“Don’t be.” The warmth of the day chilled for him. “She broke Gran’s heart. And Uncle Garnet wasn’t much better, but at least he tried to build a normal family life. He went to work every day even if he wasn’t particularly ambitious.” Or willing to stand up to his overly ambitious wife. “Gran always said she babied him and she wanted to be sure she didn’t make the same mistake with us.”
“Your aunt Bayleigh was ambitious enough for the both of them.” She shuddered dramatically.
“True enough.” There was no denying the obvious. “She pushed the twins for as far back as I can remember. Although I gotta confess, even their flawed family looked mighty damn enticing to me as a kid.”
“You wanted to live with them.”
She sounded surprised, which made him realize yet again how little of himself he’d shared with the woman who was supposed to have been the most important person in his life. If he wanted even a chance at being with her again, he had to give what he could this time.
“I did want to be their kid,” he admitted. “Gran even asked them once if they would be interested in guardianship of me, but their plate was full.”
She gasped. “That had to be so painful to hear.”
To this day, he was glad no one had seen him listening in. He couldn’t have taken the humiliation of someone stumbling on him crying. Looking back, he realized he must have only been in elementary school, but the tears had felt less than manly on a day when he already felt like a flawed kid no one wanted.
“It worked out for the best.” He found himself still minimizing the pain of that experience. “Gran was a great parental figure. And my mother, well, she was a helluva lot of fun during her sober stints.”
The words came out more bitterly than he’d intended. Thank God, they were pulling up to the security gate outside the Landis-Renshaw compound because he’d had about as much “sharing time” as he could take for one day. Much more of this and he would start pouring out stories about being a crack baby, who still cringed at the thought of all the developmental psychologists he’d visited before he’d even started first grade.
He was managing fine now, damn it, and the past could stay in the past.
The wrought-iron security gates loomed in front of them, cameras peeking out of the climbing ivy. He rolled down his window and passed over his identification to a guard posted in his little glass booth with monitors.
The guard nodded silently, passed the ID back, and the gates swung open. Now he just had to figure out how to say goodbye to another family pet and pretend it didn’t matter that the only family he’d known would soon fall apart when his grandmother died. She’d been his strength and his sanity. She’d literally saved his life as a baby. She was a strong woman, like Johanna.
As he watched Johanna cuddle the dog in her lap, he realized he hadn’t taken this dog placement trip seriously, which was wrong of him. He’d just followed Johanna’s lead in shuffling his grandmother’s pets to new families, not thinking overlong about the loss, just going through the motions. His grandmother, Johanna—the dogs—all deserved better than that from him.
For the first time he considered that perhaps his grandmother hadn’t been matchmaking after all. Maybe she had been trying to help him understand why Johanna was better off without him.
Eight
Settled deep in the front seat of the SUV, Johanna wrapped her arms around the dachshund mix in her lap and wondered how she’d gotten drawn back into a whirlwind of emotions for Stone so quickly.
At least once they arrived, she had the next few hours with people around to give her time to regain her footing before they were in a hotel together or some other romantic setting on this trip designed to tamper with her very sanity. She had time to build boundaries to protect her heart until she could figure out where they were going as a couple. Was this just sex for the week or were they going to try for more again? If so, they still had the same disagreements looming as before.
She hugged the dog closer as she looked through the window to take everything in. Could this day be any more convoluted? She was seconds away from meeting a political powerhouse couple. The general was reputed to be on the short list for the next secretary of defense. Ginger was now an ambassador and former secretary of state. Her oldest son was a senator. Who wouldn’t be nervous?
Stone, apparently.
He steered the car smoothly, but his mind was obviously somewhere else. “I never did know how Sterling ended up in my grandmother’s pack.”
His comment surprised her.
“One of her employees was older and developed Alzheimer’s. The retirement home the woman’s family chose didn’t allow animals.”
“That’s really rough. How did I not know that story?” His forehead furrowed as he steered the SUV up the winding path through beach foliage to the main house. “I wish my grandmother would have trusted me more to see to the animals after she’s gone so she could have the comfort of them now when she needs them most.”
Johanna stayed silent. She agreed 100 percent but saying as much wouldn’t change anything. The situation truly was a tough one. “It’s sad Sterling should lose his owner twice.”
“Life is rarely about what’s fair,” he said darkly before sliding the car into Park alongside the house.
He grabbed his hat and was out of the car before she could think of an answer. What was going on inside his head? This man never ceased to confuse her.
While she secured Sterling’s leash, she studied the grounds to get her bearings before she stepped out of the car. The beach compound was grander than the rustic Hidden Gem Ranch and more expansive than the scaled-back Donavan spread. She’d seen photos from a Good Housekeeping feature when she’d searched the internet for more details on the Landis and Renshaw families, who had joined when the widowed Ginger Landis married the widower General Hank Renshaw. But no magazine article could have prepared her for the breathtaking view as Johanna stared through the windshield. The homes were situated on prime oceanfront property. The main house was a sprawling white three-story overlooking the Atlantic, where a couple walked along the low-crashing waves. A lengthy set of stairs stretched upward to the second-story wraparound porch that housed the double door entrance.
Latticework shielded most of the first floor, which appeared to be a large entertainment area, a perfect use of space for a home built on stilts to protect against tidal floods from hurricanes. The attached garage had more doors than an apartment complex.
A carriage house and the Atlantic shore were in front of them. And two cottages were tucked to the sides around an organically shaped pool. The chlorinated waters of the hot tub at the base churned a glistening swirl in the sunlight, adults and kids splashing.
It was a paradise designed for a big family to gather in privacy. The matriarch and patriarch of the family—Ginger and the general—appeared on the balcony porch looking like any other grandparents vacationing with their family. Relatives of all ages poured from the guest quarters. Three other dogs sprinted ahead. Not quite the careful, structured meet and greet that worked best, but clearly this home was about organized chaos.
She stepped out of the car, setting Sterling on the sandy ground while she held tight to the leash. The family tableaus played out in full volume now. She could hear a little girl squealing with laughter while her dad taught her to swim in the pool. A mom held a snoozing infant on her lap while she splash, splash, splashed a toe in the water. Voices mingled from a mother’s lullaby to a couple planning a date night since grandparents could babysit.
Johanna saw her own past in the times her parents had taken her swimming in a pond and saw the future she wanted for herself, but couldn’t see how Stone would fit into it. She was killing herself, seeing all these happy families while was stuck in a dead-end relationship with a man who would never open up.
All l
uxury aside, this kind of togetherness was what she’d hoped to build for herself one day. Those dreams hadn’t changed. Which meant she’d landed herself right back into the middle of a heartache all over again.
* * *
Stone sat at a poolside table with Ginger and Hank Renshaw, pouring over their adoption paperwork. If anyone had told him a week ago that he would be grilling them to be sure Sterling would be a happy fit for their family, Stone would have said that person was nuts.
Yet here he was, quizzing them and watching the way they handled his grandmother’s dog— Correction. Their dog now. Sterling was curled up in Ginger’s lap, looking like a little prince, completely unfazed by the mayhem of children cannonballing into the deep end while a volleyball game took place on the beach.
Stone nodded somberly, pulling his hat off and setting it aside. “It’s important that Sterling get along with children.”
“Amen,” the general agreed, having stayed silent for the most part, a laid-back gramps in khaki shorts and a polo shirt. “We have double digits in grandkids. Christmases are particularly chaotic.”
This wasn’t chaos? Stone felt the weight of Johanna’s eyes on him, the confusion in her gaze. He gave her a reassuring smile, and she warily smiled back, which too quickly had his mind winging back to thoughts of last night, of how damn much he enjoyed making her smile...and sigh.
He cleared his throat, and his thoughts, turning his focus back to the older couple who’d clearly found a second chance at romance.
Ginger touched her husband’s arm, the former secretary of state completely poised in spite of the breeze pulling at her graying hair and loose beach dress. “Hank, we should have them test out the Rottweiler—Ruby—while they’re here, as well, since he will be part of the family, sort of, by going to Jonah’s father-in-law.”
Ginger’s youngest son had married a princess, no less. Stone looked out at the beach where Ruby splashed in the waves with another dog and a trio of preteens. “So far so good, I would say.”
Ginger nodded, patting the cairn terrier in Johanna’s lap. “I just wish we could take that precious Pearl, too. She’s like a little Toto from The Wizard of Oz. The grandkids would love her and it would be wonderful to keep them together. But we know our limits.”
Johanna set her glass of sweet tea back on the table. “We’re going to be sure Pearl is well taken care of. Just knowing that Sterling is happy is a load off all our minds, especially for Mrs. McNair.” She glanced sympathetically at Stone before looking back at Ginger. “Thank you.”
The family matriarch twisted a diamond earring in a nervous fidget, genuine concern in her eyes. “I’m terribly sorry about Mariah.... There are no words at a time like this.”
“Thank you, ma’am.” Stone nodded tightly, emotion squeezing his chest in a tight fist. “You’re offering exactly the kind of help my grandmother needs. Right, Johanna?”
He glanced at her, finding her gaze locked on a mother, father and toddler splashing through the surf together. The look of longing in her eyes slashed straight through him.
Johanna stood up quickly. “We brought a little gift, as a thank-you from Diamonds in the Rough. I’ll just get it out of the car.”
As he watched her race away he realized how their night together had messed with both of them. Last night had been different from their other times together, and his emotions were in revolt. He was starting to accept it wasn’t totally because of his grandmother. His confusion had more to do with Johanna than he’d realized.
Strange how they’d swapped roles here, but he appreciated her interjecting. Talk of his grandmother and seeing this picture-perfect family echoed what he’d already begun to accept. Johanna was right to want this for herself. She shouldn’t compromise for him.
* * *
On the plane headed for Montana for Pearl’s meeting, Johanna struggled to figure out the shift in Stone this afternoon. She thought they’d reached a truce whereby they would indulge in no-strings sex for the week and deal with the fallout later. Yet, something had already changed for him.
And she had to confess, she didn’t feel carefree about things, either. Watching the huge Landis-Renshaw family hurt. She couldn’t lie about that.
The plane powered through the bumpy night sky and even though she knew where they were going literally, figuratively, she was now totally adrift.
She studied Stone sitting on the sofa with a sketch pad, his forearm flexing as he drew. Pearl slept on a cushion beside him, her head resting on his thigh. He was so damn enticing, he took her breath away.
“What happens now?” Johanna asked.
He glanced up. “Well, in about two more hours, we should land in—”
“That’s not what I meant.” Her hand fell to Ruby’s head as the Rottweiler slept at her feet. Johanna would kennel them for landing or if the turbulence worsened, but for now she wanted to make the most out of the remaining time with the dogs before they went to their new homes. “Why are you avoiding talking to me? I really don’t want to think that now that you’ve gotten lucky we’re through.”
His eyebrows shot upward. “You have a mighty jaded view of mankind.”
“You haven’t said anything to change my mind tonight,” she pushed.
Eyes narrowed, he set aside his sketch pad and rolled his broad shoulders to stretch out a kink. “Who gave you such a bad impression of men, and why didn’t I pick up on this when we were together before?”
“Maybe because I always gave you the answers you wanted to hear.” She was realizing she had to accept some responsibility for their breakup and quit blaming him for everything.
“And I accepted them rather than pressing,” he conceded, bracing his feet through another brief patch of turbulence.
“There’s no great mystery to be solved.” She shrugged. The muted cabin lights, with only a reading lamp over Stone, cast intriguing shadows along his rugged face. “My parents were great. My father was a good man. But for some reason, the men I chose to date always let me down. One wanted me to give up vet tech school to follow him right away, no waiting—”
“That was Dylan—”
“Yeah,” she said, surprised that Stone remembered. He’d been intensely into making his mark at the company, so much so she’d decided she needed to get over her crush. She’d been living in an efficiency apartment, training to be a vet tech. It had seemed time to move forward with her life. “He couldn’t even wait six more months for me to finish.”
“Then he didn’t deserve you.”
“Damn right.” She knew that now, and even then she’d felt a hint of relief since she didn’t ever want to leave Fort Worth. “And the next guy I dated when I moved back to the ranch after school—”
“Langdon.”
“You have a good memory.” A part of her had wanted him to notice she’d grown up, had wanted him to see her as a woman rather than the pigtailed kid trailing around in the stables. Hindsight, that had been incredibly unfair to Langdon.
“When it comes to you? Yes, I have a very good memory.”
“Langdon was the jealous type.” And there had been reason for him to be jealous, but that still didn’t excuse him going borderline stalker about it. “No need to say more.”
“I disagree,” he said darkly.
“Don’t get caveman on me. You don’t need to hunt him down. He didn’t hurt me.” She stared out into the murky sky for a moment before continuing, “But a look in his eyes made me uncomfortable. I could go on about the other guys in my life, but I just kept picking losers.”
“Ouch,” he snapped back with a laugh, scrubbing a hand along his five o’clock shadow. “That stings since I’m on that list of exes.”
“One of my exes accused me of entering relationships destined to fail because I was secretly pining for you.” The words fell out before
she could recall them, but then, what did she have to lose at this point?
“Was that true?”
“You know I always had a crush on you.” The crush had been so much easier than this.
“Crushing and loving are very different.”
Her stomach lurched and it had nothing to do with the bump, bump of the plane over another air pocket. “I did love you when we got engaged.”
“Past tense....” He rubbed his neck, and her fingers clenched at the memory of the warmth of his skin. “I’m still getting used to that. What about now?”
“I honestly don’t know, and the way you’re sitting over there all detached makes it even tougher to figure out what I’m feeling.”
He stood, and her mouth went dry the way it always did when he walked her way. But instead of scooping her up, he simply moved into a large leather chair across from her. “When we were together at the beach, none of that was pretend. You can trust what we felt.”
“It was real, but we’re still learning things weren’t as perfect as we thought they were the day we got engaged. It will take us both some time to trust anyone again.”
His jaw flexed with tension. “The thought of you getting over me enough to be with someone else is not a heartening thought.”
“Why do you naturally assume that the someone I should be with would have to be another person?” She wanted to grab him by the shoulders and shake him. What the hell was going on? He’d made it clear he didn’t want to break up when she’d walked, and now that she was reaching out, he’d put up a wall between them. “Even after what we shared last night?”
“Is this really a discussion we should be having now?”
“If not now, when?”
Turbulence jostled the plane again, harder this time and Ruby scrambled for steady footing.
Stone rose quickly, no doubt welcoming the chance to avoid the tough conversation. “We should crate the dogs now.”
Sighing, Johanna rose, too, walking to the sofa to pick up Pearl. The pup sat on top of the sketch pad, head tipped with total attitude, one ear up, one down. Johanna gathered the scruffy rascal and uncovered Stone’s sketch pad.
One Good Cowboy Page 11
