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Prologue
Ashley had finally stopped weeping when she heard her mom, Brenda, stand up for her for the last time. Her father, Tim, began shouting at his wife, calling her a stupid bitch, a fucking dumb ass, and a piss poor excuse for a woman. Ashley hated hearing her father call her mom those names; she knew how it felt. She was called similar names by the man who she called dad. Though they were her biological parents, she had a hard time referring to them as mom and dad, instead of Brenda and Tim. The shouting continued until she heard fist hitting flesh. A sick thud. Then silence.
Listening carefully, she could hear the snick of a lighter and deep inhales from her father. He was doing it again. Getting high. It saddened her when she heard it; it was all too familiar. Within moments, he was insisting that her mother take a hit. Avoiding another fight and more abuse, her mom caved. Another flick of a lighter and deep inhales from her mother, followed by her choking on the thick, chemical smoke. She’d seen it before. The white powder on the silver sheets of aluminum foil. Her parents never hid their drug use from her. She’d watched them light up the piece of silver foil containing the powdery substance, and smoke it until the aluminum was burnt to a crisp. Black residue coated the top. She often had to pick up the blackened sheets of foil and throw them away when she cleared a space to eat her cold hotdogs before bed.
She was supposed to start kindergarten the next day, but Ashely didn’t make it. It would be another week before she would have her first day of school. All of the other children were already settled in and were beginning to make friendships. On her first day, her kindergarten teacher, Mrs. McGartland found Ashely’s missing two front teeth charming; not knowing how they were actually lost. There was no Tooth Fairy in this house. The Tooth Fairy was only for children who were loved.
Chapter 1
Ashley was looking for love in all the wrong places. Growing up in a toxic environment, she found it near impossible to escape the vicious cycle. When she met Billy Hayes, she thought she’d finally found the right man to settle down with. Billy was supposed to be an escape to her violent past; she was hopeful that her future was bright. Instead, her relationship with her new love was a return to what she’d came from, though it would take her some time to realize that. He swept her off her feet when the two met at a friend’s house—a small get together. They shared many laughs that night, which led to a few dates before she finally considered him boyfriend material. At the beginning of their relationship, she confided in Billy about what her home life was like.
“My dad is extremely controlling,” she explained to him.
“Yeah, I get that, but can’t you sneak out of the house for a couple of hours? I mean, you’re almost nineteen years old,” he pointed out.
“Billy, I don’t think you get it. Things aren’t that simple. If I sneak out and he catches me, I’ll pay hell for it,” she whispered into the phone as she sat on her bed.
“I want you to come to my friend’s house and meet a couple of my buddies. Just two hours, three tops. You can do that, can’t you?”
Reluctantly, she finally agreed that she’d go to the party with him to hang out. She didn’t want to go because she knew what the repercussions would be if she got caught, but she felt the need to please her new boyfriend. He didn’t seem to understand, or care, how controlling her dad was. Billy wanted Ashley to do what he wanted her to do, regardless of what she said. Their plan was simple. He’d swing by in his car, after dark, with the headlights off while Ashely would climb out of her bedroom window to jump in the car, and the two would make a clean get away. It seemed like a solid plan. After all, how many teenagers do that and never get caught?
When she returned home, she had a surprise in store that she hadn’t planned on. Her dad, Tim Denton, was sitting in her bedroom, waiting for her, with the lights off. Slowly, she raised the wooden window frame and began climbing into her room as quiet as a mouse. Once inside, she lowered the window to a closed position and tiptoed over to the light switch. As she flipped her bedroom light on, a voice startled her.
“Where the hell have you been, you little bitch?” her dad hissed.
Her nostrils flared as the smell of meth escaped his mouth.
“I…I…” she was scared to answer. But it wouldn’t matter what answer she gave; the end result was going to be the same.
“Come on you little slut! Tell me, were you out fucking that boy? Opening your pussy to anyone who wanted it? You damn cunt,” his gruff voice howled as he lurched off her bed, getting into her face. “Answer me you fucking tramp!”
“No, I…” terror began to set in as she sensed what was coming. “I went out with Billy to meet some of my friends,” she lied.
“Oh, you fuck girls now too, huh?” he sneered at her. His rancid breath made her take a step back.
“No. Please, dad, we were helping Tiffany move. It took us longer than we expected.”
He punched her in the gut. “That’s one! You want to tell me another lie?”
“I’m not lying, dad,” she pleaded with him, holding her stomach as she tried to catch her breath.
“That’s two!” he delivered another blow to her belly. “You know, if you’re pregnant, that baby’s going to die. Dumb bitch!”
In an attempt to escape his punches, she turned and began to run out of her room. He snatched her up, grabbing a fistful of hair and drug her back into the bedroom.
“You’re not going nowhere until I’m done with you!”
She pleaded with him to stop. In a drug-induced rage, her pleas fell on deaf ears. After he had finished using her as his punching bag, he left her like a limp ragdoll crumpled on the floor. She called Billy the next day, explaining how badly her dad had beaten her and the accusations he made. He cajoled her, saying the two of them should move in together; she could get away from her old man. The mere thought of getting out of that house thrilled her. Excited about the idea of escaping her father’s abuse, she eagerly agreed. Within a few hours, Billy pulled up in front of her parent’s rundown house, taking Ashley and the three duffle bags she’d packed.
“Is that all you’re taking?” Billy asked in surprise.
“It’s all I have,” she answered staring straight ahead.
After her and Billy had moved in together, she was grateful to escape her horrible home life but worried about her mom. Now that she was gone, her mom, Brenda, would be her dad’s new punching bag. Permanently. She had no intentions of ever going back there. Her mom was a tiny woman. She was barely over five feet tall and weighed less than a hundred pounds. Ashley contributed her mom’s drug use to her slender frame. She hardly ever ate. In her younger days, her mom had beautiful long, blonde hair. Now it was turning into a white, wiry mess. Her mom’s eyes and cheeks were sunken in from years of drug abuse with her husband. All of her teeth were rotten; the ones she still had. But for once, she was standing up for herself since her mom wouldn’t do it. Ashley was finally happy. For a while.
Living with Billy was no dream, she soon found out. The longer they lived together, the more she could see that he was just as controlling as her dad. She wasn’t allowed to go out with her friends and was barely able to talk on the phone. He insisted she did all of the house cleaning, and he refused to work; making it Ashley’s responsibility to pay the bills. They fought constantly, and it was usually over nothing in particular. Any small thing could set him off; it was like living with a ticking time bomb. She hated it; everything reminded her of living at home with her parents. It was nothing as good as Billy had made it sound like. As she thought about leaving, she realized that she had nowhere to go. She refused to go back home, and was afraid of living
on her own. Billy constantly remarked that she could never live without a man, and soon, she believed it.
After living together for only five months, Ashley discovered that she was pregnant. Now there was no way she could leave Billy. Who would take care of the baby while she worked? She needed him, and so would the baby. Not wanting her child to grow up without its father, she stayed and tried to make things work. Throughout her pregnancy, Billy seemed to back off of her a bit. They weren’t fighting as much, and for a while, she was allowed to talk to her friends. She chalked it up to him finally getting used to living together. Enthusiastic to be a mom, all she did was talk about the baby. When they found out that it was a girl, Ashley went crazy shopping for baby clothes. With very little money, she haggled at garage sales for the big ticket baby items, such as a crib, car seat, and playpen. Most of the baby’s clothing and blankets were bought at thrift stores and resale shops.
Chloe was born on Christmas day, weighing in at ten pounds, eight ounces and was over twenty-two inches long. Ashley had never been so happy in her life. Holding that sweet baby in her arms reminded her that life was good; especially once the staples were out of her stomach from the C-section. Billy and Ashley took home a happy, healthy baby, but things wouldn’t stay that way. Ashley began to notice that when she returned home from work, Chloe’s diapers were heavily soiled. She and Billy relentlessly argued about it, but he insisted that he changed the baby on a regular basis. As a mother, she knew better, but with minute funds, she couldn’t afford a babysitter. All she could do was hope that she’d get through to him, and that he’d do the right thing.
As time passed, the fighting in their relationship began to rear its ugly head again. They still argued over everything, but now with Chloe in the picture, things became more hectic. With more bills to pay, Ashley became exhausted as she picked up extra overtime. Billy’s controlling nature continued to develop, and within a year, Ashley was pregnant again. She felt trapped as though she’d never escape. Now that another baby was on the way, she felt lost and hopeless. Her co-workers tried to convince her to leave, but she knew that wasn’t an option. Billy would hunt her down, demand that she and the kids come back. She had to stay.
This pregnancy was much different than the first. Morning sickness plagued her throughout the day and night. Ashley found it tough to work, take care of the baby and clean the apartment. Everything seemed to fall by the wayside. Her and Billy argued even more now that their trailer was cluttered and they were beginning to receive disconnect notices from the utility companies as the bills piled up.
“You’re going to have to work more hours,” Billy exploded.
“Billy, I can’t do it! I just can’t! I’m working as much as I can but with my morning sickness, I’ve had to call in a lot,” she tried to reason with him.
“I’m tired of finding cut-off notices every time I get the mail. And I saw that you’re behind on your credit card. You better make those payments or we won’t be able to buy diapers,” he yelled at her.
“You know,” she stopped mid-sentence, “Wait a minute! How do you know that I’m behind on my credit card?” she challenged.
“I opened the bill, dumb ass!”
“What? And don’t call me names! You don’t open my mail! My dad used to do that to me. I’m entitled to some privacy! That’s my bill, not yours!” As they started screaming at each other, Chloe began to cry.
“Shut up! And shut your kid up too! I’m sick of hearing her cry,” he demanded.
Ashley recognized that she was near her breaking point, but she didn’t know what to do about it. Billy was far too much like her father. While he hadn’t beaten her, it was really a matter of yet. She knew it was coming, just like she was able to sense when her dad was on one of his meth-induced binges. With the baby due in only three months, she decided to try to hold out until the baby was born. One of her concerns were that she wanted this baby’s gender to be a surprise; but she didn’t have anything for it if it were a boy. Her paychecks were so small that she couldn’t have bought anything anyway. She supposed it was best to wait until the baby arrived before leaving. At least if she waited, Billy could help her with Chloe until she was released from the hospital. Without him, she had nobody else to turn to; her parents were not an option.
Shortly after Brooke was born, she began talking to her co-workers to see what her options were. Billy was so controlling that he monitored her phone bill to see every call she made. She couldn’t talk to anyone without him knowing unless it were while she was at work. That was the one place he stayed away from. She explained to her supervisor that she didn’t want to become her mother, she wanted to break the cycle of abuse. Her boss suggested she go to the St. Louis Women’s Safe House.
“But if I go there, I’m not going to be able to keep my job here. He will show up. I know he will,” she said, biting her lip.
“Well, if that’s what you have to do, then do it. Ashley, no one can tell you what’s right for you. You have to make that decision.”
“I know, but I’m scared.”
“You’re a strong woman, and I see how much you love those babies. You should at least check into it. Maybe they can help you find a new job. I’m sure you wouldn’t be the first woman to be starting all over,” she assured her.
By the end of her shift, she’d made up her mind, but didn’t have the guts to admit it. She was going to see what her alternatives were and what kind of help the Women’s Safe House had to offer. There was no way that she could continue living like she was. The next afternoon when she came in for her scheduled shift, she pulled her manager to the side.
“Saundra, do you remember how you told me to look into the Women’s Safe House yesterday?”
“Yes, I do,” she answered.
“I was wondering…Billy checks my phone bill online—daily—to see who I’m calling. Could I use the phone…”
Saundra interrupted her before she could finish the sentence. “Yes, go to my office and close the door. Take all the time you need. I’ll cover for you until you get back,” she hugged her. “You’re going to get through this, honey. Hang in there.”
The comfort of a friend, even though it was her supervisor, warmed her heart and made her want to cry. She’d only ever known abuse, not acceptance, and certainly not affection. It had been so long since she’d received a hug. The only touches she received were when Billy was pawing at her to get into her pants. His touches made her cringe, but she obliged to keep from arguing with him and waking their babies. It was the only time he ever touched her.
After talking to the St. Louis Women’s Safe House, she felt as though they’d be able to help her. She could take both of her babies there and they offered plenty of assistance and resources to help her get back on her feet. Leaving Billy was going to be a trial, but she had to end the cycle. There was no way in hell she was going to let her babies grow up thinking it was all right to support a man and let him control her. She devised a plan to take the girls and escape the abuse from Billy though it hadn’t become physical yet. She knew it was only a matter of time. With the help of her friends from work, she secretly packed as much of her and the baby’s things without him knowing. A few days before she planned to leave, she tried talking him into going on a fishing trip with some of the guys from her work. They’d all gotten together and came up with a strategy to get him out of the house, using some of the guys from her work as bait.
“You should go, Billy. It’ll be fun, and I’m off work that day so I can keep the girls while you spend some time with the guys.”
“Who’s all going?” he asked as he played video games. This had become his favorite past time while she spent her time working and cleaning.
“Steve, Matt, and Jason are all going. I think they’re planning on leaving Thursday morning around 8 AM.”
“You know I don’t fish. Why would you come up with such a stupid idea that I should go?” he protested as he’d rather spend his time on the X-Box.
> “Because you never get out of the house, and it would give me a day to myself with the girls. Please, Billy, will you go?”
“I’ll think about it,” he finally offered to get her off his back.
When she went back into work the next day, she told her co-workers that she didn’t think he was going to buy into her plan.
“You’ve got to get him out of that house,” Saundra insisted. “It’s the only way you’re going to get out of there.”
“I know, but he doesn’t like to fish.”
“What does he like to do?” her boss asked.
“Smoke weed, play video games. Anything that doesn’t involve physical activity.”
“Does he like to drink?”
“Oh yeah, he definitely likes to drink,” Ashley admitted.
“Tell him the guys are bringing a few cases of beer. Maybe that’ll do the trick. Hell, I’ll even pay for it. As much as I hate to lose you as an employee, I can’t wait to see you away from him.”
BEAST (A Coyotes of Mayhem MC Novel) (Motorcycle Club Bad Boy Romance) Page 16
