by Marika Ray
"But you won't forgive me, is that it?" The hardness was back in her eyes, dousing the hope that flared.
"It's not a matter of forgiving you. I'll always forgive you, you know that. What I won't do is continue to let you, or anyone else, treat me badly." I was tired of having this conversation. Maybe one day it would get through her thick skull.
She closed her eyes, took a deep breath and continued. "I know. I know I treated you badly and I'm sorry. I can promise I won't treat you like that again. I'm getting my life together. Finally. I hope one day you'll come to trust me. Can you at least keep an open mind about me?"
I'm sure coming here and apologizing, for the first time ever, took a lot of courage. I didn't know what her angle was, but I could meet her halfway and promise to give her a second chance.
"Thank you for your apology. And yes, I'll try to lock down the negativity and keep an open mind." I nodded, confirming my commitment.
A smile formed on her face, transforming her from average woman to beautiful creature. I'd missed that smile, so open and free with unrestrained happiness.
I put my hand on hers, giving her a squeeze meant to convey forgiveness, hope, and love. A small gesture to signal the start of our long journey back.
She stood up, looking ready to head out. She glanced down at the ottoman in front of the couch and promptly sat back down. Her hands shuffled the papers there, before grabbing them up in excitement.
"Are you writing a poem? A song?" She looked overly intrigued and I couldn't let her continue to read my inner most thoughts expressed on paper.
I snatched the papers out of her hands and held them to my chest. "Just playing around so I don't lose the plot dealing with teenagers all day."
She laughed, entertained by my attempt to cover my panic, I'm sure. "You're the last person who will ever 'lose the plot', Hessa. When you look up practicality in the dictionary, it pops up your picture," she said out of the side of her mouth, a wry smile in place.
"Exactly. That's why I write. To make sure I don't lose my mind. They say using both sides of your brain leads to a lower chance of mental decline later in life."
Rainna chuckled and walked to my front door. "I'm sure they do. See you soon?"
"Absolutely."
Kai
"Have you heard anything about an online dare or challenge game?" I was sitting on the beach, stretching to prepare for my run. After my disastrous talk with Hessa, I'd decided to call Jack, a detective at HB Police. I had that feeling in the pit of my stomach that something was off. It may have nothing to do with Hessa's Care Dare, but I'd bet my life there was something organized going on, causing these people to attempt dangerous stunts. It wouldn't hurt to call Jack and rope him in on it. As a precaution.
"Hmm. I don't think so, off the top of my head. Would you give me more information on what you're talking about?" Jack's voice came through the phone dead serious.
I gave him the quick version on the two saves I'd made, the wording that they used, and my suspicions about Hessa's program.
"Isn't that Bailey and Esa's new friend? The school teacher?" Jack's voice perked up.
"I think so. Wait, are they friends?" I was confused. I figured they knew each other, but friends? The woman drove me crazy in the best and worst of ways. I wasn't sure I could handle seeing her at all our group gatherings. Esa took her Beach Squad seriously. If she wanted Hessa, that girl was as good as branded.
"Yeah, I think so. Bailey was talking about their shopping trip the other day and they're planning on getting together today to run on the beach. I assumed that meant they were friends. But those girls are crazy, your guess is as good as mine. They do what they want and I'm sure they'll tell us about it later when it suits them." Jack sounded about as frustrated as I was.
Time to move the conversation on so I could get to my run and burn off my frustration. "Okay, well let me know if you hear anything about these dares. If anything else comes up on my end, I'll give you the heads-up."
"Sounds good, brother. Be safe."
I turned my phone off, stashed it in my glove box and locked my truck. I was about to walk over to the cement walkway when I spotted a gaggle of women walking on the sand down by the water. Based on the volume and cackling, it was easy to see it was the very women Jack and I were discussing.
My eyes sought out Hessa, finding her in the middle of the pack, that blonde hair up in a ponytail swinging in the wind as they walked. My gaze traveled downward, taking in the sway of those hips, the ones I'd had my hands on for too brief a moment the other night.
The sound of her laughter carried over and I could barely control my body from moving toward her. It was like every cell in my body knew I needed to be near her, while my head didn't want anything to do with another argument with her. I had always enjoyed peace and quiet, and I experienced anything but that when I was with her.
With that reminder in my head, I spun around and began jogging the opposite way. She was the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen and she was getting under my skin, but she wasn't for me.
Hessa
Today was turning out to be the oddest day ever. It started with my sister's unexpected visit and all the emotions that churned up. Then I'd gotten a text from Bailey, inviting me to join her and her friends at the beach for a jog. I'd tried to let her know there was no 'I' in jogging, before I realized there actually was one, and she insisted I come. It was the promise of frequent walking breaks and brunch afterwards that lured me in. Getting further intel on Kai from the ladies wasn't part of the decision process at all. Nope.
When I'd arrived, I realized the Beach Squad, as they called themselves, consisted of quite a few ladies. I'd met Bailey and Esa, of course, but I was also introduced to Brinley, the most stunning specimen of a woman I'd ever seen. Then there was Shasta, a pretty, middle-aged woman who owned a self-defense studio here in HB. And Autumn, who had these legs that were so gorgeous I wanted to take a picture of them as a physical example of perfection.
"Ladies, I must tell you, I don't jog much. Like at all. So, if you need to leave me, just run ahead. I'll take no offense." I was nervous surrounded by all these beauties, my self-confidence taking another hit.
"Yo, Hessa. I'm gonna lay this out straight away so there's no confusion. You're part of the Beach Squad now. We don't leave a woman behind. Period." Shasta laid a gentle hand on my shoulder, her fierce gaze telling me she wasn't joking.
I nodded. "Okay, got it." Hello, intimidating.
"I doubt you do, but you'll catch on." Shasta squeezed my shoulder and gave me a warm smile.
We started up at a slow jog pace, Autumn and Brinley leading the pack with entertaining stories about swimsuit malfunctions during volleyball games. I didn't say a word; I just focused on putting one foot in front of the other and not making a fool of myself.
Just when I thought my lungs might actually catch on fire with all the burning that was going on, Bailey called for a break. We slowed to a walk and my calves begged me to give it up already. I figured out how Autumn got those legs and I wanted no part of it. Perfection was overrated.
"Ready to pick it up again?" Brinley called out, enthusiasm dripping from every word.
"For the love..." I muttered. Esa shot me a sympathetic look.
I limped along in the back, cursing myself for ever meeting these girls. Cursing the cell phone that delivered the text inviting me here. Cursing my decision to locate to HB where these sadists lived. Why did the sand shift and give me nothing to push off of? Why did the beach go on for so long? Why were we running when society had invented automobiles, therefore negating the need for physical exertion?
Finally, the burning and huffing and puffing was so bad I had to tap out. "Sorry--girls--I can't--go--any further," I gasped out, stopping to stoop over and gulp in oxygen.
The girls all stopped and gathered around me. "No worries, girlie. I was wanting a break too. Why don't you catch your breath and we'll just walk?" Esa was sweet to offer me an out.
I looked up at them and realized no one else looked like they were about to pass out. "How the hell do you all do it? Am I really that out of shape? I can't drag my fat ass for a paltry mile run?" It was depressing. I'd be embarrassed later, once I was reassured I'd survive this torture.
"Oh hell, no." Bailey pushed her way in front of me, dragging me back up to standing. "Not one of us has a fat ass around here, and even if we did, we'd celebrate that thing. Bad asses come in all shapes and sizes, my dear. And speaking of asses. If you continue to throw shade at yours, I will kick your ass. You got me?"
"Um..."
"Leave the girl alone, B. You're scaring her." Esa wedged in and drew my attention away from Bailey. "What she's trying to say is that we're all about loving our bodies around here. We love their shapes, sizes, and quirks. We still work to be as healthy as we can, but we let go of any shame about our physical selves. Life's too short for that shit, you know?"
Shasta interjected. "You're Beach Squad now. We're a group of women who truly believe in ourselves as human beings, not just as women. We don't impose society's beauty rules on ourselves. We recognize and create our own beauty, no matter what form it comes in. We don't care to shrink down smaller. We strive to live big. We have more to offer than six-pack abs or a booty that don't stop. And I bet you do too."
I blinked. A wave crashed onto the sand, spraying mist up into the air. A seagull swooped low over our heads and skimmed the water. A child ran screaming from the water into her parent’s arms. I took it all in and let it swirl through my brain. These women, those words.
It was like a calming wave of empowerment filled up my chest cavity, leaving my heart on fire and my brain at rest. The bitch voice in my head was silent for the first time since puberty. I didn't know exercise endorphins were this intense, but maybe I'd be doing more jogging if I could feel like this again.
I began softly, my voice gaining confidence as I laid it all out there. "I felt like a fish out of water when we first started our jog. Now I know for sure I've found my tribe. You ladies are a gift and I'm blessed to be part of your group." I gave a big smile to each of them. "Thanks for pulling my head out of my fabulous ass."
"Now that's what I'm talkin' 'bout!" Bailey pulled me into a hug, then sent me down the line to hug everyone else.
I woke bright and early Monday morning, getting ready for another day teaching the bright minds of our youth. I took extra time to wear one of my new outfits picked out by Bailey, enjoying the way the tailored skirt and shirt fit my body, confident in all my curves.
When I bustled onto campus, I went straight to my classroom to make a list of which students still needed to turn in their dare approval sheets. Ten minutes before the first bell rang, my door swung open and a group of students rushed in all talking at once.
"Slow down, guys. One at a time, tell me what's going on." I held my hands up, trying to bring the excitement level down a few notches.
"Ms. Woodland. Is it true? Are you going to do the dare too?" This question came from Alessa, a bright girl in my third period English class.
"Me? Do a dare? No. That's definitely not on the table." I chuckled, wondering what she was thinking.
"But you've been dared already! Are you saying you won't do it?" Josh piped in, looking confused.
I furrowed my brow, trying to piece together what he as talking about. "I don't know what you mean, Josh. I haven't been dared."
"Yes, you have. See?" Alessa held up her iPhone, showing my own Instabook page.
The top cover photo was gone. In its place was one sentence: I DARE you, Hessa Woodland: sing one of your songs publicly. #CAREDARE
6
The blood drained from my face and my vision narrowed till all I saw was that dare staring at me, mocking me from behind a glass screen. My mind went blank and I didn't even hear the bell ring nor see the kids that rushed to take their seats. I had that horrible buzz filling my head, that feeling when you know something is horribly off and absolutely nothing good could come of this thing.
The only reason I had an Instabook account was so I could monitor the Care Dares the kids were posting about each year. They were allowed to post about it as long as they used the appropriate hashtags so school administrators and parents could follow along.
Who could have done this? Why did someone do this? Who the hell even knew I wrote songs?
"Ms. Woodland? You want us to start reading the next chapter?" The voice of my student from the first row broke into my thoughts and reminded me I had a class to teach. Get through the next four classes, then I could take my lunch break and take the first steps to figuring out what was going on.
When I sat down in the teacher's lounge, I grabbed my phone and logged into my Instabook account.
Login Failed. Please try again.
I tried three more times before I realized I wasn't going to get in. My account had been hacked, that's for sure. I created a new user account and went to my old account, reviewing the dare again. Nothing further was posted on my account, but I took a screenshot of what was there.
Then I went to the Care Dare hashtags and reviewed what the kids were posting. Since their own dares hadn't even started yet, they were mostly talking about me. Lots of speculation on who dared me and what the song thing was all about. One post even went so far as to say I was a famous singer, teaching incognito for kicks. Ha! Like a millionaire singer would teach high school English in their spare time just for fun. Perhaps my kids had a different idea of 'fun'.
I sobered quickly when I remembered the issues Kai was having. Two of his saves had mentioned being dared. It didn't have to do with my program, but I was starting to wonder what was going on since something, or someone, outside of my program had now dared me.
I thought of at least ten reasons why I shouldn't contact Kai, but in the end, my practicality won out. If my dare had anything to do with what he thought might be going on, it would be a smart move to at least let him know. And I wanted to know if he'd found out anything further. I could survive a conversation, I was sure of it.
I had my phone in hand, ready to dial the lifeguard headquarters, when I got a text from my sister.
Rainna: Had a nice time chatting the other day. You should come see my shop soon. Xoxo
I covered my mouth, eyes wide. My estranged sister was at my house just two days ago and saw my songwriting. Today, I get dared publicly to sing one of my songs. Coincidence? I didn't think so.
Hessa: Very funny stunt you pulled. How about you give me back my hacked account now?
Rainna: ??
Tessa: Just be honest. Did you hack my Instabook account?
Rainna: Hell, no. I don't do social media.
And that left me back where I started, if I trusted Rainna when she said she didn't do it. Which I didn't.
I sighed, the inevitable chafing my skin like an ill-fitting, cheap thong. I'd have to call Kai. I dialed the number listed on the City of Huntington Beach website and waited through four rings, reminding me of a rhythmic death march to my humiliation.
"Lifeguard Headquarters. How can I help you?" A perky woman answered the phone and I prayed I could leave a voicemail.
"Hello. I'm trying to reach Kai Kāne. Can you help me with that?"
"Sure, let me transfer you. If he's available, he'll answer, otherwise just leave a message."
A peppy Beach Boys song came on while I waited on hold. I'd met the lead singer at a fundraiser one time. I high-fived him...my claim to fame.
Voicemail, voicemail, voicemail... I chanted my wish, throwing it out to the universe to take care of for me.
"Kai Kāne, how can I help you?"
Dammit, universe.
"Uh, hi, Kai." Now I was rhyming. This was not starting off well. "This is Hessa Woodland."
There was a pause. I wondered if I should clarify who I was. Would he have forgotten?
"Hessa." He paused. "How did you like that macadamia hot chocolate?" His voice had deepened, gotten more int
imate.
Oh, he knew who I was.
"It was quite delicious." Oh Lord, did I really bring that up again? I wanted to forget he'd called me 'ono' even though I'd been reliving that moment for several nights in a row as I went to sleep at night.
He chuckled, the sound warm and friendly. "I'm sure it was delicious. Not that you need a reason, but what are you calling for this lovely Monday?"
"Well, I'm not sure. I had something odd happen today and I think it may be connected to those dares you were talking to me about. It could also just be my semi-criminal sister having a joke on me. But I didn't want to take any chances. I'm on my lunch break right now and have to get back to class shortly. Do you have time to talk later today?" I forced my hands to stop pulling on my sweater. We were simply two professionals talking. No need to flutter around like a scared school girl on her first date.
"It must be serious if you're calling me, admitting there might be some validity to what I was asking you about." I could practically hear the smirk on his face. "How about you come down to the beach after I get off at five. Meet me at Headquarters and wear workout clothes. That work for you?"
I sputtered. "Focus your audio. If I'm wrong, I have no problem saying I'm wrong. I just thought you might be interested in what transpired today because it might be connected. No need to bring the snark." What was it about this guy that made me defensive in two seconds flat?
"Hessa. I meant no offense. I'm going to assume that calling me a week after arguing how there could be no possible connection to your program would be a hard call to make. That makes me think you have something very serious to discuss. There's no time to waste. So. Five o'clock, Headquarters. You good?"
I sighed. Maybe I was a bit defensive. I felt like I needed his help so I'd have to suck it up, buttercup. "Okay. I'll be there. Wait--why am I wearing workout clothes?"
"See you soon, Hessa." Click.
