Clearing his throat, Stone pivoted away and passed the baby back to Troy. Johanna shook off the daze and looked at Hillary again.
The baby’s mother pulled out a box, untied the fat orange ribbon and pulled out... “A tiny rodeo buckle! How adorable.”
Hillary held up the tot-sized leather belt with a rodeo buckle, the leather crafted and studded with one of Amie’s originals. It was a one-of-a-kind design with a cartoon horse and baby cowboy engraved on the pewter oval.
Stone picked up the bag and tucked the box inside. “He’ll have to grow a bit for it to fit.”
“Thank you,” Hillary said, tracing the design with her finger. “This is fabulous. We’ll be sure to take a photo of him wearing it and playing with Gem.”
Troy held the baby in one arm like a seasoned dad, clapping Stone on the shoulder with his other hand. “Thank you again for thinking of us for Gem. He’s a great dog. And you’re welcome to visit him anytime.”
Stone nodded tightly. “Thank you for giving her a good home and easing my grandmother’s mind.”
Johanna’s heart ached all over again for Stone. No wonder he was having a tougher time hiding his feelings. If they’d still been a couple, she could have comforted him, even if all he would let her do was hold his hand.
She couldn’t help but be reminded of when he was about twenty-one or twenty-two and his favorite horse had gone lame. Even with the best vets money could bring, nothing could be done to save Jet. She’d found Stone grieving in the stable with his horse afterward. She’d just been a gangly teenager and hugging him would have been out of the question regardless. So she’d just sat beside him quietly, being there. He hadn’t asked her to leave, and she liked to think her presence had made things somewhat easier for him.
God knew, Stone would need someone now as he dealt with his grandmother’s illness, and he’d always made a point of being stoic, as if the problems rolled right off him. Mariah had been the most important person in his life, the only parental figure he’d had after his grandfather had passed away while Stone was still young.
Hillary smiled gently, tucking the belt back into the bag. “It’s our pleasure to have Gem as a part of our family. He will be T.J.’s best buddy and a treasured friend.” She patted Stone on the arm, seeming to understand that was as much tenderness as the man would accept right now. “The guest cabin is fully stocked with food and drinks, but please let us know if you need anything at all. Otherwise we’ll see you after breakfast to say goodbye before you leave.”
In the morning?
Johanna’s heart leaped to her throat. Of course it was time to call an end to the evening and go to the guesthouse. Resisting Stone had been difficult enough when occasionally crossing paths at the ranch. But tonight, with the memory of him cradling that tiny infant in his powerful arms?
She didn’t know how she would hold strong once the doors closed behind them.
Six
Johanna’s stomach tightened with each step closer to the guesthouse. A barn perched on a hill behind the Donavan’s main home had been converted into a guesthouse with soaring ceilings. One side had been removed and replaced with glass windows.
Tonight, she and Stone would sleep under the same roof together for the first time in seven months. They walked side-by-side silently, not touching. But the wind twined around them as if binding them with whispering bands of air carrying his scent mingling with hers.
The desire that still simmered between them was out in the open now. Discussed. Acknowledged. She’d told him no, and he’d respected that. But to be honest with herself, she wasn’t so certain she could hold out through tonight, much less through this whole week without succumbing to the temptation of one last fling. One more chance to lose herself in being with him. To immerse herself in total bliss. If only they didn’t have to face the morning.
Once the guesthouse door closed behind them, there would be no more delaying. And she was feeling all the more vulnerable after watching him hold the Donavan baby. The evening seemed to have been tailor-made to play with her emotions.
Stone opened the gate to the picket fence around the guesthouse. Cuddly Sterling, impish Pearl and loyal Ruby raced up to greet them, barking and sniffing their hands. Little Pearl’s head tipped to the side quizzically.
Crouching, Johanna scratched the cairn terrier’s head. “It’s as if she’s asking about Gem. I wish there was a way to keep them all together. I have to admit I’m going to miss that goof of a dog.”
“Life doesn’t always work out the way we’d hoped and we’re just left with doing the best we can.” Stone ruffled the Rottweiler’s ears, then the dachshund mix’s. “Thank goodness Mariah made sure all her dogs and cats were placed in good homes.”
Johanna glanced up through her eyelashes at Stone. His broad shoulders against the sentimental moonlight made for a mouth-watering silhouette. “You’re right. I’m just...feeling emotional about Mariah. I know it must be so much worse for you.”
He cricked his neck from side to side. “Let’s get through the week as best we can.”
“Of course, there’s satisfaction to be found in doing something tangible for Mariah.” She scooped up the dachshund. Seven-year-old Sterling cuddled closer as if sensing the ache inside her. “We should, uh, turn in. We have a lot of ground to cover this week for the other dogs.”
Nerves pattered as quickly as racing dog feet as she made fast tracks along the pavers toward the guesthouse.
Stone followed—she could hear the steady even tread of his long-legged stride. He reached past her, thumbed in the security code and pushed the large door wide into the sweeping great room.
Pearl and Ruby raced past, sniffing and exploring, closing in on the large dog bowl of water even though they’d had plenty to drink outside, as well. She set Sterling down to join them. Three fat, fluffy dog beds were lined up behind the sofa. The Donavans were thoughtful hosts.
As she turned toward the expansive glass wall, she couldn’t help but think the winter must be magnificent with the view of a snow-covered countryside. Even now, the sight was beyond magnificent, lush and green with cows grazing. She worked with large animals as a vet tech every day and had seen farms across Texas, but even she found this place breathtaking. What would it be like to have visited these people when she and Stone had been a couple? Most of their outings had been to more pretentious social gatherings, high-end fund-raisers or business functions.
Nothing like this day or this place.
The Donavans clearly had embraced the Vermont experience, complete with dairy cows. Although not all Vermont farms came with an ice cream parlor just for their kids.
Stone whistled softly from the state-of-the-art kitchen. “When they said they’d stocked the kitchen for us, they weren’t joking. Do you want something to drink? Just pick, I’m sure it’s here. Snacks, breakfast pastries, fruit and ice cream. Holy cow—so to speak.”
Listening to him ramble off the flavors, she realized he was doing his best to ease the tension between them. Definitely a wise idea if she wanted to get through this week with her sanity intact. “I’ll take a scoop of the maple nut.”
“Coming right up,” he said, opening cabinets and drawers.
She walked to the kitchen island and hitched a hip up onto a bar stool. “They’re a surprisingly normal family, given all their wealth.”
He passed her a bowl and spoon. “Are you saying that my family is pretentious because of our money?”
“Not at all. But some of your friends...” She stabbed her spoon into the generous mound of ice cream in the blue stoneware bowl. “They looked right through my father in the stables.”
Scowling, he stood across from her, his bowl in front of him. “I’m sorry to hear that.”
“You were more than just sorry about it,” she answered, remembering well how he’d
stood up to snobs. “You did something about it. I remember this one time when I was about eleven and one of your college friends was ordering my dad around. You made sure that guy was given the slowest, least cooperative horse in the stable. The horse even sat in the middle of a stream and got the guy soaking wet. I knew it wasn’t accidental on your part. Was it?”
He winked, his scowl fading. “You seem to have me all figured out.”
“You always treated everyone with respect.” Her trip down memory lane reminded her of the reasons she’d fallen for this man in the first place. “You took care of your own horse. But that day when I was eleven, I officially developed my crush on you.”
“You never told me that story before.” He shoveled a spoonful of ice cream into his mouth, his eyes tracking her every movement with an intensity that tingled through her.
“I had insecurities of my own in those days,” she admitted now. It was tough to share her self-doubts around someone as confident and, yes, arrogant as Stone. “I was a tomboy, freckled and gangly, living in a trailer park. I was brought up with strong values and I loved my parents, the life they made for me.”
“They loved you. The pride on your dad’s face when he talked about you was unmistakable.”
“Thank you...” Her eyes misted just thinking about them. She understood all too well the pain Stone was facing, losing his mother figure. “I miss them so much, especially lately.”
He ate silently, letting her find her way through. She wasn’t sure where her thoughts were taking her, but she felt the need to make him understand something she couldn’t quite define herself.
Johanna set her spoon aside. “I know your family is full of good people, open-minded and generous. A part of me didn’t want to show just how vulnerable I felt. Even growing up on the ranch, I was on the periphery as an employee’s child.”
She shook her head, her voice trailing off, and she ate a bite of ice cream to cover her silence. The maple flavor melted over her taste buds.
“Johanna...” He clasped her wrist. “Go ahead. I’m listening.”
Licking the spoon clean, ever aware of his eyes on her mouth, she gathered her words. “It’s strange how you said you felt you weren’t good enough for me.... Learning which fork to use for an occasional meal at the big house is a long way from walking in billionaire circles on a day-to-day basis. Keeping up appearances during our engagement and constantly worrying I would do something to embarrass you was exhausting.”
“You never let it show.” His frown turned to a scowl. “Don’t you think that’s something I would have cared to know? We were engaged to be married, for God’s sake. If we couldn’t tell each other even something basic like that, then what did we even have together?”
“You’re angry?”
“I’m frustrated, yes. All this time I’ve been thinking that I let you down.” He shoved aside his bowl and leaned on his elbows, closing the space between them. “Right now, I’m realizing we let each other down. Except you weren’t interested in shouldering your part of the blame.”
Anger sparked along her already raw nerves. “I open up to you, and now you’re pissed off? That isn’t very fair.”
He sidestepped around the island to stand in front of her. “Nothing about what has happened between us has been fair or we wouldn’t still be hurting this much.”
She swallowed hard, certain to her toes he was about to kiss her and she wouldn’t be able to tell him no. They would pour all those frustrated emotions into passion. It wouldn’t solve anything, but at least they would have an outlet, a release.
Except he turned and left.
Her jaw dropped.
What the hell? Stone had just walked away from her?
She almost leaped from her seat to charge after him and demand he finish the conversation. How dare he just leave? They had unfinished business....
But hadn’t she done the same thing to him? Not only had she run away from him after the picnic, scared she couldn’t resist the temptation to do more than kiss him. But she’d also walked out on their relationship and very publicly, at that. His words settled in her gut along with the sting of guilt. He was right. She’d let him shoulder all the blame for their breakup when she hadn’t given her all to him, either.
The realization echoed hollowly inside her. She gathered both bowls and rinsed them out carefully, wishing her confusion was as easily swirled down the drain. Or that she could just shake off her worries and go to sleep like the three dogs curled up on their beds, snoring. The thought of going to her room alone was more than she could bear tonight after watching all-day family bliss with the Donavans, not just as parents but as a couple.
She yanked a blanket from the back of the sofa and curled up on the couch to count stars instead of sheep.
* * *
Stone woke the next morning with a throbbing headache and an aching erection.
His shower took care of the visible sign of his arousal, but didn’t do much to cool the fire inside him. Walking away from Johanna the night before had been one of the most difficult things he’d ever done. But he’d been too angry, too on edge. He didn’t trust himself and damned if he would ever put her at risk.
So he’d left her alone. He’d worked for hours before falling into a fitful sleep just before sunup.
Tossing his shaving gear into his bag, he was still steamed over his conversation with Johanna last night. He’d spent most of the night reviewing their time together and he kept coming back to how she’d broken up with him at one of his grandmother’s major fund-raisers. That couldn’t be coincidental. If he’d known how she’d felt, he could have done things differently. Hell, he could have—
What? Given up his job and all the responsibilities that came with that? Dismissed his background and offered to give her the family she wanted? Last night he’d learned of yet another reason they weren’t meant to be together.
Who would he be if he didn’t run Diamonds in the Rough?
He tossed his bag on the thick four-poster bed beside a stack of discarded sketches for a new kids’ line with a horse logo. The images just wouldn’t come together on paper the way he saw them in his mind. Visions of a misty-eyed Johanna kept interfering, thoughts of her struggling to hold back tears when he’d held the baby.
Damn it.
He flipped open his suitcase, pulled out a pair of well-worn jeans and tugged them on. One day into this mandated week together and he was already losing his damn mind. He scratched his hands through his wet hair, needing to get his head together.
Barring that, he could at least let the dogs out.
He opened his bedroom door, wondering if Johanna was up yet. He didn’t hear her so he assumed not. The wide-open barn space sprawled in front of him. The dogs sat up, one, two, three—tails wagging, tongues lolling out. They launched off their beds behind the sofa in unison but thank God, not barking. He knelt, petting each to keep them quiet. Then he snapped his fingers to lead them to the door. Walking past the couch, he almost stopped short. Johanna slept on the sofa, wrapped in a quilt, still wearing her sundress from yesterday.
His gaze stayed on her even as he waved the dogs outside, then he turned to face her fully and enjoy a view that far exceeded anything outside. Many nights he’d watched her sleep, her face relaxed, her stubborn chin softened a bit. Her long lashes brushed her sun-kissed cheeks. His body went hard all over again, his jeans more and more uncomfortable. He needed to get himself under control before she woke.
Padding barefoot across the room, he quietly put together the coffeepot. A crystal cake plate and cover displayed a selection of pastries big enough to feed them twice over. He grabbed a bear claw, wishing his other hunger was as easy to satisfy.
As the coffee gurgled the scent of java into the air, he felt the weight of eyes studying him. He already knew. Johanna. The connection t
hat threatened to drive him mad was alive and well.
He pulled two stoneware mugs off the hooks under the cabinets. “Sorry I woke you.”
A rustle from the sofa sounded, and her reflection came to life in the window pane over the sink.
“It’s okay. I was just catnapping anyway.” Johanna stretched her arms over her head. “It was tough to sleep after we argued.”
“That wasn’t an argument. I consider that a very revealing discussion we should have had a long time ago.” He poured coffee into both mugs. Black. They both drank it the same way, strong and undiluted by sugar or cream. The only thing it seemed they still had in common. He picked up both and walked toward her.
“What would talking about my insecurities have changed?” Her bare toes curled against the rustic braid rug. “Do you think our breakup would have hurt any less? I can’t imagine how.”
“True enough.” He passed her a mug, wishing he could find a way to be with her without tearing them both apart. “Truce?”
She took the mug, wrapping both hands around the mug, brushing his fingers. The ever-ready attraction crackled. He saw it echoed in her eyes, along with wariness.
“Truce,” she repeated, sipping the coffee carefully. “Where to next?”
“Travel day, actually. I’ve got work to catch up on this morning.” Not a total lie, since he always had work. “Then we’ll fly out this afternoon to take Sterling to his new family in South Carolina.”
“I’m almost afraid to ask who your grandmother lined up next. The president?”
“Just a former secretary of state.”
She coughed a mouthful of coffee. “I was joking.”
“I’m not.” His grandmother moved in influential circles. He hadn’t given a second thought to the families she had chosen. They were longtime friends. But he hadn’t thought of how visiting these high-profile people would go over with Johanna. How many times had he tossed her into the middle of unfamiliar, perhaps even intimidating gatherings with no warning? Hell, he hadn’t even given her any direction on how to pack, just offering to buy what she needed.
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