by A. M. Hudson
“Ara? Calm down.” David rose to his knees, his hand extended.
“He lied to me.” My teeth bit together. “My birth story. Telling me endlessly how much I look like my mother—lies.” I slammed my fist down. “All lies.”
“Ara, you’re scaring me. Please, just—”
A shot of adrenaline burst out through my shoulder as David touched me; he flew back, cracking the black rock with his spine, and I watched for a breathless second as he fell to the floor. “David?” The electricity receded, and my hands turned ice-cold—going stiff.
My vampire, unconscious on the picnic rug, lay motionless, pale.
“David.” I shook him. “David?”
“Now there’s something I haven’t felt for a while.” He rolled his face to one side, rubbing his head.
“What? What happened?” My hand hovered over him—afraid to touch.
“I think—I think my heart might have started beating for a second.” He sat up, clutching his chest.
“Are you serious?”
He nodded, staring at the ground.
“David, I’m so sorry. I don’t know what happened. I—”
“No, don’t be sorry. You are amazing.” He smiled and touched my shoulder, cautiously. “I’ve never seen a vampire with that kind of power before, Ara. That was phenomenal.”
“Really? And you’re not hurt?”
“Uh—” He rubbed the place where his heart would be. “I am, but I’ll be okay.”
I fell onto his chest, my face against his pain, my arms around his back. “I can’t believe it, David. My dad lied to me. All these years.”
“I’m sure—” David lifted my face. “I’m sure he had good reason to, sweetheart.”
“I have to know.” I jumped up. “I have to ask him.”
“Ara, wait.” David stood up slowly, as if he were human, and chased after me. “Ara. Don’t do this now.”
“I have to know,” I stated, walking faster.
“Ara?” He grabbed my hand. “He’s kept this from you for a reason.”
I stared into his eyes, trying to see his point.
“You can’t just go charging in there, demanding the truth, when you’re supposed to be in Paris—on your honeymoon.”
“Yes, I can. He’s my dad. I know he’s my dad, David. It can’t be true.”
“My love, we don’t know anything yet. These are all just theories. Just—” he embraced me; I went reluctantly. “We’ll figure this out together, but you’ve just got to let it go for now.”
“Why? Why are you so quick to keep me from this, David?”
He moistened his lips and looked away. “This is big, Ara. You need to be focusing on the Blood Warriors, right now. They’re coming to kill us, remember? And your dad may not even be aware he’s not your biological father. We just don’t know enough to go in there demanding facts.”
“You’re right.” I nodded. “I’ll wait.” Wait until you’re not with me, that is—then I’ll talk to Dad.
“Thank you, Ara. Thank you for trusting me.”
“Well, you always know what’s best for me.” I smiled. Doesn’t mean I have to listen.
“I promise you—” he looked into my eyes, “—I will not rest until I uncover the truth.”
Me either. I hugged him just a little tighter.
David flicked out the bathroom light and disappeared under fingers of darkness. “What you thinkin’?” he asked casually, suddenly leaning on his elbow beside my head.
“Nothin’.”
He pressed his lips together, but his eyes smiled. “I wish I could read your mind—it made things so much easier.”
“For one of us, maybe. I prefer it this way.”
“I thought you liked it when I could read your mind.”
“That was before I discovered how good life is without you invading my headspace all the time.”
He rolled over and laid on his back, linking his fingers behind his head. “That’s because it means you can keep things from me, now.”
“Hang on.” I rolled up on my elbow. “What would I possibly be keeping from you?”
“I don’t know.” He shrugged. “All I do know is that you’re quiet—a lot, and you flinch if I come up suddenly, and—” He paused.
“And?”
“And we’ve had six arguments in the last forty-one-hours.” He looked at me.
“So, you’re saying I’m being hostile?”
“No, sweetheart, just that you’re…” he bit his lip.
“That I’m what? Maybe a little edgy still, since I was tortured to death, literally, then resurrected and rescued, only to kill my husband, burn him alive, then watch him struggle to recover. God!” I huffed and laid on my back, slamming onto the bed. “You’re so insensitive.”
“I’m not insensitive, Ara. You’re just antagonistic, lately. I can’t say anything without it turning into an argument.” He leaned up on his elbows. “What’s going on with you? Is there something you wanna talk about?”
Maybe—but I don’t want to talk about it. I let out a long, chest-sinking breath, and in my head, jumped up off the bed, towered over him with waving arms and screamed at him for everything nasty he did to his brother. All the torment, all the pain—it caused all of this. If Jason had never tortured me at the masquerade, none of this would’ve happened. And I’m so mad at you, my brain continued, pacing. You never told me any of that, never let me into your past. In fact, worse, you went a step further than just not telling me, and actually did everything you could think of to keep me from any truths about yourself. I love you, I wanted to say. I know you’re good, but I can’t help but feel like, maybe, I don’t really know you at all, and that makes me angry—at nearly everything you say. I just feel like it’s all crap!
“Penny for your thoughts,” he said, suddenly right in front of my face, smiling down at me.
I smiled back. He makes it so hard to be mad at him. “I was thinking about Jason.”
“Jason?” David drew back a little and sat up.
“Yeah.” I sat up too. “When you were kids, did you ever play in the wide f—”
“Ara. I can’t talk about this.”
“Why?”
“My brother is dead, okay.” His whole body went rigid; he stared at me, eyes hollow, polluted with a kind of…anger. “I don’t want to talk about my childhood, of all things.”
“But—”
“No buts.” He rolled away and pulled the blanket over his shoulders. “That’s the end of this discussion.”
My mouth fell open a little as a tingling layer of hurt surrounded me. Well, fine. Guess that’s it for tonight then—for our last night together for who knows how long.
I shuffled down under the blanket and rolled the other way, shifting as far away from David as my queen-size bed would allow.
Summer kissed her skin, glowing off her yellow dress, and she laid on her belly in the long grass under the tree, picking petals off a daisy. “He loves me—” she sent one floating on the breeze. “He loves me not.”
Overly hesitant this time, I looked on, prepared for more truths about this self of mine I didn’t remember.
She swung her legs gently back and forth, her dress rising slightly in the wind, revealing her white underwear. I wanted to reach out and pull it down, but knew my hands would fall straight through her.
“He loves me.” She picked another petal and threw it away, rolling onto her back, her wavy hair splaying out, brown against green. “He loves me not.”
“He loves you.” Jason clasped a hand over the daisy, dropping to the ground beside her.
“Where did you come from?” The girl sat up, ditching the flower.
“Well, when a mummy and daddy vampire love each other very much—”
“Ha-ha.” She slapped his shoulder with the back of her hand. “Very funny, Jason. You just sprung up out of nowhere. I didn’t know you were here today.”
He motioned to the gentle breeze making the leaves d
ance above them; “It’s sunny, isn’t it? Aren’t I always here when it’s sunny?”
“No, it’s always sunny when you’re here—there’s a difference.”
Jason smiled softly and brushed the backs of his fingers over the side of her face, sweeping her hair back as he did. “You have grass in your hair.”
The girl smiled and reached down beside her, ripping up a handful of the green field, then sprinkled it onto Jason’s head. “So do you.”
Jason’s Cheshire cat grin warmed even my heart from where I stood, watching, looking on like some outsider who’d never lived this moment.
“That’s it.” He lunged toward her, landing between her legs as the long grass curved up around them. “Now you will pay the price for my new turfpee.”
“Turfpay?”
“Yeah, like toupee, but made of turf.”
She cackled like a small child. “And, what might that price be, kind sir, for your new trufpee?”
“A kiss.”
“Just a kiss?”
“At first. Then—” he leaned closer, “—you can promise me one more, every day, for the rest of your life.”
She smiled and closed her eyes. “One, for now. And if you make it sweet, I’ll give you something more.”
I fell suddenly under the weight of Jason’s body, taking form as his lips touched hers, becoming mine, and the feel of him, so real, so solid, set my heart jumping. I sat bolt upright, sweat beading on my brow, cooling under the wintry chill of the absent day in my bedroom.
David didn’t even stir. I watched him, waiting, but he stayed heavily under the restful dreams that seemed to belong to everyone in this house but me.
I threw the covers back and jumped out of bed, desperate for some fresh air.
Stars greeted me with glimmering smiles, and night air kissed my cheeks with frosty lips. The intensity of my dream or mind-link or memory came with me though, despite the quiet and the calm out by the lake.
I folded my arms and fought back tears.
At my feet, the moonlight offered me a reflection, wavering like steam in the almost still lake. And the girl I looked upon, who I’d seen so many times in my life, was no longer a stranger. She had done unspeakable things with another man, lived another life in dreams I couldn’t remember, but the truth, deep inside, is that we were the same. What she has done, so have I, and I can no longer deny that her reflection is mine.
The grief took over then and I folded in on myself, dropping to my knees in front of the lake. The girl reached out as I rested my hand to the cool water, letting my fingers sink through her face. And she cried too, because she knew what I felt, knew what I’d suffered. I wanted to see him behind her—to see Jason, to look upon him once more. To tell him what I couldn’t tell my husband; that I am antagonistic lately, because, inside, I’m grieving—crying out for someone I shouldn’t be missing; regretful for the way he died, for what he lost, suffered in the moments that lead to his death.
And all Jason wanted was for me to take his life—free myself from the burden of the bind—the very thing that, I had to believe, was making me feel love for him, sitting here, alone, by the lake, in the middle of the night.
“Ara?” The warmth of a jacket draped over my shoulders, and David rubbed his hands up my arms a few times. “What are you doing out here—you’ll catch a cold.”
“I won’t catch a cold.” I stood up and shook the water off my hands. “I don’t get sick.”
“Actually, Lilithians can get sick. I’d rather not test the boundaries.” He stood so far behind me, as if he was afraid or maybe just too angry to touch me. “Why are you crying?”
“I—” I couldn’t tell him about the dream, but I wanted to so badly. I wanted to tell him my grief. But, when Jason died, something broke in David’s heart. He’d never had to live with mortality before; he’d always had Jason there to fight with, or ignore to make a point. I actually believed David grieved Jason’s loss, silently—like I did. But out in the open, the truth would make us both sick, to know that the other felt anything for him after what he did to us. So I took a deep breath and said, “I’m just scared about tomorrow—about meeting the Lilithians.”
“I know.” He nodded softly.
“Can’t you just come with me—hide, maybe live in the bedroom or something?”
David laughed out a short breath. “I wish I could, but I have work to do here, Ara. Being dead—or supposedly dead—gives me an advantage other vampires don’t have. No one will be looking for me. I can track Drake without being noticed. And besides, someone has to do a better job of researching your genealogy than Morgaine has.”
I nodded, wandering over to fall into his waiting arms. “I’m sorry we’re fighting.”
“We’re just stressed, Ara-Rose.”
“Even then, we should be supporting each other when we find it hard, not arguing.”
“I know. And it gives true definition to our vows, don’t you think? That even being immortal does not free us of the struggle to keep our promises; to love and honour, for better or worse. But, I am in love with you. And despite my failures as a husband in the last day and a half, I know that when all’s said and done, I care how you feel, and fighting or none, my life is nothing without you.”
I nodded against his shirt. “One day we’ll know what it feels like just to be in love, without laws and prophecies coming between us.”
“No, my love.” He sighed, tangling his fingers in my hair. “I don’t think we will.”
The sombre tune illustrated the pain in my heart; the sorrow of a soon to be absent lover; the sting of goodbye. Closing my eyes, I let myself feel the rise and fall of my breath, and the warm, flowing sensation of the energy in my fingertips—the energy that radiated out as I played, electrifying the white keys, making them glow.
“Sad?” said a smooth voice.
“Is it that obvious?” I rolled my head back, keeping my eyes closed as David kissed my brow.
“Your light is blue; it’s usually a hundred different colours.”
“Really? I never noticed.” I chose to keep my eyes closed these days, finding it hard to deal with this supernatural string of electricity flickering around my fingertips when I played. With my eyes closed, I could still just be human here.
“It bothers you.” David sat beside me.
“Yes.”
“If it’s any consolation, Ara, it’s very beautiful. Like watching birds dance on a summer’s breeze.”
I smiled, allowing my mind away from the shadow of immanent pain. Just now, in this moment, I am home. There is love around me, family, safety. Later, when I arrive at Loslilian manor, I’ll be someone else—no longer just a girl.
And that’s the funny part about it all really. I am just a girl, but to the Lilithians, I’m already a princess—powerful and strong. They know nothing of me—of my story, of my life. They never will.
As the last high note rang out into the echo of my mind, David closed the cover on the keys and rested his hand over it, smiling.
“What you smilin’ at?” I looked up.
“We have a while until Mike and Emily get back from the shop.”
“And?”
“And from what I hear, there’s supposed to a child somewhere in our future.”
My eyes narrowed, but my lips smiled. “You…you want to do that, now?”
Dust motes danced in the white sun filtering through the window over the piano, and David’s fingers swept the air slowly, coming to rest along my cheeks as he planted the softest, sweetest kiss on my lips. “Yes, now.”
My eyes opened from their involuntary close, and I marvelled at the electric blue David’s became with my lustful energy; the energy that filled my veins, charging my touch with a shock that could be, at the same time as dangerous, also very intimate.
“I love that feeling,” he said, closing his eyes, savouring it as if he’d tasted a sweet treat for the first time.
“And I love this feeling.” I placed m
y hand over his.
David’s whole demeanour changed then; he lifted me suddenly, placing me on top of the piano.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
“Showing you what it’s like to make love on a piano top.”
With a hot, shaky breath, I let my legs fall softly open as David traced the inner curve of my thigh, all the way up—resting his fingertips against my underwear.
“Lay back,” he said with a half-smile, and slid his other hand under my skirt.
Carefully, I rolled backward, feeling each vertebra in my spine as it touched the hard, glossy surface of the piano and the cold under me as he removed my lacy delicates. “Do you really want our child to be conceived on such an uncomfortable surface?”
“Ara, my love, to have a child with you would be like filling my soul with light. I don’t care where or how we conceive her, it will be a miracle just to create life with you.”
Aw. “I love you, David.”
“I love you, too, Ara, my beautiful—” he kissed my nose, “—delicate, rose.”
“Forever?” I whispered.
He smiled as he kissed my lips but didn’t answer.
And like a carefully choreographed dance, David pressed himself between my legs, cradling my hips the way only his hands knew how. I closed my eyes, breathing the warmth of the man I love, revelling in the perfection of his vampire touch.
So many things had been lost in our lives and yet, after all the heartache, after all the chaos, so many new, great things had been discovered. We found that, no matter what, our love is strong enough to overcome torture, death, separation, and anything else fate can think of to throw at us. And that for all the times the world tried to tear us apart, we’d always find a way to come back to each other—to find the warm embrace of eternal love, and never, ever let it go.
At last, I am immortal.
At last, I am in David’s arms.
And at last, we have forever; his forever, and my forever.
