“Why not?”
Barbara tried to focus her thoughts. Enveloped in his jacket as she was, the scent of him surrounded her and made it difficult for her to remember why she didn’t want him in her life.
“William, listen, I may have sent you the wrong signals at Prudence’s wedding. Gerald had just died and I was still very vulnerable. I wasn’t really myself. I had a lapse in judgment.”
William watched her in disbelief.
“A lapse in judgment? Is that the story you’re going with? Because I’m not buying it. What happened between us was real and you know it.”
Barbara’s thoughts drifted to Prudence’s wedding. Why, oh why, had she given this man hope?
Chapter 3
Nine Months Earlier
On the eve of the wedding of Prudence and Stavros, Barbara Dickson sat at the back of the reception room at Rother Hill Manor, waiting for the rehearsal to begin. Her heart felt heavy with an unexpected lingering grief. Four months previously, her husband, Gerald, had been killed in a plane crash. She had been devastated but with the support of family, and friends like Prudence, she was coping surprisingly well.
Arrival at the estate earlier that day had brought an onslaught of other emotions that were somehow worse than the impact of losing her husband. They had been brought on by memories of that summer. The summer she had met William Lamport, the man who had taken her to the heights of euphoria and the depths of despair all in a matter of weeks. She now realized for the first time that she had never quite recovered from that experience.
“Are you okay, Barbie?” Prudence asked as she took a seat beside her.
Barbara shook herself from her thoughts. She pasted on a smile and tried to make it reach her eyes. “I’m fine. How are you? Nervous at all?”
Prudence sighed with contentment. “I’m anxious and I’m excited. I can’t wait to be Mrs. Stavros Konstantinos.”
Instantly she sobered and grasped Barbara’s hands. “But I feel guilty being happy when you just lost your husband.”
Barbara immediately shook her head. “Prunes, I’m fine, I promise. It actually does me a world of good to see this joy on your face.”
Just then, Barbara saw movement at the door and looked up.
She gasped.
William Lamport had arrived.
“William’s here,” she said softly to Prudence.
Prudence instantly got up and went to greet William.
Barbara observed, not for the first time, his ability to ignite a room simply with his presence. He was that electrifying.
“Sorry to be late everyone, but the traffic from London was insane,” she heard him say.
Prudence laughed as she embraced him.
“I was about to send out a search party for you. You’re never late.”
William returned Prudence’s hug, lifting her off her feet. He set her back down with a broad grin.
“You’re beaming like a bride already,” he said.
He turned to Stavros and shook his hand enthusiastically. “Stavros, great to see you again, old chap, especially on an occasion such as this. You’re finally making an honest woman out of our Prudence, eh?"
Stavros responded with a booming laugh.
Other members of William’s family greeted him and Prudence introduced him to the wedding planner, officiating minister and the members of the bridal party whom he did not know.
He flashed his heart-stopping smile, shook hands and shared hugs all around. Then he spotted Barbara and stopped cold. Their gazes met and locked.
As he made his way to her, Barbara stood up to get prepared. She had rehearsed so many times how she would act when she met him that she now automatically fell into character.
She smiled warmly at him as though he was a long lost friend.
“William,” she said. “What a pleasure to see you again.”
She extended a hand but her heart seemed to leap into her throat when he ignored the genteel offer and, instead, enveloped her in a hug. She felt her whole body instantly stiffen in response. This wasn’t part of the plan – it wasn’t supposed to go like this.
William held her in his warm embrace and after several moments a remarkable thing happened: she inhaled his citrusy, crisp cologne and began to relax. As she enjoyed the feel of his powerful body against hers, her hands slid around his back.
After what seemed like an eternity, he released her and stepped back, looking deep into her eyes.
“I was so sorry to hear about your husband, Barbara. I wanted to call you, but I didn’t think I should intrude.”
The compassion she saw in his eyes both surprised and moved her. She felt such a strong urge to bury herself in his arms again that she took a step away from him.
“Thank you. I received the wreath. I hope you got my thank you note. I appreciated the gesture.”
He shrugged. “It was the least I could do.”
Just then, the two members of the bridal party they were awaiting arrived and the wedding planner proceeded to take them through their paces.
Barbara tried valiantly to pay attention to the proceedings, but it proved almost impossible. She couldn’t stop thinking about William. The last time she had seen him he had been engaged. She didn’t notice a wedding band now. Did that mean he hadn’t gotten married? Or perhaps he’d gotten married and then divorced. Or maybe he was still engaged. Or maybe he was single and unattached.
She groaned inwardly as dull pain pushed its way into her head. What did it matter if William was single or not? Not one iota. That was what.
She began to wonder just how she was going to get through the next couple of days with her sanity intact when she heard the wedding planner announce that she and William would be paired off for the wedding procession.
Barbara’s stomach did a back flip. She turned to William, who had drawn closer to her side, and positioned himself so that he was standing to her right, in preparation for the rehearsal.
“What just happened?” she whispered.
He threw her an amused glance. “Weren’t you paying attention? The wedding planner said the bridesmaids and groomsmen will be paired according to height and that since we are the tallest male and female then I will be your escort.”
His grin, Barbara noted, looked a lot like the cat who ate the canary.
Following the rehearsal, dinner was served at the long table in the great room. Barbara deliberately chose to sit as far away from William as possible, on the same side of the table, so that she didn’t have to spend the meal avoiding his hypnotic eyes.
The next morning was a flurry of activity in preparation for the wedding later that afternoon. As Barbara prepared herself for the ceremony she prayed to God for help. Her emotions were running high. She still felt such a strong attraction to William that she reasoned it must be because she had only recently lost her husband and, therefore, was very vulnerable.
Barbara and the other three bridesmaids and the maid of honor were dressed in emerald green, Greek inspired, silken maxi gowns. In true Prudence fashion, the elegant dresses had unique differences. They all featured tapered waists and lush draping folds of fabric but the styles ranged from one shoulder, to sweetheart necklines, to spaghetti strapped to strapless. The hairstyles were similar; curled and then painstakingly pinned up and decorated with tiny flowers.
As lovely as they looked though, the bride outshone them all. To Barbara, Prudence had never looked more beautiful. Her dress was white silk satin. It had a high waist and tight bodice with embroidered brocade and jeweled details that covered most of the top and left shoulder of the dress. Her hair was styled in an elaborate up-do accentuated by a Greek-styled crystal and pearl triple headband.
When the bridal party came together in the room just adjacent to the Saloon, the visual effect was extraordinary. The groomsmen outfits, black tuxedos with green waistcoats, complemented what the ladies wore. Like the ladies’ dresses there were variations in the patterns of the gentlemen’s emerald green ties.
Hans Zimmer and Lisa Gerrard’s Now We are Free began to play. That was the cue for the wedding party to commence the procession up the aisle. Barbara took William’s arm and forced herself to exhale. She put one foot in front of the other and tried not to focus on how handsome he looked or how good he smelled or how wonderful she felt as he walked beside her.
The reception, which followed the ceremony, was held in the gardens under a huge, tastefully-decorated tent. Barbara found herself seated next to William at the table reserved for the bridal party. During the meal he engaged her in conversation and gradually she began to relax and let down her guard.
At the end of the meal, the lights were dimmed and the bride and groom had their first dance to Sade’s By Your Side. As she watched that handsome couple, so in love, dancing cheek to cheek, Barbara felt tears burn her eyes as she remembered the first dance she had shared with Gerald at their wedding.
Ray LaMontagne’s You Are the Best Thing began to play and several couples joined the bride and groom on the dance floor.
William watched Barbara as he sipped his martini thoughtfully. “Why so pensive?” he asked.
She shrugged as she watched the couples and tapped her fingers to the beat of the music. There was no way she was going to share with him how lonely she felt at that moment.
“I’ve got a secret to share with you,” he whispered.
“What’s that?”
“You’re the most beautiful woman here tonight.”
The finger tapping stilled as Barbara tried to come up with a response that was light and witty and didn’t give away the racing of her heart. Before she could speak Sinatra’s The Way You Look Tonight began to play.
“See, even Frank agrees with me,” William teased.
She couldn’t contain the laughter that erupted from her lips.
“You are too much, William Lamport. No woman is more beautiful than Prudence tonight,” she replied.
“Maybe not to Stavros. For me the most beautiful woman here is you.”
Her heart continued to beat like a bass drum in her chest and for one crazy moment she felt like bolting from the table. Her emotions wrestled between missing Gerald on one hand and trying to resist William on the other. It had suddenly become too much to take.
“Join me in the waltz,” he whispered urgently.
“How do you know I can waltz?” she asked, distracted from her thoughts for a second.
“I saw you on that dancing reality show a few years back. What’s it called again?”
“Dancing with the Stars,” she supplied, allowing a slight smile to play around her lips. “You watch reality shows? I never took you for the type.”
He stared at her for several beats then he shrugged in a matter-of-fact way.
“I have watched everything you’ve been in.”
Barbara’s breath caught.
“Everything?” she eventually squeaked.
“Everything. So, will you do me the honor of dancing with me tonight, Miss Dickson?”
Barbara thought about his invitation. What was the worst that could happen? It was just a dance.
“Okay, but just one dance.”
He grinned in triumph. “Okay, this song’s about to finish. Shall we see what else the DJ’s going to play or should we request another waltz-appropriate song?”
“Let’s wait and see what he plays and choose the dance to suit.”
William agreed and soon the next song was Dean Martin’s Ain’t That a Kick in the Head.
Memories of what a great dancer William was rushed to Barbara’s mind. As she listened to the beat of the music she began to feel anticipation at the prospect of dancing with him.
“Okay, Mr. Dance Expert, which dance do we do for this one?”
He listened to the song for a few seconds then his gaze met hers and he said with authority, “Foxtrot.”
He held out an inviting hand to her.
Without a word Barbara stood and slid her hand into his and allowed him to lead her to the dance floor. When they began to do the foxtrot some of the others stopped dancing to watch them, fascinated. Soon, everyone on the dance floor shifted slightly to allow them room to maneuver. Barbara and William acknowledged the gesture by fully utilizing the space.
“That was amazing,” Barbara said, laughing breathlessly when the dance was over.
“Wasn’t it, though?” He pulled her towards him as the next song, Adele’s Rolling in the Deep began to play.
“What now?” she asked him, with a growing interest she hadn’t expected.
“Rumba.”
As they danced the rumba, which didn’t require as much room as the Foxtrot, the other couples rejoined them on the dance floor. By the time Tom Odell’s Grow Old with Me rolled around, Barbara was having such a good time she forgot that she and William were no longer a couple and could never be one again.
“If I knew I was going to be doing so much dancing I would have worn more appropriate shoes,” she confided near his ear, referencing the three-inch high, strappy heels she wore.
He laughed. “You can always take them off if it comes to that.”
She giggled. “Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that.”
The song finished and they paused in anticipation of the next one, standing close to each other.
Al Green’s Let’s Stay Together started to play.
“Sounds like a Rumba again,” William said.
As she listened to the words of the song, a lump formed in Barbara’s throat and she came back to reality with a thud. What was she doing?! This wasn’t some fairy tale. She wasn’t Cinderella and William wasn’t Prince Charming. He was the man who had devastated her and if she allowed him to he could do it again.
She pulled away from him.
He instantly stopped dancing. “What’s wrong?”
“I can’t do this,” she muttered before she turned and fled the dance floor.
She ran until she found herself at one of the ponds on the property. Not caring that her dress could get soiled, she sank onto the soft grass, dropped her head into her hands and fought back tears. She took several deep breaths to calm herself then she drew her hands down to her mouth and created a steeple with them, “Lord, Jesus,” she prayed. “Please help me. I don’t want to fall apart. Not now. Not here.”
She heard a sound and when she looked up she saw that William was standing over her. He quietly sat on the ground beside her. Several minutes ticked by.
“Was it something I said?” he finally asked.
“I think you know what it was.”
“Was it hearing our song again?” he asked.
She gave a short, mirthless laugh.
“Our song? You say that like we had something real.”
“It was real to me.”
“Is that why you dumped me?”
He was quiet as he seemed to search for the best answer. “Dumped you? Within the context of what happened that term’s a little dramatic, don’t you think?”
His calm response was driving her insane. She wanted to provoke him to be honest with her.
“What would you prefer me to say – that you erased a mistake? Perhaps I should say that you set me straight. After all how could I have been stupid enough to believe that the aristocratic William Lamport would seriously want to marry a commoner like me?”
Again he didn’t react. He watched her in cool silence while she struggled to regain her composure.
Finally, he broke the uncomfortable standoff.
“I see that you still haven’t forgiven me for what happened. You don’t understand why I made the decision I did, do you?”
“What do you want from me, William?” she asked wearily. “Why do you care whether I’ve forgiven you or not? By tomorrow, we will return to our own lives and I won’t see you again. There’s no point to this.”
His voice had an alluring tone as he moved closer. “What if I said that I don’t want that to happen, that I don’t want you to walk out of my life ever aga
in?”
That spiel sounded so familiar Barbara was tempted to fall for it again. She began to feel short of breath like there was not enough air. She wondered vaguely if this was how a panic attack felt.
“I’d say that you had your chance and you made your choice.”
She stumbled to her feet and announced, “I’m leaving.”
William jumped up and grabbed her arm. That had done the trick. He no longer looked like Mr. Sangfroid. He looked like Mr. Desperate.
“Barbara, I made the only decision I felt that I could; the one that I thought was best. Walking away from you was the hardest choice I have ever had to make in my life. It broke my heart to let you go.”
She searched his eyes. They seemed so sincere. Was it possible that he believed what he was saying? But no, it didn’t matter. When Gerald died, she had promised herself that she would not go through the heartache of failed romance again. It was too hard. She would remain single and dedicate herself to serving God.
“No. Don’t say that…please!”
She reached out her free hand and touched his mouth, as though to silence him.
It turned out to be her second tactical error for the night – the first had been agreeing to dance with him. She instantly withdrew her hand as she felt searing heat rush through it.
William was quick as he caught her hand again and turned the palm to his mouth and kissed it.
“Barbara, I have never stopped wanting you, never stopped loving you.”
Her heart screeched to a halt at his words.
“William,” she gasped.
He leaned forward and kissed her. She resisted, but only for a second. When his soft lips caressed hers and nudged them open, her arms crept around his neck and urged him closer.
They kissed passionately for a long time. When they finally separated, breathless, he looked deep into her eyes.
“Barbara…Sweetheart…I’ve missed you so much.”
“Oh, Wills…” she sighed as she ran a hand through his hair.
“You’re free,” he murmured. “We’re both free. We can finally be together.”
It was at that moment that Barbara recalled the reason she was free. Her eyes widened and her hand flew to her throat. Her husband had just died and here she was locked in the arms of another man. Guilt washed over her as she realized that she could barely remember what Gerald had looked like as she stared into William’s eyes.
The Royal Couple: A Christian Romance (Royals Book 1) Page 3
