“Maybe I should clean up?” she wondered out loud as she studied the sty-that-was-her-room. “Ah, whatever. I'll do it later.”
With a shrug of her shoulders Lindsay wandered up to her desk, which was just as messy as the rest of her room. The top was littered with papers, pens, pencils and several other knick-knacks that would have most people scratching their head in confusion, wondering what sort of function they served.
As she stopped in front of her desk, Lindsay's eyes landed on a very specific object—one that she found herself looking at often these days. It was a picture of her and Kevin when they were younger, back when her friend wasn’t girl-shy, and she had just been one of the guys.
She player picked the picture up and looked at it. She and Kevin were standing side by side, their arms around each other's shoulders. Kevin had the biggest grin plastered on his face, a smile so wide that it threatened to split his face in half and forced his eyes to close. She was grinning, too, and her free hand was held up in front of the camera, giving it the peace sign.
A sad smile crossed her face. She missed those days. She missed how Kevin had been able to talk to her like a normal person. She missed being able to spend time with him. In some ways, Lindsay found herself longing for those days again.
In other ways… not so much. The more she grew up, the less she found herself wanting to be seen as one of the guys, and the more she wanted Kevin to see her as a woman.
He did see her that way now, but he hadn't been able to talk to her once it dawned on him that girls weren't just boys without boy parts. It was cute at first, but after a while, she had really been hoping that he would get over his shyness. This desire had gotten especially bad after she had realized that he had a crush on her.
Her eyes dimmed, and her smile turned into a frown. He had gotten better now. For nearly one and a half or so weeks—ever since Lilian appeared, now that she thought about it—Kevin had been talking to her like a normal person, but it wasn't because of her. It was all due to Lilian.
A single tear fell from her eyes. It traveled down her cheek, all the way to her chin, where it dripped off and splashed against the glass frame in her hands. Another soon followed the first, which was followed by another and another, until she was crying in earnest.
Her face turned into a combination of a smile and a grimace as she brushed her fingers against the photo.
“Lilian was able to do what I couldn't…”
That was a bitter pill to swallow.
“… She's a much better match for Kevin than I am…”
That knowledge didn't stop her from hurting.
“… I hope she can bring you the happiness that I couldn't…”
Alone in her house, Lindsay cried as she realized that her desire to hear Kevin confess his love for her of his own gumption had allowed another girl to worm their way into his heart.
***
Kevin took in a deep breath as he entered the apartment that he shared with Lilian and his mom—when she was home. A second later, he released it in a large gust, before a smile broke out across his face.
“Man, it feels good to be back home.”
Closing the door behind him, the young man raised his hands above his head, stretching them as high as they could go. He could feel his joints crack in a most satisfying manner.
“Today was definitely a nice break from school and all that monotonous homework they give us. Though I think we should do something a bit more fun than clothes shopping tomorrow.” He turned to look at his housemate. “Hey, Lilian, how would you like to go to the arcade to… mor… row…?” Kevin trailed off when he saw the disquieted expression on the two-tailed kitsune’s face. “Lilian?”
“Hmm?” Lilian blinked. Her head turned toward him. “I'm sorry, were you saying something?”
“Nothing. Forget about it.” The frown deepened. “Are you okay?”
The smile she gave him did nothing to convince Kevin of her sincerity.
“I'm fine. I was just thinking about something.”
Her words didn't do much to reassure him, either.
“So!” Her smile widened as she clapped her hands together. “Why don't I get started on dinner? I'm thinking of making ground beef gyros. I've never made them before, so it should be interesting.”
“I've never had gyros before,” Kevin admitted, “But don't you think it's a little early for dinner?” He looked at the clock. “It's only two-thirty.”
Lilian frowned, looked at the clock, then back at Kevin.
“Then what should we do until then?”
“We can start by talking,” Kevin suggested. Lilian seemed to interpret something in his words, because she turned away, presenting her back to him.
“I'm not sure if there's anything that we can talk about,” her voice was even, but off. Kevin could sense that something was amiss. The tone of her voice, the pitch and timber, it all sounded wrong. “I mean, we did just spend the entire day together.”
“We spend every day together and still find things to talk about, so don't give me that,” Kevin quipped, looking at the back of Lilian's head. Long crimson hair cascaded down her back like a shimmering waterfall. Kevin would have normally admired how it glimmered in the light, but his concern overrode his appreciation of her glamorous locks. “You've been quiet ever since we had lunch. You've hardly said a single word. I want to know what's wrong.”
“Nothing's wrong.”
“Something is obviously wrong,” Kevin countered. He would have rolled his eyes, but that seemed a tad redundant. “You can't fool me.” He took a single step toward the girl, and placed a hand on her shoulder, but Lilian shrugged it off. “Lilian, please, tell me what's wrong.”
“As if you don't know!” Lilian whirled around suddenly to face Kevin. His heart lurched as he got a good look at the twin-tailed beauty's face, at the tears running down her fair cheeks, and the slight redness in her eyes. “I know what you and Lindsay were talking about! I know that you confessed to her!”
Kevin's eyes went wide.
“Lilian…”
“That's why you're so happy, isn't it?” Lilian continued as more and more silvery droplets of salty liquid fell from her eyes. “Because you were finally able to confess your love to the girl you've had a crush on for so long, right? Well, I'm glad for you. I'm glad that you were finally able to confess to the girl of your dreams.” Lilian sniffled as she tried to futilely wipe the tears from her eyes. “But don't expect me to be happy just because you and Lindsay are now dating. Because I can't be happy when I… when you…”
“Dating?” Had Lilian's vision not been blurred by her tears, she would have seen the confused look on Kevin's face. “Lilian…that's not…”
“Don't try to reassure me,” Lilian hiccuped as she continued wiping at her eyes. Her cheeks were now heavily stained with her tears, streaks of wetness that glistened on her fair skin, catching the light. She turned again, not wanting to look at him. “I know what happened, so don't try to make me feel better. I hope you have a very happy life with Lindsay.”
“Lilian.” Kevin placed his hands on her shoulders. Lilian shook them off, but this didn’t deter him. He placed them back on her shoulders gain, his grip firmer this time. “Lilian, would you just listen to me? I have something important to tell you.”
“No!” Lilian tried to struggle out of his grip, but kitsune were not very strong physically. They could boost their physical capabilities through enhancements, but Lilian’s mental state was such that the idea never occurred to her. “I don't want to hear whatever you have to say. Why don't you just call Lindsay and tell her!”
“Lindsay and I aren't dating!”
The words penetrated her brain seconds before her body stopped shaking. This time when Kevin tried to turn her around to face him, she allowed it. She looked at the boy who meant the world to her; her tear-stained eyes red and puffy.
“What did you say?” she asked, her voice a mere whisper.
Kevin sigh
ed, closing his eyes for a moment of respite now that she was no longer fighting him. He opened them a second later, and looked at Lilian once more, hands relaxing their grip on her shoulders, though he didn’t remove them.
“I said, Lindsay and I aren't dating.”
Long red locks of hair swayed as Lilian tilted her head to look at their bare feet.
“I don't understand.”
She looked up again, her hair parting like the Red Sea. Every flash of emotion that crossed her face was visible for him to see. Lilian's eyes were like an open book. She was completely vulnerable.
Kevin saw the confusion on her face. Despite the tense situation, he allowed himself to feel amused by her baffled expression. “Yeah, I kind of got that. But it's like I said, I'm not dating Lindsay.”
“But, didn't you confess to her?” Lilian questioned. “I thought that's why you went off with her; to confess your feelings.”
Kevin removed his right hand from her shoulder to scratch at his cheek. “Well, yeah, that is why I asked to talk with her alone. But we aren't dating. She turned me down.”
“Turned you down?” It only took Lilian a second to realize what that meant. Her eyes softened. “Oh, Kevin, I'm sorry. I know how much you liked her.”
“Why are you sorry?” Kevin chuckled a bit. “You've got nothing to be sorry for. It's not your fault Lindsay didn't feel the same way about me.”
“Yeah, but…”
“If anyone should be saying sorry, it's me,” Kevin interrupted the girl before she could even think of apologizing again. “I know it hurt you when I confessed to Lindsay. I can't imagine how I would have felt if our positions were reversed, but I know that I wouldn't be very happy.”
“I guess.” Looking at Kevin's smiling face a small, tentative smile appeared on her own. The smile soon left, however, replaced by furrowed brows and irises flickering in confusion. “But, if Lindsay turned you down, then why are you so, well, what I mean is that you don't seem very sad that Lindsay doesn't like you like, well, like that. So then why…?”
“Why am I not depressed and feeling sorry for myself?” Kevin finished for her. When Lilian nodded, the smile on his face became different. Lilian couldn’t place the emotions hidden behind that smile, but it seemed… relieved? No. Maybe disencumbered was a better word. He looked like a large weight had been lifted off his shoulders.
Little did she know that the reason for his smile was because Kevin was remembering his conversation with Lindsay.
***
“Even though I'm glad you finally told me, I can't return your feelings. I just don't like you like that.”
“I see. So that's how it is. Strange,” he muttered softly to himself, “I thought hearing you say that would hurt a bit more.”
“Did you say something?”
“Not a thing.”
“So now that you've told me how you feel, and I’ve told you how I feel, where does that leave us?” asked an uncertain and nervous-looking Lindsay.
Kevin tilted his head.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean that you just made a very heartfelt confession to me, and I shot you down like someone out of a bad romance novel.”
“Ouch.” Kevin flinched. “That was kind of harsh, don't you think?”
“Maybe, but it's also true. It takes a lot of courage to tell someone you like them, and it absolutely sucks when someone turns you down. And I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm worried.” Lindsay looked off to the side, grabbing her right elbow with her left hand. “I mean, can we even be friends after something like this? Do you even want to be my friend now?”
“I don't see why not.” When Lindsay looked at him, her face perplexed, he gave her a bit of a smile and shrugged his shoulders. “I mean, yeah, it does kind of suck to be shot down. But you know what? Even though you turned me down, I actually feel pretty good about all this.”
“Why is that?” An honestly curious Lindsay asked. “I thought you would get depressed and start moping around your apartment the moment you got home.”
“Okay, first of all, men do not mope,” Kevin declared, frowning, and puffing his cheeks out like a child who'd been denied the chance to have a 24-hour Pokemon marathon, but mostly frowning. “We just don't. And secondly, you said it yourself, didn't you? I've matured. I'm not going to act like a spoiled brat, or get all teary-eyed and mopey. Moaning over how unfair life is, and how the girl you like doesn't feel the same way never helped anyone, and it's not going to help me. Yeah, it sucks that you don't like me, but we're in high school. For all we know, our relationship might not have lasted more than a few months before sputtering out anyway, or we could have ended up hating each other when our relationship went down the drain. High school romances seem to have this tendency to sputter and die before the year is out. I mean, how many people do you know who ended up marrying their high school sweetheart?”
“None.” Lindsay shrugged. “But I think that's just because we're still in high school.”
“Semantics.” Kevin waved a dismissive hand. “My point is, most high school relationships don’t last that long—I know for a fact that Chase's current girlfriend is the fifth girl he's dated this year, and he dated ten last year. I asked you because I really like you, but I’m also aware that teenage relationships aren't known for their longevity. People’s feelings can change, or they move away from each other, or something happens and the relationship stagnates. I know this, which is just another reason I was so hesitant to confess to you.”
“You mean aside from the fact that you couldn’t talk to me without the risk of fainting?”
“Ugh.” Kevin felt like he’d just been physically slapped. “Do you really have to bring that up?”
“Sorry, couldn’t help myself,” Lindsay grinned guiltily.
Kevin mumbled under his breath. Lindsay chuckled softly.
“But I guess you do have a point,” Lindsay said, continuing where they left off. “So does that mean we're still friends?”
“Of course.” Grinning like he used to back when they were in elementary school, Kevin thumped his chest. He used to do it a lot back in elementary school, too—probably something he picked up from his anime, Lindsay guessed. He'd watched a lot of that stuff back then as well. “Something like this isn't enough to end our friendship. Sure, things might be a little awkward for a while, but soon enough, we'll be hanging out just like we used to.”
“Like we used to?” Lindsay whispered, sighing.
“Something wrong?”
“No.” She shook her head. “Nothing's wrong. I was just thinking about how much you've grown. That's an awfully mature way of looking at things,” Lindsay complimented. She rocked back and forth on her heels as she spoke, looking at him with a smile. “Then again, you've always been a bit more mature than most of the kids our age.”
“Comes with living alone since I was in middle school, I guess. So anyway.” Kevin stuck out his hand toward the girl. “Friends?”
Clearly understanding what the gesture meant, a large smile spread across Lindsay's face as she stuck out her hand, grasping it. As the two shook hands, Kevin completely missed the way Lindsay's eyes dimmed.
“Yeah… friends.”
***
Kevin returned back to the present. Lilian still stood in front of him, and his hands still rested on her shoulders.
“I guess that's because I didn't like Lindsay as much as I thought I did,” Kevin admitted, then paused. “Or at least, I didn't like her as much as I used to. It's really strange. A few months ago, Lindsay was all I could think about, but recently, she just hasn't been on my mind that much lately.”
Kevin wondered why he'd undergone such a swift change of heart. Maybe he'd only liked Lindsay because she was the only girl who kept talking to him after he became so shy around girls, or maybe it was because they’d been friends since elementary school. He didn't know what the reason was, and he supposed it didn't really matter in the end. It didn't change the
fact that he no longer had strong romantic feelings for the girl that he had originally believed was his dream girl.
“So then, you and Lindsay aren't dating?” Lilian confirmed. Kevin nodded. “And you just found out that you don't really like Lindsay as much as you thought you did?” Another nod. “I see.”
Lilian allowed a smile to appear on her face. While it hurt to know that her beloved had confessed to another girl, hearing this made it all worth it. With Lindsay now a non-factor, she had a chance to truly earn Kevin's love. It was an opportunity that she would not be wasting.
“Right, so now that we've gotten all that cleared up, why don't we see if there's anything good to watch on TV,” Kevin suggested. “I know there’s an anime playing on Cartoon Network right now that you might be interested in. Or, we could watch one of the anime I have on DVD; I know you haven’t watched all of them. Barring that, we could also play video games.”
“I want to play video games!” Lilian, thrusting her hand in the air as a show of enthusiasm. Kevin stared at the girl for a second, then grinned.
“All right, then, video games it is. Why don't you choose what we play while I set up the console?”
As Lilian scurried toward the large display case filled with movies and games, Kevin went to grab the video game console. The rest of the day would be spent peacefully―or at least as peacefully as a day could be when you were involved with an enthusiastic and eager kitsune yōkai.
As they began playing the game that Lilian chose, Kevin decided that he wouldn't have his day any other way.
***
Ms. Vis had been in a foul mood ever since she and the other faculty members arrived at school to discover the extensive amounts of property damage. Actually, she had been rather detestable several hours before then, but hearing about the utter destruction of the gym certainly hadn’t helped. How could she properly facilitate her student's education if they weren't even at school?
A Fox's Tail (American Kitsune Book 2) Page 32
