by Anna Mist
Every miserable sniff, every tear that dropped from her eyes caused the crack in my heart a little bit wider. I held her tighter, hoping it would keep me together as well. I couldn't even make my woman stop crying. I didn't feel quite so strong anymore. "Hey, it's gonna be okay," I said but even to my ears it sounded hollow.
"You know." She sniffed. "I hadn't even reached the hospital. I got to know on call. That fucking doctor so simply told me he couldn't control the pressure building in her brain because of intercranial bleeding. I didn't need the goddamn science. I just wanted an answer!"
We were entering the driveway to my house. The huge mansion loomed up in the distance, blocking the moon and all its light. Two men opened the doors on either side of the car and we both got out. Karen stumbled a little when her feet touched the ground and one of the bodyguards held her waist to steady her, but quickly stepped back when I glared at him bluntly. I put an arm around her to support her as we went inside. The fact that there were men to open the doors and take our coats at every corner certainly helped.
She stared wide eyed at the majestically decorated house. It was huge, I knew that, especially for a person who lived alone. But where was I to spend all my money if not on material comforts like that?
I seated her down on the couch as I went to get us both some scotch. "Here," I said, handing it to her, "I've heard alcohol has healing properties."
She chuckled as she took a tentative sip. "Thank you, doctor."
"When did you last eat something?" I asked.
She opened her mouth then closed it, looking up at the ceiling like I'd asked her to recall the events of the World War in succession.
"Today?" I probed.
"I don't think so." She shook her head. "No. Not today."
"Yesterday?"
"Not really. Nah. No." She actually had to think. She hadn't eaten and she had to fucking think about that.
"Do you want to die? Cuz I could make it possible with much more ease," I said sarcastically.
I gruffly asked the house staff to fix something up for Karen. What good was her roommate if she couldn't even keep her fed?
She was as stubborn as they came. I had to spoon feed her because she wrinkled her nose at every bite and pushed the plate away like a child. Then I would chide her, make her open her damn mouth and stuff it down her esophagus. When she was inebriated enough to not remember who she was and had stopped crying her throat raw, I picked her up and took her to bed. She fell asleep instantly with her head on my chest and arms wrapped around me tightly.
Morning was a little lighter than the night. It came with a certain ease that I hadn't expected. Karen's mood seemed better, or at least not that broken anymore. I blinked my eyes open drowsily and she was already awake, staring up at me through her impossibly long eyelashes.
"Good morning, baby doll," I said, my voice sounding husky because of the sleepiness still lingering on it.
Her lips stretched into a slight smile. "Good morning."
"Slept well?" I asked.
"Better than I expected I would," she replied with another bright smile, nestling her face in the crook of my arm.
I reached down to brush her hair back from her eyes and pressed a kiss to her forehead. "You can skip work. I'm sure the boss wouldn't say anything."
"You don't know the son of a bitch. He hates my guts," she said with raised eyebrows.
I gasped dramatically. "How dare he? Give me his number. I'll bash the nose off his face."
She traced an ambiguous pattern in the center of my chest. "No, don't do that. His face is too pretty to be bashed."
"Really? 'Pretty' is the last word you could find?" I said dubiously, cutting the game.
She giggled and got up on her elbows, her face hovering over mine. "Unbelievably Greek God gorgeous. So fucking handsome, I sometimes have trouble believing he's real."
I twirled a lock of her hair on my finger from the curtain of it around my head. "Do you want a concrete proof of his reality?"
Her eyes smoldered. "Yes."
KAREN.
I skimmed my hands down the contour of his ripped abs, feeling each toned muscle carved into his body perfectly. It was certainly an advantage that he slept shirtless. He pulled me down by my hair and roughly kissed me, pushing his tongue deep inside my mouth like he wanted to taste every part of me all at once.
My hands soon found the bulge in his sweats, his erection straining to be freed from its fabric constraints. I obliged and pulled down his sweats and boxers, letting the whole length of him spring up. He groaned into my mouth as I stroked him gently. Having the control to his ecstasy in the palm of my hand made me feel so powerful.
I pressed lingering kisses down his torso, giving a lick to each of the buff pecs, until my tongue was tracing the narrow strip of waist where his body streamlined into the V-shape his expensive suits always flaunted. He bunched my hair in his hands, guiding me lower. I didn't have to be told twice. I pecked teasing kisses along the shaft until he was growling at me like an animal, and finally dipped my head to take him in. Keeping my tongue at the base of the shaft, I bobbed my head up and down to take him in inch by inch until he was hitting the back of my throat.
I held onto his hips for support, the need to consume him overtaking every other need. Ignoring my gag reflex, I took him that deep once more. He tried to tug my hair to pull me away but I could feel him jerking and soon he came undone in my mouth.
I heard him whimper out a moan as I licked up every drop of him. I swirled my tongue around the shaft until I'd completely cleaned him up. He practically heaved me up like a rucksack and slid me beneath him. "You're one talented woman." He sounded so husky, so crazed, it almost drove me to the edge.
I wrapped my legs around his waist and lifted my head up a little to trace his angular jaw with my lips. He closed his eyes and slid inside me with a slight gasp. The shadow of a beard covering his jaw was rubbing erotically against my skin. His rough ways were a marked contrast to the soft pillows beneath me. I pulled him closer to me, my nails digging into his back. He sucked in a breath through his teeth at the sweet pain.
"Damn it," I groaned when I felt him inside me, pushing my limits like never before. He thrust inside me with a primal force, driven by a corporeal craving that seemed insatiable, and I tried not to scream, muffling my loud responses by nibbling along his neck.
The lascivious rollercoaster of pain and pleasure fell off the track way too soon and we both crashed down together, holding tightly on to each other to get back alive. I was breathing very hard and each time oxygen went in, it ached because he was the only thing I wanted inside me.
"That. Was. Amazing," I managed to say between breaths.
He chastely kissed my forehead which was drenched with sweat. We lied together for quite a while in companionable silence, interrupted only by the sound of his loud heartbeat. I was comfortably perched on top of him, with my head on his chest and his strong arms wrapped around me lovingly.
He took a deep breath in and let it out, his chest rising and falling with the action. "I've got to go," he said suddenly.
I rolled off him, kind of surprised at the sudden change of heart. I stared at him in worry as he changed his clothes. His eyebrows were downcast like he was thinking way too hard and a slight frown marred his handsome face.
"Something wrong?" I asked hesitantly, hoping I hadn't said or done something to upset him.
He shook his head and disappeared inside the bathroom, only to emerge fifteen minutes later in a new pair of trousers and a crisp white shirt that he was buttoning up.
I wore the shirt he had discarded earlier and stared at him with growing dread. He wasn't even looking at me. "Nathan..."
As if something had just struck his mind, he turned on his heel and marched straight up to me with a determined face. "Can I ask you something?" he said, sitting down at the edge of the bed.
I crawled closer to him and closed the top three buttons of his shirt, smoothing down the collar. "Anythin
g."
"Do you not trust me?" he asked.
My eyes snapped up. "I wouldn't exactly be in bed with you if I didn't, would I?"
He moved my fingers away from his collar, apparently unsatisfied with my answer, and started to get up but I pulled him back down to me. "What's wrong, Nathan?" I asked again.
"Nothing," he muttered and tried to get away and yet again I had to reel him back.
"You expect me to tell you everything that worries me. I thought it would go both ways," I said pointedly.
He sighed. "It's just..." He sighed again. "I really like you, you know? But... You don't tell me anything unless I rip it out of you. I tried so hard to gain your trust but ultimately, it's like I'm forcing myself on you. I-" He shook his head. "You know what? Chuck it."
"Nathan Black. Slow down there a little. Man, you make my head spin," I chided him.
For the third time, he sat down again and I sidled closer to him and gently guided his head to my shoulder. He was stiff for a second but then he loosely encircled my waist with his arms.
"I like you too, you know? I told you that I have trouble asking people for help. Because I don't know how to. You're such an amazing man, Nathan. Why would you ever get such thoughts in your head? You've singularly helped me more than everybody combined on this planet. I do trust you. I trust you with myself, and I don't know what bigger form of trust there can be."
Once I was finished, I wanted to pat myself on the back. That was a damn good speech. I should probably go into something like counselling or motivational speaking.
"I'm not asking you to ask me for help. But you could at least pick up my calls? I was worried sick for two days straight, baby doll," he said. He turned his face sideways so that his lips were pressed against my neck.
I pulled back a little to look in his eyes. "You called me?"
He nodded. "You didn't know that?"
I searched around for my jeans and then for my mobile phone inside those jeans. It was switched off. "It was silent earlier, and then I guess the battery drained. I'm sorry. I didn't check."
"Oh. It's okay."
"See, I wasn't ignoring your calls. I just didn't know," I pointed out.
"Yeah. Yeah, you're right. I'm sorry." This time when he smiled, it reached his eyes.
I asked him to give me a charger, and since we both had an iPhone, he gave me his. I plugged it in a socket above the study table. No sooner had I switched it on, it started ringing.
"Hey, Ash-"
She started screaming her head off at me before I could get two whole words through. "Where the fuck are you? Do you know how scared I was? Where have you been the whole damn night? Is there no sense of responsibility in you or what?"
"Ashley. Ashley. Ashley!" I shouted back but to no avail. She was on a roll.
"After all that has happened, couldn't you at least tell me where you're going? All Rayne tells me is that some Nathan Black came and took you. That's all. That chick can't handle shit. I thought you were responsible! Why didn't you tell me you were going somewhere?"
I cut the call at that. I was fuming. I was positively over the top mad at her. She was my sister, yes, but there was no way I was listening to all of that shit from anyone in my life. And she wasn't even a part of my life.
She called again and this time when I picked up, I started screaming at her before she could say anything. "You're talking to me about responsibility, Ashley?" I said unbelievingly. "You? Because you were the first one to be on mom's beck and call both the times she had cancer, right? And you were the first one to rush to her help when I didn't have the fucking money for her treatment, isn't it? Oh yes, you came rushing from wherever you were right when you got to know about it. You didn't even attend her funeral, goddamn it. Don't talk to me about fucking responsibilities!"
Nathan had been knotting his tie in front of the mirror but he froze when he saw me shouting, looking at me in concern.
"I told you I was in a remote part of Africa, Karen. I couldn't get phone signals there half the time. If I had known about it-"
I cut her off again. "Please, bitch. Don't tell me that story. Where were you eight years ago? I didn't have money for her treatment then either. But you felt so comfortable to quit on both of us because apparently Venice was more important, right? You're just like dad. So stop giving me the shit," I said bitterly.
"I get why you're mad at me," she said quietly, "but you're not even willing to understand me. You don't want to see what my situation is or was like. I might be a quitter but you're so self-centered, you can't see past anyone but you."
I didn't even know that tears had again escaped my eyes until Nathan kneeled down in front of me and wiped them off with the pad of his thumb. "Okay. Fine," I said emotionlessly and cut the call.
"Who was it?" he asked me softly, stroking my hair.
"My sister." I sighed. He didn't have to ask me this time. I would tell him what was going on, on my own. "She's a lifestyle journalist and she left us alone a long time ago to pursue this career. And, well, you heard the rest of the conversation. I'm just really mad at her. She was pissed because I didn't tell her I'm spending the night with you. Like, who the fuck is she to talk to me about responsibility?" I laughed without humor.
Nathan had stilled somewhere between when I was speaking. He was looking at me but he wasn't exactly looking at me. "Your sister?" he asked.
"Yes."
"You said her name was Ashley?"
"Yes."
"Lifestyle journalist?"
I lowered my eyebrows at his absurd questions. "Yes."
"Went to Venice eight years ago?"
"God, yes. Why do you ask?" I said, finally exasperated.
Without a word, he got up and disappeared inside his closet. I heard the sound of clothes being shuffled and a couple of drawers being open and shut. He emerged a couple of minutes later with a photo frame in his hand. It had a picture of him, probably from his early twenties, with his arms wrapped around a pretty girl, both of them smiling indulgently at the camera. Their eyes shined with hope and love, like their worlds hadn't been broken yet.
"Recognize her?" he asked.
I gasped at my sister's face staring back at me.
NATHAN.
I had met Ashley in sophomore year. She was the most vibrant person I'd ever seen, with energy and life pouring out of her. Her laugh was so infectious, it was impossible to stay sad around her. She made me feel happy. She made me like who I was after I was stripped of my family's money. It was easy to fall in love with her, and that I did. She fell for me too and when she told me she loved me in her cheerful voice, I could've sworn it was the best day of my life.
But as fate may have it, young love comes to an end. We were twenty two. She had just completed a degree in mass communication. I was still doing my masters in business. One day, she called me in a secluded coffee shop and chose an even more secluded corner for us. I should have known there was something wrong right that instant.
She held my hand and told me that she had been offered the job of a side anchor in a company shooting documentaries on lifestyle journalism. Her first stop was Venice and she would be leaving in a week Venice was the first place but there were many to follow. Even then she knew that she would never come back to New York, to me, to the life we had dreamt of living together. And obviously I couldn't go with her. It was impossible, the first and foremost reason being the fact that my education was yet not complete.
She was a free bird and birds are meant to fly in the sky, not be trapped in a cage. And staying at one place was a cage for her. She wanted to fly to different places. She wanted to travel. She wanted to live a thousand lives within one. Ultimately, her personal dream was important than our shared one and she left me alone. Since then, I'd never been able to fall in love with anybody. I dated a lot of girls, hooked up with more, but I never had the motivation to try with anybody.
Until Karen.
And she turned out to be the sister of the on
ly girl I'd ever fallen for before her.
"Karen. Talk to me," I pleaded her. I needed to know what was going on in her mind. I needed to know she wouldn't leave me just because her sister had been there once.
"What do I say?" She smiled incredulously. "Is that why you like me? Do you see a hint of my sister in me? Do I remind you of her?"
Truthfully, I'd never really thought about it. I'd never really thought about Ashley since Karen had come into my life. But they were as different as could be.
"You're nothing like her," I said.
"Does that bother you?" She didn't sound rude. She just sounded anxious. And mostly like she couldn't believe any of it was happening.
"No. Not at all. I like you for who you are. And I don't want even a single thing to change," I said. I tried to grasp her arm but she stepped back.
"Are you still in love with her?" she asked. There was a pain in her eyes that was breaking me apart.
"No, Karen, I'm not. Can you please stop this insanity?" I asked in a volume a little louder than it should have been.
She flinched. She had already worn a jeans below my shirt. She tucked her mobile phone in her back pocket and stormed out. The last words she had muttered were, "Great. One good thing in my life and she managed to ruin that too."
I ran out to stop her but there was another woman standing in the living room who blocked my way. "Mother, please, I'll be back in one minute," I begged her but by then Karen was already out of the door.
Mother pointed to the door with a livid finger. "That," she spat out, "is why you shirked off last night's dinner with your family?"
"That," I mocked her, "is my girlfriend, who I may have lost because you wouldn't give me one minute out of your precious time to spend on someone other than you."
She swung back her hand and slapped me right across the cheek. I covered the sting with my hand. "Learn how to talk to elders," she said coldly and went away.
That's what she had come for? Scolding me, slapping me and then going away? It was surprising to what lengths the woman would go just to make her son feel guilty.
