by Alisha Basso
Still, he couldn't rid of the feeling that someone watched him.
***
He followed Jessie outside.
"Why can't you hear me, you stupid idiot? You know how much easier it would be if you'd listen. Then, you never listened to me when I was alive, so why would you now?" Todd sat down on the cement steps and leaned back against a cement wall. Only four feet separated him from his brother, though it might as well have been four miles.
Cassie walked out the front door of the school directly in front of Todd and Jessie.
"Hi, Cassie." Todd waved at her, happy to have someone to talk to. A big grin crossed her face as she came toward him. Cassie came to a sudden halt and Todd understood that she'd now seen him…and Jessie. Her smile came again, this time warm and intimate and directed his way. Todd's heart warmed. "Hi, kiddo. Are you meeting my brother?"
Her smile brightened and she gave an almost imperceptible nod and turned a bit. "Hi, Jessie. Are you ready?"
"Yeah. I wasn't sure if you'd stood me up."
"Stood you up?" Geesh. He doesn't know you at all, does he?" Todd grinned at the dirty look Cassie shot him.
She reached down and caught Jessie's arm, tugging him upright. "If you knew me better you'd know that wouldn't happen. At least, not unless it was an emergency."
Jessie wrapped an arm around her shoulders and headed down the stairs with her. Todd watched them walk off, laughing together. At the school gates, Cassie turned once to look behind her.
Todd waved. She beamed a smile at him, before walking away.
Todd had never felt so lonely. At the same time, a sense of rightness enveloped him. This was a good thing for Cassie. A sense of completeness hovered at his shoulder. It wasn't quite time yet, only now he knew that when the time was right, he'd be able to leave. Soon.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Cassie felt like the clock had turned backwards. Laughter and joy filled her heart and warmth filled her veins. Now if only she could stop sighing with happiness every few minutes. She had to sound like complete idiot.
Jessie was so funny. He was a lot like Todd, yet he was his own special self. She no longer accidentally saw Todd in his face. She knew Jessie well enough now to see him for who he was. Her heart no longer wanted to see Todd in Jessie.
She glanced upward and smiled. Jessie squeezed her arm. "Here we are."
Jessie tugged the door open and let Cassie go in first. At the reception area, Cassie asked, "Could we see Deputy Magnusson, please?"
"I don't know if he's in. I can go check. Please take a seat."
"Thanks. He should be expecting us." The woman nodded and left.
Cassie and Jessie wandered the small room. Cassie didn't want to sit down. She didn't want to stay very long. This should be a quick stop before dragging Jessie off to try coffee again.
Todd slipped into her mind. She grimaced. That had been too weird coming out of the school and seeing the two of them sitting together like that. Jessie'd had no idea. It had taken a lot of effort to avoid looking like a total moron in front of Jessie, without hurting Todd. This talking to empty air stuff was making her look like a nutcase. Then she remembered Kendra's comment and sighed. She didn't need any more comments like that.
An oak door opened on the side wall. Cassie turned to see Deputy Magnusson waiting for her. "Hi again, Cassie. You like to keep your word, I see. That's good. Come on into my office." His eyebrows raised as Jessie stepped up to her side. "You must be Todd's brother."
Jessie stepped forward. "Yes, sir." He held out his hand to shake. "I'm Jessie. Todd was my older brother."
"Come on in."
Once in the small office, Cassie and Jessie took seats. Cassie looked at the deputy. "Deputy, the Facebook issue has been solved. I'm sorry for disturbing you on that account."
"What was that about?"
"One of Todd's old girlfriends knew his account and password and used it to send messages from the dead. More for shock value than anything else."
"Malicious."
"Yes, only she was hurting, and lashed out."
The deputy pondered her face for a long moment before nodding. "Good, that's one issue resolved. I also found Todd's cell phone."
Cassie jumped to her feet. "Oh, that's excellent. Where was it?"
"It was dumped, lost, or dropped on a driveway across the road from where the accident took place." He opened the file on his desk, shuffling through the pages, obviously looking for something.
Tilting her head, Cassie had to consider that news for a moment. "At the old man's house?"
The deputy nodded. "Anyway, we searched the records and there's nothing that indicates another person connected with Todd that night, outside of his father, that is."
"We know his father called. He said he asked him to make a liquor store run." Cassie paused and shifted her gaze to Jessie. "The thing is, Todd wasn't old enough to buy booze, and so we don't know if he ever did. Or whether someone he knew bought it for him, and therefore could have been the last person to see him alive that night." She took another deep breath. This was it. "We wondered if you could talk to the staff on duty that night and see if they saw anything." The words just gushed out. "They might be able to identify Todd and who he was with."
The deputy sighed and leaned back.
"I know we're asking a lot. And that we have already asked a lot of you. Please. This one more thing. This one more conversation to make sure we haven't missed anything? Surely, it's important to know if the liquor store is selling to underage kids?" she wheedled. "Todd's cell phone didn't make it to the top of that hill on its own." Cassie leaned forward. "Please," she added, "He was a good kid and he deserves for us to try this one more thing."
The deputy jotted down something on a piece of paper. "You are a very persistent young lady."
She gave him her most winning smile. "I'm also a very loyal friend."
Deputy Magnusson glanced between their two hopeful faces, then sighed. "If I do this one last thing we put this to rest. Got it?"
In unison, they both cried, "Got it."
***
Jessie looked at Cassie once they made it back out to the sidewalk. "That went well."
"Yeah, I guess," she said in an uncertain voice. Cassie linked arms with him in a natural movement that made him smile. A special warmth unfurled inside.
Jessie frowned. What was bothering her now? "What's the matter? Don't you think he'll follow up on the liquor store?"
They started to walk toward the soda shop. "I'm sure he will try." Cassie kicked a rock off the sidewalk. "I'm just impatient. I want him to go now, and I want to be there so I can hear the answers and know the right questions were asked."
"You have to let him do his job, Cassie. He knows how to do this better than you do."
"I know that." Cassie pushed the button to cross the intersection. "I just want this over with."
The light changed and she stepped onto the road. Just as they reached the other side, Jessie's phone went off. Fishing it out of his pocket, he answered his mom's call. "Hi. I already picked up the papers." He glanced down at Cassie. "Dad? What about him? He's probably just sleeping off another bender."
"I don't think so. I have a horrible feeling, honey. I can't reach him. I've been trying all day. I can't get away from work. Would you mind checking on him?"
Oh no. Why today? Why now? Jessie glanced around, getting his bearings. "I guess I can. I'm not that far away."
"Please call me back when you get there."
"Yeah." Jessie rolled his eye at Cassie, who stood watching, one eyebrow raised as though she was wondering what was happening.
"I can do that."
Jessie tucked the phone back in his pocket. "Sorry, Cassie, I have to cancel out on coffee. I have to go and check on my dad. Mom's been trying to reach him all day and she's worried."
Understanding flitted across her face. "I can see how he'd be worrisome. Come on, let's go."
"You don't have to come with m
e. He's not much fun to be around." Except Jessie didn't want to break off his time with her.
"Maybe not, but I'm not going to avoid him because of that. Let's get our coffees to go. We'll stop by his house, then go on to mine for a bit, later."
Jessie grinned. "Perfect."
***
Adam's truck was parked at an angle in the driveway. The curtains were closed like they'd been every other time she passed by since the accident. The front grass stood a foot high. A horrible deserted feeling permeated the house.
Cassie shivered. "He's really not doing well since losing Todd, is he?"
Jessie glanced at her quickly. "No, he's not. I've never seen him as bad as he's been this last couple of weeks."
"The death of a child will do that, I suppose." Especially given a pre-existing weakness like alcoholism, only Jessie didn't need to be reminded of that. She studied Jessie's face. He hadn't had it easy these last weeks, either, dealing with his weak mother, weaker father and the loss of his brother. He was holding up well, turning into a man in front of her. The younger brother was now fast becoming the head of the family.
She'd been more than willing to lean on him herself.
Jessie strode up to the front door and rang the doorbell. The two waited. There was no sound from inside.
"Try again? Push the door open and call out?" Cassie suggested.
"The last time I went in without his knowledge he blew up at me, accusing me of all kinds of things, including stealing. So I don't want to go in without his permission, yet if there's something wrong with him…" Jessie let his voice trail off as he pounded harder on the door, only to have it fall open under his fist.
"Well, we don't have to worry about it being locked."
"He never locks it." As if gathering his courage, Jessie stood for a quick moment, then pushed the door wide open and walked in. Cassie followed. No lights brightened the dim room and no amount of shadows could hide the dismal sight. Cassie winced at the bottles, garbage and the stench… She almost gagged.
"What is that smell?"
"Booze, piss and rotting garbage, probably."
Piss? Cassie shot him a horrified look. Jessie grinned back. "No, I don't think he's been peeing everywhere, but you know drunks. They reek like they haven't showered in a week or more."
"Nice imagery." Drew memories of the homeless littering the streets, from the one time they'd gone to the seedy part of Portland. Not pleasant – for those winos or for her family.
Jessie stepped into the room to peer over the couch. From his behavior, Cassie knew that's where he'd expected to find his dad. He frowned. "Not there." He walked around the room while Cassie waited at the entrance.
Raising her eyebrows at him, she asked, "Check the rest of the house out, I presume?"
"I guess."
Cassie had to laugh. He sounded like he'd been asked to ballet dance in front of the school. "Surely it's not that bad. I was here lots before, you know."
"Yeah, however that's when Todd was alive."
Cassie frowned, reminding herself that this was Jessie not Todd. "Did Todd do the cleaning? Was your dad always this bad?"
"The house was always messy, just nothing like this. I don't know what Todd did or didn't do. Just more of the information I'll never know. His room is clean though."
"Yeah, it always was."
She almost missed the curious look that crossed Jessie's face. "What?" She frowned as he studied her face. "I hung out there a lot. It's not like we could be around your dad. He was always drunk then, too."
Shaking his head, Jessie said, "My mom would never let me have a girl in my room. She'd be too worried we were doing things we shouldn't be."
"Well, that wasn't an issue with us. Inevitably, I ended up helping Todd pull his homework together." Cassie paused and pursed her lips. "On the other hand, my mother would freak if she'd found us in my bedroom."
"If…?"
"Of course we spent time in my room. Again, it wasn't like that with us." Cassie shrugged. "So upstairs to check the bedrooms or kitchen and backyard?"
"Kitchen first." He led the way.
The kitchen was a mess, maybe less of a mess than the living room, although Cassie wouldn't want to bet on that. She picked her way through the small room to the back door and opened it. The backyard was empty, too.
"Come on, let's check upstairs." Jessie ran up the stairs two at a time.
Cassie raced up behind him. Todd's door at the top of the stairs was closed. Jessie headed to his dad's room. Cassie looked inside curiously. This was cleaner than the rest of the house, though the smell was rank. Clothes littered the floor and the bed looked as though it hadn't been changed in a year. She pinched her nostrils.
"He's not here, either." Jessie shook his head before turning back her way.
Cassie held up her hand. "Check the bathrooms and the closets."
He gave her a weird look, but did as she asked. "You don't think he'd have done something stupid, do you?"
"What's stupid? The man's an alcoholic who just lost his son. What happens if he can no longer drown his sorrows and find forgetfulness?"
Jessie's face thinned, his jaw firmed. Without a word he headed to Todd's bedroom, throwing the door open wide.
"Dad!" Jessie ran to the bed. Cassie ran up on the side.
Adam didn't look so good. His skin color was grayish and blotchy. From a drunk gone bad, or tears? She didn't know. She'd seen him sober and well turned out, and she'd seen him flat out drunk. Today he looked so much worse.
"Is he passed out?" Cassie hovered.
"Hell, if I know." There was a half empty bottle on the bed, and the smell of bourbon filled the small room.
Cassie watched as Jessie laid two fingers on his dad's neck to check for a pulse.
"He's alive and he's breathing."
"Sleeping off a binge?"
"I don't know. He doesn't look right.
"No, he doesn't. Try to wake him up." Cassie pulled out her phone as she watched Jessie shake his father. Adam's head wobbled with the movement, totally limp. "He's not asleep." As she cast an eye around the bed, she spotted a large bottle of sleeping pills and snatched it up.
It was empty.
***
Todd studied his father's pale face and shook his head. Now why would he do a stupid thing like that?
Cassie phoned for help and Jessie tried hitting his father – openhanded, to wake him up.
Todd, watching from the foot of the bed, wished he could have slapped his old man back to his senses a long time ago.
He watched Jessie's face as pain and horror swept away the anger, until his features settled into fear. His brother did care. If his father survived, maybe they could build something.
Adam needed to have a son around. He couldn't be trusted to do much on his own. Kind of like a big baby, still needing a nursemaid. His mother had filled that role until the drinking had become too much. Todd had grown into the role, only his dad had already been too far gone at that point.
Staring at his father, images in Todd's memory stirred. His father yelling at him and arguing. About what? Something stupid, knowing him. The two of them had some royal battles. Lately about his drinking and Todd's friends. Normal kid stuff.
Then… This one had been different.
Todd was driving and could hear yelling and screaming going on beside him. The vehicle had careened over the cliff. Todd's panicked attempts to…what? The frustrating memory eluded him. It just slipped away. Gone. Damn it. He stared down at his clenched fists. He was tired of this. So close and yet not quite there, in so many ways.
Sirens sounded in the distance, bringing Todd's attention back to the room. Cassie rushed out, then raced back in ahead of two men and a mess of equipment. The men dove at Adam and set about trying to save him. Todd watched before turning to speak with Cassie.
She was wrapped in Jessie's arms, her face buried against his chest. Cassie hadn't seen him. For the first time, she was more wrapped up i
n her world than his. His smile slipped. He knew that was the way it should be.
He understood something momentous was going on here. Some of his memories were filling in. When they did, he'd be able to leave. He knew that now.
The memory was that close, he could almost touch it. He hadn't wanted to leave his dad and Cassie.
Now it looked like Cassie would be just fine. Honestly, Todd was struggling a bit with that. Yet it did feel right.
But what about his dad?
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Deputy Magnusson walked into the liquor store at Belten Corner, the only liquor store close enough for Todd to have bought alcohol that night. He'd already called to find out when the same staff would be on duty. Luckily two were working now. Deciding it was time to put an end to this, he'd picked up and driven right over. Entering, he scanned the interior. Only a couple of shoppers browsed the aisles. He headed for the manager.
"Hi, Deputy Magnusson. Stephen Sanders, at your service." The two men shook hands. "I figured it would be better to give you my office. I'll bring the two men in here." He headed toward the door, tossing back, "I'll get Jim Benson first."
Gerome glanced around the small space – or rather the tiny space. There were, however, two chairs. He sat down in one and brought out his notebook, rummaging on the top of the desk for a pencil. A young, clean-cut male knocked on the doorframe.
"Deputy, I understand you have a couple of questions."
"Yes, Mr. Benson, please sit down. Did you work the evening shift two Friday's ago? It was May…"
"Doesn't matter what date it was. I always work on Fridays; so, yes."
Glancing up from his notebook, Gerome pursed his lips and nodded. "Good. We're looking to see if you remember Todd Spence, a young man who may have come in looking to buy alcohol."
"I know Todd. Man, is that what this is about? Am I in trouble? I probably should have handled it different, only Todd was my friend." He shrugged in defeat. "Yes, Todd was here. I can't sell to him because he's underage. He hasn't tried that in over a year. Only his dad was here, too, drunk and disorderly, as usual. I suppose, technically, Todd did buy the booze, his dad was too inebriated to get the money out or hand it over. Todd handled the transaction."
