it to be. An adventure with the man I loved.
Tomorrow I’d become resigned to my fate.
Chapter 3
The docks smelled of fish and ocean spray, and I paused for a moment to breathe in the cool, spring afternoon. The briny air coating my tongue tasted like freedom. The walk from the castle to the docks took longer than normal, my strength diminished since the blood-letting. Despite being on an adventure with James—the kind we’d always dreamed of—all I wanted was a chair and a moment to rest.
My eyes wandered around the bustling crowd, watching the various mongers call out their prices, competing with the other stalls. James lifted me over a pile of fish nets strewn across the dock.
Talk of the wedding carried to my ears and I let the hood of my cloak slide low to conceal my identity. Not that most people would recognize my face. I’d been kept separate from the general population for most of my life, but everyone knew that my violet eyes could only belong to the Emmía.
“The Emmía’s right lucky to be marrying ‘is ‘ighness,” a weathered old woman said, severing the head of a fish from its body. “He’s right ‘ansome, ‘ee is.”
“I once caught a glimpse o’ the Emmía,” the man next to her said, wiping his knife on the leg of his trousers. “I’d say ee’s the lucky un. I wouldn’t cut out me eyes at seeing that perty face first thing in the morning,”
James grinned at my flushing cheeks.
“It seems our male citizens are the smarter of the two sexes.” James grabbed my hand and pulled me down the dock to the boarding plank of his personal ship, the Iris.
At talk of the wedding, my impulsive decision to sail away wavered like a burning candle in a stiff breeze. But the wink James gave me urged me onto the Iris. For this one day, I’d pretend to forget. One day to myself, to indulge in this adventure. I deserved—no, I needed—one day to say goodbye to James . . . forever.
James escorted me below deck to a private room sparsely decorated with a table, chair, and bed, all nailed to the floor. As much as I wanted to watch as we left port, we didn’t want spies telling August or the king about our trip.
Someone knocked, and James opened the door to take a steaming cup from a crewmember to hand to me. “Here—your favorite.”
I took the cup and sat on the bed, sipping at the mint tea until my body felt warm and relaxed.
James sat next to me on the bed, sudden guilt washing over his features. “Oh Jade. You look exhausted. I knew they took too much blood. I shouldn’t have let you walk here—what was I thinking?” James caressed my face, the gesture tender, and my breath caught. We’d never been alone like this before. “Maybe we should go back . . .”
“No,” I said. His hand was still on my face and I refused to let go of this moment. “I’m okay. Just tired.”
“I can send for Pearl—”
“No. Please. I want this. I’ll just rest for a moment and it will be okay.”
“Are you sure?”
I nodded and he pulled his hand away. I instantly regretted my movement, missing his touch.
J
ames nodded, more to himself. “I’ll wake you when we’re out at sea. You won’t want to miss it.” His eyes lightened with enthusiasm. “A real proper adventure; you’ll see.”
I rested my head on the pillow. The velvet blanket felt smooth on my skin and I rubbed my face against it. I didn’t want to miss anything about my first time at sea, but my eyelids were already too heavy. Walking here had taken a lot out of me. I should have taken the carriage like James had suggested, but I wanted to relish the feeling of traveling without guards. The walk—well, I’d been asking too much of my body . . .
But I only had this one day.
I was on the verge of a dream when James kissed my forehead before leaving me alone.
The entire room lurched. I tumbled off the bunk and landed on the wooden floor, jarring my shoulder as the air around me rippled with a silver burst of light and the bed and walls shook. With a wince I sat up, heart pounding, bracing myself, waiting for another wave to rock the ship, but none came. How strange. The sea had looked calm back at the dock, and there had been no storm clouds above us. Where had the flash of lightning come from?
I got to my feet, peeked out the round window, and saw nothing but the blue sea for miles. I jumped at a sudden flapping behind me. A bird swept in from the hallway, its wings beating a frantic rhythm around the room, my heart matching its wild pace. It lunged at the window, smacking against the window’s glass. As it circled the room again, I opened the window and the bird swept out, rising into the sky. I squinted after it until it flew out of my range of sight.
My skin prickled with the strangeness of it all. Where had it come from? I headed topside for a better look.
I stepped onto the deck, half expecting the strange light and ship’s shaking to be the topic of conversation, but no one seemed to have noticed. Every man labored at their tasks, tightening riggings, coiling rope, or scrubbing the deck.
I shielded my eyes from the sun and glanced around, looking for James. The moment I saw his face, my curiosity over the lightning faded away. It was probably only a remnant of a lingering dream.
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