by Shan
The men in this place were obviously the money makers around town. There was enough bling in here to shut Jared's down. I saw Tamar talking to a couple of girls and felt a tinge of jealousy come over me. I fought to pretend like I didn't care, but Brian was all over it.
"Why the hell you just standing here? Go over there and talk to your man," he said. For him to only have known me for six months, he seemed to know more about me than I knew about myself. That's why he was my best friend. We'd clicked instantly when we met, and I just loved him.
"I told you that he ain't my man."
I stated that cautiously 'cause I wanted him to be my man, but I knew I didn't have what it took. I wasn't sexual enough for him. I lacked knowledge of the sexual world—as he would say. He would tell me all the time how he talked to older girls because they had knowledge in the bedroom. He would say that he needed a girl that knew how to ride a dick or in his words, "how to make it cum."
I had no idea about a man's penis or how to make it reach its peak. I've only seen a few penises in my lifetime and most of them came from the watching bootleg ass porn.
Tae loved oral sex too. He said he needed somebody that can suck his manhood like the girl Super-Head talks about in her books. I had never wrapped my lips around a man's penis before either so I came short in that department, as well.
Because of all that, I knew there was no chance that I could ever be with him. Anyway I was too much of a home girl to him. He talked to me about everything, and I told him everything. We had a good friendship and getting into a relationship would only screw things up even though I wanted it so badly.
"The way y'all been spending every night together and him throwing you stacks of money; that's your damn man. What's your secret? How can I get a man to give me a thousand dollars and not give him no booty? Me and some of these hoes in here can stand the lesson," Brian said and walked away to get something to drink.
"You wasn't gonna come speak?" Tamar asked, and I hurried and turned to around to look at him. I watched as he approvingly looked me over. "Damn, that's the same outfit you bought earlier today?" He'd snuck up behind me while I had been staring at the glistening pool.
"Yea, this the same outfit," I said as I looked down at my chest practically bulging. I had left the zipper open and had on a red bra-top. I cut the sides some to reveal a part of my thighs. I was showing some skin, but not too much where there was nothing left to imagine.
"Damn, I was kind of skeptical about it, but you look good. Damn good," Tamar said as his eyes roamed my body once more from head to toe.
I got kind of shy. He never looked at me with such lust in his eyes before. I couldn't do anything but look towards the ground as he practically fucked me with his eyes. He made me so nervous that I began to sweat.
Damn I wanted him to be mine. No one has ever made my body feel this tingly all over before. I was thinking if this were what love felt like. Could I have really loved before? None of the other guys has made my knees buckle, my heart skip a beat, and my brows sweat. Tamar suddenly placed his hands on my waist and then kissed my ear.
"You gonna spend the night with me tonight?" he whispered in my ear and rubbed his hands across my butt.
I couldn't believe how out in the open he was being. I didn't really know how many people were watching, but it actually felt like everything stopped and we were the only ones standing in the room
"If you want me to I will," I replied.
It wasn't the first time I'd spent the night with him, but it was the first time he'd ever asked. We usually would just fall asleep after watching TV, or talking. I felt like tonight was more meaningful than any other time I'd spent with him. I was getting to meet the family and to spend the night with him on his birthday. I felt so lucky!
Tamar took me by the hand and led me to a section that was closed off to the rest of the party. It was the VIP section. Some of the guys I had seen before. I knew off top that these dudes were the top money makers in the hood. Everybody had on Gucci, Louis Vuitton, Prada, Kenneth Cole, and all the other top brands. Even the females looked like ballers or that they were with a baller.
"Come here stop acting shy," Tamar pulled me to the guy I remembered as being his brother. "Von, this Roz. Roz, this my brother Von, and this is B, Key, Rod, Ace, and Juan." He pointed each one of them out as he called them by their names.
"What's Up Rozzy Roz?" Brandon said.
I knew Brandon from around the way. Him and my brother Zavier hung out a lot. He was definitely a baller. I would see him cruising the streets in his presidential style white Lincoln Town car with the white twenty-four inch rims. He was always yelling out the window at some chick with his childish self.
"Hey Brandon, how are you?" I asked with half a grin.
"Not as good as you. Your brother knows you here?"
I guess he asked 'cause he figured I cared if my brother knew or not. My brother didn't tell me what to do and bet not ever try.
I shrugged my shoulders to let him know that I didn't care one way or the other. Hell if he saw me, I would be sure to keep walking as if I didn't see him or know him.
"What you doing with her, Tae? Ain't she with Dre?" Brandon asked Tamar that question to be messy.
He already knew me and Andre broke up a long time ago 'cause he came over to my house a few weeks ago and asked me about what happened with us. He was really pissing me off 'cause I didn't need anybody knowing that I had jumped from cousin to cousin.
"It don't matter if she was with Andre. She with me now." Tamar sat on the couch that was black and made of suede or some type of velvet material. He pulled me on his lap and gave me a quick peck on the cheek.
"Tosser, huh? I ain't take you for that type of chick, Rozalyn?" Brandon passed a blunt to Tamar and then grabbed his drink.
"I'm about to go back over there with Brian."
I made sure I gave Brandon much attitude as I rolled my eyes at him. He had no right to talk to me that way. I didn't know what type of girl he thought I was nor did I care. I know for a fact that I wasn't no damn tosser. I hadn't had sex with Tamar or Andre, and I wasn't about to. Brandon can shut the hell up talking to me 'cause he ain't know nothing about me.
"Man that nigga was just messing around. Stay here and chill for a minute." Tamar said with his hand on my legs trying to hold me down.
"Let that bitch go," Tavon said that in the most disrespectful tone.He didn't even know me either. Who did they think they were?
I wanted to curse back at him, but I didn't want to burn any bridges with Tamar 'cause I gave his family a piece of my mind. This meeting with the family wasn't nothing like I had expected it to be. I really don't know what my expectations were, but I didn't think it would end up like this.
I pulled Tamar hands off of me, got up from his lap, and walked away. I wanted to cry, but there were too many people around and I felt like if I dropped one tear from my eye that everyone would stop, stare, point, and laugh like always.
I caught up with Brian and struggled to enjoy myself the remainder of the night. I tried to not think about Tamar, but it was hard 'cause the night was about him. Every time I turned around someone would mention his name.
When it came time to cut the cake and sing happy birthday; I disappeared into a corner and I watched two strippers gave him a lap dance during the birthday song. Brian was having too much fun, and he wasn't ready to leave, so I was stuck here until it was time to go.
Seeing all these chicks dancing all on Tamar; gyrating their behinds up and down on him disgusted me and I kind of resented them girls. I wanted to be the one that was out there dancing with him with everybody looking at us and cheering us on.
He pissed me off 'cause I know that he knew I was somewhere watching him. I was so mad 'cause he had the freedom to do whatever he wanted. I couldn't tell him what to do 'cause he wasn't mine. As much as I wanted to go over there and throw one of those rats in the pool I couldn't. In the end, I would be the one embarrassed.
&nbs
p; I grabbed a drink that was sitting on a table next to me praying to God that nobody had put anything in it. I really needed something to clear my head, and this was the first thing I could get my hands on. I could tell by the smell of it that it was some vodka. I knew that because it was my mama's favorite drink. I took two gulps of the clear drink, and it was gone.
I looked around for another drink, and when I didn't see one, I made my way to the bar to try my luck with the bartender. I didn't know if he would be checking for ID, so I prayed I had my ‘over twenty-one look’ on my face and that he fixed me whatever I asked for.
I needed something strong, something that would help me to relax and take my mind off of Tamar. This was a big, huge, major, party, and I should be relaxing, letting loose and having fun. It wasn't often that I got invited to parties like this, so I wanted to make the best of it while I could.
Without checking my ID, the bartender handed me a crown with coke. That was the type of drink my step-daddy would drink all the time. I hurried away from the counter with my drink in hand before the bartender changed his mind about not wanting to see my ID.
I went back to my corner and sipped on my crown and coke. I couldn't help but think about my mama and how she'd just abandoned me. For a nigga at that. She should be feeling pretty selfish, and I kind of hoped that she was suffering the same kind of pain I was right now.
I swear if I could see her I would curse her out and let her know how pitiful she was for making my life so hard. She promised me a better life than hers and here I was walking in her very own footsteps, living the life she lived before she came across my step-daddy.
Poor, hungry all the time, wearing the same clothes week after week, sleeping with roaches and rats. I hated to complain but I just imagined my life to be so much better than what it was.
After a while, I started to feel real good. It was like my mind had left my body, and I had nothing more to worry about. I found my way to the dance floor and rubbed against the first guy I saw. I bent over and touched my knees as I rubbed every part of my tail on his firm and hard penis.
He grabbed my hips and held me close and tight as if I was going somewhere. I felt one of his hands grab my left breast and rub my nipple, and instantly felt a warm sensation down below. It made me gyrate more against his manhood.
He was harder than before, and I laughed inwardly knowing that I was just teasing him. I'm quite sure he thought he was about to take me to one of these expensive suites upstairs, but that wasn't happening. Not with me anyway.
His grip became loose all of a sudden; his pole went limp, and he backed away from me. I looked up and saw Tamar standing before us. The casual guy apologized to Tamar explaining to him that he didn't know that Tamar and I were an item; hell neither did I.
Not the way he was ignoring me the whole night and dancing with any chick that came his way. I struggled to walk way, but Tamar grabbed me by my arm and gripped it as if he wanted to tear it off.
"Let me go!" I yelled trying to be heard over T.I.'s You Can Have Whatever You Like.
"What the fuck you think you doing? You look like a fucking slut right now!" Tamar yelled.
"Oh, those hoes all over you don't?" I had to remind him that the skeezers all over him didn't look any better.
"That's what they are. Have you been drinking?" Tamar got close enough to smell the liquor permeating from my breath and jerked back with disgust riddled on his face.
"Get your ass out of here man!" Tamar yanked me off the dance floor and out into the hotel lobby.
"Rozalyn!" Brian called for me, and he chased after us as we headed for the elevators. "Rozalyn!"
"She alright!" Tamar pulled me on the elevator and hit the door close button. Soon as the elevator lifted, I vomited everywhere. I guess the motion and the sudden lift caused my stomach to turn 'cause I was no longer able to hold all that liquor down. I only had two drinks and wasn't expecting to get sick like this.
"Look at you ma. You doing this for what? 'Cause of what B said to you?"
I started crying when he said that. I don't know why I picked up that drink and hustled my way out of another one. Maybe I was mad 'cause Brandon called me a tosser and Tavon called me a bitch, or I could have been mad at my mama 'cause she wasn't here to tell me right or wrong in the decisions I was making.
Maybe I could have been mad that Tamar didn't come after me when I walked away. I didn't really know why I was mad, but I thought the feeling of drunkenness would make me feel better and not worse.
Tamar walked me to his suite located at the end of the hall. I noted how big and beautiful it was before crashing on the plush king sized bed. I felt my shoes come off and heard them hit the floor. Tamar had removed them for me and asked me if I needed anything.
I looked at him aiming to shake my head no, but it felt like it twirled in circles. All I could do was blurted out, "No." I watched as Tamar left the room, and I felt myself drift into darkness.
4: TAMAR
I left Rozalyn in my suite and headed back down to my party. I probably shouldn't have acted like that when I saw her dancing with that dude, but I couldn't help it. Even though we wasn't in a committed relationship, I didn't like seeing anyone touch her; especially in that way.
The picture of him with his hand on her breast stayed in my mind and for the life of me I couldn't figure out what had me thinking about that girl so much. We weren’t even having sex and day in and day out she was always on my mind.
I always wondered if she was okay if I wasn't with her; I wondered if she was eating or if she needed anything. I couldn't believe I had given her a thousand dollars, but it just felt natural to me. I wasn't hurting behind it or anything like that, but it was the simple fact that she had me tricking off my money just for her conversation.
Tonight was the night. She had to give it up tonight, or I was through with this. I never quit or gave up at anything in life, but I was willing to quit at this. I refused to go another day feeling like I couldn't go on with my day without seeing her.
While partying, I smoked blunt after blunt and had a cup of everything that came my way. I stayed in one spot while chick after chick came to me begging me to take them up to my room. A couple of them even offered to give me head right where I was, but I denied them all. I was satisfied with the fact that Rozalyn would give in to me tonight. She had to.
We had been chilling almost every day for the past couple of months, and I had given her more time than I had ever given to any female and that had to count for something.
I stood to my feet and damn near fell straight on my face when my boy Keylan caught me. It took him, and Brandon to carry me to the elevators and up to my room. When I gotten inside, I looked around and didn't see Rozalyn, but her shoes were still on the floor so I knew she couldn't be too far.
The toilet flushed in the background, and moments later Rozalyn emerged from the restroom with her hand over her stomach. Her clothes were half done, and hair was all over her head, but she still looked good enough to eat.
"You okay?" she asked. She lied next to me in bed and placed her head upon my chest.
"Yea, I'm just rolling. Rolling hard," I said struggling to pull my shirt over my head. She sat up to help me, and then she removed my shoes and socks and threw them on the floor along with hers.
Being full off of X, weed, and liquor had my head spinning like a merry-go-round. I pulled her on top of me with the little strength I had left, and she began to apologize for the way she acted earlier tonight. I kissed her lips to get her to stop talking. I didn't want her to say anything. I just wanted to feel her up, and caress her body. I wanted her to feel good tonight.
Her body was soft, and I rubbed my hands over her butt, and gripped it as tight as I could between my hands. The ecstasy had me horny as ever, and I hoped she wasn't going to stop me from going as far as I wanted to go.
I wasn't sure if I should tell her that if she didn't give it up that I was through with her. I didn't want to seem like I
was forcing her into it, but she had to know where I stood on this.
"Rozalyn, it gotta happen tonight. Ain't no more waiting. I can't wait no more."
My words slurred as I spoke my ultimatum and I hope she could understand what I was saying 'cause I could barely understand my damn self.
"I'm scared Tae. I don't wanna make a mistake and besides we not even together," she said as she climbed off of me basically telling me that she wasn't for it unless we were in a relationship. As hard as my dick was if I didn't climb in something soon I'm sure I would explode.
"I consider you my girl. Why you think I got so mad earlier when I saw you dancing with that dude?"
That was a lie. I hated to lie to her just to get in her pants, but that was the way she was making it. I didn't consider her as my girlfriend; just a home girl that I would like to smash every once in a while, but I just told her what I knew she wanted to hear.
I mustered my way on top of her and tried not to apply too much pressure on her little body. I pulled her short set off and kissed on her erecting nipples. Her body was trembling, so I took it real slow. As strong as I wanted to go in, I knew I couldn't. I had to be gentle with her, careful not to give her too much at a time.
I removed her short-set completely and pulled off her silk black thong. She had a perfect body. Her smooth caramel skin didn't have one stretch mark in sight. She had a small Chinese symbol tatted on her upper left thigh, and I made a note in the back of my head to ask her what it meant later.
Gently rubbing on her clit, I asked her was she ready. Soft moans escaped her mouth as I penetrated her opening with my finger. I wiggled them to open her up as much as possible, so that it would be much easier for me to make my entry when it was time.
She was moist and dripping wet after a few minutes, and I couldn't wait to feel the inside of her against my firm, hard, and erect manhood. Everything about this already felt good. She was pure and untouched, and that just made my penis pulsate from the thought of the sensation I was about to endure.
