by Donna Alward
“The fog will burn off well before lunch,” he answered easily.
“You’re going out today, then?”
“Not today. I’ll be at the office.”
She seemed relieved to know he wouldn’t be out on the water, even though it was just some fog and not a storm. “I thought it was your day off.”
Josh had thought so, too, and had looked forward to taking out the boat, doing some fishing, not to mention peace and quiet. “Not anymore. Charlie‘s replacement is starting work today and I’m going to show her around.”
Sarah’s brow knit into a frown. “But Susan has a checkup today. Besides, Charlie isn’t due for a few months yet.”
“Well, Dr. Howard was available and Charlie said she’d like to have some time before the baby arrived. It doesn’t matter to me, really, so I agreed. Today you’ll be seeing the new doc.”
Sarah didn’t look appeased. One thing he’d realized about his sister—she liked things a certain way. She didn’t like leaving things to chance or change. He rather suspected it had been that way since their father had died at sea. One morning their dad had been eating breakfast at the kitchen table, and hours later he was just gone, leaving Josh as the man of the house.
He was familiar enough with grief to know that it changed people in small but important ways. Sarah’s need for control was one. Her urge to nurture was another.
So he poured her a cup of coffee and put it on the table before her. “Look, I trust Charlie. If she says Dr. Howard’s a fine doctor, I believe her.” He smiled. “I’m pretty sure Susan doesn’t want her uncle giving her a checkup. But if there’s a problem, we’ll set you up with my friend in Portland, okay?”
She nodded. “Yes, okay.” She let out a sigh and raised her mug, taking a test sip of coffee. “I’m sorry, Josh. I don’t mean to be difficult.”
He smiled, jostled her free elbow. “You’re not. I know you worry about me. I’m fine, Sarah. I’ve been home over a year now and I’m happy. Truly. I’ve got a great practice, I’m around my family, and I’ve got a brand-new boat and fishing rod. Life’s good.”
And so what if he was alone? Even during his marriage he’d felt alone. At least this way it was stress-free.
He turned away, focused on pouring his own coffee. It wasn’t just his family who was concerned about him. The whole damn town worried, for that matter. He clenched his teeth. He was fine. Absolutely fine. He wasn’t going to break.
“You want some eggs?” he asked. “I’ll cook.”
“Oh,” she replied, jumping up. “I forgot you haven’t eaten.”
“Sit down, Sarah. I’ll get it. By now I know your kitchen as well as my own.” Josh went to the fridge, taking out eggs and butter.
Sometimes his family’s concern got claustrophobic. He could have stayed at his own place this morning, he supposed, as he melted butter in the pan and broke eggs into a bowl. But they’d settled into this pattern months ago, ever since he’d returned to Jewell Cove. To ignore the routine now would mean worried phone calls from his sisters, a lecture from his mother, and fancy tap dancing around everyone. The last thing he wanted to do was upset the family applecart, so it was easier just to show up a few times a week, have breakfast, and keep everything on an even keel.
Not that he could blame his sister entirely. He put up with the hovering because she’d been the one to pick him up when he’d damned near had a breakdown after Erin’s death. Dealing with the repatriation and the funeral … it had stretched him to the limit. Grief and guilt were not a good combination.
Then there’d been Erin’s parents to deal with. They’d absolutely hated that their precious Erin had gone into the Army as a medic. Erin had always felt like a disappointment to them. Their expectations had run much higher. He’d often had the thought that they’d only tolerated her “mild rebellion” because their future plans had been for Josh to go into practice with her dad and they’d be one big happy family. Afterwards, trying to work day in and day out with Erin’s father … it was too much. And it had been time to come home.
He stirred the eggs and put some bread in the toaster. Butter and jam followed, plunked unceremoniously in the middle of the table.
Sarah’s face finally cleared of its worry as she grinned. “I still can’t believe you’re in the medical profession with a bedside manner like that,” she groused, teasing. “Thank God you were never a waiter.”
He scooped eggs onto a plate, added toast, and put it before her before filling a plate of his own. For a few minutes they ate in easy silence. He was glad she seemed to be out of her doldrums. The last year had been a rough one, and he didn’t want to add to that.
And even though he knew the Collins women tried to mother him, Josh had never been able to shake the protective feeling he had for his sisters. Part of the reason he kept up with the day-to-day charade was because he worried about them as much as they worried about him.
“I’m gonna run,” he said, getting up and going to Sarah’s side. “I’ve got to catch Tom before he heads to work, and then hit the office.”
“There’s a lunch for you in the fridge,” she replied as he pressed a kiss to her cheek. “Say hi to Tom. Tell him not to forget the big picnic on the Fourth. We’re all supposed to be at Jess’s by six.”
“Will you make potato salad?”
Sarah laughed and handed him a paper bag. “Oooh, a request. I’ll make you a deal. I’ll make the salad if you’ll bring a date.”
Josh sighed, wishing everyone would stop with the matchmaking. “Sarah … you and Jess have been plotting again.”
“And Mom. Don’t forget Mom. We were thinking Elaine, you know? From the inn?”
Lainey Price. Nice enough but so not his type. “No matchmaking.”
“Or maybe Summer’s free. You do tend to end up together at these things.”
He sent her a dark warning look. Summer was a nice girl, too, but that was it. Nice. Not for him. “Back off, Sarah,” he warned.
“You’re lonely.”
“No, I’m not. And I can find my own girl if I want one.”
“Then why don’t you?”
It was a fair question. Erin had been gone nearly two years. Did he still grieve? Yes. But not necessarily for the reasons his family thought. He wasn’t sure he ever wanted to go down that road again. Dating in this town was problematic, too. Everyone would know within the hour and would have them marching down the aisle by the following breakfast. There would be no privacy to fall in love, just pressure. It was easier just to steer clear.
“Not yet,” he answered, not wanting to get into his personal life with Sarah this morning. All he wanted was to have his breakfast and get to work and treat this like any other day.
Because that’s exactly what it was. A day just like yesterday, and tomorrow would be the same again. Until he damn well felt like changing it.
“I still want potato salad. Now let me get going.” He leaned over and kissed her cheek again, knowing he could definitely get around her that way.
The fog was thick as he drove to the edge of town and the small prefab that Tom used as an office for Arseneault Contracting. He dropped off the circular saw he’d borrowed to cut some new deck boards and then drove the six blocks to the clinic. It was oddly quiet after he shut the truck door. On mornings like this, the sounds of the bay held a different, mysterious quality that almost felt otherworldly.
He could see the moisture hang in the air and he tried not to let the dismal weather drag down his mood. This was the life he’d chosen. His own practice, back with his family. At the time it had made the most sense. But lately there was something missing. Something more that left him unsatisfied. He wished he could put his finger on it.
This damned fog wasn’t helping matters any. He opened the back door to the office and flicked on the lights. Their assistant, Robin, was already ten minutes late, and when he booted up the computer the e-mail showed she’d be an hour late because her kid had popped a wire on his braces,
requiring an emergency trip to the orthodontist. Josh turned on the radio for background noise and set to work making coffee.
“Dammit,” he muttered, running a hand over his hair. “Why do I bother hiring people when they never manage to show up on time?” Now he was on the hook for pulling the first patient files and making sure the exam rooms were prepared.
When the back door opened and shut again, his irritation spilled over. “It’s about time!” he called out. “Your appointment go faster than expected?”
“I didn’t realize I was late,” said a soft voice, and Josh paused, his hand on the trash can that hadn’t been emptied the night before.
He looked over his shoulder, knowing it had to be Dr. Howard but unprepared for the sight just the same. Medium height. A bit too skinny for his taste. Good eyes, though, he thought, and he suspected her dark hair would be quite a sight to behold if she ever let it down. Today she had it pulled back in a low, demure ponytail. Professional. He liked that. His own personal reaction? Not so much a fan. It had been a long time since the sound of a woman’s low voice made his pulse jump.
“I’m Elizabeth Howard,” she said smoothly, raising a perfectly groomed eyebrow at him.
“Josh Collins.”
“You’re Dr. Collins.” Her other eyebrow rose to meet the first, making it more of a question than a statement despite the inflection.
He wasn’t sure what it was about her tone that set him on edge, but it did. “Who did you think I was?”
“I don’t know. The janitor?”
Josh chuckled tightly and put down the trash can. Dr. Howard, on the one hand, was dressed in neat trousers and a pressed blouse and sensible flats. He, on the other hand, was in faded jeans and a golf shirt in muted orange. It was Jewell Cove, after all, and not Johns Hopkins. “I actually do have an assistant who normally looks after this stuff. She has an orthodontist emergency this morning. I thought you were her.”
“Oh.” Her lips thinned in disapproval, as if the tardiness was a reflection on the entire setup. “Where can I put my things?”
“Your office. End of the hall on the right. You’ll see Charlie’s name on the door.”
“Thanks.” She brushed by him but not before he caught a telltale pinkness coloring her cheeks. “I’m gonna kill Charlie for this,” he heard her mutter.
Josh trusted Charlie and she said that Howard was the best doctor she knew, but they hadn’t gotten off to the best start. He wasn’t quite sure if Dr. Howard was disapproving or embarrassed, but either way it was awkward.
He looked down the hall and saw Dr. Howard slide her arms into a white coat. At least she was on time—unlike his other employee. He liked Robin and she kept the office running like a well-oiled machine, but she did take liberties with the time clock now and again.
Dr. Howard came back down the hall and Josh decided to try a friendly overture to break the ice instead. “There’s coffee in the kitchen. I was just going to get a cup before I unlock the front. Want some?”
She followed him to the kitchen—a closet, really—and he pulled down two mugs from the cupboard. “There’s milk in the fridge, and sugar here,” he said, reaching for the coffeepot. He poured two mugs and handed her one. She stared at it for a moment before taking a cautious sip—black.
Josh grinned. “I like mine black, too. If the military didn’t teach me to drink it that way, twenty-four hours on hospital shift would. You take what you can get, huh?”
“I have an espresso machine at home, so I prefer macchiatos.”
Of course she did. With that one sentence Josh felt entirely inadequate. Erin had been that way, too, at first—an air of accepting nothing less than the best. Growing up rich and privileged seemed to bring with it a general expectation of standards and this Elizabeth Howard had the same way of looking at him that made him feel just a little bit … lacking. Provincial and unsophisticated. Like his little practice was beneath her. Then again, she was probably right. He’d seen her qualifications. Why she’d ever accepted Charlie’s proposal was beyond him. Even with Elizabeth’s current troubles, another hospital would have snapped her up in a heartbeat.
Josh’s family had never looked down their noses at anyone; there hadn’t been the money or the time. It wasn’t something he apologized for anymore. Maybe blood was thicker than water, but he’d take Sarah’s and Jess’s meddling any day of the week over the cold formality of Erin’s family.
“Well, no fancy coffee machines here. Just plain family medicine. Blood work is done at the local lab, radiology at a clinic in Portland. You’ll find requisitions in each exam room.” The back door opened and closed once more. “That’ll be Robin, I hope.” He looked at his watch. “Make yourself at home and any questions, ask.”
He took his coffee and made his way to the front office and waiting room. The true test would be Howard’s attitude toward her patients. And luckily for Josh, he had the perfect insider already scheduled for two forty-five. Susan would be brutally honest with her opinion of the new doc.
* * *
Lizzie had meant every word. She was going to kill Charlie.
Charlie had known all along that Joshua Collins was drop-dead gorgeous. She had known all along that he was in his early thirties. A military vet and widower indeed. Lizzie had pictured a retired army doc, perhaps with a little gray hair and a crusty demeanor. That’s who she’d prepared for and she’d been relieved—she could handle that sort of boss right as rain. But Collins? Faded jeans and a golf shirt passing for professional attire … good Lord.
She flushed a little and tried to turn her attention back to her chart. He did wear the faded denim well. Too well. She’d gotten a good look at his backside when he’d bent over that trash can and she’d called him “the janitor.” Janitor! She’d been so flustered that the only words she could think of to say were to ask where her office was and to tell him she had an espresso machine at home. What an idiot she was.…
Even worse was the knowledge that Charlie had deliberately kept quiet about such an important detail. That day they’d been touring the town, it had been Collins in the truck behind them, Collins who had laid on the horn and made Charlie laugh. Heat rose into Lizzie’s cheeks. This was the problem with letting people know you too well. Charlie knew that Lizzie would have said no if she’d admitted her partner was a young, sexy, single doc.
Maybe he wasn’t single. Charlie had mentioned he’d moved back after his wife died, but that didn’t mean there wasn’t a new Mrs. Collins. And Lizzie hadn’t checked to see if he was wearing a ring. Or there could be a girlfriend in the picture.
Robin tapped on the door. “Dr. Howard? Your two forty-five is here, in room one.”
“Thanks,” she said, pushing aside the chart. She was already going crazy. Today she’d seen a total of ten patients. The most exciting one had needed a slight adjustment to his blood pressure medication. God, she missed the emergency room. Missed the activity and the challenge. Maybe this one would actually need some real medical care.
Outside the exam room she plucked the file off the door and skimmed it. So much for challenge. A ten-year-old patient for a checkup. She sighed. No such luck.
When she opened the door, a pretty woman in her early thirties was sitting in a chair and the patient was already on the exam table, her hair in a perky ponytail and freckles dotting her nose. “Hi, Susan. I’m Dr. Howard.” She smiled what she hoped was a welcoming smile.
“I’m Sarah, Susan’s mother.” The woman stood and held out her hand.
“It’s nice to meet you. You’re here for a checkup?” Lizzie shook Sarah’s hand with the odd feeling that the woman was somehow familiar.
“Josh is my uncle!” Susan announced.
It was tough to keep her smile in place. Oh goody. Josh’s family and on her first day. Was this a test or just a coincidence?
Sarah let go of her hand and sat down again. “I know it must be strange, on your first day and all. We always saw Phil Nye when he was here, and then
when Josh came back to town we started seeing Dr. Yang. It’s a little weird thinking about Josh being our doctor.” She gave a lopsided grin and Lizzie relaxed a little.
“Yeah, more like eeew,” Susan answered. “That’s definitely TMI.”
Lizzie laughed. Maybe today’s appointments weren’t a total loss. She rather liked Josh’s niece. The tone was just a touch snooty, Susan’s eyebrow raised in a sarcastic arch. The girl had just the right amount of attitude and spunk.
They went through the usual stuff—height and weight marked on a percentile scale, blood pressure and heart and lungs … a formality, as Susan appeared to be a perfectly healthy little girl. Lizzie chatted to her about school and what activities she liked, including piano lessons and soccer and an upcoming sleepover where the girls were going to make their own pizzas and ice-cream sundaes with a zillion toppings.
She was a chatterbox, but a delightful one.
“Well, I think you’re all set here, unless you have any questions for me,” Lizzie said, closing the chart.
“Do you have a boyfriend?” Susan asked, unfazed by the dire look her mother sent her way.
Lizzie felt a blush heat her cheeks.
“Don’t answer that,” Sarah said, turning to Susan. “Suze, that was rude.”
“You’re always saying you want Uncle Josh to date. You can’t throw Summer Arnold at him forever.”
Now it was Sarah’s turn to blush and Lizzie gave an uncomfortable laugh.
“Where on earth did you get that?” Sarah demanded.
“Grandma said it last week after church.”
There was a moment of awkward silence. “Sorry,” Sarah apologized. “Sometimes I think she’s ten going on twenty-five.”
Lizzie flapped a hand. She’d seen a lot of things in emergency departments, had been propositioned and proposed to once by a man dressed in drag with alcohol poisoning who was brought in by his friends during a bachelor party gone wrong. One ten-year-old being slightly inappropriate was really no biggie.
