‘It must have been terrifying for you,’ Sebastian said, his voice sounding as if it had been dragged over something rough. ‘You were only eighteen years old.’
‘It is over now,’ she said. ‘I have many regrets over how things were handled, but the police were only doing their job. My father was a high-profile man. People wanted their scapegoat and I was it.’
‘What are you saying, Cassie? That you were forced into confessing to a crime you did not commit?’ he asked with a heavy frown.
Here’s your chance, Cassie thought. Tell him what it was like. Tell him everything. She even got as far as opening her mouth but the words wouldn’t come out. If she told him about her father she would have to tell him about Sam. What if Sebastian and his family decided she was not a good enough mother for a royal prince? Sam had already been wrenched out of her arms when he was little more than a baby; he would be devastated to have it happen again, even though he was close to school age. If he was taken away from her a second time her devastation would be complete. The only reason she had survived the hell of the last six years had been because of her love for her little boy. To have come this far and lose him at the last hurdle was unthinkable.
‘Cassie?’
‘No,’ she said, addressing his left shoulder rather than his all-seeing gaze. ‘No, of course I wasn’t forced. I understood what was going on and agreed to accept the lesser charge of manslaughter.’
‘Did you have good legal representation?’ he asked.
Cassie thought of the sleazy lawyer she had been assigned. During each of the long drawn-out weeks of the trial he had looked at her as if she had been sitting there naked, his snakelike eyes sliding all over her, reminding her so much of that last altercation with her father she would have agreed to a charge of murder if it had meant she could be free of the lawyer’s loathsome presence all the sooner.
‘I had a lawyer,’ she said tonelessly. ‘We didn’t exactly hit it off, but beggars can’t be choosers, right?’
Sebastian felt another knifelike twist of guilt assail him at her tone. He knew there was a lot she wasn’t telling him, but he could read between the lines enough to know a competent lawyer should have been able to get her off given her age at the time. What if she had acted in self-defence? Surely she shouldn’t have been punished under those circumstances?
But then he thought of the rumours that had been going round at the time of Theo Kyriakis’s death. Rumours of Theo’s increasing despair over his wayward daughter’s drug and alcohol problems. Sebastian knew about Cassie’s drinking but he had never seen her using or acting under the influence of drugs. That didn’t mean she hadn’t been using them, of course. Drug addicts were notoriously adept at keeping secrets. She could easily have popped any number of pills when he wasn’t with her. Their time together had been limited in any case. Keeping their relationship a secret had been his idea; he hadn’t wanted the interference of his overbearing father, not to mention the ever-present paparazzi.
Once Sebastian had found out about Cassie’s betrayal he’d had good reason to be glad their relationship had been such a closely guarded secret. It had been bad enough imagining her laughing at him, let alone the whole population of Aristo. But even so, sometimes he wondered if he had done the right thing.
He had never mentioned it to anyone, but Theo Kyriakis had often struck Sebastian as a little too suave and smooth talking for his liking. He couldn’t quite put his finger on it, but there had been something about the man he hadn’t warmed to as others—including his father—had done. For instance, if Theo had been such a loving and concerned father, why on earth had his will been written in such a way unless he had known Cassie was going to kill him, as she had hinted at only moments ago? It didn’t make sense. What made even less sense was why the lawyer defending her hadn’t pointed that out at the time.
‘How are you managing for money now?’ Sebastian asked.
A glitter of pride flashed in her gaze as it met his. ‘I’m fine. I have what I need for…for myself.’
Sebastian wondered if she was telling the truth. There was something about her that suggested she was more than a little uncomfortable in his presence. She never used to shift her gaze and gnaw at her bottom lip in that restive manner. But then perhaps her time in prison had made her wary of people. It was understandable considering what he had heard about life in prison. He didn’t like to think about what she must have suffered. There was no secret about the violence and rivalry behind bars, even in women’s prisons. Drug use was rife, vicious hierarchies existed and corruption amongst guards was commonplace. No wonder she was edgy and unable to relax even for a moment.
She looked at her watch and got to her feet. ‘I have to go,’ she said. ‘My lunch hour is almost up.’
He intercepted her before she had even picked up her purse off the floor. ‘No, Cassie,’ he said, placing one of his hands over her forearm. ‘I have not finished talking to you yet.’
Cassie looked down at his tanned fingers lying across her bare arm and gave an involuntary shiver. Those hands had taught her so much about passion. They had explored every contour of her body. And for close to six years she had dreamt of how it would feel to have them touch her again. The way he had touched and kissed her last night had made her all the more vulnerable to him. She didn’t have the courage to look at his face, for she was sure he would see the longing there in her eyes. She ached with it; it was like a taut thread in her body, tightening unbearably every time she was near him, pulling her inexorably closer to him.
‘Look at me, Cassie,’ he said into the thrumming silence.
She swallowed and slowly brought her eyes to his. ‘I really have to go, Sebastian,’ she said. ‘Some of the younger children have naps after lunch and I always read to them. They will become agitated if I’m not there.’ She took a tiny swallow and added, ‘I don’t like letting them down.’
‘I told my secretary to inform the director you would not be back until three at the latest.’
She narrowed her eyes at him. ‘You did what?’
His fingers moved down her arm to encircle her wrist, bringing her closer to his hard, tall frame. ‘I cleared my diary so we could have this time together.’
‘You had no right to interfere like that!’ Cassie said, tugging at his hold to no avail. She felt herself climb yet another unstable rung on the ladder of her panic. She could see her little son’s worried face at the window, waiting for her. She could hear the nervous staccato of his speech as he asked Sophie or Kara where his mummy was. She could even see the puddle on the floor and his wet pants, which would distress Sam even though he couldn’t help it during times of acute stress.
‘Why all the fuss?’ Sebastian asked, still holding her firmly. ‘Surely you have earned a couple of hours off?’
Cassie tried to prise off his fingers but he placed his other hand over hers, a move she had no hope of counteracting. She gulped in a ragged breath as she brought her eyes to his. His dark eyes became even darker as they centred on her mouth, the touch of his fingers going from firm and restraining to gentle and tantalisingly sensual. The drugging movement of his thumb on the underside of her wrist caused the slow but inexorable melt of her bones and what was left of her resistance. The blood in her veins became hectic under the rapid-fire beat of her heart. Her stomach felt hollow, her legs felt weak and her breathing became shallow and uneven as his warm breath skated over the surface of her lips as his head came down…
The first brushlike stroke of his mouth on hers was tentative, even a little hesitant, a bit like a goose feather, so soft she wondered if she had imagined it. The second was firmer, with a hint of growing urgency, but the third tasted of desire hot and strong, rocking Cassie to the core. She opened her mouth to the searching glide of his tongue, her insides turning to jelly when that deliciously erotic contact was made. The kiss became more urgent, more passionate, more out of control and she was swept away with it. It felt so wonderful to be held in his arms a
gain, to have his hands at her waist, holding her trembling body against the heat and strength of his. He was hard and getting harder as every second passed, the hollow ache in her body echoing the pounding of his blood against her.
His hands moved from her waist to the small of her back, bringing her closer to his surging heat. Cassie felt her body moisten and her stomach did another dip and dive at the thought of how it had felt with him deep inside her in the past, the rocking motion of their bodies bringing them to the ultimate moment in human pleasure. It was like a craving he had started within her and no one else could ever satisfy it but him. The thought of sharing her body with anyone else was abhorrent to her and had been from the first time she had experienced pleasure in his arms. She had resigned herself to a lifetime of celibacy, never dreaming that one day he would come back into her life and want her again.
He lifted his mouth off hers, his eyes blazing as they locked on hers. ‘I want you and I intend to have you again even if it is only for one night. Think about it, Cassie. One night to remember for the rest of our lives.’
‘This can’t happen, Sebastian,’ she whispered hoarsely even as she felt her body sway towards him. ‘You know it can’t. We were worlds apart before. Now we live in different universes.’
He traced the outline of her cupid’s bow with the tip of his index finger. ‘My head is telling me that but not the rest of me. Why do you do this to me, Cassie? Have you cast a spell on me?’
‘Please don’t make this any harder than it already is,’ she pleaded with him. ‘Let me go, Sebastian, before we do something we will not just remember, but quite possibly regret for the rest of our lives.’
He cupped her face in his hands, locking her gaze with his. ‘No one needs to know about it but us.’
Cassie’s heart gave another head-spinning lurch. ‘You’re really serious about this…’
His thumbs began caressing the twin curves of her cheeks, his eyes so dark she couldn’t see his pupils. ‘I want you, Caz. I still want you. As soon as I saw you at the gala last night I knew I would not rest until I had you again. After we kissed…well, that confirmed to me that you felt the same.’
‘Sebastian…’ She tried to inject some implacability to her tone but she wasn’t sure she quite pulled it off. ‘There are lots of things in life people want but it doesn’t mean they can have them. This will never work between us. You’re the Prince Regent of Aristo and I am…well, you know what I am…everyone knows what I am…’
‘What does it matter what you are or what you have done?’ he asked. ‘This is about here and now, not the future. I cannot offer you marriage, you know that, and, if what you said in the past is true, you don’t want me to. I am offering you an affair to satisfy our needs, that is all.’
Cassie dipped out of his hold and put some distance between them. ‘This is crazy, Sebastian.’ She rubbed at her upper arms as if warding off a chill. ‘You kept our relationship a secret last time but only just. The threat of exposure was constant. How much worse will it be now? Everyone watches your every move. The paparazzi are like ants at a picnic. The guards you surround yourself with could so easily be bribed for a price on your comings and goings. You are no longer in a position to control your public life, let alone your private one.’
‘I have ways and means to keep some aspects of my life absolutely private,’ he countered. ‘I have chosen my personal staff very carefully. They would not betray me. I am absolutely sure of it.’
‘This…this thing between us is just about sex,’ she said in rising frustration. ‘Do you have any idea how that makes me feel?’
He gave her an ironic look. ‘Feelings, Cassie?’ he said. ‘What is this? What happened to the I-just-want-to-have-fun-without-strings Cassie Kyriakis of the past, hmm?’
She never existed in the first place, Cassie said to herself and dearly wished she could say it out loud. She had constructed a fantasy to keep people from seeing the real Cassie. Who would want the real deal? Even her father, her only living relative, had not been able to look at her without hatred and disgust glittering in his eyes.
‘I want different things now,’ she said, trying to control the slight wobble in her voice. ‘I have spent a long time thinking about where I went wrong. I don’t want to make the same mistakes this time around.’
A glint of resentment lit his gaze as it pinned hers. ‘So you consider your involvement with me back then as a mistake?’
Cassie thought of her little son. Their little son. How could she regret the one good thing, the only good thing that had come out of their short-lived and secret relationship? Sam was everything to her. He was her saviour, her reason for living. She could never, not in a million years, regret anything to do with how he was conceived. ‘No…’ she said at the end of an expelled breath. ‘I went into our relationship with my eyes wide open.’
‘Not to mention your legs.’
She flinched as if he had struck her. ‘I beg your pardon?’
‘Come on, Cassie,’ he said with a derisive look. ‘You were no blushing virgin when you leapt into my bed.’
She ground her teeth as she fought to contain her temper. ‘That’s a rather sexist thing to say. You had plenty of experience yourself, if I remember correctly.’
‘But still not enough for you,’ he said with a cutting edge to his tone. ‘You had God knows how many other men lining up to pleasure you. You gave me a list of names, remember?’
Each and every lie she had ever told seemed determined to backfire on her one way or the other. The only thing she could do was to paper over her previous lies with more lies and hope to God he never discovered the truth. ‘I am not particularly proud of my behaviour back then,’ she said stiffly, ‘but you never gave me any indication you were developing more serious feelings for me. I thought we wanted the same things—fun without strings.’
‘It started that way, yes, but you had a rather bewitching way about you, Cassie, that made me want more,’ he said. ‘I was going to tell you but you got in first with your announcement that you wanted out.’
Cassie stared at him, her heart sinking at the thought of what she had inadvertently thrown away. Why hadn’t he given her some clue earlier? She had never for a moment suspected he was falling for her. He had been very passionate and attentive, yes, but as for showing any sign of developing stronger feelings…Oh, dear God! What cruel twist of fate had led them to this torturous impasse?
The silence stretched and stretched to the point of agony.
‘Aren’t you going to ask me, Cassie?’ Sebastian said.
She shook herself out of her frozen state. ‘Ask you w-what?’
His top lip curled sardonically. ‘The question women always ask in situations such as this.’
Cassie pressed her lips together as she struggled with her see-sawing emotions. ‘OK, then…’ She took an unsteady breath and asked him even though she knew it would not help her to know, but rather would only make it a thousand times worse. ‘Do you still have feelings for me?’
He stood looking at her for a long time before answering. Cassie wondered if he was still making up his mind. But in the end she wasn’t all that surprised by his answer—heart-wrenchingly disappointed, yes, but not a bit surprised.
‘I do not love you,’ he said. ‘Do not mistake physical desire for more noble feelings. There is nothing noble or indeed proper about what I feel for you now, Cassie. I want an affair with you to get you out of my system before I take up the reins of duty. I will be expected to marry and to marry well. I believe someone has already been earmarked as a potential bride.’
Cassie felt as if he had plunged a serrated fishing knife deep into her chest. She wanted to bend over double to counteract the pain but only pride kept her upright and rigid. ‘Oh, really?’ she said in a disinterested tone. ‘That certainly takes the legwork out for you, doesn’t it? Just think—no hours wasted flirting, no money thrown away on flowers and meals at exclusive restaurants. Lucky you.’
His eyes were dark slits of brooding anger. ‘This is not over, Cassie,’ he said. ‘Not by a long shot. I would not have brought you here if I did not believe you want the same thing as I do. You betrayed it to me last night when you returned my kiss.’
‘Yes, well, that’s only because I haven’t been kissed for a long…’ Cassie stopped and bit her lip, suddenly realising she had just tripped over one of her very own lies…
CHAPTER FIVE
SEBASTIAN came across to where she was standing, and, taking her chin between his thumb and index finger, lifted her face to meet his gaze. ‘So there is no current man in your life,’ he mused. ‘What other lies have you told me, hmm?’
Cassie felt her heart kicking erratically behind her chest wall. Her mouth dried up, her throat locked tight and her breathing came to a shuddering halt. ‘Just that one…’ she said, mentally calculating how many falsehoods she had told him within the space of less than twenty-four hours.
‘I wonder what other little secrets you are keeping,’ he said, still holding her gaze with the piercing scrutiny of his. ‘Like where you live, for instance.’
Cassie swallowed. ‘Where I live is no secret.’
‘If so, then why was it when Stefanos dropped you at your house last night you failed to enter it but slipped out of sight up a lane before he could follow you?’
‘Um…I…’
He smiled at her knowingly. ‘Are you frightened Aristo’s future king might call around for a spontaneous visit, hmm?’
The Future King's Love-Child (The Royal House 0f Karedes Book 6) Page 5
