by Casey Hagen
“I can’t begin to apologize. There’s nothing I can say. Jesus, I just didn’t want to accept that he was capable of that.”
“He tried to rape her. He intended to kill her.”
“I didn’t tell him she was here. He had to have seen her from the truck. I’m sorry. I really didn’t want to believe he was capable of this. For years I told myself it was the drinking. I’ve been watching that. I was with him before he left. He was stone-cold sober,” Frayley said.
“And a psychopath. Don’t forget that part.”
“And a psychopath,” Frayley admitted. “Look, I should go, but I needed you to know I don’t condone this, and I hope she’s going to be okay.”
Slade sighed. Fuck, he really wanted to hate the guy, but Frayley stood there, defeated and just as dismayed that one if his own could do something so horrible.
“Thank you for that, at least.”
“It was the right thing to do. Look, I’m going to go. I just needed to say that. Man to man.”
Slade shook his hand and waited for him to go before heading into the house.
Lisa sat at the dining table with a cup of tea; chai spice, her favorite. Slade washed his hands at the sink, but said nothing. Lisa didn’t stay up just to check on Ryan. He was positive of it. He’d seen the veiled looks she’d been aiming Ryan’s way the past couple of days. Plus, they had never discussed Lisa’s little bomb about making a mistake leaving him.
Of one thing he was sure: there was no way in hell he was taking her back.
He didn’t love her. Now that he loved Ryan, he wondered if he had ever loved Lisa. Maybe in a way, but not the way he loved Ryan. Not with everything he had. So maybe their demise was just as much his fault as it was hers.
“We need to talk about that woman,” Lisa said. She glared at him with that pinched expression that told him she was spoiling for a fight.
Slade leaned against the counter and crossed his arms. “That woman is none of your concern.”
Lisa moved to the sink and dumped what was left of her tea. “As long as she’s around my daughter, she is.”
“Our daughter,” Slade pointed out.
“Fine, our daughter,” she snapped.
“Don’t say it like you’re just trying to appease me. She’s our daughter. The sooner you figure that out, the better off we’ll all be.”
“I don’t want Ryan around Ivy anymore.”
“Why?”
“Because she attracts trouble.”
“Let’s call it what it really is. She attracts me.”
Lisa cocked her head. “Okay, let’s put it all on the table. I told you I made a mistake leaving you. Don’t you think you owe it to our daughter to see if you can work things out with me first? So we can give Ivy a family?”
“I owe it our daughter? I’m not the one who walked out, if you remember. And Ivy has a family, right here. A family that’s here for her every single day, while you’re off doing whatever the hell it is you do.”
“Well, I can see you’re just not going to be reasonable, so why don’t we discuss it when you’re rested?”
“No, thanks. You’re welcome here, because you’re Ivy’s mother. Beyond that, beyond visiting her, there’s nothing for you here.”
Lisa gave him a hard stare before walking down the hall toward the guest room.
Bloody hell, he needed this shit like he needed a hole in the head. He stopped outside of Ryan’s room. He heard the low rumble of Myra’s voice through the door and Ryan’s weak laughter.
Jesus, she had just been through the wringer and still she managed to laugh.
Slade took a shower of his own. He threw on some sweats and headed back down to Ryan’s door. It stood open this time; Ryan lay on the bed, her head resting on a stack of pillows. Myra had picked up the discarded clothes and put things back to rights after cleaning Ryan up.
“Thank you, Myra. You’ve gone above and beyond.”
She put a hand on his arm. “Don’t mention it. I would do anything for that sweet girl.”
“What about Ivy? Does she know what happened?”
Myra glanced over her shoulder at Ryan. “No, Lisa managed to keep it hidden from her while it was happening, but you’ll need to come up with an explanation for the morning.”
“I’ll do that.”
“Don’t linger too long; she needs her rest. Good-night,” Myra said.
Good-night.”
He made his way to the side of her bed, carefully so he didn’t startle her. When he sat on the edge, her eyes drifted open and she smiled.
“The movies make this brawling thing look so much easier,” she said
He laughed despite himself. “That’s sick.”
She waved her index finger at him. “But funny. You know damn well it’s funny.”
He took that finger in his hand and kissed the tip. “Yeah.”
“Slade?” she murmured.
She looked so small there tucked into her bed. Myra had cleaned her up well, but of course, now that the dirt had been washed away he saw the evidence of just what Cutter had done to her. The red, swollen cheek, fresh finger marks around her neck, scratches that disappeared under her T-shirt. “What is it, sweetheart?”
“Will you stay with me? Just while I fall asleep?”
Slade brushed the hair away from her face, careful not to hurt her. She’d been hurt so much already, and he refused to be one more person to cause her pain. “I’d be happy to.”
He settled against the pile of pillows and let her get comfortable. Comfortable for her happened to be curled against his side, her face pressed against his chest. Her warmth spread into him and, for the first time in hours, he relaxed. His muscles loosened, his breathing deepened, and before he knew it he’d drifted off.
***
“Slade!” Lisa said.
“What? What is it?” he said when Lisa’s shrill voice startled him awake. He glanced down at Ryan, who stirred, turning over and burrowing under the covers.
Slade crawled out of Ryan’s bed, stepped into the hall, and closed the door. “Why are you yelling?” he asked.
“Why am I yelling?! You spent the night with her!”
Slade glanced around to get his bearings. Sure enough, it was morning. “I agreed to stay while she fell asleep. She was scared. Apparently I fell asleep, too.”
Lisa put her hands on her hips and glared at him with accusing eyes. “What if Ivy had seen you? Any chance we might have would have been ruined.”
Slade scrubbed a hand over his face. He wasn’t awake enough for this shit. He needed coffee, a shower, and more damned coffee. “We don’t have a chance, Lisa. I’m not interested.”
She laid a hand over his chest. Her long red nails, the ones he’d once found so hot, only repulsed him now. “You don’t mean that. I’m sure if you think about it—” she began.
Slade took a step back and shook his head. “I don’t have to think about it. I don’t love you.” He didn’t know what it was, but something about her, the desperation in her eyes, had him wondering what she was up to. “What’s in it for you, anyway?”
“I want my family back.”
Was it really just that simple? She didn’t hesitate with her answer, which made Slade believe it might just be. “You shouldn’t have discarded us in the first place. It’s too late.” Unwilling to discuss it further, he headed for his bathroom and that shower.
Twenty minutes later, Slade joined Levi and Myra in the kitchen. “The guys head out already?”
Levi stood and refilled his mug. “Sure did. They were up early, despite the chaos from last night. They wanted to get a jump on the work and give you time to take care of Ryan.”
It’s not the first time the actions of his crew proved just how good a decision he’d made taking them on. “Remind me to give them all bonuses.”
Levi laughed. “I’ll do that. Also, I got her guitar back.”
Grant took the cup of coffee Myra handed him. “Great. I’ll stop over th
is morning, settle up with you, and pick it up.”
He cleared his throat. “So, uh, how is Ryan this morning?”
“Tired. I don’t expect to see her for a while yet.”
“Is that so?” Myra glanced behind him. “Good morning, honey. How are you feeling?”
Slade whipped around to find Ryan behind him. Her hair was braided over her shoulder. She held her flannel shirt closed over what he assumed was one of the tank tops she favored. Faded blue jeans covered her legs.
“Hi,” he said.
She tried to smile, and winced. “Hi. I, uh, I covered up. I didn’t want to scare Ivy.”
He would swear his heart broke with her words. “You don’t have to do that. I’m going to explain what happened to her. There’s no way we can hide it.”
Ryan’s worried eyes met his. “Slade, she’s so young.”
He took her hand and kissed her palm. “She’s young, but I would rather tell her than risk her overhearing something. This way I can tell it in the best possible way.”
“If you’re sure.”
“I am. I’m also sure that you’re taking the next few days off.”
“I don’t need to do that. The first day or two of the garden is planning and shopping.”
“I said you’re taking the next few days off. No arguments.”
“What will I do with all that time? I’m not used to just sitting around.”
“Spend some time with your guitar. You’ve had limited time to do so. Now you have more.”
“Slade,” Ryan said, exasperation lacing her tone.
“Ryan,” he returned with just as much impatience.
“Well, I’m just going to get out of your hair. Levi, why don’t we check on those horses?” Myra said.
“Sounds good.” Myra and Levi hightailed it out of the kitchen while Slade and Ryan stood off against one another.
Ryan sighed. “We’re driving people away now.”
“Seems like.” He wrapped his arms around her and didn’t even have to pull her in, because she stepped into him the minute his arms closed.
“I need to know you’re resting. That you’re healing. What he did to you…I’m still trying to come to terms with it. I should have been there. Hell, I had just been there. If I hadn’t left, if I had stayed and made love to you the way I wanted to, it never would have happened.”
“Eventually, it would have. You may have stopped that night, but he would have waited for an opportunity. What if I had been here alone? Or here with just Ivy?”
Slade squeezed her tighter and she yelped. “Shit. Sorry.”
“It’s okay. Normally, I like it. Right now, I feel it everywhere and not in good way.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. Like I said, there were worse times for it to happen. Luckily you all were around to help me.”
“You seemed to have things under control.”
“With a little help from Satan.” She smiled, rose up on her tiptoes, and kissed his rough chin.
He smoothed the wisps of hair from her face and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “I take it you like my horses now?”
She gave him a lopsided grin. “They’re growing on me.”
“Hmmm, sounds permanent.”
“Slade,” she warned.
He didn’t want to hear what she had to say. He didn’t want to let reality intrude. So he tilted her head back, and kissed her. Gentle kisses, careful of her cut lip. Her sigh told him she wasn’t feeling the pain, just pleasure.
He’d see Cutter in hell before he would let the guy near his family ever again.
***
Lisa stayed tucked in her doorway. She watched the little whore worm her way that much further into what wasn’t hers. Well, she was sure as hell going to put a stop to it. Slade was hers. She’d always counted on that. She counted on it even more now. If she didn’t do something she’d be out of money, with no prospects.
Slade had always been her go-to. She counted on that. Counted on his sense of honor. Counted on his desire to give Ivy a family. They were her family, damn it. Hers! That goody-two-shoes drifter was not going to worm her way in and take Lisa’s husband and daughter.
The time had come to put an end to it once and for all, and she knew just how to do it. If she couldn’t seduce Slade or prey on his sense of family, she would have to up her game.
She ducked back into her room and dug through her wallet to count her cash. She would take a hit, but her next purchase might just be the purchase that turned this whole thing around.
***
Ryan took a seat on Slade’s couch with Levi’s guitar. She had to admit Slade had a point. Not long after he left for the morning, she had gotten sleepy and had gone back to bed. The hum of ranch activity outside her open window lulled her to sleep for a good eight hours.
Late afternoon sunshine had streamed in and woken her. Her stiff muscles protested when she stretched, so she jumped into the shower and let the hot spray pound away at her stiff muscles.
She looked at her torso, where ugly marks marred her skin. If there was any justice in the world, she had put a few marks on Cutter; just as ugly as the ones he had put on her. Hopefully, in prison some inmate would gift him a few more.
The thought made her smile. She wasn’t ordinarily a vindictive person, but at the moment she fully supported the whole idea of “you reap what you sow.”
She curled her legs in front of her, set her notepad beside her, and played the notes she had put together a week or so earlier. The melody swept her away, and memories from the past few weeks filled her.
She smiled as she acknowledged each and every way Slade had won her over. The way he loved his daughter, his love and respect for his patchwork family, even the way he accepted Lisa showing up, and giving her the space to visit Ivy.
Other memories slowly took over, long looks, his exasperation with her strong will, the kiss in the window, making love in the barn, the way he’d looked at her when Ivy played guitar in her lap, and the way he went for blood when faced with what Cutter had done to her.
It was never more important that she go home and take care of the loose ends there. She would honor her commitment to Slade first, and then she would put on her grown-up panties and handle her business.
Her first order of business: finalizing things with Carter. The woman she had turned into in the past few weeks wouldn’t have run. She couldn’t change how she’d handled it, but she could change how she handled it going forward.
She would never cower again.
A pair of red cowgirl boots came to a screeching halt before Ryan. Slade’s weren’t far behind. Ivy’s usual bright smiling face wore a look of uncertainty and maybe a little bit of fear.
She hated that look of fear. “Hi, sweetheart,” Ryan said.
Ivy’s forehead scrunched. “Daddy said a bad man hurt you.”
“Yes, a very bad man, but he’s gone now and he’s not coming back.”
“Did you hurt him back?”
“You bet I did.”
“Good.”
Ryan smiled. “You and I, missy, we’re going to discuss when it is and isn’t okay to hurt someone, but not right at the moment. Why don’t you get your guitar and we’ll play for a while?”
“Are you sure?”
“Positive. Go on now, I have a song I need to finish and I need your help,” Ryan said. She watched Ivy run down the hall, then glanced up to Slade. “How did it go with her?”
He sat on the arm of the easy chair. “It wasn’t as bad as I thought. Probably because of what you told her about being a superhero the day we picked you up. Her biggest confusion seemed to be that superheroes in cartoons don’t have bruises, but you do.”
Ryan laughed. “Leave it to a kid to break it down like that. I’m grateful for it.”
“Me, too. Oh, I almost forgot. Hang tight, I’ll be right back.”
He disappeared down the hall. Ivy returned and jumped onto the couch next to Ryan. “So what d
o I get to do?”
“I think I have the melody, but we need words. What do you say; think you can help me out?”
“Sure I can. Will you teach me the melody?”
“Of course.”
“Why don’t you teach her with this?” Slade said. He reached over the couch and lowered the guitar in front of Ryan.
Ryan gasped. Her guitar. He had fixed her guitar. Tears, fat and hot, ran down her cheeks. The stunning workmanship hid the fact that the guitar had ever been broken. It was like that night had never happened.
Only it had.
The good that had resulted far outweighed the bad.
She tipped her head back and smiled through her tears. “You have no idea how much this means to me.”
He wiped away the tears that now rolled from the corner of her eyes, down her temples, and into her hair. “I don’t know… I think I might. Go ahead and write your song with Ivy.”
“You know The Dolan Children’s Fund is having an event in a couple weeks. They’re calling for entertainment. What do you think of Ivy and me giving it a shot?”
“Daddy, can we?”
Slade smiled at his little girl, then winked at Ryan. “I think that’s a good idea.”
They played for three hours, only taking a brief break for dinner. They played until their fingers went numb, until Ivy’s seemingly never-ending energy finally ran out. “I think it’s time for bed, kiddo. You have a horse coming in tomorrow morning and you’re going to need to be ready to take care of her.”
“’Kay,” Ivy mumbled, then slid off the couch.
Ryan yawned and tried to cover it.
“You should probably get some rest, too,” Slade said from behind her. He rested his hands on her shoulders, started to dig in, but then stopped.
“I’m not breakable.”
His gruff sounded next to her ear. “I’m getting that, but it’s hell watching you test that theory.”
She turned and kissed his cheek. “I’m going to be okay. Nothing can hurt me now. Do me a favor? Tuck me in?”
“I’d be happy to.”
He knocked on her doorframe twenty minutes later, wearing the same sweats from the night before, and his chest, God that chest, he left bare. She wished she looked better for him. The split in her lip was just a line now, and the swelling in her cheek had gone down considerably, but the skin was starting to turn a faint purple color.
