by A. M. Hudson
“If what, David?’
“If you’re not a virgin.”
“David! We’ve been through this.”
He rubbed his chin. “Are you sure that when my brother kidnapped you, he didn’t—”
“Yes!” I cringed. “I’m sure he didn’t. Besides, there’s no Mark there.” I pulled my hair away. “See? If he’d raped me I’d be Marked.”
“I know.” He breathed out. “And that wouldn’t explain how deeply you feel for Mike, either. Are you sure he’s not a vampire?”
I laughed.
“But, then, if that were the case and Mike had bound you to him, you would be incapable of loving me.” He scratched his chin, taking a breath. “You do still love me, don’t you?”
I walked slowly to where he leaned, naked, against the foot of the bed. “I just gave myself to you, and you ask if I love you?”
His lips curved before the smile showed in his eyes. “I guess that was a silly question.”
I pressed my naked body against his, feeling the silky warmth of him all the way down my ribs, my stomach and knees. “Maybe I didn’t Mark because I died when Jason bit me. Maybe I’m not human anymore—I might be an apparition.”
David smiled and squeezed my hips. “Well, you’re a fantastic apparition, then.”
With the force of my eagerness, we toppled over the foot of the bed, his arms wrapping my body as it fell on top of his.
“I love you, David.”
“No more talk.” He grinned through our kiss. “Make love to me now, apparition.”
Chapter 18
The sun warmed the heart of my room where I lay beside the love of my life. My hand fell against his pillow but cold greeted my touch.
I sat up, panicked, and looked around.
“In here,” he called, his voice echoing.
I flopped back down. Bathroom. Still here. Relief washed over me, coming to rest beside a rise of giggles when the memory of last night hit me. My sheets were ruined again, something I was used to now, and the sticky, dried blood that pulled softly on the fine hairs of my neck didn’t seem to gross me out as much as before. With the white glow of winter morning light, I held my shimmering diamond up and marvelled at the pink tone it took, resting over dried blood on my fingertips. A blood diamond.
David popped his head around the corner, his face a mess with white cream. “Morning, beautiful fiancé.”
My smile spread from ear to ear, making remains of dried blood around my lips crack. “Morning.”
“You having a shower?”
I nodded. David stored his razor between his teeth as he plucked a towel from his shoulder and held it out to me.
“Thanks,” I said, falling into his embrace, too aware that the top of my head was being smeared with shaving cream from his chin.
“Sleep well?”
“Better than ever before.”
He pulled back and kissed my brow, then wiped the remaining shaving cream. “Good. Now, take a shower, get clean, then, I wanna make you breakfast.”
Mm, David’s breakfast. “Okay.” I stepped into the shower and ran my hand through my hair, letting the warm water separate the crusted blood from my skin. “How is it a vampire who doesn’t need food can be such a good cook?”
He tapped his razor on the sink, looking at me through the mirror, the glass shower screen leaving me nothing to hide behind. “My tastebuds are very sensitive.”
“Oh. Guess that helps.”
“It does.” He appeared in the shower, his towel gone, his naked, wet body against mine. I wrapped my arms around his neck, letting shampoo fall in thick soap mounds down the centre of my back.
“I had fun last night.”
He smiled to himself and kissed my cheek. “Then we shall have to do it again sometime.”
“Sometime? How ‘bout now?”
“How ‘bout I go get the coffee pot on.”
I opened my mouth to protest, but as usual, he was already gone, so I finished up, towel dried my hair and threw some clothes on, stopping by my bedroom door for a second to listen to pots and pans clanking a little too loudly in the kitchen.
“Ara—don’t go in there.” Emily grabbed my arm as I passed the lounge.
“Why?”
“He’s really mad.”
“Who?”
“Mike.”
“Why?”
She folded her arms and looked past the entryway. “You know why as well as I do.”
“Is it—he’s mad because I had sex last night?”
“More like because you did it before you got married, and—”
“There is no ‘and’.” I folded my arms and stormed past Emily. He has no right to be mad. “Mike! What’s the deal?”
He slammed a pot into the sink and pointed at David, who appeared behind me, his face lit with a smile. “Shut up, David. It’s not funny.”
David laughed louder. “You can’t control her, Mike. She’s a grown woman now.”
“Yes—I saw that.” Mike shook his head and rested his palms on the edge of the sink.
“Mike, you can’t be mad because I slept with David.”
“You were supposed to wait, Ara.” He turned to me. “I can’t believe you did that, and worse, you let him bite you. After you promised me—”
“Hey!” I stepped forward, my hands on my hips. “I promised I wouldn’t let Eric bite me—not David.”
Mike turned away and started running the tap.
“Don’t do that.” I grabbed his arm and spun him around. “Don’t deflect. If you’ve got a problem—say it.” I flicked the tap off.
David laughed again, appearing across the room, behind Emily, when Mike shot him a death-glare.
“David, stop laughing at him,” I pleaded. “Can we get a moment here? Please, guys?”
Em and David evaporated.
“Why is David finding this so funny?” I looked at Mike, who stuffed his hands in his pockets, letting out a breath.
“Because.”
“Because why?”
“Because...when he asked me the other day how I’d feel when you guys make things...final, I told him I’d be fine.”
“You’re not fine?”
“No. Ara. I’m not.” Mike walked closer and looked down at me, a familiar friend so foreign to me now, but the look behind his eyes transparently concealing agony. “I’m really not. All this is just too sudden for me. I’d prepared myself to spend the rest of my life with you. Now, we’re talking eternity, and I don’t even get to be with you. I…” He pressed his lips in.
“Mike?” My voice glided slowly from my lips and I rubbed my temples.
“It’s okay, Ara, really. It’s not like I want you to break up with him, and it’s not like I wanna leave Emily. I just wasn’t prepared to see you—” He wiped his hand over his mouth, pinching his lip for a second.
“I’m sorry. You weren’t supposed to see that.”
“I just—David should’ve been more careful. He could’ve killed you last night.”
“Only if he drained me.”
“No, if he bit you, Ara—how can you not see this?”
“Because obviously his bite has no effect on me!” Like other things. I rubbed my palm across my neck—where my Mark should’ve been.
Mike studied me carefully. “Are you a vampire?”
“What?”
“Ara, answer me. Are you a vampire?”
“No. God, Mike, you know that, you know I—”
“Do I? I can’t hear your heart. For all I know, when that demon bit you, he—”
“Nothing happened. Look!” I grabbed his hand and placed it to my breast; he tensed, but stayed there. “See—heartbeat.”
“Okay. Fine. So you’re human.” He dropped his hand. “So what’s the deal then?”
“We don’t know. If I have the gene, there’s no reason for the venom to poison me.”
“And if you do, why haven’t you changed?”
“Because you can’t just
bite someone to change them. You know that.”
“That’s all Jason did to Emily.” Mike pointed to her room.
“Are you sure? He locked you out. Are you sure he didn’t do something else?”
Mike went to speak but stopped, seeming to change emotional tactic. “I don’t know.”
“Look, David and I will figure this out, okay. When we go to Paris, we’ll talk to his friend—see what she knows.”
Mike nodded, raising his palms. “Okay. Fine. Okay. I’ll stay out of it. Just...in the meantime, please promise me you won’t let him bite you.”
“Mike. Stop it. You can’t protect me all the time. I’m going to get hurt, I’m going to get bitten—and pretty soon, bite. It’s a part of it. If you want to be my friend, you just have to accept that.”
“I do accept it, Ara.”
“No, you don’t.”
“I do.” He softened. “I just...I just got scared, is all.”
“I know.” I wrapped my arms around his waist and pressed my cheek to his chest, listening to the strange sound of his heart, thudding under his breath. He still smelled like home, like Mike—familiar and constant. Despite his broken heart, I knew he’d always be here, always side with me, always want me, and I knew the smell of him would always make me feel safe and loved. Even my attempt to bind myself to David hadn’t changed that.
“Ha!” He looked down at me. “It’s funny. You’re still just as short as you’ve always been. You really weren’t gifted with height, were you?”
“No. Nor luck.” I sighed.
“What’s luck got to do with it?”
“Can’t you feel it?” I leaned back and looked up at him. “The way you make me feel? It’s like I forget I’m with David when I’m in your arms.”
“Yeah. I know.” He sighed heavily, his coffee-scented breath warm and kind of sugary; I wanted to wrap my lips around his, knowing too well how they’d taste.
“Earth to Ara?” He clicked his fingers in front of my face a few times.
“Oh, uh sorry.” I scratched my head, taking a step away.
“You gotta stop phasing out, Ar.”
“I know.” I cleared my throat. “So, I think you need to talk to Emily. She may be supportive of your feelings for me, but she’s still human. Okay, well, not human, but she still feels things like a human. You being mad about this, it’s hurt her. I can tell.”
“I know.” Mike breathed out. “I just…I don’t really know what to say.”
“Yes, you do.” I took another step back. “Mike you’re good with words. Just tell her the truth—from the heart.”
“I’m not sure I know what the truth is.” He combed his hand through his hair.
“Mike, she loves you. All she wants is for you to love her back.”
“I do—I do love her.”
“Then tell her. You haven’t even said it yet, have you?”
“No.”
“What are you afraid of?”
“I don’t know.” But his tone said otherwise.
“I think you do know.”
His eyes smiled, though his lips didn’t. “I guess it’s...it’s just because I told you I loved you, and then I lost you.”
Guilt. “Then tell her that. Tell her you love her but you’re afraid she’s going to leave you—like I did.”
“I can’t tell her that, can I?”
“Yes. Nothing beats the truth.”
Mike leaned on the bench and folded his arms. “So, what are we going to do, then?”
“Secret love affair?” I said, with a grin.
“Don’t joke.” He wiped the corner of my smile with his thumb. “You think for a second I wouldn’t?”
“Then why are you with Em? If that’s how you really feel?”
“Why are you with David? You still love me.”
I nodded with a smile. “Touché.”
Mike stared at me, motionless. “I hate it that you slept with him.”
“I belong to him, Mike. I’m his to love.”
“You belong to you.”
“Yes, but that’s not what I mean, and you know it.” I leaned on the bench, too. “I’m David’s girl. It’s only right for us to make love.”
“Love, huh? So that’s what you’re calling it.” He turned away and opened the fridge, then stopped. “I’m sorry, Ara. I didn’t mean that.”
I swallowed my infuriation, biting the inside of my lip to stop from crying. “You have to move on, Mike. This is getting ridiculous.”
“I know,” he said, closing his eyes.
Before he had a chance to add anything else, I stormed from the room, leaving him alone with his pain, hearing only a sigh as I reached the front door.
The morning burst through the clouds above, opening up over the tree at the far side of the field. In the daylight, this dream looked different; the wide plains of golden knee-high grass whispered tales untold, and in the distance a lighthouse sat proudly, marking the edge of a cliff I couldn’t see. I folded my arms across my chest, wrapping the long cream cardigan closer to my body, and let my hair whip out behind me in the wind. Somewhere nearby, soft giggles lilted among the warmth of day, becoming louder with each step I took.
“Hello?” I called, but no one answered.
I stopped beneath the bows of the tree, staring down at a girl; her hair soft and wavy, dark brown, like mine, falling over the back of her canary yellow dress.
“I missed you today,” a boy said, landing beside her, appearing out of nowhere.
She rolled her cheek into his touch, closing her eyes as he swept her hair from her shoulder and kissed her alabaster skin. “Maybe I should sleep more often, so I can be with you,” she said.
“I’d like that.”
The girl rolled over then, looking up as she did, but when our eyes met, freezing me in place, she just smiled, like I was a ghost; a spectator who had no bearing on life. The boy didn’t notice me at all, or if he did, made no attempt to let me know.
“What should we do today, Jase?”
“How ‘bout that flight I promised you,” he said, cradling her head in the crook of his elbow, looking down so lovingly at her smile.
“Maybe. But, for now, I just want to lay here.”
“Your wish, Ara-Rose, is my command.”
With the deep breath she drew, her hands clasped on her belly, she exuded happiness; the joy of summer, the easiness of love, melting the world around her in soft, white light. “Jason?”
“Yes, sweet girl?”
“When are we going to tell him?”
“Soon.” He nodded to himself, contemplative. “I have everything planned for our departure.”
She smiled sweetly and rolled onto her belly again, winding her thin finger around a strand of grass. “It’s going to kill him, you know.”
“I know.” Jason rolled onto his belly, too, elbows propped under his chest. “And I know you love him.”
“I love you more,” she said, turning her head to smile at him; his face split into the biggest, cheesiest grin. “It’ll hurt though. I’ll miss him.”
“I could make you forget.” He traced a line over her cheek; she closed her eyes, revelling in his touch.
Inside, I felt the sun go down, felt the world around me change and shift, growing colder, but the day stayed bright, despite me usually being in control of this place. This scene didn’t belong to me, it had already happened, and I was just watching from a place neither time nor want could change a thing. The girl, me, bobbed her head. “Can you make it go away for forever?”
Jason’s voice softened to beyond caring, “If that’s what you want.”
“How? You can’t just erase a memory permanently. How do you do that?”
“Do you remember the dream you had, when I changed your hair colour? How, when you woke up—” He smoothed his fingers over her hair and a vibrant blonde trailed behind them. “Look in the mirror.”
The roof looked grey under the cloud of dawn. I pressed my palms besid
e my legs, listening to the restful breathing of David, sound asleep beside me, the warmth of my dream still tingling in my cheeks.
My hair!
Touching the ends, I ran to my mirror, my heart pounding as I looked at my face; pale and soft, my eyes sparkling a brighter blue against the golden, honey colour of my hair. “Blonde?”
“What’s blonde?” David sat up and looked at me.
“My hair.” I looked back at the mirror. “Does it look lighter to you?”
David’s sweet scent filled my breath before I felt his arms on my waist. “Still the same beautiful chocolate it’s always been.”
“I had a dream,” I said with wide eyes. “Golden hair.”
“Perhaps it’s your subconscious mind adjusting to the idea that you’ll stay the same forever,” he said, his cheeky grin warming the room.
“Very analytical, David.”
He reached around my shoulder and brushed his fingers through the length of my blonde hair, studying it carefully. “It’s pretty. You’re not thinking of changing the colour, are you?”
Looking at him in the mirror, standing behind me with a calm smile across his lips, it felt as though he was in a different world—somewhere beyond the looking glass, a place I couldn’t go. What he could see; the face, the hair, the frame of this girl he loved, was something so different to the gold-haired traitor I stared at.
“No,” I said, maybe a little too late. “I’m not thinking of changing it.”
“Come on.” David wrapped his arm around my shoulder. “Come back to bed.”
Through the dark room, I walked beside him, touching the ends of my blonde hair, willing it back to brown. “David?”
“Yeah,” he said, letting his head fall softly on the pillow beside me.
“I—” I wanted to say I dreamed of him. I dreamed I loved him, planned to leave you. But the words stuck down my throat. “Are you sure my hair’s not blonde?”
He swept his long fingertips across my scalp, his cool touch tingling throughout my entire body; my eyes fluttered and closed involuntarily. “I’m sure. Must’ve been some dream, huh?”
I nodded, keeping my eyes closed, my hand tucked under my cheek. A dream it was. That’s all it was.
My mind wanted to go down the path of memory, wondering if things happened and I couldn’t remember them, but my heart belongs to David. There’s no way I’d betray him that way. The very idea made me insanely mad, so mad that, when the sunlight touched David’s hair, lighting his ear, his cheek, then his sleeping smile, I was still awake, afraid to let myself drift away again.
