by Dee Ellis
“Because…you stopped asking.” Was her answer as she washed the same plate three times.
“Didn’t mean I wouldn’t ask again, baby. Just had to be sure you still wanted me to. I fucked up, Brynn. I regret it more than you might ever realize. Need to atone for that, I know that.” Our hands barely touched and she nearly dropped the plate.
I didn’t need to ask again because she didn’t make me. Every night for weeks, I came home to her cooking for us. Or I called to let her know it would be my turn. Those weeks with her and my daughter, they changed everything. I thought I wanted Brynn, and I did. What we found during those weeks, though, I wanted it more than I could have known.
Coming home to her and Amelia, it changed me explicitly. I ripped down a brick or two every single night as we laughed and talked. Flirted and misbehaved with each other. I was building something for us with those bricks.
It was about more than how her laugh made me want to laugh, or how good she looked with my daughter. How Amelia adored her and how good I felt when she looked at me with that softness in her bright green eyes. It was how she fit in my world as if the spot beside me had been waiting for a Brynn-sized piece.
It was all of that and so much more; but Brynn wasn’t ready to admit it and I knew that.
“Don’t do this if you can’t stick with us, baby.” I warned one night in the midst of a hot Game of Thrones and Chill session.
I almost took her on the couch like a teenager trying to get laid before his parents made it home. After weeks of flirting, laughing together, pushing each other just to the edge, we nearly plunged over it. Until I made her think about what was on the other side, if we took that plunge.
Brynn promised me it was about the so much more, about the three of us, and I knew it was a lie. Knew that she might mean it right then, right in the heat of the moment, but that she would break that promise. Not because she wanted to hurt me or Amelia.
Brynn thought she'd have to break her promise to protect us.
It just made me crazier about her. Made me want to force her to make us more promises. Because she couldn't break them all. And my girl thought she had to break them because she thought I had no clue she was hiding things. Of course, I knew.
Brynn lying proved just one thing. That we meant enough to her for her to keep lying. To keep making those promises. Because we meant everything to her, and she was doing what she thought she could to protect us. Brynn had quickly grown to mean everything to me, too. She and Amelia had become my life.
“I will do whatever it takes to come home to her. To you.” I had promised that night after a terrible call that shook me to my core.
“I know you will, baby. I know you will. Amelia gives you a reason to be safe. To think about her first.” Brynn had cradled me in bed, and it wasn't about sex or need or want.
“I thought about you both tonight. I can't think of losing you. Either of you.” Brynn didn't promise me then, but I could see it in her eyes, in the softness that lit them up that she wanted to.
No promises were made, but plenty was said. About her, about me, about Amelia. About us. Brynn held me and made me believe for the first time in ages that I would be okay. That I could have something real. Then we slept together like we had done it a dozen times before.
I woke up with her still in my arms and had refused to let go. It was coming up on a week of her being here constantly. Seeing me off with Amelia when I went to work, being there when I came home. Making up excuses to stay the night. Just like she was making up excuses to stay in Chicago.
All she needed was one, though; Amelia. Today was Amelia's half year birthday. Like goofy first-time parents, we wanted to celebrate. Amelia had quickly become the center of our universe. Nothing I wouldn't do for that tiny, adorable ginger. Half my heart was in her tiny digits.
The other half? That belonged to Brynn.
“Morning beautiful girls.” My words bring a flush to her creamy skin, those freckles burning golden across her cheeks.
Our gazes meet above Amelia's head. Hold. Change; hers darkens, her lids lowering as she snuggles closer. Mine go heavy because, fuck, she is so beautiful it makes me crazy. Messy hair, full lips, eyes dark with need. Need for more than I have given her yet. The more I started a week ago before life got in the way.
Without a word, I bend over my daughter's head, capturing Brynn's full mouth in a kiss. Its sweet and disarms her, making her go soft against me. Before it turns hot, which takes mere seconds with us, I break away. Gently tugging the baby out of her grasp, I disappear.
Amelia was the best baby. Slept through the nights, even slept in when I really needed her to. Like right now. I crossed the hall, tucked Amelia into her crib, pressing a kiss to her head, before heading back to my woman. I closed the door, just enough to let us hear the baby, before stalking towards the bed.
I can feel the energy in the room shift. Brynn knows my intentions. The flush of her skin, the pop of those freckles, the soft, fast past of her breathing. I can see the lacey lines of her veins along her neck, her skin is so pale. I swear I can make out the thud, thud, thud of her pulse at her neck.
“Behave.” It was Brynn's mantra, but she never meant it and I knew it. Don't know why she bothered saying it.
“You behave.” I smirked as I crawled over her, my knees on either side of her thighs.
Brynn's freckles burn brighter as her skin turns pink. I fucking loved it. Those jade eyes went mossy green, her breath coming fast as I slid my hands over her. Up her thighs, beneath the CFD shirt that she had claimed a few nights ago. I loved her in my clothes. Did shit to me I couldn't explain. Fairly certain I'd like her better out of my clothes more, though.
“It is always you that misbehaves. Not me.” Brynn argues, even as her hands shove beneath my shirt, tracing the line of hair that I know she loves.
“Lies. You like when I misbehave. Because you can misbehave right along with me. Before we do, though...” My hands don't stop moving until her shirt is shoved up beneath her breasts.
The tiny panties she's wearing, gauzy pink nothings, show everything. How pretty her pink folds are. How perfect. How fucking soaked. My mouth waters and I bend, pressing an opened mouth kiss to the lace. Right against her swollen clit. I do nothing more, because pretending is over.
“We are happening, Brynn. Don't think otherwise. This—you, me and Amelia; it's happening, baby. Before we start again, we need to talk. Because I owe you better now. “ Brynn flushed and fuck, it was lovely.
“Talk? About how you think you get to decide how we work?” Those emerald eyes sparked with fire; it was hot as shit.
“Mmm, no, baby. About how I don't forget for one second how lucky I am. That you are here, now, with me. That I might get a second chance with you. Even though I almost fucked it up. Did fuck it up. And about how I spent too long regretting it and being too stupid to fix it. Whatever is starting again now, with us, Brynn it started that first day in that barn, for me.” The tiny gasp gives her away and she softens; she recovers quickly, though.
“Ended awful fast, though, huh?” I move into her more, needing contact, her skin on mine, pleading for it.
“Wish I could take back exactly fifty-five seconds of our first weekend, Brynn.” Her brow quirks up so I trace it with a fingertip.
“Got it down to the second, do you? Tell me what difference fifty-five seconds might have made, Levi?” Lowering my head, I touch my nose to hers, my words hot against her full mouth.
“Because I don't need a second more to explain my marriage. I didn't take those fifty-five seconds because I had seventy-six hours with you that mattered more to me than twelve months with her. I was a coward, clinging to what I found with you that weekend, Brynn.” Her breathing picks up, her breath sweet and hot against my lips.
Beside her hips, my fists balance me, clenched so I don't rip her clothes off before I finish this talk. Because, we need to talk about it. About the three days that changed me, that started this, and that
gave me something I refuse to let go of. Brynn is restless beneath me, her long legs tangling with mine, her hips bucking just slightly. Doing her best to entice me, because we're past behaving and we both know it.
“Could not spare fifty-five seconds for me?” Brynn barely finishes the taunt before my mouth is on hers, my hands curving around her hips.
The kiss is fiery, angry, burning up the resolve I had clung so tightly to. Her softness wraps around me, thighs at my hips, tits against my chest, an arm around my neck. Brynn shimmies her hips, my cock nestled between her thighs, right where he belongs. Her mouth is sweet and wet and it makes me think of another sweet, wet spot I can't wait to taste. But, first.
“My little minx.” My tongue licks the seam of her mouth, her moan echoing through the room and burning me inside out.
“Never said a thing about me being the one to behave.” Her tongue returns the favor, her teeth nipping at my bottom lip and I almost lose it.
“No, no you did not. Trust me, baby, I do not want you to behave. Like, ever. After,” I press her back into the bed, one hand pinning her arms above her head, “we get shit straight between us, Brynn.” For a split second, her full lower lip comes out in a pout and I just want to give her whatever she wants. Especially since right now, she wants me.
Something passes between us then. The air is charged with everything we're both thinking. Remembering. Three perfect days, one amazing night, all shattered by one epically fucked up morning.
The moment I laid eyes on Brynn Gold, I was a goner. Those bright green eyes, sparkling with a loneliness that spoke to me. We were surrounded by our friends, but until we found each other, we had been completely alone.
We stuck together those first days, laughing and dancing at the reception. Talking and flirting when we all stayed an extra day to celebrate. Brynn was shy but warm and sweet, and so enamored with the romance filling the air that weekend. I have Hunter and Lola to thank for the weekend that changed my life.
Clearly, I had not been playing it cool. Hunter only offered me up as her chauffeur because he saw what she was doing to me. I didn't care because I got to spend three of the best days of my life with her. Before it came crashing down.
“Shut up. Fleetwood Mac? I pegged you for a Britney Spears type, Gold.” I’d quickly learned how much fun it was to tease her. How fucking cute she got when she was flushed. How hot when she teased back.
“Britney is queen. However,” Her laughter filled my chest as she cranked the radio, “Fleetwood Mac are musicians. The lyrics, the layers of emotion in their music.” Her head tipped back as the music flooded the car; she was beautiful and her walls had fallen after the first few hundred miles.
Brynn was free and open, laughing and singing beside me. We talked about music, movies, the places we had gone and those we'd yet to see. By the first stop for gas, I was completely smitten. If I hadn't been already after dancing with her in that perfectly romantic barn and seeing those green eyes burn.
“Why Chicago? How did you end up there?” Brynn had asked while watching me fill the tank, sharing her nachos with me between questions.
“It was about as different as I could get from Utah. Bright, alive. I had just finished training and saw an ad for Ladder 71. I had nothing tying me there anymore. Felt like a fresh start might be what I needed.” As I watched, Brynn changed; those bright eyes darkened, her the smile slid from her face and for a few seconds, that wall was firmly back in place.
Then, I touched her. With my free hand, I gently brought her chin up, making her look at me. Just like that, as if I had centered her somehow, Brynn was back. I wanted to know where she had gone, what had taken her from me, but first, I vowed to keep her there with me.
For seventy-six hours, I did. Brynn riding beside me, picking the music, the questions, the way we learned about one another, made it so easy to let it happen. To let it become what neither of us were ready for, but both wanted so badly we didn't answer the important questions.
“Why Boston.” At the time, I was just calculating how far it was from Chicago. How far between what we were building then and what we could maintain later.
“Ever been to Boston,” Brynn fired back, snuggled close to my side in the bench seat of Hunters beat up old Dodge, “The history in the stone and brick in that city is just...it blows me away. The curves and lines and the design. We visited when I was just a kid and I knew I wanted to build things that looked like that. That made people feel like that.” I thought it was beautiful, that she was beautiful. So, I told her so.
“You are the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.” I spoke it softly against her ear as I held her close on the hood of the car.
We were hours away from Chicago and neither of us wanted the trip to be over. I didn't want to let her go. Brynn had brought me back to life. How could I pretend otherwise once we got to Chicago and the rest of the world, our friends and my ex-wife included, intruded on what we found?
Instead of allowing myself to consider it, I did my best to hold onto it. We stopped in an empty field, for no reason at all. Laying a blanket out on the hood of Hunter's car, we watched the stars. I held her. Kissed her. Touched her. Before I could spend the fifty-five seconds I should have, we were grasping tight onto whatever this crazy, hot, special thing we had found with one another.
We spent days opening up to one another. Piece by piece. Brick by brick. Under the stars, in the back seat of Hunter's car—like fumbling teenagers—we ripped open what was left.
“I don't want it to end, baby. Not after tonight. Not tomorrow once we get to Chicago. Or when you go back to Boston.” My words tore out of me as I'd ripped her t-shirt and shorts off, hands shaking, breath gasping out of me.
“Who says it has to?” Brynn whispered back in the darkness, her hands fumbling with my own jeans and shirt.
“I won't let it. I won't. I promise, baby.” My mouth took hers as I pinned her to the cool leather seats.
Burning white heat coiled through me as her fingertips traced my skin. Just the tips, slowly, over the curve of my shoulders, the lines of my neck, down my front. Watching me with those burning green eyes, Brynn wrapped her hands around me and guided me between her legs.
“Be sure, baby. You let me take you now, that's not a promise I just made. That's a warning. I won't let it end.” Brynn just moaned and bucked beneath me, closing her limbs around me.
With a thrust of both our bodies, I was inside her. On the side of the road in the darkness, I made love to Brynn all night. Over and over any way she would let me. As the sun came up, I had her sprawled wide open on the hood again, my head between her thighs, feasting on her sweetness.
I was drunk on her. Positively wasted on Brynn. We might as well have been the newlyweds, we rode into Chicago so fucking happy. I got her to my place, passing right by Lola's condo where she'd planned to stay.
“No need for that, now. You're moving.” Brynn never argued, snuggling into me as we headed for my place.
Once there, we barely got through the door before I was tearing at her clothes again. I needed her so desperately, to feel her soft skin against mine, have her sweet taste on my lips again. Maybe too desperately because I had her beneath me on the couch, shoving at her leggings before I noticed we were not alone.
“Welcome home, husband.” Ice in my veins, that voice.
It was the look on Brynn's face though, as I watched her brick herself back up, that broke me. I hadn't taken fifty-five fucking seconds to explain Isabel or how done with her I was. Maybe I didn't know I was done with her, then. Once I found Brynn, though, I sure as shit was done.
“Kind of broke my heart, Levi.” My own heart ached in my chest as she admitted this now.
“If I broke yours, I fucking shattered mine, baby. I didn't tell you with the intent of not telling you. I always knew that talk was coming. Brynn, I was so fucking ruined after her. Not because she broke my heart, I told you I don't believe what we had was love. It just paraded like it. I didn't w
ant to be alone. I was so fucking tired of being alone.” Brynn softens, her limbs tugging me close to her.
“Me too, baby. Me too.” It’s the first time she's called me this in four months.
Just a word. Just a cute, silly word. Except when Brynn is saying it to me, it sounds like a helluva lot more. Like it is just hers and it’s just for me and fuck, that does something to me. I knew it before she said it, knew it four months ago, but now I know for sure.
Brynn fucking owns me; I am hers just waiting for her to claim.
I know more words, lots of bigger, harder words, needed to be said. Lots of talking needs to happen between us. About that day and how she took off and I chased after her. How I knew I had broken her. How it fucked me up that she was as broken as me, after just seventy-six hours. And how after realizing that, I became a coward because I couldn't risk how that could crush me.
Instead, for a little while, I don't want words. Don't need them. I need her skin against mine and her taste in my mouth. I don't hesitate; my hands move and Brynn is naked beneath me. It's early morning still, the sun bright outside the windows. Flooding the room and this moment with buttery light.
A naked Brynn was like the heavens parting and angels singing.
Perfection. Every. Fucking. Inch. Her creamy skin glowed in the sunlight. Her long legs spread to let me slide between them. The halo of fiery hair made her eyes glow. Her, full, round tits were perfect with their dusty pink nipples. The dips and curves of her hips and waist. Every inch. None more than the pink folds that my mouth watered for. I dropped to my knees, shoving her thighs up on my shoulders.
“Levi!” Brynn cries out, making my already aching dick leap in my shorts.
“Behave.” I throw her words back at her.
Brynn bucks beneath me the moment my mouth finds her folds. The velvet softness is soaked, her thighs trembling on my shoulders as I lick once, from back to front, then latch onto her swollen clit. I watch her hold both hands over her mouth as she writhes beneath me, those eyes never looking away as I feast on her once again.
