by Pat Warren
“Thanks. I try.” Rachel liked Janie, who was about her age and married to another deputy, Reed Austin. She managed the Hip Hop with an iron fist in a velvet glove, firm but always kind.
Janie shifted her attention to Rachel. “You’re looking a little peaked, though. Can I bring you some coffee or tea while you check out the menu?”
Her morning coffee hadn’t set well but maybe some tea would settle her nervous stomach. “Tea would be great,” she said. As Janie left, the loving couple across the café found something irresistibly funny. She looked over at them and saw Cade wave. He said something to the women he was with and they all walked over to Rachel’s table.
“Afternoon, Rachel. We meet again.” Cade put an arm around the pretty brunette and said, “This is my wife, Leanne, and her sister, Daisy Harding.”
The new bride extended her hand and shook Rachel’s. “Cade tells me he just met you over at the sheriff’s office. Would you like to join us?”
Rachel smiled at their kind offer, but declined. “I wouldn’t want to ruin your lunch if the baby wakes up.” She nodded toward the car seat and the sleeping infant.
Leanne peered over. “She’s so beautiful. And I admire you for taking care of her. I didn’t know Christina, but I’m sure she’s resting peacefully now, knowing you’re looking after her daughter.” The genuine emotion in Leanne’s voice touched Rachel.
“Thank you. I hope so.” Tears welled in Rachel’s eyes, threatening to spill over. She was so emotional these days.
Leanne touched her hand. “Listen, if you ever want to talk, call me. I have a sister, too, and I can only imagine what you’re going through. Let me know if I can do something for you. Anything.”
Rachel looked at Daisy. Her hair was pulled back in a twist, which, she suspected, made the quiet woman look older than her years. “Are you from Whitehorn?” she asked.
Daisy shook her head. “No, I’m just visiting my sister for the holidays.”
Leanne reached out an arm and hugged her sister. “Cade and I are delighted she’s here. We don’t get to see nearly enough of her. You know, when I was younger, Daisy took such good care of me. Now I think the best Christmas present I could get is to see her meet a good man—” she looked up at Cade “—and be as happy as I am.”
“You keep working on her,” Rachel said with a grin. Don’t give up on her, she thought. Like I did my sister.
Cade, Leanne and Daisy, after offering their babysitting services, said their goodbyes and returned to their table, just as Janie came by to take Rachel’s order.
“What’s the soup of the day?” Soup was about all Rachel felt her stomach could handle.
“Chicken noodle.”
“I’ll have a bowl, please, Janie.”
“Coming right up.” She strolled off, her blond ponytail swinging, just as the door opened and Ellis Montgomery walked in.
Carefully removing his Stetson, Ellis smoothed back his ebony hair as he glanced around the café. When he spotted his daughter at a back booth, his eyes stopped. He stared for several moments, then came to a decision and walked over. “Hello, Rachel,” he said, coming up to the booth.
“Hi, dad,” she answered quietly.
Almost unwillingly, his eyes swung to the baby, but his expression remained unchanged. “How’ve you been?”
“Fine. And you?” Talking without saying anything. To think they were reduced to this. Rachel wanted to scream.
“Fine, fine. Max is fine, too. He says he never hears from you.”
“Is that right? Well, the gossipmongers being what they are in Whitehorn, I imagine he knows where to find me, and so do you. I wouldn’t turn either of you away.” She hadn’t been able to resist the dig, after all, he’d basically turned her and an innocent child away.
Ellis shifted the Stetson in his hand, clearly uncomfortable. “I heard your investigator fellow went back home without finding out a thing the sheriff’s department didn’t already know.”
“You heard right. The case is still pending.”
“So then, he’s not coming back?” Ellis asked.
Janie arrived with a tray, preventing Rachel from answering. Placing the soup and tea fixings on the table in front of Rachel, she smiled. “Anything else I can get you, honey?”
“No, thanks, Janie. This smells good.” In reality, the smell was making her stomach queasy, or was it the tension that Ellis’s unexpected arrival had created that was chasing away her tenuous appetite? She decided to ignore her father’s last question since she really didn’t have an answer and picked up her soup spoon, praying her stomach wouldn’t rebel.
While Janie had served Rachel’s lunch, Ellis again had stared at Alyssa. “Not a thing about Christina do I see in that child,” he stated emphatically.
“If you could see her eyes open, you’d agree that they’re just like Christina’s. But aside from that, the DNA test results are back, as I’m sure the sheriff has told you. Irrefutably, that’s your granddaughter.” Rachel swallowed soup, her eyes downcast. She’d worded her statement deliberately, knowing he’d hate to hear it put that way. Too bad. He’d have to get used to the idea.
Ellis’s face reddened. “You were never difficult like Christina. You were always the good daughter. Why did you change?”
Carefully, Rachel set down her spoon and raised her eyes to her father’s face. “Change is necessary. Without change, we don’t grow and if we can’t grow, we stagnate. The truth is, I didn’t change, rather your perception of me did. I have something—no someone worth fighting for here. Someone who can’t fight for herself. You ought to try changing, too, Dad. It only hurts for a little while.”
His red face deepened to a dark burgundy, whether with outrage or embarrassment Rachel couldn’t have said. Without another word, Ellis stomped to the door and left the café.
She may have gotten the last word, Rachel thought, but she took no pleasure in shaming her father. Perhaps he’d never give up his prejudices, but she could no longer abide his intolerances. If he didn’t want anything to do with her because of Alyssa, she’d learn to live with his decision. Sooner or later, a person had to stand up for what she believed.
But Lord, it was wearying. And it left her feeling very alone. Cade and Leanne let out another peal of laughter and Rachel felt a rush of envy. To be carefree, to be married to someone you loved, to have a happy future stretching out before you. How glorious that would be.
However, she’d learned over the past two weeks since Jack had left that it’s possible to operate on a surface level with a broken heart. She had a strong will and she wasn’t about to let his departure defeat her. The last thing she wanted was that innocent baby girl to pick up on her unhappiness.
Rachel managed to finish nearly the whole bowl of soup and drink half her tea before she bundled up Alyssa, paid her check and climbed back into her rental car. Tomorrow she would call Pete Ambrose and talk with him about her future at Kaleidoscope, she decided.
She had some tough decisions to make. If she remained in Whitehorn because of Alyssa, despite not knowing how long she’d be able to keep her, she couldn’t go on not earning an income, not having a job. She’d finished nearly a dozen sketches in and around her cabin and had come up with what she felt was a good story that she’d outlined for a children’s book to go with her drawings. Some time ago, she’d met an editor at a publishing house, Donna Hines, who was always looking for the next Dr. Seuss. While Rachel had no illusions that she was that good, she honestly felt she had a chance at publication.
If she was to remain, she’d contact that woman. She also didn’t want to keep renting a cabin, she’d prefer buying a house for herself and Alyssa. And buying a car rather than renting one.
So many decisions, Rachel thought as she headed for home. And she felt so tired. Maybe, if Alyssa slept on for a while yet, she could lie down and catch a nap. Then, after a rest, she’d figure out exactly what she should do with the rest of her life.
Ten
Rachel heard someone knocking at her front door and wondered who on earth would be out and about at nine in the morning on a cold and wintry day. For a moment, she thought she might just not answer, hoping whoever it was would go away. She’d been up several times during the night with Alyssa, who was apparently teething, and she hadn’t even showered yet. To top things off, she’d just finished a soft boiled egg and toast that threatened to make a reappearance. She had to make a doctor’s appointment soon, she decided, shuffling to the door in her slippers, tying the belt of her robe more tightly around her slender frame.
She finally pulled open the door and saw Gina standing on the porch, her red hair windblown, her arms full of packages.
“I wondered where you’d be at this hour,” Gina said, smiling as her green eyes swept over Rachel, taking in the disheveled hair, the pale face. “Honey, are you sick?”
“No, no,” Rachel answered, standing aside while Gina hurried in out of the cold, dumping her bundles on the couch. “I’m getting a late start this morning. Alyssa’s teething and she kept me up half the night.” She gestured toward the packages. “What’s all this?”
“Oh, I went shopping for our baby yesterday and picked up a few things for Alyssa.”
“That’s really nice of you. Yes, she’s sleeping finally, and I hope she stays that way for a while. Come into the kitchen and I’ll put on water for tea. Or would you rather have coffee?”
“Tea’s fine,” Gina said, slipping out of the bulky winter coat that didn’t quite fit around her middle these days. Following Rachel into the kitchen, she sat at the table while Rachel fussed with the tea fixings. “I’ve been meaning to come over, but I had a cold and I didn’t want to give it to Alyssa. How is she?”
“Doing just great, according to the doctor. Growing like a weed. Up until a few days ago when this tooth started giving her trouble, she rarely cried or fussed.”
“Poor little thing must be in pain.” Gina shifted her weight, trying to sit more comfortably. “I can tell you, I’ll be glad when this one makes an appearance. I feel like a grumpy cow these days.”
Rachel shoved back her hair with both hands, wishing she’d have done more than merely run a brush through it as she sat opposite her friend. “You look wonderful,” she told Gina, meaning it. “You must be one of the eighty percent of pregnant women who glow when they’re expecting.”
“Thank you for being kind, but I’ve gained twenty-seven pounds and I feel it.” She studied Rachel’s face, wondering if there was more amiss here than a little disturbed sleep. Whenever she’d seen Rachel in the past, she’d always been beautifully dressed, her complexion enviable, her hair shining. Now she looked like something the cat dragged home. “Honey, I’m going to be blunt here. You don’t look very well. Does this malaise have anything to do with my brother, the jerk?”
Gina had talked with Jack only once since he’d left so abruptly without informing her. Their conversation had been brief and unsatisfactory. Short, curt replies weren’t Jack’s usual style yet when she’d asked him if anything was wrong, he’d nearly taken off her head, another out-of-character reaction. Which was just one of the reasons that had prompted this visit.
“I don’t know what you mean,” Rachel answered, averting her eyes and getting up to pour boiling water into a red teapot. “Jack left because the case was at a standstill and he had work back in L.A. waiting for him. He’d met with Sloan often and, although Christina’s murder is unsolved and the case is still open, there was nothing more Jack could do here.” She’d rehearsed this answer knowing she’d be asked.
Carefully, she carried two cups over, set down the pot, the sugar bowl and a small dish of sliced lemons before resuming her seat. But she still didn’t meet Gina’s sharp-eyed gaze.
Gina wasn’t buying it. “Tell me what really happened, Rachel.” She placed her hand over her friend’s and squeezed. “I’m not just being nosy. I love my brother, but I know he can be a real jerk.”
Rachel felt the tears well up and wiped them away, shaking her head, unable to say more for fear she’d surely start to cry.
Gina sighed. “You fell in love with him, didn’t you? And, let me guess, he warned you not to because he’d one day walk away like our dad did. Am I close?”
Rummaging in the pocket of her robe, Rachel found a tissue and dabbed at her eyes. “Pretty close. Has he done this before?”
“Probably, but I haven’t met most of the women he dated. To tell you the truth, he never dates anyone more than once or twice. When he moved in here with you, I was shocked. He’s never done that before.”
That was small comfort to Rachel right now. “It’s my fault, mostly. He warned me, like you said. I even told him that I’d more or less been dumped at the altar myself and wasn’t looking for a serious relationship. But…I fell for him anyhow. I don’t think it’s possible to control these things, although I used to think you could.”
“I’m living proof that you can fall in love in an evening, an instant, so don’t go beating yourself up over that.”
Rachel sniffled into her tissue. “All along, I expected him to leave and, finally, he did.” She poured the now steeped tea, added sugar and lemon to hers.
“Our father did walk out and leave us,” Gina said. “It was really hard on Mom, but it was harder still on Jack because he was only twelve and suddenly he was the man of the house. Mom is one of those helpless females who can’t seem to cope without a man in her life to give her direction and purpose. She more or less sat around for six years and let Jack work two and sometimes three part-time jobs plus go to school. I was only four when Dad left, too young to help much. Jack was breadwinner for us all and father to me. He was wonderful. But it took a toll on him. He’s been wary of having to live like that again, I guess.”
Rachel gripped the cup in both hands so tightly her fingers turned white. “I’ve heard that story, Gina, and as far as I’m concerned, your father walking out on his family does not mean that one day Jack will do the same. It’s not an inherited gene, like a tendency toward brown eyes. So what, now he walks away before there’s a full family unit, so he won’t feel the urge to go later? That’s bull.”
Rachel ran out of steam and took several sips of tea. “He’s like a lot of men, afraid of commitment. I just happen to have been unlucky enough to get involved with two like that.”
“Now that I think about it, you’re probably right. Jack’s always guarded his freedom and acted as if getting married would be the end of everything. However, if it’s any consolation, I think he loves you, too.”
Rachel frowned. “Why would you think that?”
“Not by what he said, but by what he didn’t say when I last talked to him. He’s evasive, which he’s never been with me. And he’s very grumpy and short-tempered. I believe he’ll wake up and realize what he’s lost and—”
Gina stopped in midsentence when Rachel suddenly jumped up from the table and ran to the bathroom, her hand over her mouth. Caught off guard, Gina sat still, pondering.
A full five minutes later Rachel came out, her face chalk-white, her hands trembling. “I’m sorry. The tea didn’t set well, I guess. I’ve got a touchy stomach.”
Gina didn’t speak, just stared at her friend. Finally she decided she’d risk the question. “Rachel, could you be pregnant?”
Rachel burst into tears, her hands going up to cover her face, her slender shoulders shaking as she cried.
Gina moved her chair closer, slipping her arm around Rachel, pulling her close. “Shh, it’s all right. We can work this out.” Her busy mind whirling this way and that, Gina let her cry it out.
Finally, Rachel stopped, rose to get a box of tissues from the counter, and blew her nose. “I’m sorry,” she said. “You must think I’m terrible, pregnant by a man I’ve only known a few weeks.”
“Don’t be silly. I told you the story of Trent and me, so who am I to judge? How long have you known?”
“I guess I’m really stupid. I’ve b
een throwing up and queasy for weeks, but I thought it was just nerves. Only yesterday did I sit down and figure it out.”
“You haven’t been to the doctor?”
“No, but I planned on going soon.”
“Of course, Jack doesn’t know.”
Rachel’s head came up. “No, and don’t you tell him. I mean it.”
“I promise I won’t. But you should, Rachel.”
She shook her head adamantly. “Look, he made it perfectly clear that he had to move on. If he didn’t want me alone, then he surely wouldn’t want me with a child. You remember you told me you didn’t want Trent to know you were expecting because he might think you were trying to blackmail him into a relationship?”
“Yes, I remember. But it’s Jack’s child.”
“Yes, I know that. But I can manage quite well raising the baby without him or any man. And I can take care of Alyssa, as well. Honestly, Gina, Jack didn’t ask to be a father and he’d probably hate it if he knew. This way, at least he doesn’t hate me. I’ll handle it on my own. I’ve got investments. We won’t starve. The last thing I want is some man to feel responsible for me or my baby.”
Gina sat back, admiring her enormously. “You’re really something, you know.” Her busy mind was racing toward a probable solution. “Any chance that the guy who left you at the altar may come looking for you?”
“Richard Montrose?” Rachel sent her an incredulous look. “None whatsoever, nor would I want him if he did. Honestly, I don’t want you worrying about us. We’ll be fine.”
Finishing the last of her tea, Gina rose. “I’ve got to run, but I’ll be back.” She leaned down to hug Rachel. “Remember, call me if you need anything. We’re family.”
Rachel gave her the first real smile she’d genuinely felt in ages. “Thanks for that.” She walked her to the door, gesturing toward the packages. “And for all those. My goodness, you’re quite the little shopper.”
“I love buying baby things.” Gina struggled back into her coat and opened the door. “Don’t be a stranger. Call me after you’ve been to see the doctor, promise?”
