“You compliment a woman but then add something to bring down her social status.”
“What? Is this a joke?” Colin asked.
“Hold on, man, just give me a second to explain.” He cleared his throat. “In a way, it’s like a backhanded compliment, but it’s not meant to be cruel. It’s a way to make her sit up and pay attention.”
“Sounds manipulative to me.” There was a wary edge to Colin’s voice.
“Oh, it is but in a good way. Here are a couple of examples,” Nick said. “You’re chatting up a girl and she says something kind of funny so you reply, ‘With that wit, it’s a good thing you’re pretty.’” He paused. “The idea here is to cause her to second guess herself. She probably gets a lot of attention, but now she wants your approval. Here’s another. She’s standing with a group of friends and you turn to some of her guy friends and say, ‘What’s so special about this one?’”
“I’m not following,” Colin said.
“The point is to demonstrate social value. If she’s a beautiful woman, she’s used to getting compliments and attention from men. When you give her a backhanded compliment, it sets you apart. Now she’s questioning why you aren’t into her like the other guys, and she’s trying to figure out how to win you over.”
My stomach twisted. Nick had used negging on me—I was certain of it. In fact, he’d done it more than once. His latest wisecrack came to mind. It was right after the blind date with Colin. You’re pretty for an artist type. It had left me wondering if he’d thought artist types weren’t attractive. Had he done that on purpose?
“I’ve had enough of this,” Colin said. “This is the worst advice I’ve ever heard. You actually want me to try to reduce a woman’s social value so she’ll feel attracted to me? That’s sick, man…sick.”
I hurried out to the living room. “What’s going on?”
Colin was standing toe-to-toe with Nick, and he wasn’t backing down. There was a fire in his eyes, and his face was flushed. “Granted, I didn’t have a good example growing up, but I still strive to treat women with honor and dignity. Whatever this is you’re doing, I don’t want any part of it.”
Goosebumps broke out on my arms at the conviction in his voice, and my estimation of him rose to a new level—one of respect. He might be a man of few words at certain moments, but he wasn’t timid, and he didn’t have a difficult time stating his opinion when he felt strongly about something. He seemed to have no problem standing his ground.
Nick was usually one to puff up his chest and do the peacock thing, but he stepped back and ran a hand through his hair like he was ill at ease.
Colin turned to me. “I’m done, Abby. I did my best to sit quietly out of deference for you, but I can’t listen to this anymore.” He glanced at Nick. “No offense, but I’d rather be alone than use those kinds of tactics.”
He headed for the doorway, but I moved in front to stop him. “Colin, wait. Let’s talk about this.”
Nick passed by us, head ducked low. “Sorry, Abbs. I did my best.” He gave me a look that said he’d done all he could but the situation was hopeless. “I’ve got a thing I need to get to.” The arrogance in his voice caused me to take a second look at him. For the first time since I’d known him, he reminded me of a weasel.
“You mean a date, right?”
He grimaced. “Something like that.”
“This negging thing,” I said, point a finger at him. “You’ve used it on me. I know you have.”
He was like a deer in headlights for a second, but he recovered quickly. “No, never. You’re my friend. I care about you a great deal, Abby.”
I put my hands on both sides of my head like it was about to explode. How was I supposed to figure this out? “I don’t know what to think about any of this. This situation is so confusing.”
“Abbs,” Nick said, turning back. “You mean the world to me. If you need to talk this through, I’ll cancel my date. You’re that important to me.”
My resolve softened a little. “I’m not sure what to make of this.”
Nick pulled his phone out of his pocket. “That’s it. I’m canceling the date. You’re number one in my book, Abbs.”
I was number one? I’d waited a long time to hear that, but now I didn’t know if I should take his words to heart or not. Colin was at the front door now, shaking his head as if he couldn’t believe any of this.
“Colin, please don’t leave,” I said. “I’m sorry this didn’t work out the way you hoped it would.”
He glanced between me and Nick like he was trying to figure out our relationship. “Looks like you have some things to work out.” And then he walked out the door.
“Abby, that guy is so uptight he doesn’t stand a chance,” Nick said. “If he thinks he’s going to find a woman—”
“Don’t say it.” My tone had a warning edge to it. “I won’t let you criticize him.”
Nick’s eyes widened. “Sorry. Let’s sit down and talk.”
“Hold on. I need to go after Colin.”
“Abby, don’t. He’s not worth it.”
I didn’t listen. I rushed out the front door yelling, “Colin, wait!”
He was already in his car, but I ran to the driver’s side and motioned for him to lower his window. When he did, I moved closer and stooped down to his eye level. “I am so, so sorry. Nick is normally not like that. I’m not sure what got into him or why he gave those kinds of tips but—”
“It’s okay, Abby.” Colin’s jaw was firm, his shoulders stiff.
“No, it’s not okay. I feel terrible.”
“I’m not upset with you.”
“What if we just forget about what happened this evening and we try again tomorrow? We’ll do session two all over again.”
He hesitated, and I could tell he wanted to say no but was considering.
“It’ll be just the two of us. We can even go on a hike. I’m sure you know of a few trails.” My heart was beating so fast I could feel it practically jumping out of my chest. “I’m so sorry.”
His eyes met mine, and he stared at me for a long moment. “Okay. Let’s try again tomorrow. And Abby?”
“Yeah?”
“Stop worrying. It’s okay. I’m a little irritated, but it has nothing to do with you.”
I nodded, and he started the engine. “Is eight in the morning too early?” he asked.
“It’s perfect.”
“See you then.”
I moved out of the way so he could pull away from the curb. As he drove off, a strange sensation came over me. Why was I looking forward to hiking all of a sudden? I glanced at the house and grit my teeth. Now I had to go deal with Nick.
Chapter 10
Abby
My finger slid across the page to follow along as I read Mark 12:30. And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.
For a long moment, I just thought about that verse and what it meant. I’d heard it recited at church on occasion, and I’d even read it on my own, but, today, it felt like it had new significance because my eyes lingered on the last word: strength.
God wanted me to love Him with fervor—with all my might. With the force of everything I was and everything I had to give.
In other words, He wanted it all, every inch, every layer of my life, every thought…every part of my heart.
I closed my Bible and wiped a tear from my eye. It had been a while since I’d read those words, and at one time, this verse had meant the world to me because Jesus was the love of my life, my Lord and Master, my Savior.
He was still those things to me, but, somehow, along the way, I’d pulled back. The realization wasn’t new, but it still hurt to think about it. Lately, I’d sensed the Lord tugging me back, quietly drawing me into His loving arms again.
This verse confirmed that I’d done the right thing yesterday when I told Nick I needed space. I was still confused about his intentions and if he was the right man for me,
but I knew this much: maintaining some distance was probably a good idea. At least for now. Somehow, I’d allowed myself to be consumed with stuff that didn’t matter—stuff that pulled me away from God—and I needed to know if Nick was part of the problem.
I liked Nick’s confidence, his swagger, his ability to gain the admiration of any woman he wanted—including myself. But I’d neglected the less sought-after qualities: humility, generosity of spirit, and kindness.
I needed time to think without the pressure of seeing him all the time. I didn’t tell him I had feelings for him, but I let him know things were getting a little too intense, and we needed to see less of each other. He’d thought I was blowing everything out of proportion, but in the end, he understood, or at least he said he did.
There was a knock, and I moved to the door to answer it. Colin stood in front of me in jeans and a long-sleeved gray t-shirt. He’d let his beard grow back to a five o’clock shadow that spread across his face, and it was a good look on him.
“Hi, Abby.”
“Colin.” I cleared my throat. “I’m ready to go.” I stepped out onto the porch and locked the door behind me.
We walked to his car, and I was surprised he opened my door for me. The fact that I responded that way only confirmed I’d been hanging around the wrong men. I shouldn’t have been surprised, though. Colin had been a gentleman from the beginning. Once we were on the road, we were both quiet. I wasn’t normally the quiet type, and I typically filled the silence if the other person didn’t speak. This morning, I felt unusually calm and didn’t feel the need to fill the space.
“So, what are we going over today?” Colin asked as he pulled into the parking lot of a hiking venue.
“What if we just practice?”
He nodded. “Okay.”
I glanced at him and smiled. “At times, you’re a man of few words. Did you know that?”
That brought a smile to his face. “Just figuring that out?”
I didn’t respond but got out of the car once he parked and turned the engine off.
He joined me as we strolled to the beginning of the hiking trail. “There’s a two-mile hike here,” he said. “It’s pretty easy except for one part that has a steep incline. When we get to that point, we can turn around if you think it’s too hard.”
“Sounds good.”
We walked side-by-side, neither of us saying a word. I could have said something, but I was feeling a little melancholy after reading that scripture this morning. It was like looking into a mirror and seeing myself for who I was…or at least who I’d been. I wanted things to change, wanted to renew my relationship with the Lord and find that fervor again.
We followed a path that led through a grove of tall trees and wound around like a snake. The sun peeked through the tops of the enormous pines and landed on our shoulders. It was mostly quiet except for the crunching noise our sneakers made when they came into contact with loose gravel. A few birds chirped above, and the wind moved lightly through the leaves, creating a light, swishing sound.
“How was your morning?” Colin’s voice was unsteady as he glanced at me. He was asking a question, making an effort.
“Good but hard. Mostly good though.”
The corners of his lips dipped down just the slightest. “Why was it hard?”
“I read this verse about loving God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength. It resonated with me, made me realize I’m not loving the Lord the way I should. I’m not giving Him my all.”
He nodded and stared at the path ahead. “Does that worry you?”
“I don’t know if worry is the right word—compelled, might be the better descriptor. The Lord is compelling me to come back to Him. To get back on the right path.”
“That’s good. It means God is pruning you because He loves you. Sometimes I wonder if I’m the only one dealing with His pruning. Glad to know it’s not just me.”
“When you mention pruning, you’re referencing John 15:2, aren’t you?”
“Yes.”
“And what have you been experiencing as far as that?”
He was quiet for a long moment as we crossed a narrow bridge and found our footing on the other side. By the time he spoke, I’d almost forgotten the question.
“The verse you mentioned about loving God,” he said, “it’s Luke 12:30. I know it well. But I struggle with the verse after it.”
“Which one is that?”
“The second is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself. There is no other commandment greater than these.’” He gnawed on his bottom lip for a few moments and then glanced at me. “Loving people requires vulnerability, and that’s something I have to work on.”
There was a hollowness in his eyes as if there was an entire story behind those words, but I knew I would have to earn his trust if I wanted to hear more. I had a feeling he’d just shared more with me than he had with anyone else in a long time. Turning, I studied him for a moment and shame washed through me as I realized something. “I need to ask for your forgiveness.”
He seemed troubled at my words and glanced at me in surprise. “Why?” The question was stated simply and without expectation.
“Because I made this big issue about you not asking questions on our first date, but I wasn’t much better. I haven’t taken the time to get to know you. I’m ashamed of myself—I’ve been way too self-absorbed.”
His eyes softened, and he patted me on the back a few times. It was an awkward attempt, but I appreciated that he was trying to comfort me. “Abby, it’s okay. I’m well aware that I didn’t make it easy for you. But you’re here, helping out a guy you barely know…just because. That means a lot to me.” He opened his mouth like he wanted to say more but then closed it, appearing unsure.
I could have filled the silence at that point, but I was really curious about what he’d say next.
With his hands in his pockets, head ducked down, he kicked a large pebble out of the way. “Can I ask you a question?”
“Of course. That’s what I want you to do: ask a lot of questions.” I grinned, trying to lighten the mood, but he didn’t smile back.
His brows pinched together, and he studied the ground, lost in thought. “Is something going on between you and Nick?”
So, he’d picked up on that. Actually, how could he not? Nick had put out a strange vibe yesterday, and I probably had a few vibes of my own going on. “We’re just friends. Nothing more.”
He frowned. “I definitely got the feeling there’s more.”
I winced, pressing my lips together. “On my side, maybe. We dated a long time ago—”
“How long?”
The urgency in his expression took me off guard. “It’s been about ten years.”
“You’ve known him that long?”
I nodded. “He told me he wasn’t ready to get serious, so we went back to being friends.”
“I see. And you want more.” He didn’t phrase it as a question.
“Well, the easy answer is yes, but lately I’ve been rethinking that. Nick isn’t always clear about how he feels about me. Besides that, I’m not entirely sure he’s the type of man I should even be interested in. You know, because of his commitment issues and propensity towards dating a lot of women.” I said the last part like it was a joke but Colin didn’t laugh and neither did I. It wasn’t funny—not really. I didn’t even know where Nick was spiritually because he rarely talked about it, but I didn’t say that out loud. “Yesterday, I told him I need space.”
“That must have been hard for him to hear.”
“Perhaps. He did feel bad about how things ended yesterday—even gave me two tickets to a baseball game to try to make up for everything.”
“You like baseball?”
I sighed. “Not really.”
He started laughing but covered his mouth. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be laughing right now, but it’s sort of amusing.”
“What is?”
He stopped walking and
looked at me with an incredulous expression. “The guy has known you for ten years, yet he gives you tickets to a baseball game.” He threw his hands up as if nothing more needed to be said.
“And?”
“Either he doesn’t know you—really know you—or he doesn’t want to make the effort to give you a gift that actually means something to you.”
He was so on target it was scary. What was even stranger…his statement didn’t make me sad. Nick gave me tickets to a baseball game I didn’t want to go to, and I didn’t care that he didn’t think it through more. Maybe that meant I was starting to let go.
A small smile pulled at the corner of my lips. “How did you get so smart?”
He shrugged. “Just using common sense.” We approached a stream, and Colin walked ahead. “This part can get a little tricky. It’s not difficult to step across, but we’ll have to balance ourselves on the rocks one foot at a time.”
I crossed my arms and looked at him skeptically. “You didn’t tell me we had to cross a stream.”
“It’s easy. In fact, if you want, you can hold on to my hand. I’ll help you.”
“Um…I don’t know about that.”
“The water is low. If you fall in, it won’t sweep you away. You’ll probably just get wet up to your knees.”
“That doesn’t appeal to me at all. If it were warmer…”
“You’ll be fine, Abby. You can do this.”
I hesitated and took in the scene. “How will I know which rocks to step on?”
“I’ll go ahead of you and tell you where to place your feet.”
I must have looked skeptical again because he chuckled and there was a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Maybe I should throw you over my back until we get to the other side.”
“And have us both fall in? You can’t carry me and keep your balance.”
He cleared his throat and widened his stance. “One thing you should know about me: I don’t take well to people telling me I can’t do something. It just makes me want to prove them wrong.”
“You seriously think you can cross with me on your back? Come on, now.”
He shrugged. “It’s not that far.”
Blind Date with a Billionaire Professor (Blind Date Disasters) Page 10
