by Shan
"I shouldn’t have said anything. I promised Kevin I wouldn’t."
"No, fuck that! If you know something about me then let it be known. Don’t do me like that! What did you mean when you said that shit about my mama?"
I looked at my daddy standing in the hallway. His eyes were begging me not to say anything, and I almost turned around to walk away, but couldn’t. I just couldn’t hold it in no more. "Fuck it, Vanessa not your real mama. You and I have the same mama."
There I said it and although I knew my daddy was hoping it never came out; he actually looked relieved that I was the one to say it and not him. Zavier put his hands over his head and fell back against the wall.
"After Vanessa had Kevin she bled so much they had to do a hysterectomy. You know take out her uterus and shit. She couldn’t have any more kids after that, and she didn’t tell Korey. She told the doctors not to tell him, and that she would tell him on her own time, but she never did.
Korey was ready to have more kids, and after it took so long for her to get pregnant he became suspicious and that’s when she finally told him the truth. From what I was told, he got mad and started cheating on her with our mama and our mama got pregnant with you. She didn’t want another baby because she’d just had my sister Nesha, but he begged her to keep it.
He told her that he would take care of you and that she didn’t have to worry about anything. You were a product of your father’s infidelity just like me. Only difference was that muthafucka' wanted you, but when he found out she was pregnant again; he said fuck me!"
"That’s not true Rozalyn! That is not true! I don’t know what twisted lie your mom told you, but that is not true!" Korey yelled.
"Yes it is! You buried me like a piece of trash and never thought twice about me! You didn’t want Vanessa to know that you never stopped having an affair with my mama!"
"Rozalyn, Shantell told me that she was pregnant by another man, and she moved to New York. I didn’t know about you until I got child support papers in the mail! When I called her to find out what was going on and to see you she told me the only way I could see you was if I brought Zavier back. I couldn’t do that to Vanessa. I couldn’t take him away from her. Zavier was already a year and a half by then."
"So you just ignored me! You just said forget me then? Kept me a secret and hoped no one ever found out!"
"That wasn’t my intentions. I hoped that maybe one day she would come around, but she never did, and I never said anything until Kevin confronted me about it. I hadn't realized how much time had passed until it was too late."
POW! POW!
"Oh, shit!" I dropped my bags and took off running towards the adjacent stairwell and to my surprise Zavier was right on my tail.
"Go Roz, go!" Zavier grabbed my hand and pulled me down the stairs and then across the courtyard.
POW!
"Aaggh!" I screamed when I felt a bullet graze past my ear.
"Come on Roz! Come on!" We made it halfway out of the projects when the sound of tires screeching was right on our behinds. "Shit, come on!"
POW! POW!
"Owwww!" I yelled when I felt a bullet tear through the back of my leg. It caused me to fall to the ground, and I lost the grip that I had on Zavier's hand.
"Roz come on!" he yelled out to me.
POW! POW! Tat-tat-at-tat-tat!
Zavier crawled towards me and scooped me up from the ground and then he headed back into the projects through a nearby unit.
"Just leave me Zae, just leave me!" I cried.
"Hell no! I got you! I’m not leaving you— ever!"
Zavier ran from unit to unit until we made our way to his girlfriend Jazlene’s apartment. He sat me on the ground and banged on the door. "Jaz, open up! Hurry up!" The door swung open, Zavier scooped me back up from the ground and ran inside! "Close the door and lock it!"
Jazlene did as instructed, "Oh, my God! Baby, what happened?" she inquired.
Zavier carried me to the couch and sat me down, "Get me some towels! Go get me a towel!"
Jazlene ran to the back and came back seconds later with a handful of towels and bandages.
"What happened? Zavier, tell me what happened?" she cried.
Zavier ran to the window and peeked out of the blinds, "I think we’ll be alright for a minute," he said as he walked over to me and wrapped my leg with a towel.
"Owwww! Ohhh it hurts!" I winced in pain.
"Jaz, go get her some Tylenol or something and then hold this towel on her. Roz, where is your phone?"
I reached in my pocket and pulled out my cell phone and handed it to Zavier. When I looked at him, I noticed a tiny hole in his shirt that was covered in blood that I knew didn’t belong to me.
"Zavier, you’ve been hit too?" I asked him.
He looked down at his shirt, and then went through my phone.
"Who are you calling?" I probed.
"I'm calling B. This shit gotta stop!" he yelled and put the phone to his ear. "Hello…. yo B, what the hell is going on man? These cats done shot my sister, bruh!"
Zavier placed his hand on his chest and turned away from me. Seconds later, Jazlene walked back into the living room with a cup of water and two pills. She handed them to me, and I took the pills and did my best not to focus on the burning feeling in my leg.
"You gotta do something; I gotta get her to the hospital man! She’s in pain!" Zavier said through gritted teeth. "Alright, just please hurry up. We’ll be here."
Zavier hit the end button and walked over to me and handed me my cellphone.
"What…..did he say?" I asked. "Mmmmh!"
"He says it ain’t anything he can do about Tavon. He said he told Tavon to wait for Tamar and see what he says about this, but Tavon isn't listening. Tavon is dead set on you, and he knows for sure that you set Tae up!"
"No I did not—I promise you—"
"Rozalyn, you don’t have to convince me. I know you didn’t. He said that he gonna tell Tavon that he heard you made it out and went to Brian’s house."
"No! No! They gone go over there and kill him!" I protested.
"What the fuck you want me to do Roz? That’s the only way I can get you out of here—"Zavier gasped and grabbed his chest.
"Zavier!" Jazlene ran to him and helped him to the couch, "Baby, you okay?"
Zavier shook his head yes and looked over at me. "Hey, baby girl. I don’t want you to go to sleep alright? Brandon said he’ll be here the minute these dudes roll up out of here." Zavier said with a sense of fear in his voice.
"It just hurts so bad, so bad," I moaned.
Jazlene attempted to remove Zavier’s shirt, but he pushed her away. "I’m alright, it’s just a flesh wound," he told her.
"Zavier you’re bleeding badly," Jazlene said.
"I’m good. I’m worried about my sister right now. I’m a be alright. B said that Tamar made it through his first two surgeries. The doctor’s think he might make it."
I smiled. I love him. Even with me being shot, and my brother being shot, I love Tamar. The fact that he has a girlfriend, used me, and dissed me when he found out I was pregnant, didn’t matter, ‘cause I still love him.
"Yo'. You know this shit is real crazy. I feel like all this is happening for a reason. If you wouldn’t have been going through this, I might not have ever known the truth. I can’t believe Kevin didn’t tell me this shit and why would my mama them hide something like this from me? Do you think what he said about your mama was true? Do you think that she really wanted him to give me back in order to see you?" Zavier looked at me in confusion.
"I don’t know; I didn’t find out until I got here when Kevin wrote me telling me about it. I tried to call my mama, but she won’t take any of my calls. I knew I had brothers, but she never told me that you were hers too. She always told me that my daddy never gave a shit about me. Said that he was living with his new wife and his sons and that he didn’t have room for a daughter," I said as tears fell from my eyes. All I could think about was
how nobody wanted me. "She told me that my dad left her and got married. I didn’t know that he and Vanessa have been together since forever until I got here. I'm so confused."
BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!
I jumped at the sound of someone knocking on the door. Zavier leaped from the couch and walked to the door where he peeked out the peephole. He cracked the door open and stuck his head out to look around before he allowed Brandon to come in.
"You need to fucking do something! This shit is getting out of hand. They could have killed her!"
"I told you I can’t control Tavon. What were you thinking about coming back over here, Rozalyn? And why you not taking my calls?" Brandon asked.
"I thought—thought you were calling to— find out where I was like everybody else. Oh Lord, I need some more medicine," I whined.
"Just hold on a few more minutes. I saw a couple of them niggas when I came in. I was waiting to see what Tavon was going to do."
"They—they not about to go—go to Brian house are they?"
"I had to tell them somewhere believable Rozalyn. I hope they don’t do shit to him or his people though."
"I hope not either," I moaned again. Brandon walked over to me and knelt down in front of me. He lifted my leg to check out my wound.
"Aaggh! Owwww!" I yelled out in agonistic pain.
"Damn, my bad. Yo', Zavier you alright? Y'all think y'all can hold on another twenty minutes or so?" Brandon asked.
"Shit, we ain’t got no choice," Zavier said. By now he had his head in Jazlene’s lap with eyes closed. She was crying and trembling. "How long this shit gonna go on, B?"
"I guess until Tamar comes to."
"And if he don’t? Y'all just gonna let them come for my sister until they kill her?"
"That nigga gonna come through—he gonna come through. Ain’t no question about it." Brandon got up and walked over to the door, and cracked it open. "They gone yet?"
"Eric said they just seen them jump in the car, but they haven’t pulled off yet. Tavon just called me and told me to meet them at that punk's house. Shouldn’t be too much longer."
"Good, they should be rolling out in a minute then." Brandon closed the door shut. "They might be looking for you at the hospital Roz. You gonna have to go to a hospital a couple hours away or something. Then I think I’m a put you in a hotel for a couple of days. Hopefully by then, Tae would have pulled through this shit and can talk some sense into his brother."
"Tae ain’t gonna back me up. I heard he got a girlfriend. He not trying to have anything to do with me or this baby," I said.
"What baby?" Brandon asked.
"I’m pregnant with his baby," I said and moaned when I felt a tingling sensation shoot through my kneecap and down my leg.
"You pregnant and who the fuck told you he had a girlfriend?"
There was a knock at the door. Brandon opened the door and then came back and scooped me off the couch. Finally, my brother and I could get to the hospital. I was happier for Zavier than myself. No matter how much he attempted to downplay it, I could tell he was pain, and I was really worried about him.
I don’t know what made him come with me, but I was glad he did. If he hadn’t been with me I probably would be dead. He risked his life for mine. I just hoped that it wasn’t for nothing.
9: Tamar
Six weeks passed since my body was paraded and bombarded with bullets. After six shots, I was still fucking alive. I thank God. For some reason, he wasn’t ready for me to go to hell or Heaven and whatever reason that was, I was thankful.
I had too much shit I needed to accomplish. I haven’t made all the money I’ve wanted to make, or seen all the shit I wanted to see. I wanted to know what it was like to not struggle and be able to wake up in the morning without a care in the world and go to sleep without a gun under my pillow. I’m not scared of dying or anything like that, but I just wasn’t ready to die.
Soon as they pulled me from the medically induced coma I was in, I had my big bruh by my side, my aces Keylan and Brandon, my big cousins Roderick and Richard, my missing in action girl Shalea, and to my surprise my pops, Tahj.
It was nice to be able to have somebody sitting there next to me when I woke up. Damn, it would have been nice if one of those faces I saw was Rozalyn’s. Crazy huh? Real crazy since I heard from my bruh’s mouth that the bitch had something to do with me being robbed and almost killed.
I didn't believe that shit, but I couldn't help but think that no one knew where the fuck I was but her. I never told anybody where I was going that damn day. I had kept it a secret because I didn’t want anybody to know I was still messing around in the trap when I had no business being there.
I was a fucking boss now and really didn't have a reason to be touching drugs anymore, but the shit was addictive. I was used to cooking, weighing, cutting, and bagging shit my damn self only because I didn’t trust a bitch or nigga. I needed every dollar, nickel, dime and penny I could get. This game ain’t a damn joke.
What I couldn’t wrap my head around though was how the hell Rozalyn knew I had one hundred thousand dollars worth of cash on me. I knew I should have took that dough and put it up like I normally did, but I really didn’t think a nigga had the balls to fuck with me on that level, but boy was I wrong.
I held my hands in the air as the nurse that my pops hired changed my bandages. The bandages went from the middle of my chest all the way down to the bottom of my stomach. My body had been split open and left opened for numerous days to allow the doctors to perform surgeries on me without having to keep slicing me open.
As a result, I had three hundred staples that haven’t quite healed yet. I needed to be cared for and checked for any type of infection or swelling around the clock.
I still had a bullet that was lodged under my collar bone that was too risky to remove, so they left it alone. The doctors said that maybe one day in the near future I could have an elective surgery, but they didn't recommend it. Most days, I swear I could feel that bullet. I knew it was just part of my damn head though.
I flipped the stations on the TV not looking for anything in particular. I was just thinking. Thinking about somebody I knew I shouldn’t have been thinking about.
"Damn, I wonder if she really pregnant," I mumbled.
"What you say, Mr. Andrews?" the nurse asked with her thick Spanish accent.
"Who all here?" I asked. "My brother them here?"
"No, Mr. Andrews, it’s just you and I," she said with a smile.
"You can go home now. I should be alright."
"No, no, no. Your father was very persistent that I did not leave your side if no one else was around to care for you."
"I won’t tell him. I just wanna be by myself for a few minutes."
"I don’t know about that. I could lose my job and I really, really need the money, Mr. Andrews."
I got up from the bed with a little assistance from Nurse Rosita and walked over to a drawer that held socks and underwear. I pulled the drawer open and pulled out a wad of money. I peeled back a few hundred dollars and handed it to her.
"I actually might need you to drive me around. If you can do that for me; I’ll give you more later?"
"I don’t know—what if Mr. Andrews find out?"
"We can just tell him that you took me for therapy a couple of days early. Please? I really need to go see somebody."
"Okay, but—I don’t think that this is a good idea. I can get in a lot of trouble."
"I can just tell him I put a gun to your head and made you do it," I laughed.
I could tell she didn’t find it funny, especially when she saw me pull a 9 mm handgun from the drawer, and a .40 cal from the back of the TV. There were guns all over the damn place; hidden in different parts of the house. Never can be too cautious; I thought.
I had Rosita drive me about forty miles away from the hood to a neighborhood where houses were being newly built. They started putting houses up here about six months ago, so there weren’t very many pe
ople that occupied plots here just yet.
"Right here," I said warning Nurse Rosita to stop in front of a two story home that was vacant, "Damn, they through already?"
"That’s a very beautiful home, Mr. Andrews," Nurse Rosita said.
She walked around to the passenger side of the car and helped me out of the vehicle. I told her to wait in the car while I went inside. A couple of Mexicans were on the inside painting and putting down the finishes touches to the home. I walked around inspecting the entire place making sure everything was just like I wanted it to be. Fuck it. I bought a house. What the fuck could I say? You saw what happened to me. It was time to get my black ass out the hood and live like a fucking boss should.
"Mr. Andrews, I was kind of worried I wouldn’t get the rest of my money when I found out what happened to you."
I turned around to see the real estate agent, Mr. Bobby Indigo, standing in the doorway of the master bedroom as he chewed on a cigar. Dmitri put me down with him. He dealt with people like me in my situation and knew just how to sell me a house without actually selling me a house if you know what I mean.
"Damn, you ain’t have any faith in the man up above?" I turned back around to look out the window. "I damn sure do."
"Sorry, really don’t do the higher power stuff—but hey, what do you think? It’s nice huh? One of the biggest to be built in the neighborhood so far."
"Yea it’s nice and it's exactly the way I wanted it. How long before it’s finished?"
"I say about a week you can move in. Do you have the rest of the money?" he asked in a lower tone than before.
I reached down the crouch of my pants and pulled out a thick envelope and tossed it to him. "One-hundred fifty-five, right?" I asked and watched as he counted the money with his eyes.
"Yes, and did you—"
"It’s in there too."
The house cost me three-hundred thousand dollars, and I had to pay his greedy has fifteen thousand dollars for hooking me up. That muthafucka' was already getting paid off the closing cost, but I guess he figured he did me a favor by getting me up in here without raising no red flags.
