by Jaye Wells
“You mean like the protests against Lifeblood and Sun Shield?” I asked.
He nodded impatiently.
“They’re totally against everything I stand for,” I explained. “They make us forget what separates us from humans.”
“But I still don’t get how they go against what you stand for. All you have said is that we were created by Diana for some purpose. If you don’t know that purpose, how can you be sure our advancements are wrong?”
I looked at him for a moment, totally unsure how to respond. No one had ever asked me that before, and frankly it threw me for a loop.
“Because,” I said, stalling as my brain scrambled to come up with a good reason.
Callum laughed. “Because? That’s compelling.”
“What do you want me to say? They just are.”
“I find it funny that you’ve been fighting against everything my family and your father have been working for without any evidence it goes against some master plan.”
“Callum, that’s the difference between us. You want logical explanations for everything. Me? I believe in faith.”
“I have faith that you’re wrong. Does that count?”
I gritted my teeth. We had actually been having a decent time, and I didn’t want to spoil the relaxing mood by starting another fight.
“I guess we’re going to have to agree to disagree,” I said finally.
He blinked. “No arguments?”
“Nope,” I said casually, finishing off my wine.
“Huh. You surprise me, Gabby,” he said with a grin.
Okay, that had to stop.
“Don’t call me that.”
“But why? It’s your name. I heard your father say it.”
“Look, I stopped going by my birth name a century ago. Only my father calls me Gabriella, and no one calls me Gabby.”
“Why did you change your name?”
“When my father took over the Brethren Council, he kept trying to get me to buy into the bullshit he was selling the members of the sect. Changing my name was an act of protest.”
“But why ‘Raven’? It’s a little cliché don’t you think?”
“But that’s exactly why I chose it. When I changed my name, I became a crusader for preserving the old ways. I needed a name that reflected that.”
“Interesting. So you’re saying that the whole Gothic persona was an act?”
I sighed impatiently. “No, Callum, it’s not an act. It was more like I took things to an extreme. It is still me, but exaggerated to make a point.”
“You mean it was still you.”
“What?”
“You said, ‘it is,’ but you don’t look like the stereotypical vampire you see in movies anymore.”
I clenched my teeth at the reminder of the makeover from hell.
“Let’s make one thing perfectly clear, shall we?” I asked.
He nodded.
“You can change how I look and what I eat, but I’m still me. I won’t let you or anyone take away who I am. Got it?”
He fell silent for a moment. I think I threw him off. It was a good feeling.
“Who are you?” he asked quietly.
I blinked, not quite understanding his question.
“I’m me,” I said with a shrug.
“But who are you? You spout all this BS about your beliefs, but from what I’ve seen you have built your entire life around rebelling against your father.”
“That’s not true,” I said. His words pissed me off. Everyone thought they had me all figured out. But they didn’t. I had layers. Like an onion.
“Tell me one thing you’ve done in the last decade that was somehow not related to your father,” Callum challenged.
I thought about that for a moment. Surely there was something I’d done just for me. When nothing came to mind, I squirmed in my seat. Callum was wrong, but I’d be damned if I could think of anything to prove it. I couldn’t let him know that, though.
“Screw you. I don’t have to explain myself to you.”
“A little defensive aren’t we?”
I wanted to smack that smug smile from his face.
“I’m just sick to death of everyone thinking they know what’s best for me,” I said. “Isn’t it enough that I’m here, and I’m going through this ridiculous twelve-step program?”
“It’s enough if you’re serious about it. But frankly, sometimes I wonder if you understand how serious your situation is. Do you want to be exiled?”
I leaned forward and looked into his eyes. “Callum, I would rather stake myself than live for two hundred years in isolation. If you or anyone else think I don’t understand what will happen if I don’t pass this test, you’re wrong. Dead wrong.”
He nodded as if satisfied with my response. I tamped down the voice in my head that reminded me of my email that afternoon. The council would put me on its most wanted list if I ran away. If they caught me, I wouldn’t be exiled. I’d be banished. Forever.
I knew that, and yet as I looked at the man across from me I felt fear. Not fear of banishment, but fear that he might know me better than I wanted to admit.
“Like I said, you’re doing pretty well,” Callum said, breaking into my thoughts. “Just don’t screw it up.”
I laughed. “Thanks for the vote of confidence.”
“You’re welcome,” he said, showing his dimples.
Uncomfortable with the warm feeling his smile caused, I looked down and realized that I had polished off the steak in record time. Callum’s plate was clean too. The waiter returned, and Callum took care of the check.
“Thanks for the meal. It was delicious,” I said.
“No problem.”
An awkward silence ensued. I wasn’t really ready to go home, but I didn’t want to ask him if we could go somewhere else. After all, he was just doing this as a favor. He was probably anxious to be rid of me.
“So, you want to continue our conversation in the bar?”
I blinked. That was the last thing I expected him to say.
“Sure, I guess,” I said, not wanting to convey my relief.
We didn’t say much as we left the room and headed back downstairs to the bar area. But I was feeling pretty relaxed after the meal and the wine. Until I saw Logan and Sydney sitting not ten feet away.
“Shit,” I mumbled under my breath.
Callum didn’t hear me because he was too busy calling out to his brother. Logan smiled when he saw Callum, but it faded into a frown when he saw me.
I fell back behind Callum as he led the way to the table where they sat.
“Hey, bro. Syd,” he said, leaning down to give his future sister-in-law a hug.
“Callum, what are you doing here?” Sydney asked. She hadn’t seen me yet.
Callum reached behind him and pulled me forward. “Raven and I were having dinner.”
Syd’s mouth fell open when she saw me.
“Raven! Oh my gosh, I almost didn’t recognize you. You look amazing!”
“Thanks,” I mumbled, embarrassed that her exclamation had several other diners looking at me. I had almost forgotten about the makeover. I wasn’t thrilled by the reminder.
“I thought after a day being subjected to Jorge she needed to get out of the house tonight,” Callum said.
I looked at him in shock. He could have easily told them Jorge talked him into taking me out.
“What are you two up to?” Callum asked, not noticing my look.
“Nothing special. Just finished dinner,” Sydney said.
I noticed that the pair seemed like complete opposites. Where Sydney was friendly and talkative, Logan sat there with a scowl, saying nothing.
“We’re headed to the bar. Care to join us?” Callum asked.
“Actually . . .” Logan began, only to be cut off by his fiancée.
“We’d love to,” Syd said with a big smile.
I wasn’t much on feminine intuition, but something told me Sydney was trying to play peacemak
er. Logan was still mad at Callum for his part in bringing me back here. She probably thought getting them to relax over a couple of drinks might ease the tension.
I just wanted to leave. The last thing I needed was to have Mr. Grumpy Pants scowling at me all night.
“Great, shall we?” Callum said, putting a hand on my back to guide me toward the bar. I hesitated, trying to think of a way to get out of this. I glanced up at Callum, and he gave me a look that clearly stated I had no choice in the matter.
Reluctantly I started moving. Sydney fell in next to me, chattering away with questions about the makeover.
Girl talk. Gag.
Behind us, Callum tried to make chitchat with his brother only to receive monosyllabic responses.
I was officially on the double date from hell.
Chapter Eleven
The bar sat toward the back of the house. Lined with bookcases, it obviously had served as a library when it was still a residence. The bar itself was made of rich mahogany with shiny brass accents. French doors opened onto a patio, which was currently empty due to the chilly autumn weather.
We chose a table toward the back, away from the few other patrons. Across the room, a cheerful fire crackled. The room smelled of wood smoke and scotch.
Logan held out Sydney’s chair. She smiled at her fiancé, her teeth flashing white in the dim room. Callum tried to pull out my chair too, but my scowl made him back off. I was in no mood for fake gallantry. I wanted a drink and a cigarette.
While we waited for a waiter, I grabbed a smoke from my purse. I was about to light up when Logan decided to comment.
“That’s a disgusting habit.”
I paused, my unlit lighter poised before the cigarette in my lips. Deliberately, I flicked it to life and took my time inhaling my first drag. Then I blew the smoke in his direction.
He coughed and swatted the smoke away from his face. “Do you mind?”
“No, I don’t mind at all.”
“I see that despite your new look, you’re still a bitch in sheep’s clothing.”
Leaning forward, I pointed my cigarette at him. “And don’t you forget it, asshole.”
He started to lean forward, menace clear in his movements, but Sydney put a hand on his arm to stop him.
“So, Raven, tell us how your work is going at the blood bank,” Sydney said, trying to play peacemaker again.
I took another drag and exhaled before answering. Where was the waiter anyway?
“It’s okay, I guess. They’ve got free cookies.”
Syd chuckled, but Logan continued to look as if he’d like to ram the cigarette down my throat. Callum signaled for the waiter.
“She’s doing pretty well,” Callum said.
Before I could react to his public support, the guy arrived to take our orders.
Syd asked for a white wine spritzer. The men ordered scotches, neat. I ordered a shot of tequila.
No one commented at my choice of beverage, but Syd raised her eyebrows. Callum chuckled. Logan’s scowl deepened.
“Logan, how’s the Lifeblood roll out coming along?” Callum asked.
“It’s fine,” Logan responded.
Syd shifted uneasily in her seat, clearly wanting to start the healing between the brothers.
“Callum, don’t listen to him. It’s going great,” she said, smiling at her betrothed. “He even altered the formula for me so it tastes like chocolate milk instead of blood.”
“What?” I asked, nearly choking on my last drag.
“Oh, it’s silly, I know. But it’s not like it’s easy to get used to the idea of drinking blood, or at least something that tastes like blood.”
I guessed she had a point. Since I was raised with the stuff, it was natural to me. But I guess a mortal might have trouble with it.
“When do I get a case?” Callum asked.
“As long as she’s here, you won’t,” Logan said, crossing his arms.
“Logan, be reasonable,” Callum said, frowning.
“Reasonable? Explain to me how it’s reasonable to expect me to give it to her when she did everything in her power to ruin Lifeblood?”
I was just about sick of people talking about me like I wasn’t there. Unfortunately, the waiter arrived, preventing me from laying into Logan.
As I plotted my response, I licked my hand, poured the salt, and tossed back the shot. Then I slammed the glass on the table and sucked on the lime. My companions watched me quietly, obviously aware of my growing agitation.
I slowly wiped my mouth with the back of my hand. Then I focused on Logan’s face, making sure he was paying attention.
“I’ll tell you what. You can take Lifeblood and stick it up your ass.”
Sydney gasped, and Callum was dead silent as he waited to see what Logan would do. I sat back and took another drag.
Logan took a sip of his scotch and regarded me over the glass. The tension at our table was palpable. The mortals in the bar continued with their laughter and conversation, unaware that a group of vampires sat in their midst.
“Nice display,” Logan finally said. “But you and I both know that you’re going to end up exiled. Why not quit now?”
“Logan!” Sydney said. “That’s enough.”
Logan looked at Sydney, the muscle in his jaw working. “It’s true. The charade is ridiculous. I’m not wasting Lifeblood on her.”
“Logan, you’re being an asshole,” Callum said, stealing the words out of my mouth. “None of us have a choice in this. It’s the dictate of the council. Whether she fails or not, we have to do everything we can to rehabilitate her.”
Their words stung. It seemed everyone was just waiting for me to fail.
And hadn’t I sent an email to my minions that very day just in case I quit, thus fulfilling their expectations?
My pride took over. I wanted nothing more at that moment than to prove them wrong. Sure, it would mean many more weeks of pain-in-the-ass tasks and dealing with shit I didn’t think I deserved.
“You know what? I don’t need Lifeblood to succeed. I can continue living off the bagged blood.”
Callum cleared his throat and wouldn’t look at me. He was hiding something. I looked at Syd and Logan for a clue, but they looked as confused as I felt.
“Callum?” I said.
“What?” he said nonchalantly, still not looking at me.
“You’d better spill whatever you’re hiding over there,” I said. “You don’t want me to make a scene.”
He sighed and met my eyes. “Fine. I didn’t want to tell you this, but your father decided that you had to use Lifeblood exclusively, or he’d consider your rehabilitation failed. That’s why I’ve been pushing Logan to give us a few cases.”
I laughed humorlessly. “He knew Logan wouldn’t want me to have it, right?”
Callum nodded, his eyes sympathetic. “I’m sorry.”
“So, dear old dad wants me to fail, too, huh?”
“Raven,” Sydney said, her voice sympathetic.
“No, it’s fine. Whatever.”
Syd nudged Logan. They stared at each other for a few moments. I could tell they were mentally talking, or arguing if the glares were any indication. Finally Logan let out a long-suffering sigh.
“Fine,” he said almost petulantly. “I’ll send over a few cases tomorrow. But I still think it’s a waste.”
Callum nodded. “Thanks, man.”
Logan nodded back, and the two men shared a look. Obviously, the tension between them was lifting.
Syd leaned over and kissed Logan on the cheek. He smiled at her adoringly. He was totally whipped.
“Well that’s fan-fucking-tastic,” I said.
I knew I sounded like a bitch, but I didn’t know how to feel. I was confused that Callum seemed so earnest about getting the Lifeblood for me when he knew not getting it would mean I’d be out of his hair. Then there was the prospect of taking Lifeblood. I was still opposed to its very existence. Plus the freaking stuff was to blame f
or me being in this bind to begin with.
On the other hand, I still felt like I wanted to prove everyone wrong. And I figured if drinking Lifeblood would help me accomplish that, I could deal. It couldn’t be worse than cold bagged blood. Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t planning on turning into the poster girl for the Brethren lifestyle. I felt confident I could get through the next few months and still resume my subversive activities on the sly.
The lovebirds continued to make eyes at each other, and Callum ordered another round of drinks. They all ignored me, which was fine. I wanted to sulk anyway.
Today had been a crazy day. First, I went outside during daylight for the first time in my entire life. Second, there was the stupid kiss. Next, I had to undergo the makeover from hell. Then, I decided to throw my principals out the window in order to prove to my father and everyone else that I could become an upstanding member of polite vampire society. That I was actually going to commit myself to changing.
The others started to talk about bullshit I had no interest in. I ignored them and sipped on my second shot of tequila.
“. . . flowers?” Sydney said.
The table went silent. I looked up to see what was happening and saw that all three of them were looking at me.
“What?”
Syd laughed. “I asked you which flowers you’d pick for your wedding. Logan says red roses, but I think white are more elegant.”
I stared at her in confusion, wondering why the fuck she thought I had any opinion at all. Marriage was a mortal institution. Besides, I couldn’t imagine any guy I’d want to shackle myself to for eternity. But she looked like she really wanted me to back her up, so I threw her a bone.
“White, I guess,” I mumbled.
“Ha! See?” she said to Logan.
“Darling, if you want white, we’ll have white. All that matters is that we get married.”
As Syd proceeded to reward Logan with a kiss, I looked at Callum. He rolled his eyes, and I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing. I was glad I wasn’t the only one who wished those two would get a room.
“Thanks, Raven,” Syd said when she was done slobbering all over Logan. “It’s hard making the wedding plans without any help.”
“What about Jorge and Geraldine?” Callum asked.
