by A. M. Hudson
Chapter 15
They say that time passes—that it keeps moving on without us. But they’re wrong. Time can stand still. I’ve seen it in the sunset, or the snow falling onto a single, red leaf; watched it in the eagle floating on a breeze. And for me, while David’s been in my life, time has been absent. I exist each day for only him; to be beside him, to breathe him in, to feel him and touch him as he touches me. I’ve not had a student, or seen my family, I hardly speak to Emily anymore, and I can’t even look at Mike; every time I’m around him, the desire to be with him burns me like a desert sun.
The winter cools my flaming heart, though, and the days do pass, one by one—despite my denial of the ticking hand—drawing me ever closer to the time when my world will stop indefinitely; when David leaves, and I never see him again.
Time will have no meaning then, either, except for the past. Memories, that will be all that’s left of him, all that’s left of me.
“Everything looks so different in the winter.” I half closed my eyes against the glare of sun on snow, warming my hands in the pockets of my red coat. With the bare trees reaching toward the sun, and the golden ribbons of foliage blown away until next year, there was a kind of openness to the forest, like the privacy had been stolen away, leaving us standing in a spotlight for all to see.
David stood behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist. “It’s more beautiful, I think. But maybe that’s just because you’re here with me.”
From his elbow to his wrist, I slid my fingers down his black corduroy sleeves and linked them through his.
Our lake had nearly frozen since we were last here, and as the afternoon sun settled on the clouded grey sky, the freshly fallen snow glowed a dense purple-blue.
But despite the nakedness of this once flourishing forest, the bare trees didn’t resemble lifelessness to me, anymore, as they once had—only the end of a chapter, the silence before a new beginning.
“Come. Walk with me.” David took my hand and led me to the water’s edge.
“David!” I stopped as he stepped out onto the lake. “It’s not completely frozen—we could fall in.”
“This part’s fine.” He tapped his foot on the narrow channel of ice, freezing up the once shallow sandbar to the island. “Do you trust me?”
“Implicitly.” I took his hand, stepping onto the slippery ice bridge.
“You see? Solid.” He swiftly wrapped me in his arms, my hips pressed to his, my body arching at the waist so I could look up at him.
“Okay. I feel safer now.” I let out a pathetic giggle, resting my hands on his chest. Close to his body, the sting of frost on my nose and cheeks tingled as hot blood flowed up under them; David laughed.
“What?” I asked.
“You still blush when I hold you this way.” He looked down and stroked a finger over my cheek. “I love that.”
The distant call of an eagle, like a swooping whistle, broke the blissful silence around the lake for a second. I buried my nose into David’s chest, breathing deep the faded hint of his musky soap as it mixed with the dry smell of ice and cold.
Quiet as a whisper at first, he started singing the words to the song he once dedicated to me here, by the lake, and we swayed softly, turning gently on the spot as I closed my eyes to the hum of his melodious voice, needing no music.
With the familiar words, my clumsy lips mumbled his harmony, and as he twirled me out from his body, I giggled, exhaling the words of the song when he spun me back in quickly, smiling.
I felt safe, warm, and though my skirt and tights weren’t really intended to be worn outside, I felt none of the cold at all in his arms. The limitless supply of blood—my blood—made him warmer than I’d ever known him to be, though the bite, the kill, was something he had to steal from the innocent while I slept.
When our song ended, we stood still on the frozen water; David rested his lips against my hair for a while—just breathing.
The eagle flew above us again, calling out as he circled on an invisible current over the murky sky.
David’s grip tightened. “Ara? I have to tell you something.”
I tensed all over, looking up as he moistened his lips, perhaps in preparation for bad news. “What is it?”
“It’s almost time for me to leave, and I—”
“What?” I took a long step backward. “No, it’s too soon.”
“I know.” He glided toward me. “I don’t want to leave, but I promised to stay until you were better—and you are now. I cannot stay any longer for fear of risking your life.”
“I don’t care—they can take it. It’s nothing without you.” I burst into tears, pinching the corners of my eyes to make it stop. “David, I—if you brought me here to say goodbye, then you might as well just throw me in the—”
“No.” He grabbed my wrists, pulling them away to look into my face. “No, I didn’t bring you here for that, sweetheart. I...I brought you here so we could talk—away from listening ears—to say…” He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. “To tell you that I’m sorry. That I made a big mistake when I said goodbye to you. I had to live with that mistake for longer than I could bear. I don’t want to leave you again, mon amour. I brought you here to say that we have to run away—” his strong fingers gripped my upper arms, “—we have to go as far away from here as we can, because if we don’t, they’ll find you—and they’ll kill you.”
My heart wouldn’t believe my ears. My skin tightened with goosebumps, and tears stopped in the corners of my eyes. “David. Are you saying that—?”
“I’m saying I want to start over, Ara—someplace else—somewhere we can be together. Where none of the past matters, where you and I are all that exists in the world.”
“You want to run away together?”
He smiled as he wiped a tear from my cheek. “Would you want that—to run away, with me, even though we could never truly live in peace?”
My watery eyes flicked over his, my mouth hanging open in disbelief. “How can you ask me that? You know the answer already.”
“Then…” he hesitated, “that’s a yes?”
“Yes, it’s a yes, dummy.” I flung my arms around his neck, standing on my toes to hug him tighter.
“Oh, thank God. I was so afraid you…” He placed me on the ground and shook his head. “Never mind. It’s not important. What’s important now is discussing our next move.”
“Where will we go?”
“I have a friend—she will help us. We’ll go to Paris, under the protection of the Lilithians in the Ninth Order, and—”
“They can change me,” I stated, my eyes wide. “The Lilithians. Eric told me about th—”
“Uh. Stop right there.” He held his finger up; “I’ve already thought of it, and I don’t want that for you.”
“Why?” My brow tightened with the slap of rejection.
“Do you really want to thirst my blood? If you become one of them—you won’t be the same.”
“It’s no different to how it is now. I crave you now—except that I could be immortal—be with you forever.”
“Ara—” He shook his head.
“Don’t you want me for eternity? I don’t understand.” I took a step back, laying my feet down flat on the slippery ice so as not to slide.
“It’s not that, Ara.”
“Then what is it?”
“It’s because they want my head on a stake—the vampires. I left them. They need to make an example of me.” He walked humanly slow to stand in front of me again. “If you’re immortal, and they catch us, they won’t just kill you. I can’t let you get hurt like that, mon amour. The tortures a human can live through are far less than what a vampire will be subjected to—for eternity.”
“Then I won’t get caught.” I brushed his hand away from my face.
“I thought you didn’t want to be immortal? I thought you wanted death one day?”
“David?” I looked him in the eye. “You know I changed my mind. I to
ld you that.”
“No, you were just saying that—” his neck jutted forward, his eyes wide, “—because it was no longer a possibility. You were just trying to make me happy.”
“No! I meant it when I said it. I want to be immortal—with you—forever. Not just for my forever.”
“But, your mum, and Harry?”
“They’re dead, David.” I dropped my arms. “And there’s no guarantee I’ll even see them in the afterlife. But I can guarantee that I’ll have you. If I become immortal, I can guarantee that we’ll always be together.”
David closed his eyes and lowered his head. “I never thought I’d hear you say that.”
“You were never around for me to say it.”
“And for that, I am eternally sorry.” We stood, surrounded by the chill of the afternoon, staring at each other, frozen by the anticipation of the future. David broke the breathless silence first. “You would really change—for me?”
I placed my hand on my chest and shook my head as I spoke. “With all of my heart—I’ll promise you eternity.”
“That’s all I ever wanted.” He smiled and lifted me into his arms, spinning me around in the middle of the ice bridge over our secret lake.
“So, when do you leave?” Mike’s breath came across the dining table, warmed with the smell of coffee. He set his cup down by his other hand and looked at David.
“Early spring,” I said. “David’s Set won’t return ‘til then.”
“Wouldn’t it be smarter to leave now, then?” Emily said. “Get out while you can?”
I shook my head. “I need time to say goodbye to Dad and Vicki.”
“Will you ever come back?” Mike asked hesitantly.
Emily slid Mike’s coffee cup aside and weaved her fingers through his.
“I don’t know,” I said. “It’ll be dangerous for us—they’ll always be after David, now.”
“What if it doesn’t work?” Mike leaned forward a little. “What if you don’t change and you go into a coma again?”
“A Lilithian transformation differs to a vampire,” David advised. “Genetics don’t come into play.”
“So, you will be immortal. There’s no question?” Mike looked at me.
“Yes.”
“I’m not sure I like it, Ara.” His serious face slipped on like a mask.
“But—”
“But it’s what you want.” He held up his index finger, then grinned at David. “So, I know you don’t need it, but you have my blessing to kidnap my best friend and turn her into the living dead.”
“They’re not dead, Mike.” I rolled my eyes.
“I know.” Mike winked at me.
“There’s something else.” I sat taller; David stiffened beside me. “Em?”
Her face mimicked my inward concern. “Ara? What is it?”
“David didn’t want to tell you this—”
“Ara.” David, with his hands clasped on the table in front of him, turned his head an inch and shook it.
“I’m sorry, David. She needs to know.” I looked back at Mike and then, especially, at Emily. “You have to join a Set. It’s against—”
“Ara.” She squirmed in her seat, smiling. “I’m not joining a Set—that’s crazy. I’m not one of them.”
Mike rested his elbow on the table and rubbed his brow. “I forgot about that.”
“About what?” Em looked at David. “What are you saying—that I have no choice?”
“Em.” Mike reached across and took her hand again. “Ara’s right. David educated me on the politics—back when Ara was in hospital, and I—” He shook his head. “Look, the point is, they’ll come after you if you don’t join a Set.”
“But I’m not one of them,” she cried. “I don’t want this. I don’t want that life.”
“None of us did, Em.” David sighed and leaned back in his chair. “It’s just a part of it.”
“But—” her glassy eyes moved from David to Mike. “But I’ll have to leave Mike. He—we—we won’t be able to be together, will we?”
“Not long-term. It’s against the law.” David’s face showed no emotion; the factual lawyer rising to the surface.
Mike sat back in his chair and dropped his hands in his lap.
“I’m sorry, Emily,” David said.
The song playing on the radio in the background forced too much joy into the empty moment—a song for dancing, celebrating. But Emily was torn apart inside, anyone could see that—could see the panic, the desperation to find some way to change it, to have some power.
She doesn’t want this life. I wanted it, and now it’s a burden to her. I hate Jason, right now.
“Can’t we run?” Mike asked, charged by her desperation. “Can’t we—”
“Mike,” David interjected, resting his face in his hands, his elbows on the table. “This is why I left Ara in the first place, okay. I didn’t want this life for her, either, but you two went looking for trouble—” he presented his palm to Emily, “—and now you’ve got it.”
“David!” I slapped him on the arm.
“Sorry, but it’s the way things are. If you don’t like it—”
“Well I don’t!” Emily folded her arms. “I don’t want to be a vampire.”
“And yet you have no choice!” David yelled back; we all froze.
“David, please?” her tone softened as she looked at him. “Please, take me with you when you go?”
“It’s too dangerous.”
“But, what about Ara—you’re taking her. Wouldn’t it be better if we all went? We could keep each other safe.”
“And what about Mike?” I asked. “If you join a Set, you can at least see him still.”
“Yeah, until we have to move on, or until they imprison me for being with a human.”
“Why are you yelling at me, Emily?” I pressed my fingers to my chest. “I didn’t do this!”
“Yes, you did! If you’d never—”
“Girls, girls.” Mike cut in, palms raised. “Stop arguing. We can figure this out.”
We both shut up.
“Emily?” Mike looked at her. “Ara and David are right. It’s silly to get yourself in trouble with the law for no reason. The vamps have nothing on you right now. And Ara—” he looked at me, “—if Emily wants to run, that’s her decision. I support her one hundred percent, and David—” my vampire looked up, “—so should you.”
We all sat silently, looking into our laps, except Emily, who smiled at Mike.
“You have until spring to make your decision, Emily,” David said. “If you plan to run—you better run far, and you better run fast.”
She clapped, bouncing in her seat. “Oh, thank you, David. You won’t regret this, I promise.”
He rubbed a finger in his ear, grimacing at her loud voice. “I think I’m beginning to already.”
She smiled widely and took Mike’s hand again, unable to see the pain her decision just caused him.
“Em?”
She looked up to my grave tone.
“You know that means leaving Mike behind, right?”
“No. He can run with us.”
“He’s human, Emily.” I presented him. “He won’t survive a vampire-run.”
“Of course he will.” She trilled. “You can change him once they change you, Ara.”
I doubled back, sinking into my seat a little more. Why didn’t I think of that?
David’s teeth showed with his beaming grin and he took my hand.
“David? Do you think that’s possible?”
“It’s more than possible,” he said. “It’s extremely illegal, but then, changing you is against the law anyway.” He shrugged. “What have we got to lose?”
We all looked at Mike, who sat stiff, surrounded by an air of worry that contradicted his brimming smile.
“Mike? Say something.” I leaned on my elbows.
He took a gulp of air and rubbed his forehead, nodding. “Okay. Yeah, sure, okay.”
Emily jumped in her seat, clapping again.
“Let’s do it, yeah.” He seemed to be simultaneously convincing himself while trying to show only happiness.
Emily flung her arms around him. “Oh, Mike, we’re gonna be so happy. All of us.”
Mike smiled at me through Emily’s soft blonde hair as it fell around his face.
“Welcome to the family,” David said, and I bristled with pride, watching them shake hands across the table.
Family. My family.
“So, it’s settled then,” I said when the boys sat back down. “If you guys can stay under the radar until David and I come back from Paris, I’ll change Mike, and we’ll all run together.”
“It won’t be an ideal life,” David added, then smiled and squeezed my hand. “But I think I can handle forever with you guys.”
“Forever?” Mike grinned. “Sounds good to me.”
“Me too.” Emily reached for David’s hand, keeping hold of Mike’s, and the warmth of the love this strange little family had flowed through the united hands of vampire and human alike.
At last, forever is one promise David will get to keep.
I watched him buttoning his white shirt, his hair a mess atop his head, falling in thick dark waves onto his brow. With a deep breath, I squirmed a little on the bed, inching my fingers into my hair, trying to ignore the hormonal urges rushing through every muscle in my body. But when he smiled at me through the reflection, his emerald eyes becoming small with humour, I couldn’t take it anymore. I tucked my feet under my thighs and pressed my knees together. “Make love to me.”
He must have known I was thinking it, because he wasn’t surprised by my words. “So, I’m allowed to be more than a friend now, am I?”
“Yes. Now that you’re not leaving me.”
He stopped buttoning his shirt and watched me in the mirror; I tilted my head against my shoulder and twisted my hair around my finger—a really poor attempt at sexy.
“Even if I was willing, we don’t have time tonight.”
“We can make time.” I offered my brightest smile, the one I knew made my eyes sparkle—the one I knew he couldn’t resist.
He took a long breath through his nose, then quickly let it out, his better judgement stepping back in to ruin my night. “Finish getting dressed. Your parents will be here any minute.”
