The Last Faerie Queen

by Chelsea Pitcher

  Why were her eyes always so bright?

  The Princess of the Dark Court beckoned to me, her body surrounded by mist in shades of purple and black, like the petals of a flower that only blooms at night. And in the center of the flower, a face so pale, it looked like the moon the Seelie Court was missing. Red hair spilled over her shoulders in waves, curling at the ends. I wanted to slide my hands into that hair and lower my face to hers. Her head would tilt, the tiniest bit, and then we’d be kissing, really kissing.

  Elora would step closer, wrapping her arms around my neck. My arms would go around her waist. I’d tug her a little, fingers digging into her hipbones, and she’d just fit, body curving into me. Slowly, we’d fall to the forest floor. We’d fall like leaves, but we wouldn’t be dying.

  We’d be coming to life.

  In the real world, Elora was hesitant. This, at least, was a side of her I’d come to know intimately. (I know, the irony.) She lingered in the shadows like they would somehow protect her, though from me, or from some unseen danger, I didn’t know.

  I wanted to tell her to come closer, but I didn’t. As usual, the Taylor that took the wheel in my fantasies was much braver than the one who sputtered along in reality. Then again, fantastical Taylor didn’t have to worry about the very crushing weight of rejection. The ever-present sting of defeat. So, instead of doing what I wanted, I did what I always did.

  I gave her an out. “You’re leaving, aren’t you?” I asked, meeting her at the edge of the clearing. In the middle of the space, our friends slept soundly, resting on beds of leaves and moss. The beds were surprisingly comfortable, except for Kylie, who’d called herself “the inspiration for The Princess and the Pea.” Still, after several minutes of careful rearranging, she’d curled up against Alexia and fallen asleep.

  “I’m leaving,” Elora confirmed, stepping closer. Just like that, I took her hands. I don’t even know what compelled me. Maybe fantastical Taylor was sliding into the drivers seat. Maybe he was just taking the wheel for a second. Either way, she felt amazing, and she wasn’t pulling away, so I didn’t question it much.

  “Where are you going?” I asked, playing with her hands.

  “You know where,” she said.

  “And I can’t come with you?”

  “You know that too.”

  I laughed, pushing my boundaries and hers. “You said that before, but here I am.”

  That was a mistake. She stepped back, almost untangling her hands from mine. “You aren’t supposed to be here. You’re supposed to be home, with your family. I can’t keep you here.”

  “You aren’t.” The Seelie Queen is. “And besides, my parents pretty much disowned me before I left.”

  Who am I kidding? My dad never wanted me in the first place. And my mom didn’t have the guts to stand up to him.

  “You could still reconcile … ” She looked up at me, her eyes dark and beautiful in the night. This is how I remembered her best, surrounded by branches and shadows. A creature that was equal parts forest and darkness. “You should never have been brought into this place. It is not safe—”

  “What if, for once, we looked at things the opposite way?” I reached out and tucked a hair behind her ear. Even I couldn’t believe it. Who was this person taking over my body? How could I get him to stay? “Instead of looking at the downside, let’s look at the positives here.”

  “I’m a faerie of the Dark Court. I was trained to look at the dark side of things.”

  “Trained?”

  “Raised? Created? I don’t know anymore.” She shook her head. “And what are the positives, exactly?”

  It hurt that she even had to ask, considering I was standing right in front of her. But I knew she didn’t mean it that way. She was just worried for me, worried for both of us.

  “Well, you’re going to fight in your revolution,” I said. “That’s still happening, right?”

  “Yes.”

  “And I’m going to help you—”

  “Without putting yourself in danger.”

  “Without putting myself in danger.” Possibly. I hadn’t decided yet. “And, best of all, you got to smuggle your secret boyfriend into the Seelie Court, where the dark faeries can’t get to us.”

  She laughed, lowering her lips to my ear. I was startlingly aware that she hadn’t dismissed the “boyfriend” comment. I was startlingly aware of, well, everything, because her touch was so electric. It lit me up from the inside. It did the exact opposite of what you’d expect from a Princess of the Dark Court. But in the vast darkness that was the Unseelie Court, Elora was the moon, fully belonging in the night sky, yes, but also lighting it up.

  “You are here, aren’t you?” She smiled, her body inching closer to mine. This was my favorite part, the way we would start out close and get … closer. I’d never known how close I could get to someone, before her.

  This time, I lowered my lips to her ear. “I kind of thought that was obvious,” I said.

  This time, she shivered.

  And this time, just this once, I told the truth. “And I kind of think that’s what you wanted all along.”

  “It is.” Her gaze drifted up, holding me in place. “From the moment I met you, I could see you here, standing under the leaves. Vines wrapping around you, not choking, just holding you gently. But that is the danger of the Seelie Court: it is beautifully inviting, but it does not do what you expect. And so … ” She stepped back. “I knew I couldn’t bring you, not if I wanted to protect you.”

  “How about this?” I followed her, taking her hands again. “You worry about what you need, and I’ll take care of myself. I don’t need you to protect me.”

  “You don’t know what you need—”

  “See, that’s the problem here. You wanting to protect me? That’s sweet, okay, because I want to protect you. But you thinking I’m helpless? That’s condescending.”

  Her smile fell away. “I didn’t … that isn’t what I meant.”

  “I know what you meant. But you talking like that makes me feel bad. Like some pathetic little boy who can’t possibly stand up to your greatness.”

  “It isn’t a male thing. It’s a mortal thing.” She kissed my cheek. “I have nothing but respect for you. But you are in a forest of magic, and as magical as you are, my darling, you are not prepared for the illusions here.”

  My darling. Those words drifted through my head, whispering, pulling on me. Always, she was pulling on me. Even when she was walking away. “So you’re going to the Unseelie Court,” I said.

  “Just to the border between the courts. I need to reconnect with my followers, to let them know that I survived Naeve’s wrath.”

  “Are you going to lie about what happened? I mean, are you going to tell them … ” That you risked your life for a human. Me.

  “Haven’t I told you?” she asked, brow furrowing. It was the cutest thing I’d ever seen. “Faeries cannot lie.”

  “For real?” The breath whooshed out of me. “So, when you tell me how you feel … ”

  “It is really how I feel.”

  I thought of everything she’d said to me in the mortal world. She’d called me her sweetest salvation. A force of nature. “Okay, that’s wicked.”

  I expected her to smile, to flash that wicked grin that whispered all kinds of things. But she didn’t. She looked worried.

  “What aren’t you telling me? Are you afraid of what your followers will think?”

  “It isn’t that.” The shadows hovered around her, circling her arms like they were tasting her skin. I didn’t like it. “I realized something in the graveyard,” she said. “When Naeve captured you, there was a look in his eyes—”

  “Pure, unadulterated hatred?”

  “Fear. He’s afraid of you.”

  “Me?” I resisted the urge to look behind me, to make sure she wasn�
�t talking to someone else. “Why?”

  “Because you are a human,” she said simply. “Humans have always been a great and terrible mystery to the faeries. Nature created you, and yet you seek to destroy her at every turn.”

  “Aw, shucks. You flatter me.” I didn’t exactly love it when she talked about humans like that. Even if it was true.

  “Taylor. I did not mean—”

  “I know.” I tightened my grip on her hands, keeping her close. “You don’t blame me for nuclear war. I don’t blame you for the fact that your mother’s a psycho. That’s why we’re so good together.”

  She smiled. “We are, aren’t we?”

  “The best,” I said softly. “So tell me more about The Great and Terrible Taylor, capable of striking fear into the hearts of dark faeries everywhere.”

  “You have a power they do not understand. And your world … ” Her eyes glittered, and for a second I believed everything she’d said. Believed I was great and terrible. “Nothing quite terrifies them like the human world.”

  “It’s too bad we can’t transport them to the middle of a city, and then attack. God, can you imagine the look on Naeve’s—” I froze, staring at Elora. She had the wildest grin on her face.

  “Have I told you how brilliant you are today?”

  “Well no, but if you stay a while … ”

  She laughed. “We cannot transport the dark faeries to the mortal world, true. But perhaps we can bring the mortal world to them.”

  “How?”

  “All it would take is a few quick sketches. Simple renderings of the mortal world. Nothing fancy. Then I could use glamour to make them think they’d been transported … ”

  “Renderings?” I stepped back, pulling my hands from her grip.

  “Just a few quick sketches. We want the illusion to be realistic, and you know the mortal world better than I—”

  “You want me to draw?” My pulse was pounding and my heart was racing, like I’d woken up in the Seelie Court all over again. Woken up and remembered what I had done, and what it had cost.

  “I know it’s a lot to ask. But Taylor—”

  “A lot to … ” I huffed, shaking my head. “I haven’t painted since my brother’s death. You know that. You know it was my fault! How could you ask me to … ”

  “Taylor, please. It wasn’t your fault.”

  “You weren’t there. He climbed that tree because of me. To get my father to stop … ”

  Abusing me.

  But I’d never said those words. I’d never even framed it that way in my head. Abused kids got thrown into walls and locked into rooms and touched in ways they didn’t want. My dad was a hardass, sure, but he hadn’t abused me.

  He’d only broken me down every time I felt good about myself. Ridiculed me in front of my brother. In front of my friends. He’d taken every good thing I could do and found something wrong with it.

  I could paint, but only when something was right in front of me. Never from memory. Never from my own mind. So what?

  “He taunted me,” I said, leaning into a tree. “People were calling me a prodigy, and my dad made me feel so stupid. Like nothing was good enough. Aaron was just trying to help. He was the best kid brother you could ever hope for. He was my best friend, honestly.”

  I closed my eyes, resting my head against the bark. When I opened them, Elora was standing in front of me. “I’ve relived that moment so many times,” I said. “Aaron racing out of the door, and me running after him. He was convinced I could paint from memory if I just saw the right thing. He climbed that tree for me, so I would have the perfect image to remember, so my dad would stop taunting me.” I ran my hands through my hair, swallowing and swallowing. “He was just a kid, you know? Growing up in that house, with all that yelling … He thought he could fix everything.”

  Elora crept closer, like she was approaching a wounded animal. “Forgive me,” she said softly.

  “There’s nothing to forgive.” I turned away from her, looking up into the trees. Looking anywhere but there, into those eyes. “It isn’t your fault I’m useless.”

  “You aren’t useless, Taylor. You’re brilliant and sweet and—”

  “Brilliant? Please. You’re the one coming up with all these big ideas, and I’m the one dragging you down.”

  “No.” She took my face in her hands. “You’re the one keeping my feet on the ground. My ideas are big, yes, some might say out of this world, but I need them to work in this world. Do you understand? I need a plan we can execute, not something so grand and dramatic that we’ll never pull it off.”

  “You can pull off anything.”

  “That’s what I thought when I entered the human world. I thought I could sneak into a high school, steal a mortal offering, and be off before my enemies caught me. Why did I think that?”

  “Because you’ve got that killer self-confidence that’s so common in people our age?”

  She laughed. “I thought I could prepare for every eventuality. I always think that. That’s why Naeve was able to capture me in the graveyard. He found the one thing I wasn’t prepared for, and used it against me. He found … ”

  “Me.”

  “Yes, you. And tonight, when you offered yourself up to fight in my revolution, I realized something.”

  “What?”

  “People are going to die because of me. I know it sounds ridiculous that I should only realize this now, when mortals have offered to fight, but … ” She swallowed, looking away. “I think, deep down, I truly believed I could keep my people alive if I prepared for everything. That’s why I spent years gathering up the servants of the Unseelie Court. There are thousands of us, and only hundreds of courtiers. Surely, with those odds … ”

  “Your plan is going to work,” I told her. “The Bright Queen will bind your mother, keeping her out of the battle. Your army will overpower the courtiers. You’re going to win, Elora.”

  “And people are going to die. Good people, who only wanted to be free. The ground will be littered with broken bones and blood as bright as poppies. And I will know who is to blame.”

  “The courtiers who abused them. The queen who enslaved them.”

  “And me. That’s why I wanted you to paint, my sweetest salvation. It isn’t because I am cruel. It’s because I am desperate. I thought, if I could truly shock the courtiers at the beginning of the battle, they would have no chance to … ” She looked up, eyes glistening. “I thought I could protect everyone, and I ended up hurting you. It was terrible of me.”

  “No, I’m the one who’s being terrible. I’m the one who’s being selfish.” I pushed off from the tree. “You’re trying to use my ability to save your entire world, and I’m just trapped in this cycle of beating myself up, when I don’t have to be. After Aaron fell, I locked up my paints, even though painting made me happier than anything. It made me feel like I fit in the world, you know? Like I could contribute something.” I reached for her hands. She took mine instantly. “And instead of trying, instead of letting myself be a part of the world, I’m going to keep them locked up, while you do this life-changing thing? This world-changing thing? No, I’m going to help you. I’m going to try.”

  She closed her eyes, head dipping toward me. For one brief second, the shadows broke away from her, and she was mine. “We can save the world,” she said. “Together, we can save the world. I can even create a double illusion, glamour upon glamour, so when Naeve rips the first glamour away, he will think the city around him is real!”

  “Slow down there, turbo,” I said. “You’re getting ahead of yourself.” Or at least, she was getting ahead of me.

  “Trust me, it’s going to work. Everything will be an illusion.” She started to break away from me. “When I come back—”

  “Whoa, whoa, whoa. You’re not leaving yet.” Again, I was bolder than I’d ever been. But I
didn’t care. I couldn’t leave it like this.

  Elora paused, her lips curling, like maybe she knew. “And why is that?”

  This time, I wasn’t taking any chances. As gently as I could, I pulled her into me. Still, even with all my gentleness, it felt like a collision of some sort.

  A force of nature.

  Isn’t that what she’d called me? Here, now, she was a storm, twisting me in circles. Torrential rain covering me. I wanted to go swimming in her, to come away soaked and invigorated.

  I lowered my lips to hers.

  “Taylor,” she whispered, but it wasn’t a protest. It was more like a surrender. Because I wasn’t the force of nature, and neither was she. It was us, together. We were the force of nature. And you can’t fight nature.

  We both surrendered.

  My leg slid between hers, and then I was backing her up against a tree, but I stopped myself before we reached the bark. I didn’t know how much her wounds had healed, and I wasn’t going to risk hurting her the tiniest bit, not for passion. Not for anything.

  The true wildness could wait. Because this girl, when she was at full force, could handle anything I had to throw at her. I was probably the one who needed to worry. But I would rise to meet her, every time. I would make myself good enough, make myself strong enough, because this? This was better than anything.

  Her lips parted to let me in. Her breath was hot, and so was mine. I could feel heat rising between us. Here, between our lips, and lower. Electricity shot through our entire bodies, reaching out to meet in the middle. Tangling in the air.

  But no, there shouldn’t be any space between us. I wove my fingers into her hair, grasping, pulling her closer to me. She didn’t pull away. She kissed me harder. I could hear her breathing. She was making these sweet little sounds that were halfway between a sigh and a moan, and my legs got shaky.