What game was she playing?
“You disappoint me, princess,” she said finally. “I thought you, of all people, would forbid them from entering this battle. After the graveyard, after seeing what your people can do … ”
“I know what my people can do. I am one of them,” I said, and it shocked her to hear me speak of myself this way. It shocked the humans, too, but what could I do? Pretend I was different? I was not a mortal. And I’d never be a bright faerie.
I didn’t want to be.
“I believed you would do whatever it took to protect them,” the Queen scolded.
“I would. But this isn’t my decision. I love them, but I do not own them. Can you say the same?”
Again, the Queen hesitated. I thought, for an instant, that we might win. But as the smile spread over her face, a cold, sick feeling unfurled in my stomach.
“Perhaps you are right,” she said. “Perhaps I have been unfair to the humans, trying to keep them safe by keeping them contained. But if I am to allow my mortal offering to enter the battle, you must do something for me.”
“What is it?” I asked, my heart fluttering in my chest. First fluttering, then thundering, then silent as the Queen spoke her request:
“Admit to me the risk you’re putting him in. Admit that bringing him into the Dark Court could mean handing him over to the Unseelie Queen. Admit that you are leading him into your mother’s lands, and possibly your mother’s hands, and you are free to go.”
My heart sank to my knees. For I couldn’t admit it. I couldn’t lie, but I couldn’t admit that it was the truth. Because if it was the truth, I couldn’t bring Taylor into the Dark Court. Couldn’t seal his fate like that.
And the Bright Queen knew it. Oh, she was crafty.
But so were the humans. For a moment, they were whispering together, and then Taylor leaned in and told me a secret about shackles and offerings. The solution to this riddle.
“All right,” I said, my heart springing to life once again. “If I bring Taylor into the Dark Court, I might as well hand him over to my mother.”
And that’s exactly what I’m going to do.
19
TayloR
That night, Elora bound my wrists and led me through the forest. But these weren’t breakable vines, like Maya de Lyre had used on Brad. These were metal shackles, with thick chain links between them. The kind of thing dark faeries just kept on hand, apparently.
Or maybe the Bright Queen had them. I didn’t ask, because I didn’t really want to know. I just held out my arms and let them close around my wrists. And my friends did the same, like good little humans. We were going to make such wonderful gifts for the Unseelie Queen!
Don’t worry, I hadn’t lost my mind. I was just playing the part that was required of me. Because the Bright Queen was right: we couldn’t just sneak into the Unseelie Court and take back what had been stolen.
We’d have to be stolen too.
So here’s how it went: Elora bound us with shackles and led us, like animals, to the border between the courts. Keegan and I went on foot, and Kylie rode a pretty golden mare that she’d bonded with over the past few days. When we reached the border, we were stopped by a host of wicked-looking things. There was a faerie in rusting armor with long, silvery hair and a lady scarecrow that could give a guy nightmares for centuries. There was a giantess with an eerie rabbit’s head, and a faerie with a body like a frog sitting on her shoulder. A lady in a moth-eaten dress sneered down at us, her skin scarred and pockmarked beneath the red velvet. But more horrifying than anything was the woman whose head was birthing ravens. Her entire body was black, her dress was black, her gloves were black. Even her umbrella was black. Or maybe it was a parasol—you know, that thing Victorian ladies used to keep the sun off their pasty skin. The air around her was inky black, like her body was bleeding into the night, and birds peeled away from her face, disappearing into the sky. Birds that were half feather and half smoke. Their eyes were a glowing red, and even after they were gone I could still see them.
When I closed my eyes, I could still see them.
Fantastic, I thought as Elora tugged us toward them, her dress swirling around her feet in a deep shade of red. She’d glamoured it before we’d left the Seelie Forest.
“I believe an offering was requested?” she said to the dark faeries, dipping her head. She wasn’t wearing Kylie’s crown yet, but she’d tied it to her waist, along with my sword. The armor was floating behind us in an enchanted bag.
“And you’re giving them to us?” the faerie in armor said. Her face was beautiful, the kind of face men killed for in fairy tales, but those eyes, man … they looked haunted. Like she’d lived a thousand years and seen a thousand evils.
Human evils, I thought, and took a step back.
Meanwhile, Elora’s face betrayed nothing. How did she do that? For a second, I wished I had the ability to hide what I was feeling.
Then I remembered there was value in letting people see you.
“I am not giving you anything,” Elora said. “I am leading them through my mother’s lands, up to her palace … ”
I’m not sure why she said it like that. Not our lands. Not even the Unseelie Court. But maybe she was reminding them that they weren’t free yet, and they needed her to make this land theirs.
“In chains,” the faerie said, smiling hungrily as she eyed my wrists. Oh, goody, I thought, another psychopath who likes to see us tied up. “Have you come to your senses then? Seen humans for the filth that they are?”
Elora grinned. It was eerie and otherworldly and entirely fey. It reminded me of the differences between us, which weren’t really obvious until her people were around. “Either that,” she said, teeth glinting in the moonlight, “or they have offered themselves up willingly so that I might return home.”
The silver-haired faerie scoffed, looking at us with undisguised hatred. “Mortals, offering themselves up to the darkness? Allowing themselves to be chained?”
Elora shrugged, all teenager again. “I daresay stranger things have happened. But either way, you’re getting what you wanted. These mortals are entering the Dark Court. And once I give them to my mother, she will have no choice but to trust me again.”
The faerie eyed her warily, but there was respect in her gaze. “What game are you playing?”
“A good one.” Elora laughed, those eyes twinkling with mischief. “Would you like to play with me?”
Who wouldn’t?
The faerie stared at her for a minute, like she was trying to see into Elora’s soul. Finally, she stepped aside. “The princess has returned,” she announced, and the servants cheered. Wings opened. Talons curled. I thought someone might slit their wrists right there so they could all dance in the blood. But there would be no veins opened here, not so close to the Seelie Court. If someone was going to bleed, it was going to happen at the Unseelie Castle.
And it was probably going to be me.
I shuddered, and Elora turned back like she’d felt it. For a second, we were the only ones in the forest. I remembered our first day at school together, the way it had felt like we were standing in a single pool of light. Now darkness surrounded us, but it had the same effect. We were the only people in the world, and we were having a conversation without words. She studied my face. I nodded, just enough for her to see it. I thought, there’s no going back now. Not if I’m going to become the man I’ve always wanted to be. The one who can defend the people he loves. The one who can defend himself.
Elora watched me carefully. Then she smiled. “Let us venture, then.”
Together, we walked from the light into the darkness. A host of winged faeries followed at our backs. Still, as long as they kept a respectable distance, I could stay close to their princess without getting attacked.
So I did. I walked at her side as we entered the darkness. T
he Unseelie Forest didn’t reveal itself the way the Seelie Forest had. But then, that’s the nature of darkness. It doesn’t show you its monsters; instead, you have to check around every corner, constantly looking over your shoulder. And hey, there might be no monster at all.
Or they might be everywhere.
And so we walked, like kids afraid of their closets, through brambles that whipped away their vines to let us pass. All the trees were black, but they came in two forms: some were fat, with gnarled branches that looked like hands, and others were so tall, their tips impaled the sky. So, on top of any creatures that lurked in the forest, we had to be wary of trees that might stab us, or snatch us up.
Well played, Unseelie Forest.
I tried to joke with myself to keep from freaking out. Keegan was doing the same thing. He kept looking at all the dark places, all the sharp edges, and whistling, saying, “Subtle.” Eventually, we all started doing it, and laughing, even though our skin was crawling. At one point, Keegan took my hand, and I took Kylie’s, and we walked together, the three of us, not shackled by fear or hate but bound by love.
Soon the forest was dotted with red as tiny berries peeked out of the branches. Blossoming before our eyes, they grew into red flowers that dropped petals onto the ground. It looked like the forest was bleeding.
“Subtle,” Keegan and I said together. He turned to me and grinned.
Now those flowers were changing, giving way to fat, glowing fruits, almost identical to the ones we’d been drugged with in the Seelie Court, except these ones were red.
Of course, I thought, shaking my head. I hardly even noticed when my hand reached up and plucked one from a tree. It was like something was acting for me, or maybe some deep, instinctual part of me was responding without my knowledge. I’d almost lifted the fruit to my lips when Elora smacked it out of my hand.
“Careful there,” she said, wiping the red, oozing liquid from my skin. “You don’t want to do that.”
“Why not?” I asked, though I had no doubt the fruit was dangerous. I just wanted to understand what I was dealing with. “And why did I do that?”
“Decades ago, my mother enchanted these woods to torment humans who entered our lands.”
“Meaning?”
“Meaning this isn’t poison, is it?” Keegan already had a piece of fruit in his hand. This time, Kylie slapped it away.
“Bad,” she scolded.
He smirked, his lips twisting. But his eyes had followed the fruit to the ground.
“It is not poison,” Elora confirmed, leading us past the tree. “If anything, it will make you wish for poison.”
“Could you be a little less … cryptic?” I asked, passing more trees with more bulbous fruits. My mouth started to water.
This is bad, I thought, as Keegan laughed, shaking his head. “Yeah, we don’t take kindly to subtlety here, princess,” he said.
Swooping down, I picked up a stick from the ground and started knocking fruit from the trees.
“What?” I asked when Elora turned around. ”If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em, right? But if you can’t join ’em … ”
“Beat ’em off?” Keegan suggested.
Kylie laughed, clapping her hand over her mouth. Of the three of us, she was the only one who hadn’t reached for the fruit yet.
“So what does it do, exactly?” I asked, showing another piece of fruit who was boss. Maybe it was reckless, but it made me feel like I had some control in an uncontrollable situation.
“It shows you what humans are capable of,” Elora said. “One bite, and you will see the darkest moments in human history. You will see your darkest moments too, the ones you keep hidden even from yourself.”
I closed my eyes and saw my brother falling to his death. I saw Elora falling, too, into Naeve’s clutches in the graveyard. Saw myself with the branch I’d slammed into Naeve’s head.
“I don’t need a spell to show me that,” I said.
“Perhaps you will see other things, then,” Elora suggested. “Things that have not yet come to pass. Things you are capable of in your worst moments. Would you mutilate another, out of vengeance and fury? Would you kill? Tear a person limb from limb, and smile as they screamed?”
“So it’s like the Tree of Knowledge,” Kylie said. “From the Bible story.”
I tried to remember the story, but my parents were atheists. Still, I knew there was an apple, and a girl that got blamed for eating it. Something about a snake, too.
“Except here, every tree is the Tree of Knowledge, and it isn’t the kind you want,” Keegan said.
Elora nodded. “The knowledge of murder and assault and mutilation, of people who own continents while others starve in the streets.”
“Child armies and child brides,” Kylie said.
“Nuclear weapons. Napalm. War after war after war.” Keegan shook his head. We were all getting a little sick with ourselves. With our people.
“The knowledge of what men can do to each other under the right circumstances,” Elora said. “Of what you could do, if you chose to—”
“It’s not that simple,” I said, and I wasn’t talking to her. Not only. “It can’t be. How can evil be a choice? How could you choose that? How could I choose that?”
“You’re going to war right now,” Kylie said. “You’re going to kill people. People you haven’t even met.”
”People who tortured Elora. People who tortured their servants for centuries.”
“And that’s how you justify it.”
“Why are you arguing with us?” I asked, looking up at Kylie. “You’re going to war too.”
I expected her to laugh, to shake her head. To say she would rescue Alexia and then bail.
But she didn’t. “I’m just showing you how easy it is,” she said, patting her horse on the back.
“It is easy to justify killing when you know who the villain is,” Elora explained.
“Except we all have different ideas about that,” I said.
“Yes,” Elora said, as Kylie said, “Exactly.”
I stopped in my tracks. “Then the dark faeries are right.” If humans were gone, we’d take all that murder, assault and mutilation with us. Then what would be left? Faeries and animals. Plants. Flowers. Trees. The beautiful earth filled with beautiful creatures, instead of man.
Nature’s big mistake.
“The spell is working,” Elora said, touching my cheek with her hand. The space around us felt darker, like she was using her magic to conceal the movement. “The magic preys on your desire to be a hero, Taylor. Your desire to be right.”
“But there is no right, no absolute,” I said. “Not if being right means killing whoever’s wrong.”
“That’s right. That’s it,” she said, and just like that, my muscles began to relax. I could feel the spell dripping off of me like an oil slick.
“The danger is in simplifying,” she said. “The danger is in forgetting your mercy. Forgetting the cost of taking a life, and the burden you will carry for the rest of your days.”
“But what if there’s no other choice?” I asked, looking up into the trees. Damn, that magic was strong. I knew the Unseelie Queen was speaking through me, getting into my head, but I couldn’t stop it, because it felt like my own thoughts.
It mirrored them.
“What if I’m standing in the battle,” I continued, “and someone’s going to hurt me, or someone here, and I know I can stop it?”
“Then stop it.” Elora took her hand from my face. I felt heavy the minute her fingers fell away.
I felt burdened.
“But there are many ways to defend oneself,” Elora said. “And sometimes a soul is worth more than the body that carries it.”
“What does that mean?” I asked.
“It means that dying is better,” Kylie said, sim
plifying in a way Elora couldn’t. Or wouldn’t. “If the choice is dying or killing your soul—”
“By killing somebody?” I said, because I wasn’t sure souls could be killed. Stained maybe. Weakened or damaged for a time. But killed? No. I didn’t believe that. I couldn’t believe it, now that I knew I had a soul. Now that I’d felt it, through her. Through love.
Maybe that’s the answer, I thought, but like a butterfly or a raven made of smoke, it flew away before I could catch it.
Before I really understood what it meant.
“If a guy was bearing down on me, and I knew I had to kill him or die, I might die,” Kylie said. “I might do that, because my soul is more important than my body.”
Might, Kylie had said. Not would. Might. Something had shifted. Faerie had changed her, made her harder, just like the rest of us.
“It doesn’t call to you, does it?” I said, looking up at the fruit.
Kylie shook her head. “I already know what I’m capable of. I’ve known it since they took her, and it isn’t pretty, Taylor. I may not kill to save my own life, but hers … ”
“You would?” I asked after a minute. I didn’t really want to hear the answer, but I felt like I needed it.
“I would do things you can’t imagine. Things I didn’t imagine, before I watched the darkness swallow her whole.” She reached up, plucking a piece of fruit from a nearby tree. She brought it right to her lips and I feared the worst. Then she tossed it, so carelessly, behind her back. “That’s why I’m not drawn in by the power of the spell. I don’t need some psycho to show me the dark side of my heart. I know what I’m capable of.”
“And?” Keegan asked, shaking softly as he stared at her. She must’ve sounded like a stranger to him. Still, her words were familiar. We’d all thought them at some point.
“And I would do anything to protect the people I love,” she said.
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