by Loki Renard
“It would be in a plastic bag in your case,” the woman says, cold as ice. She looks right through me. I don’t exist to her, not really. I’m just a thing. Something to own. A tool to use. That’s how it has always been. That’s how it always will be. Nothing can save me from this place and these people.
A hand descends on my shoulder. The doctor has been holding me for a while, but now he is comforting me. His touch makes me flinch at first. I’m not expecting it. Usually when someone touches me, there’s force behind it. The doctor’s touch is gentle. There’s empathy there, like he knows I’m in pain.
“It’s okay.” His warm, dark eyes settle on me. A handsome smile breaks through the clouds of my anger. It doesn’t dissipate it, but it does help a little. It makes it possible for me to stand here without screaming.
“It’s not okay,” I growl.
It has never been okay.
He doesn’t get angry at my growling. He doesn’t try to argue me out of it either. He just smiles at me, not a smirking grin like so many of these assholes have, but a kind look which makes me feel, just for the briefest of moments, like maybe this could be okay one day.
“Return Miss Electra to her room,” the Head orders.
“Hang on,” the man with the nice eyes intervenes.
“You have a problem, Doctor Ares?”
“That’s your name! Doctor Ares!” I exclaim as the Head turns her gaze on him. It doesn’t do much to him. Just rolls off his big, mellow body.
“This girl had a razor blade in her mouth, and she was handled fairly roughly. I’d like to ensure she hasn’t done herself any damage.”
It’s just because he’s a doctor. I guess that’s why he feels the need to care when nobody else does. My heart sinks a little. I was stupid enough to think maybe he cared. That’s never going to happen.
Disciplinary Medicine
Electra
My failed escape attempt ends in the medical bay. I kind of figured it might, but I thought I’d be more seriously injured when it did. Instead of being stretchered in unconscious, I’m marched in, hands cuffed behind my back. Tyko has me now, of course. I’m never going to be rid of that asshole. That bitch, the Head, insists on having him supervise me.
The doctor washes his hands, puts a pair of surgical gloves on and turns back to me.
“Let’s see how you’re doing, young lady,” he says with that casual, professional smile. I’m really not used to people speaking to me this way. I don’t know how to take it.
“Terrible,” I say, going for honesty.
“Mhm, well, you know how to get yourself in trouble, that’s for sure,” he murmurs. “I’m going to check your mouth for cuts. You really shouldn’t put razor blades in there.”
“Rather accidentally eat a razor blade than stay here one more day,” I say, bluntly.
Those kind eyes darken with concern, but it’s not me he talks to next. “Is she under full care? Emotional? Mental?”
“She doesn’t need it,” Tyko says. “This is just how she is.”
“This isn’t how anyone is,” the doctor says gruffly.
He’s wrong. This is how I am. This is how they want me to be. I’m not supposed to care for my own wellbeing. I’m not supposed to want to live. I’m supposed to exist, taking one breath after another for the purposes of their agenda.
“Is her mouth bleeding?” Tyko interrupts. He’s getting impatient and concerned. I realize, suddenly, that this doctor doesn’t know about me at all. He doesn’t know where I came from. He doesn’t know what I am. He’s not one of them.
“Open up,” Doctor Ares says. I open my mouth and let him look. I can taste blood, but I don’t know if its mine or someone else’s, and I don’t really care.
He has a look around, swabbing the inside of my cheeks with his gloved finger. It’s weird, to have his finger inside my mouth. If it was anyone else, I’d be doing my best to bite it right off. But Doctor Ares tried to help me. He might be the first person who ever has, so I let him conduct his examination and allow him to pull his finger away scot free.
“You don’t seem to have cut yourself badly,” he says. “But don’t do that again. It is incredibly dangerous in so many ways.”
I smirk and shake my head. Everything here is dangerous. Including me.
“Young lady, I expect to be taken seriously.”
His voice lowers, and his gaze becomes more intense. I find myself responding to his energy, his calm dominance which is nothing like the other men here.
“Or what?”
The question escapes me before I can stop it.
“Or you’ll be given a good spanking,” he winks. “No more escape attempts. It’s not that bad here.”
It is that bad here, and worse, but he doesn’t know that. The threat of a spanking is laughable, makes me giggle. If only he knew what happened to me, how I was treated, he wouldn’t threaten me with that.
“I’m taking her back into custody,” Tyko says. “Let’s go, Electra.”
The doctor doesn’t look happy about it, but what can he do? What can any of us do? We’re all just the Head’s pawns. Even Tyko, asshole that he is, doesn’t really have a choice. We all live and die by that woman’s whim.
“I’d like to see her back in three days,” Doctor Ares says.
“Why?” Tyko sounds more pissed off than ever.
“Check up,” the doctor says, folding his arms over his chest. I look between them. The doctor doesn’t look like the sort of man to hurt anybody - but he is physically taller and broader than Tyko, and there’s something in his eye which isn’t nearly as kind when he looks at my handler as it is when his gaze falls on me.
For the first time in perhaps forever, I feel protected. Someone is on my side. It’s a nice feeling, even though I know it’s a temporary and probably illusory one. He tried to help me the first time I saw him and nothing changed. Why would it change this time ? He’s not being nice to me because of me. He’s being nice to me because he’s a nice guy. He won’t last long here.
“Yeah, alright,” Tyko says, tugging me out of the room.
He hurries me away from the medical bay like the place is on fire. The doctor has made him nervous. I don’t know why, but I can tell.
“You little bitch,” he starts in on me when he’s sure we’re far enough away that no handsome doctors can overhear him. “You fucked up bad today, girl. You’re not going to see daylight for a very long time.”
“Fuck you,” I curse right back at him. “You got sloppy, dickhead.”
“I gave you a little bit of freedom and you threw it back in my face, you mean,” he growls back, giving me a shake. “Goddammit, Electra, when the hell are you going to accept that you work here?”
“Uhm, quarter past fuck you?”
That is not the answer he wanted. Tyko probably isn’t actually a bad guy. I make him one. He takes the bulk of my bullshit, and it’s a lot for anyone to take. But I don’t give a fuck about him, just like he doesn’t really give a fuck about me. He hurts me because it is easier than treating me like a person, so I hurt him right back.
“Don’t you fucking dare breathe a word to that doc,” Tyko says, dragging me roughly. “He doesn’t know what you are, and he wouldn’t give a fuck about you if he did. After today, you’re going to be locked down so fucking hard you’re not going to be able to move a goddamn muscle without my permission.”
We swear at one another all the way back to the cell, where he keeps his word. My hands are shackled to the bench seat. My feet are shackled to the floor. And then I’m left, sitting there, still tasting blood, cursing my stupid and utterly ill-fated escape attempt.
“You caused quite a disturbance today.”
I look up to see that the Head is standing outside my barred cage. She looks pissed. As usual. I don’t know if the woman is even capable of smiling. I reckon she might have been engineered to look and act like a robot. Maybe she thinks it is intimidating to go around with a face like a brick wall
.
I bite the inside of my cheek to keep myself quiet. I know better than to curse at the Head. She really doesn’t like it. And she’s a lot crueler than Tyko. He just hits me. She comes up with much more creative consequences.
“I seem to have to keep reminding you that I didn’t need to pull you out of the program you were in,” she says. “I’m trying to give you a chance here, but you’re making that increasingly difficult.”
I say nothing. Chance? I’ve never been given a chance. I was born without one. I was made to be a disposable warrior. I was never loved. I might as well have been a plant in a pot for all anyone involved with me ever cared.
“Maybe you shouldn’t.”
I tend to be honest. Bald truth comes naturally to me. Lying is for people who know how society works, who think they can manipulate others. That’s not my forte. I know how to curse and to kill and not much else.
Her lips thin as she presses them together.
“What is it going to take to get through to you, Electra?”
A good spanking. The thought drifts through my mind, in the doctor’s voice. It makes me smirk slightly. There’s nothing that can get through to me. I was born broken. Made that way on purpose. This bitch knows that as well as I do.
Tyko reappears. I thought he was off licking his wounds, hiding from the woman who makes every guy in this place shit themselves. He hasn’t come back empty handed. He has a syringe in one of his dirty mitts, and a mask in the other.
“Excuse me, ma’am.” He steps past the Head and enters the cage with me. I can’t move, but I can see fear in his eyes. It makes me want to burst out laughing. Here I am, damn near half his size, chained up like an animal, and he’s showing undeniable signs of being absolute shit-scared of me.
The mask is one designed to go over my mouth to stop me from biting, or talking. I’ve had it applied before, and I hate it. Tyko slaps it on over my lips, pulls the rubber ties up over the back of my head and secures them tightly.
The idiot has chained me down in a way that makes it impossible for him to get to his preferred injection site, so he has to unshackle me from the wall and the floor. I still have cuffs on, and my feet still have a length of chain between them, but now he can sit next to me and bend me over his lap.
My pants come down enough to expose my left cheek. The Head is watching as Tyko slips the needle into my buttock and pushes the plunger down, filling me with the drugs they think keep me stable, but in truth only make me quiet. I can rage without lifting a finger thanks to them.
For a second, the position reminds me of what the doctor threatened me with. He said he’d spank me. I snort into my mask gag as Tyko pushes me off his thighs and back into position. He’s just made a huge fucking mistake. Before he can shackle me down again, I kick out. His head is low because he was just bending down to hook my feet into the floor ring again. I catch him with both feet and send him sprawling, and then the chain becomes not a shackle for me, but a weapon against him. I jump after him, my legs going either side of his head, the heavy chain pressing against his windpipe. Fuck this guy. Fuck them all. I twist my body, turning the chain around his neck, wrapping it around as I roll on the floor like a gator with its prey in a death grip. He starts to make a gurgling sound as he’s deprived of oxygen. This might actually kill him. I don’t care.
The Head called for backup the moment I leaped from the bench, but it’s going to take them at least thirty seconds to get in here, and in those thirty seconds, I can do a lot of damage.
Tyko is starting to go blue by the time the others arrive, their batons drawn. They’re shouting, but I can’t shout back. The mask makes me silent and the drugs he injected me with make me slow. That doesn’t stop them from hitting me hard and indiscriminately. The wood blasts against my arms, my back, my legs until they drag me off my prey bloodied and bruised and laughing into the mask he thought would make him safe. None of them will ever be safe as long as they keep me here. I’ll be healed from their blows in a matter of minutes, but they’ll feel my wrath forever.
“Get him to the medical bay,” the Head orders. “Now!”
They carry Tyko out. He’s breathing on his own. He’s fine. He’s barely hurt. But he will think twice before he jabs me with that shit again.
The Head is looking at me with cold fury. She thinks she’s so strong. She thinks she’s the boss of everyone. But she doesn’t dare come into the cage herself. She knows what I’d do to her. And she knows I’d enjoy it.
“It doesn’t have to be this way, Electra,” she says. She’s trying to stay calm, but I can see the way her nostrils are flaring with adrenaline and anger. I know what effect I have on her. She’s using the name she insists belongs to me, but I don’t recognize.
I can’t speak. The mask won’t let me. It wouldn’t matter if I could. It does have to be this way. This is the only way I have to express myself. These are the only moments of freedom I get, when violence explodes through me and I am no longer their captive, but their tormentor.
“Get in there and secure her, please,” she says, addressing her backup goons. This place has an unending supply of muscular male meat. I bet she fucks all of them.
They saw what I did to Tyko, but they still don’t hesitate to come in. I guess they think they have strength in numbers. I don’t know what it is going to take to convince these people to just get rid of me. Three men come into the cell and pick me up, holding me so securely I can’t move as they put me back into the chains, feet secured to floor, arms secured to wall. Then the Head steps into the cell with me. Easy for her, now that she’s in absolutely no danger at all. I can’t even say something she doesn’t want to hear.
She bends over in front of me, her eyes locked with mine. I feel an involuntary chill run down my spine. There’s something about this woman. Something which makes pain and fear spike inside me. It’s the pure control she has. It’s knowing that she decides if I live or die, and knowing that she won’t grant me either life or death. I am existing in this twilight state of being a prisoner until she breaks me, or I break her.
“I’m not going to let you go,” she says calmly. “I don’t care what you do. I don’t care who you hurt. I don’t care if you have to be chained up for the rest of your life, you’re not leaving here. This is it for you, Electra. The sooner you accept that, the better.”
I do not intend on losing the battle of wills with this woman. I may be her prisoner for now, but I have nothing but time. I can wait. Maybe I get to her today. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe years from now. But one of these days, it’s going to be just her and me, and what I did to Tyko and the others is nothing compared to what I will do to her.
Tom
The last person I expected to see was agent Tyko back in my medical bay, especially not in the shape he’s in. Big bruises are evident around his neck. I can see the places where links of chain must have dug into his skin and muscle. It looks painful, though he will survive. I work to get him some pain relief and treat him for the swelling, make sure his airway isn’t seriously damaged or in danger of collapse.
His injuries are eye-openingly vicious. This isn’t like what she did in the medical bay, or by the Pit. These injuries could be catastrophically incompatible with continued living. She tried to kill him, and she did so brutally. I feel a certain amount of pity for the agent, who is clearly a very long way out of his depth with the woman he’s trying to handle. But that pity has its limits.
“She did this to you?” I ask the question once I’m certain he’s out of danger. He is going to hurt, probably for a long time, but he is going to live.
“She’s a freak,” he rasps. “There’s something wrong with her. She’s…” he takes a deep breath. “She’s a fucking monster.”
I have some experience with young ladies regarded as monsters. Mary was no picnic when Ken first met her, but she was never like this. It’s hard to rationalize the pretty little thing with the razor blade smile as being seriously dangerous, but I suppose that�
�s half her appeal. Places like this do well with people who seem unassuming, yet are much more lethal than they appear.
“Why is she here if she’s so dangerous? You’re training her?”
“The Head,” he curses. “She wants this girl on our side.”
“Better on our side than someone else’s, I suppose.”
“She’s a fucking freak,” he coughs. “She’s never going to be anything but a danger. The Head should have you put her down.”
“That’s not really what I do.”
“It should be,” he growls.
He’s angry and ashamed, I can see that. After all, he just got beaten up by a smallish girl. That could be a reputation killer in here if the story gets out. No matter how much of a monster she might be, she’s still a girl, and men like Tyko live their lives in the assumption that nobody smaller or weaker than them can ever take them down.
“What shape is she in, if this is what you look like?”
“I don’t know, and I don’t care.”
“Fair enough. You take this script for anti-inflammatories, and I’ll go and check on your sparring partner. I’m assuming she must have sustained some injuries in the altercation. You’re good to go. Just take it easy, and stay away from any aggressive recruits for a few days.”
“You can’t see her. She’s in the sealed section.”
At that moment, the intercom crackles into life. “Doctor Ares to sealed section. Doctor Ares, sealed section immediately.”
“Be careful,” Tyko warns as I grab my bag. “You can’t trust that girl. Not ever. She’ll kill every single one of us.”
I thank him for the warning and head into the area which is heavily guarded and highly restricted. I find the Head waiting for me just beyond the first set of doors. She does not look to be in a good mood.
“You’ve met Miss Electra,” she says, not bothering with any form of pleasantry.
“I have.”
